Amy Duggar is close to getting engaged

[smores]

Not trying to be rude but this is a genuine question for me. Is this a Southern thing, culturally among some females? I have some female friends who live in the Southern U.S. (Texas & Alabama). They're people I would consider smart...just not so ambitious. They're college educated (or working towards it) but it's like the second that ring hit their finger they gave up on everything and never used their degrees. It just seems ridiculously stupid and antiquated to me.

I always thought it was old fashioned to do that! I went to a big college in the south after growing up in the south. I am the only person I know who isn't working outside the home or in grad/professional school out of all the young, college educated, married people I know (quite a few!) and I actually do work from home. (I worked from home before I got married and took a break when I had a kid, then picked it back up a couple of months ago.) And the only reason I get to work my dream job and stay home with my child is because my husband has a great job, which is not common among the married couples I know.

[TinyDancer87]

I actually hope Reed proposes infront of the J-Slaves, then Amy will say yes, and give a big fat kiss on Reed. I want the Duggar girls to know that you can date and be happy, and not be struck down by God by doing so.

[TinyDancer87]

Not trying to be rude but this is a genuine question for me. Is this a Southern thing, culturally among some females? I have some female friends who live in the Southern U.S. (Texas & Alabama). They're people I would consider smart...just not so ambitious. They're college educated (or working towards it) but it's like the second that ring hit their finger they gave up on everything and never used their degrees. It just seems ridiculously stupid and antiquated to me.

I grew up in Tennessee and Texas. Almost all my girlfriends work, regardless of whether they are married or not. The only one I can think of that's not working just had a baby... I'm not sure if she will return or not.

For college I went to Baylor University, which is predominantly for rich white folk. And the ladies did joke of getting their MRS degree. We did have a saying- "Ring before Spring"- which means a lady's goal is to be engaged before graduation. And yes, I knew a lot of girls in my graduating class getting ready for their wedding. But they all got jobs after graduation too.

I'm not sure choosing to not work is a lack of ambition. In today's world, not having to worry about work is a luxery, so maybe it's a way of life that they're striving for.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I was right! This is the "courting".....

[trplaxle]

Pssh...courting....whatever, you know Amy is giving up at least a few 'bases'. lol

[giraffe21]

Does Famy still try to pass this off as courtship even though they go on dates without a "supervisor," and kiss etc? Because I thought I'd heard her relationships called courting not dating on the show a couple of times, but it sounds exactly the same as dating to me... I must be confused.

[xReems]

Famy goes through boyfriends like a toddler goes through toys. All she wants is a ring and that's pretty much it. She reminds me of this one girl I knew in college. This girl was dating my friend for 3-4 years but that broke up afterwards. 6 months later, she surprised everyone by posting a status on facebook on how she's engaged to her "man of the dream" of 2 months. The guy is the complete opposite of her bubbly personality but the reason why she went crazy over him is because he gave her what she wanted--an engagement ring. She's been marriage and baby obsessed since she was 15-16 years old and was willing to let down all her guards to find someone who could give that to her. My friend had no problem marrying her but because he wanted wait a few years to get some money in, she felt that that was a huge problem.

Famy reminds me of that. I think she wants to prove to everyone how she can find someone whom "God has chosen for her" and has gone crazy over it. My boyfriend's older sister became engaged after 7 months of dating but both of them are extremely mature (she's 27 and he's 29) so a 7 month "courtship" wasn't a big deal. Famy is REALLY immature for her age, to the point where I forget that she's older than me by 2 years. I think she's still in the giggly honeymoon phase and refuses to get out of that fairy tale la la phase of the relationship.

[CrazySister]

(snip) I'm not sure choosing to not work is a lack of ambition. In today's world, not having to worry about work is a luxery, so maybe it's a way of life that they're striving for.

Agreed. I have a SIL who did this. She has plenty of ambition and if she were to need to work in order to pay bills I have no doubt she would in a heartbeat. I think for her and many women in her same "class" being able to not work is more of a status thing than a laziness thing.

[Mela99]

Could this be the "courtship" they are pimping in the new series? Cause I don't see a terrible amount of interest in an average American girl marrying her umpteenth boyfriend.

Uggghh, that would suck. And it's not a "courtship". It's ungodly sin. Though I would think it would be hilarious to see the Duggars at a REAL wedding with non-fugly dresses and booze and dancing.

[lilwriter85]

I actually hope Reed proposes infront of the J-Slaves, then Amy will say yes, and give a big fat kiss on Reed. I want the Duggar girls to know that you can date and be happy, and not be struck down by God by doing so.

I would also love if that happened. I think it was either Jessa or Jinger who made some smug comments about dating in that episode that featured Sarah Mally. The J'Slaves would probably clutching their pearls if they witnessed the proposal.

[Mela99]

I would also love if that happened. I think it was either Jessa or Jinger who made some smug comments about dating in that episode that featured Sarah Mally. The J'Slaves would probably clutching their pearls if they witnessed the proposal.

What episode was that? Did they say anything good?

[lilwriter85]

What episode was that? Did they say anything good?

I can't remember the episode number, but it aired last year in July. Sarah Mally, the author of "Before You Meet Prince Charming" visited the Duggar house. Several girls from other fundie families went to the TTH too. Sarah is a 32 year old single woman who promotes courtship and purity. There was interview portion with the four J'Slaves talking about courtship and purity. Jessa or Jinger made the comment that dating women are always dating different guys every week and that it was better for Boob to pick who they court. The J'Slave said it in a very smug manner and I recall Jana wanting to say something, but Jessa or Jinger cut her off.

[roddma]

he's been marriage and baby obsessed since she was 15-16 years old and was willing to let down all her guards to find someone who could give that to her./quote]

I was almost one of them. Though I never planned to marry before 23-25, it was all I could think about . Even main stream society still places tremendous pressure on us to be married. It is especially grounded into a girl's head like no other choice exists. I think the stigma against single/ childless adulthood is slowly breaking.

[Mela99]

They seriously said it was better for their father to pick someone for them? Are those the only two options? Be a total whorebag or have no say and let daddy pick? What happened to letting God lead someone to you?

I get that they want to stay pure or whatever but I'm getting sick of their attitude towards dating. I met my future husband after a handful of relationships and I couldn't be happier. I learned from the others, but just because I dated others doesn't mean I love him less or have less of a heart.

[Minerva]

I hope her marriage is successful, but I don't expect it to be. Which is too bad, because you know the Duggars are going to be smug as fuck about how it proves that dating doesn't work. But it's not because she dated that her marriage will fail, it's because she was so desperate to be a Mrs. that she got engaged to someone after 6 months. If you take the fundy mentality that women exist to be housewives and that you can marry someone you've only known a few months, and remove it from the fundy world where divorce is forbidden, of course you're going to see a divorce in short order. I'm happy for Amy that she's in a long-term relationship that is very healthy and normal, as far as I can tell, but it would set such an awesome example for her cousins if she was working towards a career (which could involve real travel, not just driving to Oklahoma and back). I guess her heart really is into being a country singer, though.

[Coconut Flan]

It's too bad she has set her goal as something so unlikely for her to achieve. The eleven and twelve year olds that I know in choir have better voices than Amy. It's too bad someone hasn't been straight with her.

I don't expect Amy's marriage to last if they rush into it, but I will hope that it does just so Jim Bob can't use it to push his agenda.

[lilwriter85]

I hate to sound mean, but I don't think Amy will ever make it is a major country singer. Her voice isn't extremely great and she doesn't have the right look for Nashville. I think she has tried to use the "Duggar" name around Nashville, but that doesn't have any pull with Music Row execs. Execs and record labels aren't going to care about a Z list reality show family or their niece. One way Amy could get some kind of deal is Boob was to buy stock into one of the smaller record labels in Nashville. I don't see Boob ever doing that.

[muffynbear]

I hate to sound mean, but I don't think Amy will ever make it is a major country singer. Her voice isn't extremely great and she doesn't have the right look for Nashville. I think she has tried to use the "Duggar" name around Nashville, but that doesn't have any pull with Music Row execs. Execs and record labels aren't going to care about a Z list reality show family or their niece. One way Amy could get some kind of deal is Boob was to buy stock into one of the smaller record labels in Nashville. I don't see Boob ever doing that.

Besides lack of Amy's lack of talent, being a performer requires actual work and dedication. Promotion is key. Amy will have to tour for months around the country in a smelly tour bus. Could you see Princess Famy doing that for months on end?

[duplessis3]

Being a SAHM isn't being "lazy." ONe of the smartest women I know, went to CalTech (think MIT but smaller and more competitive - JPL is linked to them) got her ChemE there. She got married, worked until she got pregnant, and has stayed at home ever since. But she is very busy and productive. (Her daughter is at CalTech now.)

[Patsy]

I hate to sound mean, but I don't think Amy will ever make it is a major country singer.

Oh, I don't think she'd ever make it as a minor singer, even a minor local singer.

[weirdghostboo]

Oh, I don't think she'd ever make it as a minor singer, even a minor local singer.

I agree. If you want to become something in the performance industry, you have to be driven. There's a reason why most Broadway actors and actresses tell kids that if you want to be an actor/actress, it has to be "something you can't live without"; aka, you have to be driven to do so, and if you don't have the drive to go out after a few months of being rejected and just stay at home wallowing in your own misery, you're not going to go anywhere. Famy just sits at home or occasionally goes to Oklahoma to see Reed. I wouldn't call that "driven".

[lilwriter85]

I agree with others, Amy doesn't have the drive for a music career. She doesn't perform that much and a lot of aspiring singers will do a lot of small gigs to get their names out. Amy's website is pretty much a joke. She only has mp3 samples up and she has no videos of her performing and her contact info is only listed as the "Amy Duggar Fan Club" and there is no info about bookings. I've watched several realty show music competitions over the years and when I look up info on contestants, I sometimes find dozens of videos of them performing at different types of events like festivals, weddings, proms, corporate events etc. If Amy was driven, she would be trying to book various gigs.

[Sprocket]

Besides lack of Amy's lack of talent, being a performer requires actual work and dedication. Promotion is key. Amy will have to tour for months around the country in a smelly tour bus. Could you see Princess Famy doing that for months on end?

LOL, when did Amy give you a shout out on twitter?!!? That's hilarious!

[Minerva]

I agree with others, Amy doesn't have the drive for a music career. She doesn't perform that much and a lot of aspiring singers will do a lot of small gigs to get their names out. Amy's website is pretty much a joke. She only has mp3 samples up and she has no videos of her performing and her contact info is only listed as the "Amy Duggar Fan Club" and there is no info about bookings. I've watched several realty show music competitions over the years and when I look up info on contestants, I sometimes find dozens of videos of them performing at different types of events like festivals, weddings, proms, corporate events etc. If Amy was driven, she would be trying to book various gigs.

If she just put booking info, I'm sure she'd get some requests from leghumpers at the very least. There are people out there who love the Duggars and would have her perform at their events, and unless they're even creepier than we think, I don't see why she's not starting there.

[lilwriter85]

If she just put booking info, I'm sure she'd get some requests from leghumpers at the very least. There are people out there who love the Duggars and would have her perform at their events, and unless they're even creepier than we think, I don't see why she's not starting there.

I agree, if she had booking info, she could get some business from the leghumpers who live in Arkansas or even in nearby states. i just don't see Amy being the type to ride around in a van with a band to gigs.