25 Ways to Communicate Respect to your husband

[kb2]

I don't understand why these lists have to be gender specific. Why can't it be, "How to communicate respect to your spouse"?

[thoughtful]

My first mental image was a nice old business door, with the name on the glass:

Perfect.

What do you think of the outfits I have selected?

[Angri-la]

And cakes. I am so excited about our new venture, thoughtful. I knew it was time for a career change! We don't have to worship satan, but we do have to eat the Devil's Food Cake.

[thoughtful]

Angri-la, we have to get our work done before eating cake (er, what is our work as Satan's Emissaries, anyway?).

So, here are some office supplies:

(I really love the "marker of the beast" :lol: )

[Angri-la]

I adore you. The marker= fab. Out of clever, damn it.

The office ring tone is, of course, "Sympathy for The Devil"

[jenny_islander]

The men's list is ridiculous, put the seat down, use the hamper , use good hygiene, don't be gross don't suck in bed. It's all don't be a fucking terrible person type of advice.

http://alltruthisgodstruth.wordpress.com/2012/08/14/25-ways-to-show-your-wife-you-love-her/

I've observed that while some fundamentalists (and secular "men's rights" advocates, and plain old internalized misogynists) talk about how men must cherish and sacrifice self and etc., when you get down to specifics, the things they want to give men medals for are the things ordinary non-jackass human beings ought to be expected to do!

[thoughtful]

The office ring tone is, of course, "Sympathy for The Devil"

:clap: :clap:

When we put you on hold, it returns, followed by everything on these lists:

http://rolhirst.blogspot.com/2010/12/to ... songs.html

http://blogs.westword.com/backbeat/2010 ... t_hell.php

Then, Get Thee Behind me Satan, The Devil Went Down to Georgia, That Old Devil Moon, Devil in Disguise, and any song anyone ever claimed contained a satanic message when played backwards (played backwards, of course!).

And yes, they hear all of that -- being Satan's emissaries, we leave people on hold for a lonnnnnng time.

:angry-devil: :twisted:

[emeraldskull]

I don't understand why these lists have to be gender specific. Why can't it be, "How to communicate respect to your spouse"?

Exactly. Somehow men and women have different "rules" when it comes to loving/respecting each other? Apparently women don't have to actually love their husbands, just show they "respect" them, and husbands don't have to actually respect their wives, just show they "love" them? :-P

No thanks. I'd rather have a relationship where we both love and respect each other. And don't require "his and hers" lists of how to do that. :-P

Random note... I've NEVER understood the general aggravation at men leaving the toilet seat up. Growing up with brothers... I would MUCH rather he leave the toilet seat up after he's used it then leave it down and pee all over the seat. :-P

[StarrieEyedKat]

Random note... I've NEVER understood the general aggravation at men leaving the toilet seat up. Growing up with brothers... I would MUCH rather he leave the toilet seat up after he's used it then leave it down and pee all over the seat. :-P

Yeah, I'm the same way. In our house, whoever uses the toilet is responsible for positioning it however they need to use it, whether it's up or down, and they're allowed to leave it that way. The next person to go can move it if need be. I never saw a reason to turn it into a world war - pick your battles, y'know?

[emeraldskull]

Yeah, I'm the same way. In our house, whoever uses the toilet is responsible for positioning it however they need to use it, whether it's up or down, and they're allowed to leave it that way. The next person to go can move it if need be. I never saw a reason to turn it into a world war - pick your battles, y'know?

Exactly! I just never understand why it's something worth that much time and drama to worry about. :-P Is it really that hard for me, as a woman, to put the seat down after someone's left it up? No, no it's not. :P

[Peas n carrots]

Ooooo I want to be an Emissary for Satan (or as fundies know him, Satin) too! It sounds like a very diplomatic position...like you are the Ambassador to Hell. My desk phone would ring to the tune of The Devil Inside. I would try to have Satin resurrect Michael Hutchence to be my personal secretary...oh so many good ideas!

Getting back OT, I felt a few brain cells die reading at list. I thought this one was especially "da fuq?"

Cherish Togetherness

I love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in, just to be close to him, because I enjoy his company, even when neither of us is talking.

Everything he says is so interesting, she has no time to think anything is interesting on her own terms. Who needs the own interests when they can be actively interested in their husband's interests.

I hope her husband is never gassy. I imagine it must be brutal to be her after her DH eats chili for dinner.

[Minerva]

[...]as I think everything he says is so interesting.

What is she a puppy or something? Does she think her husband's so stupid he won't see how fake and over-the-top that "admiration" is?

[Peas n carrots]

What is she a puppy or something? Does she think her husband's so stupid he won't see how fake and over-the-top that "admiration" is?

He probably doesn't care. It's all about his ego and image I would imagine.

[wtfrenchtoast]

Exactly! I just never understand why it's something worth that much time and drama to worry about. :-P Is it really that hard for me, as a woman, to put the seat down after someone's left it up? No, no it's not. :P

For real. I mean, are there really THAT many people who don't notice that the toilet seat is down before using it? I usually notice if I need to get toilet paper before sitting, let alone the position of the seat.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

What do you think of the outfits I have selected?

Latex is naughty and all, but I think satin is better when you're brown nosing the red guy. It's only one letter off, and it breaths better in Hell.

[Miggy]

Forget the toilet seat up or down. In our house if you don't close the lid, you risk a tantrum from my husband. He quotes facts about the quantities of chemicals a toilet throws up into the air if flushed when the lid is open (and what you are breathing in if you are nearby, ewww). :roll:

[mnb357]

I've observed that while some fundamentalists (and secular "men's rights" advocates, and plain old internalized misogynists) talk about how men must cherish and sacrifice self and etc., when you get down to specifics, the things they want to give men medals for are the things ordinary non-jackass human beings ought to be expected to do!

I agree. And while I'd have never married a man who wanted to be treated that way, it's sad to think that woman are showing their kids that it is o.k. to have limited expectations from your husband. I'd hate for my sons to think they hit the end all be all of adulthood because they remember to put the toilet seat down. I'd hate for my daughter to think that was the hallmark of a decent man either. Sure, I like good manners as well as the next person, but the presence of them should really only be the barometer for accepting a date to begin with. Ah, but then, these people don't date, do they?

[mnb357]

Forget the toilet seat up or down. In our house if you don't close the lid, you risk a tantrum from my husband. He quotes facts about the quantities of chemicals a toilet throws up into the air if flushed when the lid is open (and what you are breathing in if you are nearby, ewww). :roll:

Hilarious, but oh so true. Closed lid in our house means that the toilet has bleach in it, so flush before use, as ammonia and bleach don't mix!

[DistantStar]

Never mind chemicals, I have lived with both dogs and cats. Lid goes down when nobody's on the toilet, regardless of gender. I live alone so this isn't a problem for me, but if I were cohabitating or married, it'd be the same, as I wouldn't live with somebody without my pet(s) being welcome. I really don't want to rescue an angry blue point Siamese from my toilet, ya know?

[jenny_islander]

Exactly. Somehow men and women have different "rules" when it comes to loving/respecting each other? Apparently women don't have to actually love their husbands, just show they "respect" them, and husbands don't have to actually respect their wives, just show they "love" them? :-P

Yes, actually, there's a whole "Christian marriage" book on the theme that men need respect (but not love), while women need love (but not respect). It's called (what else?) Love and Respect. What it boils down to, basically, is that men need to be told they fart ice cream and women need the occasional pat on the head. How very convenient for the patriarch. :roll:

Patriarchy hurts men too, of course. For every sociopath or narcissist who just loves knowing that everybody around him thinks he's the Metatron, there are probably a half-dozen ordinary guys who grasp, however dimly, that the hype surrounding the patriarch's role is inhumanly unrealistic: that no matter how much they may want to be a good Godly self-sufficient paterfamilias with all the answers, at the end of the day they're tired, underemployed, and confused. If only they had a help meet for them, who could stand beside them in times of trouble, provide reality checks for their ideas, and give them a shoulder to lean on on the bad days! But patriarchs can't have that.

[desertvixen]

Never mind chemicals, I have lived with both dogs and cats. Lid goes down when nobody's on the toilet, regardless of gender. I live alone so this isn't a problem for me, but if I were cohabitating or married, it'd be the same, as I wouldn't live with somebody without my pet(s) being welcome. I really don't want to rescue an angry blue point Siamese from my toilet, ya know?

This is my take, as well. (Although seal points in my case...)

[Miggy]

Patriarchy hurts men too, of course. For every sociopath or narcissist who just loves knowing that everybody around him thinks he's the Metatron, there are probably a half-dozen ordinary guys who grasp, however dimly, that the hype surrounding the patriarch's role is inhumanly unrealistic: that no matter how much they may want to be a good Godly self-sufficient paterfamilias with all the answers, at the end of the day they're tired, underemployed, and confused. If only they had a help meet for them, who could stand beside them in times of trouble, provide reality checks for their ideas, and give them a shoulder to lean on on the bad days! But patriarchs can't have that.

My husband was very clear on this from the beginning of our relationship!

He introduced me to his fundy brother & wife and a conversation about where we would go lead to my future sister-in-law saying "Well I will do what I'm told." I nearly died. I understand going along with the crowd but this was a whole new level. After we left hubby said "If you ever say something like that or treat me like she treats him, I will leave. No discussion. No second chance." Over the years we have discussed it many times (as he has several brothers and cousins living patriarchal lifestyles) and each time my husband says he wouldn't want the pressure of making major decisions alone or of having to earn enough to support the whole family.

I think it is pretty obvious from reading Free Jinger and all the blogs we snark on, that patriarchy hurts men just as much as women.

[emeraldskull]

I think it is pretty obvious from reading Free Jinger and all the blogs we snark on, that patriarchy hurts men just as much as women.

Most definitely it does! For those guys who don't like being narcissistic jerks, they end up "not leading enough" "not keeping their wife under control" "weak/henpecked/beat", which is, of course, the worst thing a man can be in that teaching. Not only do they have to shoulder every decision and full responsibility for EVERYTHING, but he is also, apparently, a pig who can't even glance at a low neckline without having an orgy with her in his mind.

This teaching and lifestyle favors neither men or women.

[keen23]

My neighbor, who belongs to a pretty conservative non-denominational church that meets in a school cafeteria on Sunday mornings, posted this very same blog post on her FB page as "So many wonderful ways to honor and respect your hubby! Every married woman should read this." I threw up a little in my mouth upon reading all of the fawning comments from her church friends after she posted this.

[Swamptribe]

I tried a couple of these on my headship yesterday. He gave me a weird look and told me to stop being creepy. Then I told him about the list. He said real men don't need such a stupid list to be men.