Cheryl= Pregnant again

[over-thinker]

If I was 48 and getting a positive on a pregnancy test I would be freaking out. Like, hardcore freaking out, panicking.

That said, I think she is absolutely full of shit.

[MonkeyMomma]

This all is supposed to have happened in 1987, so I don't know what medical technology was like then. Ultrasound machines keep getting better resolution as time goes on, but I don't know what they could detect in the late 80s. Today, it's possible to have an ectopic or an intra-uterine pregnancy that is too early to detect by ultrasound. If you had a low B-hCG quantitative blood test--if you knew there was a low level of the pregnancy hormone in the blood--you would know if looking with an ultrasound would be less useful because the pregnancy would most likely be too small to see--you wouldn't be able to see it in the uterus or the tubes. Another thing is, the B-hCG is supposed to rise at a certain rate--if it rises too slowly, that indicates either an ectopic or an abnormal intra-uterine pregnancy. If it falls, that indicates a miscarriage. So if you have abnormal B-hCG rate of rise you don't necessarily need an ultrasound to prove the pregnancy is abnormal.

So you can have a situation where the rate of rise is too slow--because both an abnormal intra-uterine pregnancy and an ectopic pregnancy can cause this, you don't know based on that blood test which it is. And if the blood test is too low/the pregnancy, wherever it is, is too small for you to see anything by ultrasound, you can't tell where it is by ultrasound--you can't say it's not in the uterus just because you don't see anything in the uterus. But an abnormal intra-uterine pregnancy that is having too slow of a rise of B-hCG is not viable--it's a pregnancy that will eventually miscarry, but you've caught it before it actually stopped growing. It's not a situation as dangerous as an ectopic pregnancy, but it will still never result in a live infant. If they didn't know which pregnancy was going on but were afraid someone would rupture soon (or, I guess in the 1980s, you had to do surgeries on all ectopic pregnancies because medication-only therapy wasn't available?) you could have both a D&C and surgery. The D&C would be to test for the presence of an intra-uterine pregnancy--because you need to be able to somewhat locate the pregnancy. If it wasn't seen in the tubes, and it also wasn't in the uterus, you would need to look for an ectopic pregnancy in the abdominal cavity, because that is also dangerous. But you would also have the D&C because the pregnancy, wherever it is, is nonviable.

One thing that's weird about her story is that she seems to see the OB in an office and then goes home for the night with this pain? But if they were afraid she had an ectopic that was so big it was stretching the tube and causing pain, it seems like they would hospitalize her to watch for a rupture of the fallopian tube. I mean, maybe if she were in a lot of pain and they were like, oh goodness this lady has a terrible ectopic pregnancy we should do surgery without waiting for a full workup I can see how something could be missed. But I don't think it was like, "We think you could bleed to death at any minute, OK have a good night's sleep at home!"

And also having one ovary removed doesn't decrease your fertility by 50%.

This is a really helpful explanation, so thank you! So, now I'm extremely confused about the fact that no one seemed to explain this to her. What with the "Can't you just move the baby down?" and the teary-eyed "accidental abortion" from the doctor ... did no one bother to explain the procedure and the explanation of non-viable pregnancies? It seems like, if everything went down as reported, the doctor could have saved this woman years of pain by leveling with her. Which is pretty shitty. I mean, I still think Cheryl is a terrible person for many other things, but damn, this just doesn't seem fair.

[Coconut Flan]

Fumble fingers - didn't mean to post.

[Wolfie]

This is a really helpful explanation, so thank you! So, now I'm extremely confused about the fact that no one seemed to explain this to her. What with the "Can't you just move the baby down?" and the teary-eyed "accidental abortion" from the doctor ... did no one bother to explain the procedure and the explanation of non-viable pregnancies? It seems like, if everything went down as reported, the doctor could have saved this woman years of pain by leveling with her. Which is pretty shitty. I mean, I still think Cheryl is a terrible person for many other things, but damn, this just doesn't seem fair.

They probably did. The volunteers were probably trying to explain it to her, the doctor probably tried to explain it to her, but she probably didn't listen. She's not all that smart as demonstrated in her blog. (other than to try to spread propaganda)

[fundiefan]

That accidental abortion story is the biggest bunch of crap I've ever read.

Why do people have to make up the worst of the worst in order to get their point across? Is their argument not strong enough to stand on its own?

[MuseMama]

One of my pregnancies ended in a loss at 22 weeks due to early induction of labor, because my daughter was incompatible with life. A year ago I had a son who was born with a (usually fatal) neural tube defect. In both cases I recieved terrible news. Both times all of my options were discussed with me, and no choice was pushed over another. When I made my decision with my daughter, the doctor told me that would have been his choice, but he never said so before I'd made up my mind. With my son, I was annoyed that the perinatologist sent me home with literature on making a choice about ending a pregnancy before I'd had a chance to get information from all the appropriate specialists, but at the same time, the choice wasn't forced on me.

Still, I hear over and over again from special needs moms, that they were told they had to abort. Just like we hear that from the super-fundies. I think because they're sensitive about it, that's how they interpret it. But that's not the reality. Not usually. And what can the professionals do? There's no way to advise without bringing it up.

[Funintended]

:? I would have had to get glasses and find the best lighting since before my ovaries even STARTED spitting out eggs. But it's good to know you think at ten I was too old to have a baby. Bad eyesight isn't always related to age.

True. But while most 10 year olds CAN see a pregnancy test reading fine, that doesn't mean they SHOULD have kids. If you're almost 50, it's time to be done having kids regardless of eyesight because a lot more than just eyesight and ovaries are gonna get tired before the fetus is old enough to take care of themselves.

[MrsKay]

One of my pregnancies ended in a loss at 22 weeks due to early induction of labor, because my daughter was incompatible with life. A year ago I had a son who was born with a (usually fatal) neural tube defect. In both cases I recieved terrible news. Both times all of my options were discussed with me, and no choice was pushed over another. When I made my decision with my daughter, the doctor told me that would have been his choice, but he never said so before I'd made up my mind. With my son, I was annoyed that the perinatologist sent me home with literature on making a choice about ending a pregnancy before I'd had a chance to get information from all the appropriate specialists, but at the same time, the choice wasn't forced on me.

Still, I hear over and over again from special needs moms, that they were told they had to abort. Just like we hear that from the super-fundies. I think because they're sensitive about it, that's how they interpret it. But that's not the reality. Not usually. And what can the professionals do? There's no way to advise without bringing it up.

I think it just makes them feel speshul to have more persecution stories to add to their blogs. Some doctors are more sensitive than others, and there are a few who are vehemently opposed to risking a baby with special needs, or who has a less than 100% shot at surviving. Sometimes it's about their stats, sometimes it's because they've seen too many families go through heartache, and think that their opinion makes the most sense. You were around when I almost lost BoyKay at 22+ weeks; I don't know if I mentioned it much or not, but those doctors, for the most part, WERE mean and nasty. Do I think that they meant to be? Nah. I think that most of them really did believe that the odds were stacked too high against us, and I know that they were. I have no issue with women who choose to just induce labor in my situation, because the risks are huge. A couple of them, I believe, were fresh out of med school, and had the misfortune of having a God Complex.

But you're right. How the hell are you supposed to tell a parent that their baby is probably going to die, and present the options to them, without looking and feeling like a sack of shit? It's easy to take it personally as a parent, but as time has gone by, I've been able to understand more, how hard it must have been for those doctors who were advising me on decisions that would change the lives of everyone in our family. They were not persecuting me, they were thinking of the quality of life for my unborn child, and for me and the rest of the family. They're the ones who see the outcome every single day, more often bad than good. You and I both got incredibly lucky, and have two adorable boys to show for it. I don't think that makes us any more special or blessed - we're both Pagan, right? ;) - it's just how "shit happens". But not if you're a Fundie. Then we all know that everything is about you and your faith. :roll:

[Koala]

Is this directed towards someone at FJ?

http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.com/2012/09/my-moment-to-unleash.html

The only thing that makes me wonder is the fact that she talks like she has just discovered the site she's talking about, but she has known about us since she blogged about how wonderful she is for loving her oldest daughter.

[MonkeyMomma]

Is this directed towards someone at FJ?

http://treasuresfromashoebox.blogspot.c ... leash.html

The only thing that makes me wonder is the fact that she talks like she has just discovered the site she's talking about, but she has known about us since she blogged about how wonderful she is for loving her oldest daughter.

My favorite comment so far:

I've lurked on that board for quite a while now. Those women are nasty and mean. You will know them by their fruit and most of them are divorced, unhappy, and negative all of the time. It seems like every other minute someone there is posting about how they caught their husband cheating, their children are out of control, or that their marriage is falling apart. It is no wonder, because if the way they treat people in real life is in any way like the way they interact with people over the computer, I can't imagine many people enjoy spending time around them. You're right, they deserve grace. They are lonely for obvious reasons. I honestly don't think they can control the way they act. There but by the grace of God, right?

I don't think we're reading the same board, brave anonymous commenter.

[GeoBQn]

Can I call dibs on guava as my fruit?

[Koala]

Can I call dibs on guava as my fruit?

I'm not big on fruit. Do we have anything chocolate covered available? If I'm going to have sinful fruit, I want to go out with a bang!

[over-thinker]

My favorite comment so far:

I don't think we're reading the same board, brave anonymous commenter.

Unless she is seeing forums I don't have access to, I've not seen much personal chatter.

[MrsKay]

I've lurked on that board for quite a while now. Those women are nasty and mean. You will know them by their fruit and most of them are divorced, unhappy, and negative all of the time. It seems like every other minute someone there is posting about how they caught their husband cheating, their children are out of control, or that their marriage is falling apart. It is no wonder, because if the way they treat people in real life is in any way like the way they interact with people over the computer, I can't imagine many people enjoy spending time around them. You're right, they deserve grace. They are lonely for obvious reasons. I honestly don't think they can control the way they act. There but by the grace of God, right?

WHY do I always miss the drama??? Can someone PLEASE direct me to these threads? I need something to distract me from my boring life. I can't imagine what we could post that would be more racy than Cheryl screwing her BFF's husband and treating her daughter like a despised servant. :shock:

[rock_girl]

Then I saw it! The same words left on my blog post. But wait...this person has linked her BLOG to her comment. OH WOW!!! Here's my chance to unleash! A dream come true!.

I'll just leave a comment where she's sure to read it...right on her blog! Let me see who this woman is...married; children. Oh wait; she was widowed in 2010. Hmmm... Oh, she also has two teen boys (ages 14 and 15). Can't imagine what that would be like...trying to raise two teenage boys without my husband. *insert "softening heart" here.

But wait! She really did hurt my feelings! She called me a liar, for Pete's sake! Now is my chance to speak back to these nasty people who leave ugly comments on my blog. Who talk so hatefully about me and my family. This woman DESERVES a piece of my mind!

"No Cheryl. What she NEEDS is...grace." Love, Jesus.

That is not an example of grace or of love. If it were really so, Cheryl wouldn't have felt the need to broadcast her actions in that way. She did what she did knowing full well she'd post an account on her blog and that her sycophantic followers would praise her for being so kind, so charitable, so full of Jesus' love.

If you're reading here, Cheryl, you're none of these things. You're an evil, hateful, twisted piece of trash. And in a few months you're going to be fatter than ever :dance:. Crash diets don't work and in the long run play havoc with your health.

If the commenter Cheryl was targeting is a member of this board, then I'm terribly sorry to hear about your husband. But glad to see you showing up this liar for what she really is.

[Koala]

She miscarried.

[Sola]

Unsurprising really, she is 48 years old.

[MonkeyMomma]

She miscarried.

I am sad for her - it's obvious she was very excited about the pregnancy. I'll leave it at that for now.

[Koala]

Unsurprising really, she is 48 years old.

Yeah, I kind of had a feeling it would go this way. I've miscarried twice myself, so I never truly trust a pregnancy until I see a healthy baby.

[Koala]

I am sad for her - it's obvious she was very excited about the pregnancy. I'll leave it at that for now.

I can't say I feel the same. I am saving my sympathy for the children that have been subjected to having her and Terri for parents. Her mistreatment of them has been disgusting. I don't think I could ever rejoice over seeing an innocent baby born to a rabid Pearl follower.

[MonkeyMomma]

I can't say I feel the same. I am saving my sympathy for the children that have been subjected to having her and Terri for parents. Her mistreatment of them has been disgusting. I don't think I could ever rejoice over seeing an innocent baby born to a rabid Pearl follower.

Yeah, that's fair. I don't wish the process of losing a wanted pregnancy on anyone. Especially when your self-worth and value in your system of belief is based solely on your reproductive capabilities. I'm sure she's in pain, and so I feel some empathy for that pain. But it wasn't exactly a rosy road for anyone involved or potentially involved.

I will also say that I was really surprised when she announced the pregnancy as early as she did.

[Koala]

Yeah, that's fair. I don't wish the process of losing a wanted pregnancy on anyone. Especially when your self-worth and value in your system of belief is based solely on your reproductive capabilities. I'm sure she's in pain, and so I feel some empathy for that pain. But it wasn't exactly a rosy road for anyone involved or potentially involved.

I will also say that I was really surprised when she announced the pregnancy as early as she did.

I guess my thing is this: *IF* that pregnancy had been successful it would have been another child for Cheryl and Terri to beat with plumbing line. She can bullshit all day about sweet babies wrapped in little pink blankets, but we all know (by Cheryl's own words) what another child would have suffered at her hands, and that's not to mention the horribly oppressive views they would have been raised with. A child shouldn't have to suffer to elevate a grown woman's sense of self worth. I'm sure she's in pain too, but I would't ease her pain by subjecting a child to her cruelty.

She can whine about what mean, evil, heathens we are if she wants to, but one of us believes in hitting kids and oppressing women and one of us doesn't.

[Coconut Flan]

I'm hard hearted enough to say well that's completely expected. Just my opinion, but she should have kept quiet until it was obvious to everyone. There is no reason to drag her family and readers through this very likely miscarriage. It looks like an attention grabbing ploy from this side of the fence.

I feel for her children who probably didn't know that this was almost certainly going to be the outcome and will now have to likely cater to her as she recovers.