"Flare Prayer" how God made it rain "just" for D. Staddon

[Rhetorica]

staddonfamily.com/2011/07/21/a-flare-prayer/

The Staddon's latest blog post is a great example of a mind without enough stimulation. I think it's intended to be humorous--and it might work as some kind of dramatic bit of storytelling for children's church or something. But in normal circumstances, when an adult's weedwhacking becomes a stealth military operation, it's not funny anymore. It's just pathetic. At that point, even a rescue by God himself won't save it. Too bad the people in drought-stricken Texas and Oklahoma--not to mention plenty of other places around the globe--can't appeal to the "PrAir Force" with a "Flare Prayer."

[demgirl]

It MIGHT be meant to be humorous, but this is also the family that thought a sale on hot dug buns was an example of God's favor.

[Prek teach]

There just are no words. PrAir Force? Flare prayers?

www.thestaddonfamilyDOTcom

[Kitten]

Too bad he wasn't using an electric hedge trimmer...

[forever ago]

Too bad he wasn't using an electric hedge trimmer...

If he had been, then the rain would have been the work of Satan.

[Prek teach]

Who knew one could command God? To make it rain..."NOW". If it had only rained around DS while he foolishly attempted to weed whack around hives that were obviously busy, I might chalk it up to God. But it rained in the entire area, while he made a foolish decision to weed whack. All I can say is wow...the staddons are so one with God, they can send him commands. "HE made it rain just for me!" Well perhaps old Donald can command an end to war and famine while he's out there whacking away. The really sad thing is that he trully believes that God was looking out "just" for him, fuck everyone else that needed/prayed for rain. And WTF is a prAirForce? The audacity just blows me away.

[makepeace]

I feel sorry for D.S. Must be hard seeing your younger brothers marrying. Is there something wrong with him or is he just blessed with unfortunate looks?

[Brainsample]

That's like the novelized version of Gothard's Power of Crying Out. It's mystical, man.

[jesusfreak]

I feel sorry for D.S. Must be hard seeing your younger brothers marrying. Is there something wrong with him or is he just blessed with unfortunate looks?

That's what I wondered before too... but didn't know how to phrase delicately.

[Jencendiary]

God is a very busy anthropomorphic spiritual metaphor. He/she/it/they do not have time to help these people hunt for hot dog buns and water their gardens on schedule.

[ladypuglover]

Bah, I don't know what he is bragging about as everyone I know can make it rain on demand when clouds are brewing. Things to make it rain are;

Leave your car windows down

wash your car

use weed killer

go on a picnic

go on a much wanted outing to the pool, zoo or amusement park

make a huge list of outside chores that have to be done today.

It will empty the heavens in no time flat.

I do get the praying from the heart in a moment of terror but I don't get the demanding part. When I was skidding on ice getting ready to flip my truck down a steep embankment with my 2 youngest in back, my whole soul screamed help us Lord but I sure as heck didn't demand Him to. It was a heart felt plea for my children. No, we didn't flip. I hit a dry patch of ground and was able to fishtail back onto the road. God given or just lucky, I still never demanded He preform for special snowflake me.

[Kitten]

God is a very busy anthropomorphic spiritual metaphor. He/she/it/they do not have time to help these people hunt for hot dog buns and water their gardens on schedule.

Actually, it seems he's so busy doing these exact things for his true believers that he doesn't have time to deal with any of that "other" stuff, like ending wars, poverty, genocide, rape, incest, child abuse, etc., etc., etc. Sigh...