Jump to content
IGNORED

Smockity and spanking


godlytomatosoup

Recommended Posts

I'm reading the comments on this post by Smockity, and this comment by one of her readers I found even more disturbing than the rest of them:

Regarding living in a place where you can’t spank, I’ve heard of people calling spanking “time out.†That way, you can be in the store and tell your child, “If you do XYZ, you’ll get a time out when we get to the car.†No one who overheard you thinks you’re going to spank your child. If the child even starts wailing, “No, no, I don’t want a time out,†it’s still not a problem. Of course, it would work a lot better for homeschoolers.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And one day the child will realize saying "time out" doesn't get a response from strangers but saying "hit me" will. It's not like people only use one word for something - if my roommate asks if I want spaghetti for dinner, I might say that pasta is fine. The kid isn't going to call it "time out" just because you do! Those parents will suddenly find people extra suspicious when the kid finally says hit or spank, as it'll be clear they are hitting their child and trying to hide it. They'll deserve whatever scrutiny they're placed under when the time comes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And one day the child will realize saying "time out" doesn't get a response from strangers but saying "hit me" will. It's not like people only use one word for something - if my roommate asks if I want spaghetti for dinner, I might say that pasta is fine. The kid isn't going to call it "time out" just because you do! Those parents will suddenly find people extra suspicious when the kid finally says hit or spank, as it'll be clear they are hitting their child and trying to hide it. They'll deserve whatever scrutiny they're placed under when the time comes.

This. Children aren't as stupid as fundies think.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Children aren't as stupid as fundies think.

True, but once they start calling everything in codewords to prevent their children from successfully communicating with the outside world, they're not going to stop with one word. It's cult behaviour.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ugh, the worst part of those comments for me is the way everyone responds to a commenter named Kelley who says she is having trouble with her 4 y/o & 2 y/o and doesn't spank.

Gina September 9, 2012 at 2:50 am

Kelly, do not wait until you read a book, or 10 books, before you begin to spank. Do it today. I would suggest immediately talking to your mother-in-law about the exact way that she handled spanking, as it sounds like she did something right! Also, call a few mommy-friends (now, today) and ask them EXACTLY how they handle spanking. Then begin immediately. Most important, tell your husband this is what you would like to begin doing, get his permission and encouragement, he’s probably not against it as I’m assuming he thinks his parents did a fabulous job disciplining and raising him. Let him tell you how he thinks it should be done and follow his advice. Spanking is handled a little differently in every family. Find out what is effective for yours.

Kelly, the bible is clear about what happens to children who aren’t spanked, the bible tells us exactly what their behavior will be. Do you believe God’s way is best or your way is best?

I can tell you are a sweet and tender-hearted mommy! I can tell that a mommy like you would never go over-board or cross the line. You will probably cry your eyes out the first few times you have to spank your little ones, and that is OK. God will be with you. He only wants what is best for you and your children. God is right there with us in the trenches of parenting!

I’m going to say a little prayer for you as you try and align your discipline with the bible. Read the books suggested, they are wonderful, but don’t put off God’s advice for one more day.

Someone suggests Kelley look to Gentle Christian Moms for advice.

Smockity Frocks September 9, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Don’t Gentle Christian Mothers disdain those of us who spank? That has been my observation.

Jess September 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Yes, Smockity, they do. They are intensely anti-spanking, regardless of how horrible their children behave or how little they themselves even *like* their own children.

Kelley, be very very wary of Gentle Christian Mothers, and if you do decide to take a look, take some time to read through their discipline boards, to see the fruit of the advice you are considering taking. Just a 20-minute perusal of the outcomes and behavioral outbursts there should be enough to convince you to look elsewhere.

Annie September 8, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Sounds like it’s time to start spanking. This is advice from a 7-months pregnant woman with a 5yo, 4yo, and 2yo who NEVER embarrass me in public or laugh at me in private because they KNOW I don’t put up with it for one second. Get thee a wooden spoon, sister!

Rachel September 17, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Well, I typed a long wonderfully well-written post – and lost it! I just wanted to chime in to encourage you to hang in there – Gal. 6:9 applies to child training for sure! Also wanted to share a verse that really helped me when I was struggling to spank effectively. I was SO afraid of bruising! My husband found Prov 20:30 for me (“Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart. (Proverbs 20:30 NKJV)â€) and it really helped me see that even if I did accidentally bruise my child, the long-term benefit of learning self-control through obedience FOR HER was worth the short-term soreness. I still reflect on this verse whenever I’m dealing with a strong-willed child…

Smockity Frocks September 8, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Also wanted to say a firm and uncomfortable thump on the hand will do a lot to dissuade bad behavior if given swiftly and consistently.

Ugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On the contrary, close examination of the fate of Solomon's child (beat your kid is one of HIS little bits of priceless advice, isn't it?) and kingdom (no surprise, he ran it in the same way he presumably raised his son) shows in no uncertain terms that spanking is definitely not the way to go.

I'll leave looking up the story as an exercise for the reader, you really won't be disappointed.

As far as "call it a time-out, lol!" goes, isn't lying one of those sin thingies? Isn't a lying tongue an abomination unto The Lord? (Oh yes it is, I just now looked it up.) Admittedly, lots of things are abominations unto The Lord, and some of them seem a bit strange to me, but lying really does pull apart the fabric of society, mixed fibers or otherwise. And it's *their* holy book. Shouldn't they be taking it seriously?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought this one was particularly scary...

Well, I typed a long wonderfully well-written post – and lost it! I just wanted to chime in to encourage you to hang in there – Gal. 6:9 applies to child training for sure! Also wanted to share a verse that really helped me when I was struggling to spank effectively. I was SO afraid of bruising! My husband found Prov 20:30 for me (“Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart. (Proverbs 20:30 NKJV)â€) and it really helped me see that even if I did accidentally bruise my child, the long-term benefit of learning self-control through obedience FOR HER was worth the short-term soreness. I still reflect on this verse whenever I’m dealing with a strong-willed child…

Evil bitch has convinced herself to leave bruises on her child

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like it’s time to start spanking. This is advice from a 7-months pregnant woman with a 5yo, 4yo, and 2yo who NEVER embarrass me in public or laugh at me in private because they KNOW I don’t put up with it for one second. Get thee a wooden spoon, sister!

It's just so pathetic that this woman gets a righteous sense of her own importance by beating little children. She feels special because children don't dare laugh at her. I wonder if her headship embarrasses her and laughs at her--but she can't beat him, so she takes it out on her own children. It's sickening. A normal, sane woman who hadn't been twisted by the patriarchy would accept normal, childish behavior in public as an expression of the child's current state of development--not as a reflection on her status. She'd respond appropriately and sensibly, then move on. And wouldn't it be nice if her kids didn't "laugh at her in private" (and what does that even mean?) because they love her, not because they're afraid of being hit with a stick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The part that I hate is where she says that the woman might cry the first couple of times she spanks, but she will eventually get over it. For such christian people, you would think they could understand that the big guy gave them instincts for a reason! These people should not be able to procreate. :x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's no excuse in my book for beating a child, but I think the thing that creeps me out is that one is supposed to administer the beating with a calm, if not joyful demeanor and no show of anger. That, IMO, smacks of sadism. And the visual it brings to mind is the scene from Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange," where Alex croons "Singing in the Rain" while gleefully kicking and clubbing his victim. I really can't see much difference between that and the kind of "discipline" fundies seem to thrive on.

What beating your child gets you is a child who's afraid of everything and really can't determine right from wrong because it's never been explained. I remember one girl from my childhood who came from a strict Catholic family where the father had no qualms about swinging the belt for every infraction, major or minor. No explanations needed; you pissed off Dad, now you're gonna get it. In consequence, this girl was almost incapable of making a decision and she would visibly flinch if someone made a sudden move, no matter what the context, because she fully expected to be hit. I guess that would make her the model child in Fundiedom. How sad.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The whole "my child laughs at me in private" thing in that comment really freaked me out. Jr laughs at me every day - he takes great joy in me spilling mustard on my shirt or dropping something. He will then go to school the next day and tell all of his friends "my mom had the dropsies!!!" and laugh his ass off. It's part of his personality, he's a funny guy. It's never mean spirited or hurtful, he just gets a kick out of people doing funny/silly things.

I think maybe this might be something else, because she says "in private", so maybe when she's pulling out her christian bullshit spanking disclipline whatever maybe the kid is questioning her? Maybe the kid is laughing at her when she spanks him/her because she's fed up with the cultish BS and is rebelling? The wording of her comment was just strange to me.

Either way, she's an abusive cultish christian freak. Just my 2 cents!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fundies are so stupid. The rod in "spare the rod" refers to a shepherding crook, not a rod for beating. They are so bad at understanding metaphor.

This I agree but it wont stop them as they can twist everything in the bible to suit themselves.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This I agree but it wont stop them as they can twist everything in the bible to suit themselves.

But unfortunately the Bible does make reference to beating children. It's disgusting, but it's true.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's bad enough that these fundies are seemingly unable to raise children without hitting them; but to be hitting them so hard that they leave bruises? What sickos.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've read Smockity Frocks before, and somehow I completely missed that she was a fundie. (doh!) Now I'm going to look at her blog through a different lens.

The way she and the others discuss spanking and disdain parents who don't disgusts me. Gentle parenting doesn't mean horrible children who walk all over you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This I agree but it wont stop them as they can twist everything in the bible to suit themselves.

Wellllllllllllllllllllllll. Proverbs is pretty clear on beating. And leaving stripes. The question is, were they still valid after Jesus fulfilled the law? I doubt it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

True, but once they start calling everything in codewords to prevent their children from successfully communicating with the outside world, they're not going to stop with one word. It's cult behaviour.

Its also a sign of abuse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kelley, be very very wary of Gentle Christian Mothers, and if you do decide to take a look, take some time to read through their discipline boards, to see the fruit of the advice you are considering taking. Just a 20-minute perusal of the outcomes and behavioral outbursts there should be enough to convince you to look elsewhere.

Yeah, I can't imagine any other reason why a board about child discipline would be full of posts about children with behavior problems.

Also, the commenter godlytomatosoup quoted needs a time out from the Internet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't believe people seriously sit around and encourage each other to beat their children. And having a child who acts out a time or two in public doesn't mean anything bad about the child, it means it's a child. The most well-behaved toddler I know has never once been spanked. He'll start to cry and throw a fit, and once he realizes his mom isn't going to give into him, he stops and that's all there is to it, and if that doesn't work, she either takes him to the car or has him sit in his room until he's done throwing the fit. No spanking or yelling required for him to get over it in a few minutes. Bet they didn't think kids could actually behave well without being beaten on a regular basis.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know, I don't even think they care that there are other ways to get to "good kids". They want to hit. Did you read the comments? One crazy assed heifer was practically shaming the mom who (up until then) hadn't been hitting her kids. You'd have thought she had been denying them fruits and veggies for god's sake. It was disgusting.

Everything about the way these people operate, the rituals, the religious brainwashing, everything is disgusting. And the shit about code names? That is just beyond the pale. Getting old is going to be a bitch for some of these people. Especially the one that's rationalizing the bruises she's leaving on her baby.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's no excuse in my book for beating a child, but I think the thing that creeps me out is that one is supposed to administer the beating with a calm, if not joyful demeanor and no show of anger. That, IMO, smacks of sadism. And the visual it brings to mind is the scene from Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange," where Alex croons "Singing in the Rain" while gleefully kicking and clubbing his victim. I really can't see much difference between that and the kind of "discipline" fundies seem to thrive on.

What beating your child gets you is a child who's afraid of everything and really can't determine right from wrong because it's never been explained. I remember one girl from my childhood who came from a strict Catholic family where the father had no qualms about swinging the belt for every infraction, major or minor. No explanations needed; you pissed off Dad, now you're gonna get it. In consequence, this girl was almost incapable of making a decision and she would visibly flinch if someone made a sudden move, no matter what the context, because she fully expected to be hit. I guess that would make her the model child in Fundiedom. How sad.

Hypervigilance--one of the hallmark symptoms of PTSD. What a wretched gift for a child to receive from her own father.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.