Another baby in a bathroom :(

[BlondeAgent007]

The only thing I see being "cherished" and "loved" in this situation is their fertility. I wouldn't feel like either of those things being an older sibling if I was forced to go back to sharing ONE bathroom with TEN people again so my mom and dad would be able to have more blessings. Even though she claimed they wouldn't use it, in a house that size? You bet your ass at least once a day someone is going to run down to the other one if the line is too long. Even the Duggars at their worst had a bathroom ratio of 9:1

[CrazySister]

Sticking baby in the bathroom to sleep is something that would never, ever occurred to me.

Yup, never even crossed my mind until I came here and saw the first bathroom baby blogger (no clue who). I always wonder if they consider drowning a potential issue. They'd probably say something like "it's not like they can turn on the water or open the lid to the toilet" but still, kids are surprising and I'd be scared to death of leaving my baby ALONE in the bathroom, let alone it cross my mind that "hey, checkout this bathtub; it's perfect! Let's put the most helpless of our kids in HERE!"

[ilovetchotchkes]

One of the reasons we're not having any more kids is because we have a 3 bedroom house. Sure, we could do bunk beds, but there gets a point where there reaches "critical mass"

But according to this lady, I can just chuck a baby in a bathroom. Hmm. I have a bathroom STALL in my basement! (its an old house, previous owners were ancient and weird) I bet I could fit 2 right on top of each other! :D

[CrazySister]

One of the reasons we're not having any more kids is because we have a 3 bedroom house. Sure, we could do bunk beds, but there gets a point where there reaches "critical mass"

But according to this lady, I can just chuck a baby in a bathroom. Hmm. I have a bathroom STALL in my basement! (its an old house, previous owners were ancient and weird) I bet I could fit 2 right on top of each other! :D

Don't be silly! You have plenty of space for at the very least 7 more: triple high bunk beds in both non-parental bedrooms and another triple in the wierd basement br. This is the kinda stuff Costco shelving was MADE for!

[keen23]

My parents did an almost whole house renovation in the late 1980's. During that time, the only parts of the house not involved were the kitchen, bathroom, their bedroom, and the basement under their bedroom. The renovation took place during a very cold spring. The heat was disconnected in the bedroom and basement. The kids were already sleeping in the basement (it was finished, no big deal for a few months). My brother was an infant at the time, and on the coldest nights, he was put in a pack-n-play in the bathroom. But this was because it was the only place in the house that was warm! And, it wasn't a long term solution- it was just the best option amongst crappy options available at the time! He maybe spent 5 nights total in the bathroom. And, three very long months later, the renovation was complete, and we each had our own bedroom.

[lilwriter85]

I can't stand the way she tries to peddle the issue as being about people wanting a fancy nursery.

No dear, that's not the issue. At all.

The issue is that (1) a bathroom really isn't a suitable place for a baby to sleep, since it's not particularly healthy and it's not a safe place for a baby to crawl around when outside the crib, (2) the more obvious solution that many people including myself have used is to keep a baby with the parents until they no longer need a crib, and (3) kids don't need luxuries, but they do need parents who are reasonably responsible and committed to meeting their legitimate needs.

This.

[NurseNell]

They were trying to adopt two Russian brothers who were HIV+. Fortunately the Russian authorities said no, based on their home study. Where were they going to put these 2 little boys? A bathroom isn't big enough for 3 kids. :shock:

[lilwriter85]

I'm glad they were turned down when they tried to adopt. I think they will get turned down again if they to adopt in the future. Out of all the fundies, who have adopted or have tried to adopt, the only one that seems ok is Brianna the Catholic fundie blogger.

[YPestis]

This isn't a third world country, parents should not try to make their kids Iive by that standard. While a crib in the bathroom for night time isn't the worst place to put a sleeping infant, I feel fundie parents just tell critics that kids in poor countries don't even have the luxury of cribs or running water. If you have so many kids that they recovert back to developing world standard, it's time to rethink the birth control thing.

[terranova]

It annoys me when they delete posts. If you don't have the courage to stand up to your beliefs, why have them at all?

[terranova]

I see she has two special needs children and was attempting to adopt a Russian HIV+ boy (and possibly his sibling) but the Russians turned her down.

I know she has one special needs son, not sure about two. To give her credit Thomas seems to have a lot of therapy and assistance and she hasn't shyed away from getting him the help he needs.

[ADoyle90815]

I'm glad their adoption was turned down, as the worst place for an HIV+ child would be the bathroom, especially with what happens when a toilet is flushed. The other issue is as mentioned with the other Bathroom Baby, in the event of fire, the last place firefighters are going to look for a child is in the bathroom.

[BelieveinScience]

I see she has two special needs children and was attempting to adopt a Russian HIV+ boy (and possibly his sibling) but the Russians turned her down.

A lot of countries have regulations on how many people in your familyi you're allowed to have They could have been turned down just based on that. Or on the income requirements.

http://reecesrainbow.org/new-family/income-requirements

[EmmieJ]

I actually knew a lady who lived in a small two bedroom apartment and actually slept in the living room on a pull-out sofa bed, while the two children (boy and girl) got one of the small bedrooms each. Their arrangement actually worked out quite well!

When my son was an infant, I worked from my home doing office work. One bedroom was my son's, and the other was my office. So I slept on a pull out sofa in the living room. I did this for about a year, and it worked out just fine. Under no circumstance could I see myself using the bathroom as a sleep area for any one. Yeah, good tip read earlier: if you are out of room, don't have any more kids. Yikes - clearly you can't afford any more children once you start bedding them down in a bathroom.

[Witsec7]

When my son was an infant, I worked from my home doing office work. One bedroom was my son's, and the other was my office. So I slept on a pull out sofa in the living room. I did this for about a year, and it worked out just fine. Under no circumstance could I see myself using the bathroom as a sleep area for any one. Yeah, good tip read earlier: if you are out of room, don't have any more kids. Yikes - clearly you can't afford any more children once you start bedding them down in a bathroom.

My DD got the bedroom when I separated from her father. I slept on the floor in the LR, until I could trade a pressure canner for a futon couch.

[emmiedahl]

For a while my mother slept on the couch to accommodate our relatively large family.

When there are sacrifices to be made, there are two choices. Either all of the family splits the sacrifice, or the adults do it all. Letting children sleep in a bathroom while adults have a nice big bed is not an option.

I bet if she had to sleep on a thin porta-mattress in a restroom, she would see it as a sign her family was too crowded and stop having children. But it is easy to ignore sub-human conditions when you are the one inflicting them and not the one living them.

[NurseNell]

For a while my mother slept on the couch to accommodate our relatively large family.

When there are sacrifices to be made, there are two choices. Either all of the family splits the sacrifice, or the adults do it all. Letting children sleep in a bathroom while adults have a nice big bed is not an option.

I bet if she had to sleep on a thin porta-mattress in a restroom, she would see it as a sign her family was too crowded and stop having children. But it is easy to ignore sub-human conditions when you are the one inflicting them and not the one living them.

Yes, I believe it should be the parents who make the sacrifices.

I was surprised when I recently moved and had to spend 2 nights sleeping on the L.R. floor how comfortable it was! I slept better than I had in months. The only hard thing was getting up off the floor at my age. Uffda, not easy.

[fundiefan]

I'm not sure any god knows what he or she is doing if he gives more kids than can be taken care of to a family without common sense. Any family that would think bathroom=bedroom needs to have the womb closed. Did god really send down a new kid, knowing he'd end up sleeping in the bathroom? Really? He works that way?

[ShesCrafty]

My oldest sister is the most self-centered, narcissistic person I have ever known, to the point she probably meets the criteria for a personality disorder. When she divorced her husband, all she could afford was a two-bedroom apartment and even she gave the bedrooms to her son and daughter and slept on a daybed in the living room. While I think she did this more to feel like a martyr and project the image of being a selfless mother than because it was the right thing to do, there was never any thought of sticking my niece or nephew in the bathroom to sleep. These people are freakin' insane.

[Cerdwin]

I have never thought to use the word 'cosy' to describe a bathroom. I can imagine this kid growing up feeling like a second class citizen because he didn't get abed in an actual bedroom. :( poor kid.

[Cherokee2000]

I was surprised when I recently moved and had to spend 2 nights sleeping on the L.R. floor how comfortable it was! I slept better than I had in months. The only hard thing was getting up off the floor at my age. Uffda, not easy.

I once spent the majority of a night sleeping on the bathroom floor. I had the worst flu ever, and I decided that rather than running back and forth from bedroom to bathroom every time I had to puke, I would just curl up on the bathroom floor. It wasn't too bad! Maybe even sort of "cosy." The house I was living in had carpeting in the bathroom (not recommended in general, but that night it was a godsend), and I covered myself up with a nice bath towel.

OK, though, it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, not a place to put your newborn baby to sleep/live!!

[MrsKay]

I'm another spoiled bitch - being the only girl, I always had my own room growing up, and if we only had two bedrooms, Mom and Dad took the pullout couch. I remember Mom sleeping on those hard gym mats in one place, the last time we left my Dad - she was only able to get one bed, and someone gave her those. It was just me and her, so she gave me the bed. I did sleep on a fold-out cot in the kitchen once, for a month or two; we had a couple staying with us who had a newborn, the wife was disabled, and they had nowhere to go, and there was absolutely no way my parents could take the living room in that house (the living room was TINY). The kitchen was the biggest room, so I had a little nook in there. I actually thought it was a lot of fun, particularly since the trade-off was a newborn around the house, but I would have hated to do it long-term.

We have a 2 bedroom apt. now; GirlKay lives with her dad's family, BoyKay has a bedroom, and ToddlerKay is still in his crib in our room. I just prefer to keep him with me until he's sleeping through the night a bit better. I can't understand why they find it impossible to keep a baby in the bedroom - even if you want to have sweet fellowship, a newborn in a crib/bassinet isn't going to know the difference. (Once they get older, obviously you need to get your groove on somewhere else, but that's not your kids' problem.) ToddlerKay will go into the other room with BoyKay probably this winter, and we'll have a room to ourselves, until/unless we have another. In that case, we'll be looking for a bigger place when the baby is ready to move out of our room. I've never even dreamed of putting a baby in a bathroom. A baby/toddler can drown in a toilet or a few inches of water - do they assume God will prevent their kids from ever climbing out of the playpen? To say nothing of germs...

[Katiebug]

Although I don't really think twice about a baby in a bathroom, I imagine a lot of people would think... "Although we'd like to, we can't have another child because...

We don't have enough room.

We can't afford it.

There's nowhere to put a nursery..."

Honestly, when we had Ford, I wasn't really sure where we'd put him. But a new life is not about a nursery. It's not about fluffy crib skirts and matching bumper pads. It's not about cute little lamps and pictures on the wall. None of these things is bad...

but if it's the thing that stops you from giving life to another little God-image-bearing creature to love and to cherish...

Well, don't let that stop you.

No, we're not giving life to another little God-image-bearing creature to love and cherish quite yet because unlike this wingnut, we're actually concerned with ensuring that we can feed, clothe, and otherwise properly care for more than one child. Making a pretty nursery has absolutely nothing to do with it, but having a safe crib, appropriate car seats, and affording good quality child care certainly does!

When we have a second child, they'll be sharing a bedroom for a while after the baby moves out of our room. Two of our bedrooms are upstairs, one is on the main level, and we currently use the main level bedroom as a family/play room. Why give that up when the nursery is a good size and could comfortably house two young children? I also don't want a potty training toddler/preschooler on her own overnight a floor away from us. I really have no issues at all with two children sharing a (legal/code-compliant) bedroom, even up to and through the teen years, but at some point cramming children into rooms becomes a safety issue. The thought of putting my child to bed in a bathroom just creeps me out so much. I'd give up our room and we'd sleep on a couch before having our kid sleeping next to a toilet. Apparently toilets are enough of a safety risk to babies and toddlers that our pediatrician advised us to either put a gate across the bathroom door or to use a toilet latch in the bathroom upstairs.

This couple has EIGHT kids with two of them having special needs. It sounds like the 3 year old has pretty significant challenges and delays and yet they've kept right on popping out two more kids since his birth (definitely the most recent was conceived well after they had the diagnosis and knew it was a genetic condition). The young son has an X-linked disorder causing pretty significant intellectual disabilities and if I read it right, their daughters are all carriers and their sons have a 50/50 chance of being affected. Personally with odds like that I'd STOP having kids (she has eight!) or if we had only one or two kids and wanted one or two more we'd do IVF and only transfer female embryos. IMO, once you have kids with special needs, their lifelong issues need to be taken into consideration when choosing to add further to that family. That doesn't mean you have to stop having children, just that it needs to be more reasoned than, "We want another baby, so we're having one!"

For the earlier poster who asked, a quick Google turned up that the Mr. of the family does accounting or contract management for a defense contractor (you can determine which one fairly easily). His LinkedIn profile has a picture that looks just like the ones on the blog, so I'm pretty sure it's the same guy.

She seems pretty pissed and has made comments on her blog members-only.

[Diana]

She has beautiful children.

I think it would be better more bunk beds that sleeping in a bathroom. I can understand sharing a bedrom with a lot of siblings if you have a small house, but this is just unhealthy.

And why the baby didnt just sleep in the same room as the parents?

[terranova]

I'm another whos parents slept in the lounge so their kids could have a bedroom. For several years. I don't think it would ever have crossed their minds to have anyone sleep in the bathroom, it wouldn't have been big enough, or practical or sanitary!