Meet Hellena and Currawong

[heinz57]

holy hell, I have never, ever laughed so hard over anything on the internet ever.

And this is just a brief summary in English. Just wait to hear it all in Frisian! It's full-blooded (and I don't only mean about the language)

[OkToBeTakei]

Had to google Frisian. Not sure why she goes on about that. It is a lovely part of the world. But so is where she lives.

I should probably stop taking the piss out of this poor creature. But as somebody said on this board earlier ...I am also 'live and let live.' Until you drag your kids into the insanity.

Saying that. I would rather somebody take the piss out of me than pity me.

The, they don't understand me and are jealous. Just about the only knee-jerk answer there ever is when you probably know in your non-stoned moments it's actually not all that great. Hey ho.

2.40am. I is sorry for the crappy grammar.

[MrsKay]

I may actually purchase that grover blue thing. I could add deely boppers to it and run around on Halloween saying "Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh, Yip yip yip yip Uh-Huh"

For you noobs that are too wet behind the ears to have viewed 1980's Sesame Street.

I have no idea why, but those guys scared the everloving shit out of me when I was a kid. :shock:

[Koala]

Hey quick, one of you go open a blog. Make sure it's public. Extra points if you talk about the dangerous situations you put yourself and your kids in. Even better if you are living in filth. If they are uneducated you win the effing internetz (I spell it that way because I'm on the cutting edge of spelling here).

Next step: I'm going to comment on the crazy and you get the honor of labeling me a "cyber bully". Work for you?

:roll: New post. I haven't read the whole thing because you know, I've got places to be...today. And reading all of that would mean I couldn't leave the house until at least next Wed. Cause it is long. :shock: http://spunoutpost.blogspot.com/2012/09/trolls-pixies-and-other-archetypes.html

You do get a teaser though. She uses this phrase:

complete uniqueness of my snowflake

If there is a vote, I would prefer being a pixie over a troll. I want it spelled "picksee" though. Hope that's okay with everyone. ;)

[Patsy]

You do get a teaser though. She uses this phrase:

complete uniqueness of my snowflake

Koala. Koala no. No Koala. No. It is too fucking amazing.

[Koala]

Koala. Koala no. No Koala. No. It is too fucking amazing.

Listen, she was ling her a off before we even knew the internetz was a thing. She can be a snowflake if she wants. :lol:

[JesusFightClub]

I guess the first time I started really seeing the organizing of packs of trolls like blood hounds on the trail of a fox, was around the mainstream turn away from homebirthing as an acceptable option.

Er, what? The intrawebz and homebirthing, inexplicably linked by a dangling umbilical cord, until they were cruelly chewed asunder...(I don't like where this metaphor is going :lol: )

Seriously, that's like me saying "I wore a pair of pants two days in a row. Strangely, this was around the time Osama bin Laden got killed."

The Tall Poppy who ran the gauntlet of the snapping hyena’s and survived to bloom.

Hyena's what? And I thought my metaphor was bad. So this is a running flower menaced by snapping hyenas...she must have found a good dealer before she typed this one up.

I’ve had a chance to revisit my school yard bullying and realize that I’m finally free of its tendrils.

I, um, suspect you are not.

Seriously, one snarky thread on the net and it destroys her? I've had far worse than that and I'm not particularly thick skinned. I just laughed. It's not the same as bullying in your schooldays. There you're trapped in an environment you can't leave and you're a child without much in the way of life experience. As an adult with strong beliefs, the ball game changed. You also have the maturity to realise if you don't want people to point and laugh, don't discuss your and partner's sex life, complete with nude pics and graphic detail, on the net. That's not being a tall poppy, or brave and unique. That's being either bloody stupid or trying for a porn career.

[Patsy]

Okay, I'm back. I may never be the same again, but I am back.

Here's my second-favourite bit of the post:

complete strangers ripping every detail I’d written [...] to shreds

Not possible. This post, alone, came in at 4000 words.

Oh, and she mentions that the thread ragged on her kids, which it didn't. I'm really sick of people responding with "STOP CRITICISING MY CHILDREN" to "you do not give your black daughters black dolls"*, "Brighton is a weird name"**, and "the kids have lice, your lifestyle is unfair to them, and they will end up unemployable"***. No, it's not them we're criticising.

* viewtopic.php?f=8&t=12036&p=350988#p350988

** viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11521&p=366285#p366285

*** this thread, and Hellena's response that Koala linked

[Koala]

Love that her sister is just a big cry baby for whining when her step father fondled her "too much", but her sister bloggers are being "victimized" when someone comments on their public fuckery. Beautiful.

[Koala]

Okay, I'm back. I may never be the same again, but I am back.

Here's my second-favourite bit of the post:

Not possible. This post, alone, came in at 4000 words.

Oh, and she mentions that the thread ragged on her kids, which it didn't. I'm really sick of people responding with "STOP CRITICISING MY CHILDREN" to "you do not give your black daughters black dolls"*, "Brighton is a weird name"**, and "the kids have lice, your lifestyle is unfair to them, and they will end up unemployable"***. No, it's not them we're criticising.

* viewtopic.php?f=8&t=12036&p=350988#p350988

** viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11521&p=366285#p366285

*** this thread, and Hellena's response that Koala linked

Yes, unfortunately when we say "you're a shitty parent for completely neglecting your children" they hear "you have shitty kids".

[ExCatholic]

No she did not claim to be a speshul snowflake. No. No come on no way.

The holier(hippier?)-than-thou is strong with this one. Yes honey you're a unique snowflake, just like all the other snowflakes in the world. Know what's funny about snowflakes? One on their own isn't worth crap. Takes a whole bunch of snowflakes working together to build something. Yes I know you hate work, but our collective snowballs are tired of letting you cling to the fringes to survive. Either get to being part of the snowman or get out.

Edited to add: does anyone else see the irony in her admitting to being one of the first waves of cyber bullies? The whole first part of her rant is about how she would gang up with others and purposely piss off people online.

[Esther]

Man, this is a special one.

Hellena:

Please figure out what "bullying" is. I am sorry you experienced bullying in your school days - no kid should. But a bunch of strangers on the Internet commenting on your life choices on a forum completely unconnected to you or your life does not bullying make. You're not interested in what we have to say? Stay away from FJ, and voila - you don't ever have to think about us again!

Or maybe, alternatively, you could have an honest look at your life and choices and wonder if maybe, just maybe, we're a little bit right, too. After all, you may call this bullying, but I hope you noticed how this thread actually included a whole lot of concern, too - concern for you, because of your childhood and teenage experiences, and concern for your kids, their health, their education, their abilities to deal with the real world. In short, we are not the monsters you are making us out to be. If you get off on acting the big victim, feel free, but don't pretend you're being honest or fair.

Also, and I say this as someone from the general Low Countries area, stop calling yourself Fries. You may be of Fries descent, but you or your kids are not "full-blooded Frisian." Full-blooded, it does not mean what you think it means.

[Wolfie]

Seriously, one snarky thread on the net and it destroys her? I've had far worse than that and I'm not particularly thick skinned. I just laughed. It's not the same as bullying in your schooldays. There you're trapped in an environment you can't leave and you're a child without much in the way of life experience. As an adult with strong beliefs, the ball game changed. You also have the maturity to realise if you don't want people to point and laugh, don't discuss your and partner's sex life, complete with nude pics and graphic detail, on the net. That's not being a tall poppy, or brave and unique. That's being either bloody stupid or trying for a porn career.

This.

I've been threatened to be reported for animal abuse (from the types that think letting an animal breed is abuse), and while I don't hide that I do breed those animals- my name comes up in a google for them- I do limit just how much information I put online. I've deleted stuff on my FB and pretty much only stuff that A- is about breeding or butchering animals, or B- has stuff to do with my job, and otherwise friends are allowed to post their opinion. I've never had the authorities called on me, even though they've threatened, but friends have. Generally they just show up, laugh and leave and the accusations of abuse. I just don't need the stress of it. However, the threats don't make me sit in a corner and cry bully- when in my case it is much more bullying than this is. It is life.

Too much sharing will allow these things to happen.

[happy atheist]

The fox is hurt and wounded, and asks why this is happening, and can’t you see my humanity and respect me? 

Can you see the humanity of the fox?

Uh oh! I feel cyber bullied:

In light of that, a small group of people who need to hurt others to make themselves feel better, ripping my blog to shreds on an unremarkable forum, is almost a fair price to pay.  Especially as one of their favourite sports is to attack people like a woman who’s lost her child, or families that are grieving, their company and lack of admiration is not a huge loss.

[heinz57]

Oh, for crying out loud. I read through the whole sermon and my eyes are bleeding.

I’ve observed that people become what they hate. And if indeed many cyber bullies do this because they were themselves bullied and hated it, they are a beautiful example of this. And are simply performing what they’ve been taught in many stratas.

Listen woman, nobody is bullying you. People are snarking and/or expressing concern for the questionable choices you make. No, I was never bullied. Yes, I've been criticized for stupid things I said or did. Who hasn't.

How perfectly full of yourself you must be to put all of your life on display and expect only applause.

Also, it's pretty clear you love drowning us with your words that you're increasingly happy with your crafting of (your wording not mine), but my guess is your posts would be less snark-worthy if you limited the verbal diarrhea and learned some editing. Don't change your metaphors as you go. If the metaphor doesn't fit, then it's not a good metaphor. Here is what I mean:

Through my birthing experiences, I’ve been interconnected on lots of birthing and midwifery sites, and I guess the first time I started really seeing the organizing of packs of trolls like blood hounds on the trail of a fox, was around the mainstream turn away from homebirthing as an acceptable option.

The fox is hurt and wounded, and asks why this is happening, and can’t you see my humanity and respect me?

And paradoxically, overarching all these mammalian herd dwelling goings on, and shovings, and bullyings, and harrasments of the fringe, while we fluff all our feathers and try to find comfortable, recognizable, and friendly nests and heart homes, there’s this other thing that’s happening.

The Tall Poppy who ran the gauntlet of the snapping hyena’s and survived to bloom.

See, I read this, and my mind shows me a very funny image of a human fox covered with feathers that is a tall poppy. This is just bad writing and graphomania (in Kundera's sense).

You claim to be an artist, so maybe you should learn to handle criticism. Not every negative comment is bullying.

Love and hate are flipsides of the coin, and for all those people so drawn to hating me anonymously online – I know they really deep down are loving me, otherwise they wouldn’t even bother to notice or mention.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I neither hate or love you. I just find you amusing.

[heinz57]

Oh, and she's also the inventor (sorry, creatrix) of the internet acronyms.

I was one of the first on IRC, developing LOL and ROFL and ROFLMAO and the rest, that took a while to seep into the internet mainstream.

I'm sure she was also the first person ever to use a smiley.

[MonkeyMomma]

Love that her sister is just a big cry baby for whining when her step father fondled her "too much", but her sister bloggers are being "victimized" when someone comments on their public fuckery. Beautiful.

Yeah, but, that was just her step father. This is a whole pack of dark pixie huntresses destroying her ... wait, what were we talking about again?

:roll:

I've also decided that if I'm going to be a dark pixie, my new name is Primativa Mamman Rainbow Snowflake Do-Om.

[heinz57]

I've also decided that if I'm going to be a dark pixie, my new name is Primativa Mamman Rainbow Snowflake Do-Om.

I think mine will be Temherte Slaqî Fruitcake Quark!

[thoughtful]

Love that her sister is just a big cry baby for whining when her step father fondled her "too much", but her sister bloggers are being "victimized" when someone comments on their public fuckery. Beautiful.

This.

Oh, and Hellena, if you are reading (and I bet you are, because I suspect that, for you, "It's all about MEEEEEEE!" trumps "I am above all that"), here's another voice saying:

- I am sympathetic about the horrible events in your childhood.

- some combination of that sadness and your natural personality seems to have led to a life of caroming back and forth between extremes, which may not be healthy.

- I would never insult your lovely children -- I am just concerned about them.

- if you brush off the fact that your step-father fondled your sister's breasts, people will be shocked -- most people don't dismiss child abuse as harmless.

- if you write at great length, with made-up words and bad grammar, in a place so public that the entire world can read it, you may get some criticism of your writing.

- if you make items that have no practical purpose as clothing, show the world how they have been exposed to high levels of filth, then try to sell them for hefty prices, you may get some criticism of your art and ethics.

- if all adult members of a family refuse to work, but still expect others to support them, you might get some criticism of your life, and concern for your children.

That's not bullying, that's observation of reality.

[Witsec7]

Last night, still drunk on platypus lactate, I started a bale fire so that I could bathe naked under the light of blue moon and revel in the glory that is my womanhood. I painted by body with the saffron of marigold pollen while hearing the screams of the night pixies at war, in battle with the the nutria. With only my roof sitting yeti as company I gazed deep within the flames to see visions of madness and joy, remembrances of cruelty and kindness and the webs of sylvan sheep woven for only me and me alone. I experienced the deep oneness that comes only after the insanity of sucking grails of platypus lactate knowing that in the morning the universe would bring me great pain in my frontal lobe. And somewhere deep within my visions came the sound of mystical chimes and tunes, I struggled to reach the now and realized it my cell phone and my spawn known as Mossfart wishing me the joy of reaching yet another blue moon. With the spell broken and torn I wandered inside the hovel and gazed in wonder at the cobwebs sprinkled with the magic that is known as glitter. It was then my muse took hold and instructed me to wrap myself in these webs of love and universal oneness and run naked in the streets proclaiming the joy of this moment regardless of the strictures of contrived society. With the sounds of sirens in the background I ran through the streets of sameness crying out with joy and wonder. As the lights of scarlet and crimson flashed in the background I felt the sting of a thousand nettles in my back, I fell to the ground, the only words I could speak were, don't taze me dude.

From a holding cell somewhere in time only known to men.

[thoughtful]

Last night, still drunk on platypus lactate, I started a bale fire so that I could bathe naked under the light of blue moon and revel in the glory that is my womanhood. I painted by body with the saffron of marigold pollen while hearing the screams of the night pixies at war, in battle with the the nutria. With only my roof sitting yeti as company I gazed deep within the flames to see visions of madness and joy, remembrances of cruelty and kindness and the webs of sylvan sheep woven for only me and me alone. I experienced the deep oneness that comes only after the insanity of sucking grails of platypus lactate knowing that in the morning the universe would bring me great pain in my frontal lobe. And somewhere deep within my visions came the sound of mystical chimes and tunes, I struggled to reach the now and realized it my cell phone and my spawn known as Mossfart wishing me the joy of reaching yet another blue moon. With the spell broken and torn I wandered inside the hovel and gazed in wonder at the cobwebs sprinkled with the magic that is known as glitter. It was then my muse took hold and instructed me to wrap myself in these webs of love and universal oneness and run naked in the streets proclaiming the joy of this moment regardless of the strictures of contrived society. With the sounds of sirens in the background I ran through the streets of sameness crying out with joy and wonder. As the lights of scarlet and crimson flashed in the background I felt the sting of a thousand nettles in my back, I fell to the ground, the only words I could speak were, don't taze me dude.

From a holding cell somewhere in time only known to men.

Very good. Needs more invented and arbitrarily capitalized words, and run-on sentences -- it's a bit too easy to understand. But I think you are capturing the style well. A-

:D

[Wolfie]

Last night, still drunk on platypus lactate, I started a bale fire so that I could bathe naked under the light of blue moon and revel in the glory that is my womanhood. I painted by body with the saffron of marigold pollen while hearing the screams of the night pixies at war, in battle with the the nutria. With only my roof sitting yeti as company I gazed deep within the flames to see visions of madness and joy, remembrances of cruelty and kindness and the webs of sylvan sheep woven for only me and me alone. I experienced the deep oneness that comes only after the insanity of sucking grails of platypus lactate knowing that in the morning the universe would bring me great pain in my frontal lobe. And somewhere deep within my visions came the sound of mystical chimes and tunes, I struggled to reach the now and realized it my cell phone and my spawn known as Mossfart wishing me the joy of reaching yet another blue moon. With the spell broken and torn I wandered inside the hovel and gazed in wonder at the cobwebs sprinkled with the magic that is known as glitter. It was then my muse took hold and instructed me to wrap myself in these webs of love and universal oneness and run naked in the streets proclaiming the joy of this moment regardless of the strictures of contrived society. With the sounds of sirens in the background I ran through the streets of sameness crying out with joy and wonder. As the lights of scarlet and crimson flashed in the background I felt the sting of a thousand nettles in my back, I fell to the ground, the only words I could speak were, don't taze me dude.

From a holding cell somewhere in time only known to men.

I think something like this was going on across the street in the house of the just about evicted lazy hippie last night. It was NOISY.

[heinz57]

Last night, still drunk on platypus lactate, I started a bale fire so that I could bathe naked under the light of blue moon and revel in the glory that is my womanhood. I painted by body with the saffron of marigold pollen while hearing the screams of the night pixies at war, in battle with the the nutria. With only my roof sitting yeti as company I gazed deep within the flames to see visions of madness and joy, remembrances of cruelty and kindness and the webs of sylvan sheep woven for only me and me alone. I experienced the deep oneness that comes only after the insanity of sucking grails of platypus lactate knowing that in the morning the universe would bring me great pain in my frontal lobe. And somewhere deep within my visions came the sound of mystical chimes and tunes, I struggled to reach the now and realized it my cell phone and my spawn known as Mossfart wishing me the joy of reaching yet another blue moon. With the spell broken and torn I wandered inside the hovel and gazed in wonder at the cobwebs sprinkled with the magic that is known as glitter. It was then my muse took hold and instructed me to wrap myself in these webs of love and universal oneness and run naked in the streets proclaiming the joy of this moment regardless of the strictures of contrived society. With the sounds of sirens in the background I ran through the streets of sameness crying out with joy and wonder. As the lights of scarlet and crimson flashed in the background I felt the sting of a thousand nettles in my back, I fell to the ground, the only words I could speak were, don't taze me dude.

From a holding cell somewhere in time only known to men.

Is your roof sitting yeti the one we got to meet (and love) as Hewhopissethstandingup or do you have multiple partners?

You should rewrite it so it's only two sentences. It would send more of a flowmadic phyber, IYKWIM

[Witsec7]

Is your roof sitting yeti the one we got to meet (and love) as Hewhopissethstandingup or do you have multiple partners?

You should rewrite it so it's only two sentences. It would send more of a flowmadic phyber, IYKWIM

The allure of commas and periods pull me like the tides on a barren coast and resistance becomes futile and lo though Hewhopissethstandinup lives in the magic of the green mountains painted like emeralds of a hummingbirds back we live separate and apart these many years only to join together to seek recourse in the joys of our loins pumping in grateful symphony the fairies and elves sing in harmony when we unite and the cosmos burst forth in stars and rainbows with sparkling unicorns coming to rest in our bower. In times of his absence I must lure a few of Gaia's lusty fauns to provide me with the comfort and the rhythms of the flesh we crones are greedy with heavy appetites for life and with the closing of our wombs the joys of our carnality are cheaper than cable tv or the lure of convention we lack the fear of the gynos and the gifts we bestow upon the worthy provide sustenance and succor for the urges of our carnal spirits.

[heinz57]

The allure of commas and periods pull me like the tides on a barren coast and resistance becomes futile and lo though Hewhopissethstandinup lives in the magic of the green mountains painted like emeralds of a hummingbirds back we live separate and apart these many years only to join together to seek recourse in the joys of our loins pumping in grateful symphony the fairies and elves sing in harmony when we unite and the cosmos burst forth in stars and rainbows with sparkling unicorns coming to rest in our bower. In times of his absence I must lure a few of Gaia's lusty fauns to provide me with the comfort and the rhythms of the flesh we crones are greedy with heavy appetites for life and with the closing of our wombs the joys of our carnality are cheaper than cable tv or the lure of convention we lack the fear of the gynos and the gifts we bestow upon the worthy provide sustenance and succor for the urges of our carnal spirits.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

perfect!!!!!11!! now you're just oozing the flowmadic phyber!