Another SOTDRT fail for girls

[ILoveJellybeans]

Its sad how none of these books are about anything other than "grow up and be a perfect wife and have loads of kids".

At least get the girl some fictional books.

[2xx1xy1JD]

:clap:

Back to the book thing, I found "Babywise" on a discount shelf at the used bookstore. I bought it for $1, so no one else would think "hey, let me read this book on how to damage my infant!" I want to burn it, but I'm a librarian, and the thought makes me cringe, even though it deserves it.

It's currently on my shelf. What should I do?

If you have the space, retain it and consider it Exhibit A when someone starts talking about traditional family values. If they mention the Pearls at any point, you have your proof that they are actually supporting the view that babies need to be whipped with plumbing line or they become the Devil's spawn.

I understand the urge the burn the damn thing, but I like the idea of preserving tangible historical records that can't be eliminated with the click of a mouse or suddenly revised to take away the yuck.

[shesinsane]

Why do fundies seem to think men are owed respect due to the fact they were male? Shouldn't respect be earned, not seen as an entitlement? Shouldn't leaders lead by examples, not demand it from their followers? And yet these women seem to think it's their job to grovel at their husband's feet, to train their daughters to do the same for future husbands. If they are so big on sheltering and filtering out guys for their daughters, shouldn't they make sure the man is not is not a petulant child demanding respect due to their maleness? It boogles the mind that there are fundies who buy into such submissive nonsense. They go out of their way to baby the men-childs. If these fundie men withstand a wife who argues back, how do they expect to rise up and lead a nation filled with strong willed females?

God made man in his image, woman was just an afterthought to keep man happy. Patriarchy demands that men are automatically better just for being male.

Fundie men realize they cannot lead a nation filled with strong willed females, they need other men to break their women down to make them conquerable.

Note to the Muggly troll: there are millions of happy marriages out there where Jesus isn't included at all. Just because Christianity solved all your marital problems doesn't mean Christ is required for everyone else to have a happy marriage.

[Burris]

There are many a women out there who have no idea how to respect their husbands. They bitch and whine, nag and pout and berate / belittle their men and treat them like dogs.

I've seen this, but I've also seen it the other way around. Mutual respect is perhaps the most important ingredient in a good marriage - far more so than romantic love: You can respect someone without loving them, after all, but you cannot love someone without respecting them.

Spouses treat each other with respect who don't gainsay or show discourtesy to each other in public. And discourtesy in private is an even more malignant form of cancer that can attack a marriage.

I see it all the time when I am out. They have no idea how to be a wife.

I don't see it all the time. When I do see it, however, there's a fairly even split between women who show disrespect for men and men who show disrespect for women. And even worse, I've seen parents aim some of the most vile and cruel comments at their own children for what I perceive to be mild misbehaviour.

These also tend to be the same people who verbally (and sometimes even physically) abuse check-out employees and wait-staff, among others.

This behavior is by no means exclusive to women. In fact, when it comes to overt and public aggression towards spouses or other people in the vicinity, I've observed that behavior more often among men.

Such individuals – women and men - are extremely immature and require remediation before they can be good at any kind of social interaction, whether that be as neighbors, customers, friends, spouses, or parents.

A wife who knows how to love & respect their man.

Respect and love are not merely feelings but choices – actions. A person who has never seen these virtues modeled for them will be at a distinct disadvantage in marriage. And you are not doing these people any favors by pointing a finger exclusively at women.

My mom was a divorced single woman. I had no idea what a wife was supposed to do when I got married.

In case you're still behind the curve, I can give you a few hints: Simple courtesy is a big one. There is no place in all the world where courtesy matters more than at home. You cannot force your spouse to show it, but you can model that behavior to the benefit of your entire household.

Respect is tightly linked with courtesy. This does not mean you must always agree with your spouse. It does mean, however, that your disagreements are cordial – that is, you should fight fair and without blaming or name-calling; and with the ultimate aim being to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

Before they divorced all I seen was her yelling and screaming at my dad.

In my own case, the reverse was true.

That's all I had to go on as a young bride of 19. The first few months of my marriage I put my husband through hell and treated him like a piece of shit because that's all I knew. Then I became a Christian and slowly began learning how to be a helpmeet to my husband and learning how to respect him and yet not lose my own identity (as many women do).

My husband and I are a team, although we have – by an act of will on my own part; by my own informed choice that I do not expect others to make or even necessarily understand – patterned our marriage after certain Biblical precepts.

That said, however, in overtly egalitarian marriages, where people share the cooking and the cleaning rather than dividing household labor by gender (as is the case at my place), mutual respect is still a key ingredient for marital success. There are plenty of people here with such marriages that have lasted decades because they did the most important thing first: They treated each other like human beings.

Any kind of marriage will fail without that.

Many of the books listed did help with that. Since not all husbands are the same, I took what I needed & left the rest.

...except you seem to believe that most wives - indeed, most women - are the same.

[fundiefan]

I really can't even think of anything coherent to say about that reading list. I am seriously at a loss for words. There are none. None.

[Cran]

Has she ever worded any hopes for her daughters after SODRT? Obviously, they are to marry and have children themselves, but what if that doesn't happen right away, as it seems to be the case with many daughters with this upbringing?

This can't be considered enough schooling to get any kind of further education, even not College Minus... can it?

And we have a new pet fundie? How nice! I'll get out my steamer.

Btw, I am really grateful for many reading recommendations I got on here, as the curriculum I was exposed to was somewhat different, not out of ignorance, but local/language differences. I would have missed out if I had never read A Handmaid's Tale, for example.

[thoughtful]

If you have the space, retain it and consider it Exhibit A when someone starts talking about traditional family values. If they mention the Pearls at any point, you have your proof that they are actually supporting the view that babies need to be whipped with plumbing line or they become the Devil's spawn.

I understand the urge the burn the damn thing, but I like the idea of preserving tangible historical records that can't be eliminated with the click of a mouse or suddenly revised to take away the yuck.

I forgot to mention that I also keep one reference copy of the more popular or historically significant nasty books, so I can quote directly when discussing what is so awful about them.

I have a plastic bin in the garage just for these literary masterpieces.

[eeemkaaayy]

Wait, how old are you? Her daughters are almost 16 and 17.

17, senior in high school.

[Guest Anonymous]

17, senior in high school.

I think you're bright and articulate, but do you know you're violating the ToU? You aren't allowed to be a member here until you're 18.

[pixydust]

So sad no Jane Eyre, To Kill a Mockingbird, Oliver Twist or Little Women. No Tennyson, Shakesphere, Maya Angelou, Dylan Thomas or Sylvia Plath. No Camelot, Narnia, Middle Earth or Hogwarts to imagine. No Laura Ingals, Anne Shirley, Nancy Drew not even a Christy Huddleston.

This!! I was homeschooled, fundie lite, but my mom still believed in books and I read and read! I read those (except Plath), along with Wuthering Heights, Animal Farm, The Catcher in the Rye, The Old Man and the Sea, Frankenstein, Dracula, Gone with the Wind (when I was 10!) among so many others. Oh, and what about reading Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story and writing a 6 page paper comparing the two?

I think I'm going to grab a bottle of wine and crack open "On The Road" in these girls honor.

[Witsec7]

And we have a new pet fundie? How nice! I'll get out my steamer.

I will add a disclaimer, I didn't summon this one up through the smoke of a mesquite fire :lol:

[Loveday]

This!! I was homeschooled, fundie lite, but my mom still believed in books and I read and read! I read those (except Plath), along with Wuthering Heights, Animal Farm, The Catcher in the Rye, The Old Man and the Sea, Frankenstein, Dracula, Gone with the Wind (when I was 10!) among so many others. Oh, and what about reading Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story and writing a 6 page paper comparing the two?

I think I'm going to grab a bottle of wine and crack open "On The Road" in these girls honor.

:) You, too??!! :clap:

[pixydust]

:) You, too??!! :clap:

Haha, yes. My mom bought me the book because she hated the movie and was tired of me watching it. That was the best 10th birthday gift, ever!

[Cran]

Understand and apply:

http://cheezburger.com/6551899904

[Loveday]

Haha, yes. My mom bought me the book because she hated the movie and was tired of me watching it. That was the best 10th birthday gift, ever!

That's hilarious! My mom gave me the book because it was summer and I was bored and she was tired of me whining there was nothing to do whenever I'd finished reading all my library books! She figured 1036 pages would keep me busy for awhile. She was right, I think I read it three times just that summer alone. :lol:

[lemurknits]

:clap:

Back to the book thing, I found "Babywise" on a discount shelf at the used bookstore. I bought it for $1, so no one else would think "hey, let me read this book on how to damage my infant!" I want to burn it, but I'm a librarian, and the thought makes me cringe, even though it deserves it.

It's currently on my shelf. What should I do?

Hollow it out and hide jewelry in it?

[fundies_like_zombies]

One of the bloggers i read posted what she is reading. The family daughter book is on the list.

Lots of posts about the company that makes it sad stuff.

[caito]

Ewww as a mother to a daughter, it makes me want to cry reading that list. If anyone expected my kid to read even ONE of those books I'd be pissed as hell at them.

[Mythicwings]

I give books like that to my rabbits to eat. The bottom shelves in our library have books I want the rabbits to eat, and also cardboard boxes for them to eat so they ignore the next shelves up with non-rabbitey books. My mother sent me that stupid ass freak show of a book by Glenn Beck, where he was trying to be like Thomas Paine, and it went straight into rabbit tummies. I think there is still a substantial stub of it, actually, they didn't seem to like it very much, I had to lterally push it in front of their mouths.

And OH MY GOD Babywise! I have someone who is I guess a friend but she is so unstable and swings from being a meth addict to downing bottles of wine every night to disappearing from our group and reappearing a couple of years later marrying a fundie and knocked up of course the first week, and all she yelled about for the first year or two of her first's life was "Babywise babies do this and Babywise babies are sooo that" and my other friends don't seem to get that her life has become something outrageous, because she keeps sugaring it, the way the Duggars sugarey-up their cult life on the tv show and make it look soooo sweet and adorable. I wasn't sure what was going on with her until she started in on the babywise and also when her husband wanted a puppy - A PUPPY - when of course everyone knows what happens to a lot of puppies of families with tiny kids once the puppy becomes an adolescent, and I begged her not to get that puppy but she said her husband was the head and so it was up to him. I was seriously like WTF> This was from a woman who used to just boast how she could verbally beat people up and no one would tell her what to do. I don't know WHAT the hell happened to make her so happily submissive.

whoops that was a personal rant, sorry. I just friggen hate Babywise with all the suns of our galaxy and more and hate her hypocrisy that I alone recognize because no one else in our group was raised like that.

[CrazySister]

whoops that was a personal rant, sorry. I just friggen hate Babywise with all the suns of our galaxy and more and hate her hypocrisy that I alone recognize because no one else in our group was raised like that.

That's what I love about FJ: I can find people who detest Ezzo BS just as much as I do!

[Mythicwings]

That's what I love about FJ: I can find people who detest Ezzo BS just as much as I do!

:) :) :) It's such a relief.

[Mela99]

Lies Women Believe.... ohh i kinda want to know, and I kinda don't...

[mpheels]

I read a lot as a kid/teen. Actually, reading is one of the things that kept me out of trouble (along with marching band). I never had time to get in serious mischief because I had my nose in a book all the time. Thinking about the books I read, and how much I learned from them, that list makes me sad.

[anniebgood]

I was just at a friends of the library book sale and my daughter and I were looking at the classics that were for sale. It astounded me how many of the books she had read in high school and in college and just for fun. She loves F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jane Austen, The Bronte sisters and so many others.

I weep when I see the pitiful books that this woman has chosen for her children. Books that will never ignite the magic of wishing and dreaming and eventually obtaining. Had I not read a mystery about Rome as a teenager, I would have never gone to see the Moses in Chains at San Pietro en Vincoli. Books are the gateway to life.

And to Ms Muggle, how old are you and how long have you been married? There are times and places to bitch at your husband and times to praise him.

[Mommy22alyns]

Ewww as a mother to a daughter, it makes me want to cry reading that list. If anyone expected my kid to read even ONE of those books I'd be pissed as hell at them.

This. I'm not feeding my girls that bullshit.