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The New Holy Bible is a giant washing sink. The Mortal Sins.


Mark Dreher

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The New Holy Bible is a giant washing sink.

 

 

 

It removes all the filth from you.

 

Cleans you up.

 

Makes you run parallel to the bible.

 

And that gets you into Heaven.

 

There are only four real "mortal sins".

 

The worst sins.

 

They are worse than murder.

 

 

 

 

If you are a pro-choice baby stomper.

 

That is "mortal sin" which will preclude your admittance into Heaven.

 

If you support homosexual perverts.

 

That is "mortal sin" which will preclude your admittance into Heaven.

 

If you do not say an original and unique grace prayer before every meal.

 

That is "mortal sin" which will preclude your admittance into Heaven.

 

If you do not find your butt in a Protestant church pew at least once a week.

 

That is "mortal sin" which will preclude your admittance into Heaven.

 

 

 

 

Millennium baby.

 

 

It is time to be good.

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Sorry Mark, but you're wrong. Here's something a bit closer to the truth:

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." -- Ezekiel 16:49

ETA: Oh, and Mark -- I'm genuinely curious as to what you think of this guy.

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I propose a new way to deal with trolls. We had to be "PG" back on Yuku. Now this is NO FUCKING HOLDS BARRED! No more favorite nailpolish!

I propose:

1 - Favorite Sexual Positions

2 - Favorite masterbatory toys

3 - Same sex lust stories

That should scare away the trolls pretty quick!

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I heard gossip that Diana Agron from Glee is bi or a lesbian based on her "I like girls" shirt she wore during a Glee concert. I would so wreck that if given a chance.

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Hey, does this mean I can post my almost masturbating hottie lying on the couch that got me hollered at when I was new? :twisted:

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Prob not. From the rules:

Pornography, nudity, or overtly graphic photographic material or videos on the forum. Links that are clearly labeled "Not Safe for Work" or "NSFW" are allowed. Discussion of sex, sexuality and relationships are allowed and expected.

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an original and unique grace prayer before every meal

Because God has a big database of every grace prayer ever said. I think it's safe to say no one would ever eat again for fear of accidental plagiarism.

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Ah. OK. So, I can talk about his manly, glistening chest heaving with rapturous passion as his hands wander to his bulging, throbbing hard cock while he dreams of making hot, passionate love to me, but I just can't post the picture. :mrgreen:

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Hey, does this mean I can post my almost masturbating hottie lying on the couch that got me hollered at when I was new? :twisted:

It would be courteous to kind of "spoiler" your post and mention it was not NSFW so folks can skip over it if they desire. But we pretty much want to keep the forum at a level that people can read it with the kiddos in the room and not have to worry about them seeing something graphic, and by that I mean both sexual and violent.)

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Ah. OK. So, I can talk about his manly, glistening chest heaving with rapturous passion as his hands wander to his bulging, throbbing hard cock while he dreams of making hot, passionate love to me, but I just can't post the picture. :mrgreen:

Correct! Now, lets translate into a language our troll can understand. :cracking knuckles:

So, I can talk about his manly, crisco covered trunk heaving with holy and appointed rapturous passion and his hands purposed to his bulging, throbbing anaconda while he recieved visions from the lord to make hot, holy, maritally acceptable and in the missionary position only, love to me...

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Correct! Now, lets translate into a language our troll can understand. :cracking knuckles:

So, I can talk about his manly, crisco covered trunk heaving with holy and appointed rapturous passion and his hands purposed to his bulging, throbbing anaconda while he recieved visions from the lord to make hot, holy, maritally acceptable and in the missionary position only, love to me...

BWHAHAHAHA!!!! :angelic-green: :character-beavisbutthead:

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I'm pretty sure the following imagine is safe for work, though not necessarily for sanity:

superhero-babies.jpg

Oh mai. :oops:

I don't know though, I really feel like Clark Kent is way more maternal than Bruce Wayne. I just don't see him carrying the child.

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I think Bruce Wayne would be at a high risk for post partum psychosis.

Also, I am Bruce/Rachel Nolanverse shipper, so that is just wrong.

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This thread needs lots of LOLcats. I need to go figure out how to post those.

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I propose a new way to deal with trolls. We had to be "PG" back on Yuku. Now this is NO FUCKING HOLDS BARRED! No more favorite nailpolish!

I propose:

1 - Favorite Sexual Positions

2 - Favorite masturbatory toys

3 - Same sex lust stories

That should scare away the trolls pretty quick!

I do cover the sex and porn areas pretty well.

Even the best selections for porn sites.

thenewholybible.org/does_god_want_you_to_use_a_mouse.htm

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:shock: I...I...I'd rather see CrackedEggs picture. That's just all kinds of wrong.

And yet...I like the subversiveness...I need to go lie down.

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Sorry Mark, but you're wrong. Here's something a bit closer to the truth:

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." -- Ezekiel 16:49

ETA: Oh, and Mark -- I'm genuinely curious as to what you think of this guy.

Never heard of him and why should I care.

There is only one second coming.

Everyone else is not.

And

Sodom was destroyed because of Sodomy.

There have been two halfway viable "false Christs".

The two "false Christ's" who would falsely declared themselves to be the second coming of Jesus and who then would be destroyed by God along with all of their followers for doing so,

These were David Koresh of the "Waco Massacre"

And Jim Jones of the "Jonestown Massacre".

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So who else uses cloth pads?

Me! I made a few when I was out of commercial pads and low on cash, and I was surprised to discover just how much I preferred them.

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