Michelle Says Josie Is Normal

[pixydust]

My children are all grown up. I was not a perfect parent and made my share of mistakes. Each of my three were a little bit different. I tried do respond to them individually. (Even though two of them were identical twins.) It occurs to me that I did have a line when it came to attending to their cries. The line was me. After I was certain their physical needs were attended to, I continued to attend to theor cries until I felt that i was too frazzled to be a comfort. At that point, I made the decision to let them cry for a few minutes until I composed myself.

I just thought I would share.

That's what I did with my first two. My oldest was , to use a Dr Searsism, "High needs" and sometimes I couldn't do it every time, my 2nd had colic. My 3rd kid was the king of chill as a baby. I think it's important for moms to know that they can lay the baby in it's bed, make sure it is safe, fed, dry, and warm and walk away for a few minutes to keep themselves calm.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

My kids were in an orphanage in the former Soviet Union. The Duggar kids are not like that--they ARE getting SOME of their emotional needs met. Remember, we see only a tiny sliver of their lives on the show. My niece went to day care and "bonded" with that lady just fine and is sane, happily married and a good parent today. I'm sure the older girls DO give the little ones plenty of attention. Mom and Dad may be on another planet, but we've even seen Josh and John holding and helping little kids so I think the level of neglect is nothing actionable.

That said, I think Michelle and Jim-Bob need to raise their own kids. I think the Bates DO put more of their own time and effort into their kids than the Duggars ever have.

[Mela99]

Yes, they really do. Like they are somewhat detached emotionally/socially because the further down in birth order the J kids are, the less parent bonding they receive. I remember the story about a psych experiment with the caregivers not interacting with the babies, and then half of them died for no physical reason since they were all healthy. It's still amazes me how much information remains in general circulation about letting babies cry because it's "good for their lungs" and other nonsense. Funny comparison, but this actually reminded me of how the hospital where I worked handled patient call bells. They taught us that if whenever we came in to provide therapy or give medication etc. to always offer if there was anything else we could do for them before we left. By doing this, we actually reduced the number of patient call bells overall. In other words, the patients felt secure in knowing we were there for them (not ignoring them) so they didn't feel the need to frequently call for whatever need, and the nurses/RT's could be more efficient in overall patient care. It only makes sense that this goes back to babies and their parents :)

1. ITA with what you said.

2. Your name makes me want candy hardcore. Mmm.

[SeaSaltCaramel]

1. ITA with what you said.

2. Your name makes me want candy hardcore. Mmm.

Haha! It was one of those days I'll never forget when I first had a dark chocolate covered caramel with sea salt on top. It seriously started a craving for me! If you want something else that will rock your socks off, try this brand http://talentigelato.com/our-products/ in sea salt caramel flavor. ;)

[Minerva]

Michelle barely acknowledges her grandchildren; Jim Boob is at least seen holding and interacting with them often. I doubt she cares because they don't get her any attention.

Idk, I could see a menopausal Michelle hovering creepily over a labouring Anna, prepared to grab her baby as soon as it's born.

[missbrooklyn]

Meh, Michelle says that she herself is normal as well. Since when do we take her word for anything?

[Letgo]

There is a normal period of crying called purple crying.

Shewearsfunnyhat, why is it called purple crying? I have been trying to think of a reason but haven't been able to come up with a good answer. Is it because they cry so hard they turn purple? That's my best guess.

[aubrietta]

Shewearsfunnyhat, why is it called purple crying? I have been trying to think of a reason but haven't been able to come up with a good answer. Is it because they cry so hard they turn purple? That's my best guess.

It's an acronym

P - Peak of crying - your baby my cry more each week

U - unexpected - crying comes and goes and you don't know why

R - resists soothing

P - pain like face

L - Long lasting - can last as long as five hours per day

E - Evening - baby can cry more in the late afternoon and evening

www.purplecrying.info/sections/index.php?sct=1&

The video is given out at many hospitals and health centers as shaken baby prevention.

[Sola]

Sounds like what we called colic.

[thoughtful]

Sounds like what we called colic.

I looked it up (had never heard of it, but was curious), and finding a better term for colic seems to be part of the idea:

The Period of PURPLE Crying® is the phrase used to describe the point in a baby’s life when they cry more than any other time. This period of increased crying is often described as colic, but there have been many misunderstandings about what “colic†really is.

The Period of PURPLE Crying is a new way to help parents understand this time in their baby's life, which is a normal part of every infant's development. It is confusing and concerning to be told your baby "has colic" because it sounds like it is an illness or a condition that is abnormal. When the baby is given medication to treat symptoms of colic, it reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with the baby, when in fact, the baby is going through a very normal developmental phase. That is why we prefer to refer to this time as the Period of PURPLE Crying.

http://www.purplecrying.info/sections/index.php?sct=1&

[Coconut Flan]

Calling it colic never did make sense to me since it wasn't really colic. It made something most babies just do sound like a medical condition requiring treatment. Our pediatrician refused to use the term colic for it calling it instead the evening fussy spell.

[SeaSaltCaramel]

I looked it up (had never heard of it, but was curious), and finding a better term for colic seems to be part of the idea:

http://www.purplecrying.info/sections/index.php?sct=1&

That's a great development. My daughter fit this to a "T" the first couple of months of her life. I knew colic wasn't a "sickness," but that didn't stop everyone from trying to offer their opinion for "curing" it. I got pretty frustrated at having to convince those well-meaning people that NOTHING HELPS when she's colicky (sp?) I think that this empowers parents to have a greater understanding of their child as an individual and helps them not blame themselves for not being a better parent or feel guilty when the stress of it all leads to an inevitable drain mentally.

[Miggy]

If purple crying/colic are part of normal childhood development, are my kids abnormal? All three very rarely cried, period. I always attributed this to being carried in a sling for the first six months of life and havng every need attended to immediately. Maybe they are all just weird.

[pixydust]

If purple crying/colic are part of normal childhood development, are my kids abnormal? All three very rarely cried, period. I always attributed this to being carried in a sling for the first six months of life and havng every need attended to immediately. Maybe they are all just weird.

No, your kids aren't abnormal, something can be a part of normal development (meaning nothing is wrong, many babies do it, etc) and babies who skip are still developmentally normal. Purple crying (I do like that term more than colic!) has nothing to do with their needs being met. My daughter did this, and believe me, I tried, my husband tried, she just had to scream her little lungs out every evening from 5:15 to 6:30 for about 6 weeks (I really don't remember exactly how long it went on).

[JenniferJuniper]

If purple crying/colic are part of normal childhood development, are my kids abnormal? All three very rarely cried, period. I always attributed this to being carried in a sling for the first six months of life and havng every need attended to immediately. Maybe they are all just weird.

None of my kids were carried in a sling, but one of mine almost never cried. She never laughed much either. Always just sort kicked back and observed the world with interest but also with a calm detachment. Because her sister had been the opposite, I remember asking the doctor about it and he smiled and said, "Enjoy it."

Today she's 13 and she's still the most mellow, laid back, no drama kid I've ever known. A kind, objective listener with tons of friends. And her sister is as dramatic as ever.

I suspect we're born with our personalities mostly intact.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I suspect we're born with our personalities mostly intact.

Completely agree

[PennySycamore]

Calling it colic never did make sense to me since it wasn't really colic. It made something most babies just do sound like a medical condition requiring treatment. Our pediatrician refused to use the term colic for it calling it instead the evening fussy spell.

I call the evening fussy spell "the granny hour" when what a new mom and dad need right then is grandma to come soothe the baby for a while. I don't know if the literature on "purple crying" encourages the parents to try to soothe the baby even though it doesn't seem to help, but I believe that it does make a difference in the long term.

edited to delete an incomplete thought

[Terrie]

I like that they're moving away from the term "colic." Due to too many re-readings of James Herriot as a kid, I always thought of the gut issues in horses.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I like that they're moving away from the term "colic." Due to too many re-readings of James Herriot as a kid, I always thought of the gut issues in horses.

Oh good, I thought I was the only one that made that association!

[ilovetchotchkes]

Calling it colic never did make sense to me since it wasn't really colic. It made something most babies just do sound like a medical condition requiring treatment. Our pediatrician refused to use the term colic for it calling it instead the evening fussy spell.

We called it "the witching hour" around here.

[B5SnowDog]

Oh good, I thought I was the only one that made that association!

:oops: I thought colic in babies was a gut issue. In my defense, I don't have children and haven't really been around many babies.

[Trynn]

:oops: I thought colic in babies was a gut issue. In my defense, I don't have children and haven't really been around many babies.

Same. And the only small child I do babysit is, 99% of the time, a very happy baby. (Until I decided I wanted to put him down so I could eat... instead of The Hungry Caterpillar I read "The Very Hungry Babysitter." It made him giggle.)

[NoQuiverNoCry]

We called it "the witching hour" around here.

:twisted: We called it the Arsenic Hour. (The arsenic being for me, not the baby...just wanted to clarify!)

[mnb357]

:twisted: We called it the Arsenic Hour. (The arsenic being for me, not the baby...just wanted to clarify!)

It is why God invented the cocktail hour.