I love my LARGE FAMILY - "Yes, they're all mine!"

[slickcat79]

Ooh, we are uneducated, pedophilic, maladjusted hags apparently.

ETA: I always find it strange when people post pictures of their kids really openly on the net, then complain when people look at them. there is a reason why i don't put pictures of my child up anywhere, because she is a kid.

This. There's some discussion about when/where it's appropriate for people to post pics of other people's kids, but it's not like they're going to other people's houses, snapping secret pics and posting them on the internet. The only way we get pics is to pull them from other public places :?

[Bloo]

I have nothing against large families if the parents have the proper resources. I have a problem with collecting children, putting them in inadequate spaces (200 sq. ft. for that many people is disgusting and dangerous), and the unsafe practices these people brag about.

Let me make one thing clear, FB stalkers: I am not jealous. I'm worried for your kids, whom you recklessly endanger.

[roddma]

The thing is not that most people are against larger families an estimated 80% of large families are for religious reasons.

Famous ones: The Osmonds -Mormon, Madonna- raised Catholic- 1of 6, Kennedys-Catholic

Even with the proper finances, there is the issue of time and attention from parents. Then unexpected things can happen like loss of a spouse, loss of jobs, etc.

Besides the relgious factor, a dangerous baby addiction can play a huge role. They want another baby though their last baby is barely out of diapers. Staying pregnant becomes their identity. I would say secertly they like the attention a larger family gets them though they may deny it.

[Witsec7]

This is why we can't have nice things.

I'm a parent of an only child Kim, I also raised 4 steps and two wards of the court. I'm sick of the fucking disparaging comments you folks make about those of us who don't consider our uteruses clown cars. I'm tired of you fucking uptight twats thinking everyone who doesn't have a litter of kids or follow your god is some how a junkie on welfare. I'm sick and fucking tired of you folks complaining about not being able to feed your kids or where you are going to warehouse them. Just because I and other parents like myself choose to have answers to these questions before we have another child we are again demonized. And I'm fucking tired of your 'how to' discussions of compliance with social services when you are fostering but as soon as you adopt those same foster kids you're willing to stack them like cordwood.

As to young adults with tattoos or piercings who really gives a shit? This isn't 1950, I've pounded nails with young pierced and tattooed adults at Habitat on many a day. Stop being so fucking afraid of the real world. But in the mean time, kiss my tanned but firm old ass.

ETA: FWIW I'm retired, I actually collect a paycheck for snarking here. Not a single one of you whiners has the ovaries to get a login and post over here. We have many members with large families, some of whom actually are voices of reason on your FB page.

Sorry Jingers but I was getting a bit back up.

[chaotic life]

LMAO

Excuse me, but I just spewed my delicious strawberry wine all over my computer screen.

Why the hell would I be jealous of the families on this FB page????? First, I HAVE a large family. I also have an income that most people would assume would be sufficient to provide for my large family. However, since I want my children to have a totally NORMAL life, it's just an adequate, middle-class life. My children sleep no more than TWO to a bedroom. I have a NINE bedroom house, though I turned a room into a playroom because eight was sufficient for our needs. We have four bathrooms. Before this, we had a five bedroom and 2.5 bath house and it was cramped. I wouldn't go back to less than six bedrooms for anything in the world now. I wouldn't NEED to either.

I cut ties with most of my large family friends. Want to know why? Because I couldn't take the stress and panicked feelings *I* felt at the way they failed to provide for their children and would NOT stop having them. I got tired of sending my outgrown baby clothes to them and those clothes mysteriously disappearing by the time they popped out another kid and they once again had NO clothes and no cloth diapers for their babies. I got tired of worrying if other people's kids were eating because I listened to too many stories of families who had this "epiphany" that really humans only need TWO meals per day so their kids would be fine....and nice and petite if they fed them less.

Honest to goodness, a SANE mother of a large family can still sit here and laugh at the lunacy and idiotic behaviors of families who think there's something OKAY about stacking kids like cordwood, squeezing them so tight they cannot breath and never telling them there's a real world outside of the myoptic control they have known their whole lives.

When we hit our limit for my body, we used birth control. When that failed, we used FAR more serious measures. I deliberately cut off my ability to have babies. I have NO problems passing homestudies and can even afford international adoptions. I am DONE not because I couldn't have the family I wanted but because I HAVE the family I want....and I want there to be enough of ME and every other resource to give my children a decent life. Not jealous. I was SMART....and still had a large family (nine children is hardly a little family, tyvm).

[emmiedahl]

Another FJer with a large family!

This website is very friendly to large families. We just have standards as to how you treat them. Have all the kids you want, as long as you can appropriately house, feed, and educate them. I know a family of 8 with a house remodeled to accommodate privacy and space needs; the children wear hand-me-downs when they want to and get new clothes when the hand-me-downs are too torn up or out of style. They eat normal food, lots of fruit, and go to TONS of extra-curricular activities, which is how I know them. I can imagine what the parents go through to provide a comfortable lifestyle (the dad does something blue collar-ish) and I am sure it is a lot of hard work. But ya know what? They CHOSE to have all these children. And they take damn good care of them!

I guess they are too busy providing to post on Facebook asking for ways to make half a cup of flour feed 10 people for supper. Unlike all the people at ILMLF.

[Witsec7]

And I guess we know where those 115 guests viewing this thread come from.

[GeoBQn]

Someone on that page claimed they had been trolling us earlier. Any unusual activity?

[Witsec7]

Someone on that page claimed they had been trolling us earlier. Any unusual activity?

From their comments it sounded as if someone posted rude comments there. I can't see any evidence of such. But FWIW there is one poster, who doesn't appear to be a known Jinger, who said she came over and read our rules and acknowledged that some of us have large families and are concerned about the welfare of the children. Poor thing, she'll be a voice in the wilderness on ILMLF.

ETA: This is the second ILMLF thread, I made another about a year ago because I was livid about one of the mother's sticking a special needs daughter in a windowless space under a stairway. This same woman had a daughter living in her pantry. I've read of mothers ignoring the sensory issues of the children who are on the spectrum. If the child did not like the food in front of them they went hungry. Two months ago a woman on chemo was told to go off it and treat it with herbs. Another mother insisted on feeding a toddler butter as a means of discipline. Far too many of the posters promote Ezzo, and the Peals and quite a few admit to hitting. But all in all there are three main topics, how to feed them for less, where to put the kids, and what washing machine to buy. I believe in choice. But I also believe that parents are responsible for the children they bring into this world. I think Chaotic Life said it best up thread.

[Rosa]

Sad as it is when we lose the snark material, I am pretty glad when people stop posting because we're looking. It means they're probably doing something wrong - either with not taking basic privacy precautions, or with documenting something that is unsafe or unkind to their own children.

Any time they get that glimmer of self-awareness and change their ways a little bit, it's a chance to take that first step out of the quagmire. NOT away from having a large family, but from the social groups that push people to have/do more and more and more.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Large families are great, if you want to have 10 kids, thats fine. You just need to be able to provide for a large family and have a house that can comfortably fit the family in, healthy nutritious meals in decent sized portions for the children, money to ensure they have toys and clothes that are in good condition and healthcare, and that you can cope with that many kids, give them all love and attention and look after them.

Fundies often have large families, but theyd be crappy parents if they had one and treated them that way. Beating a child is wrong whether you have one or 20 kids. Making their kid sleep in a room that is not designed for sleeping in is wrong, its more commonly large families that do that because of how its expensive to buy a house with a bedroom for each kid in a large family, but Bathroom Baby was kept in a bathroom and hes an only child, its still terrible. Restricting a childs education is wrong.

[ilovetchotchkes]

I'm amused whenever people try to profile us as all being the same type of person. In this case, we are women who desperately want large families, but can't due to a disagreeing husband or boyfriend, and we are thus jealous of those who can have lots of children.

*snort* Don't forget our mean ebil doctors who tell us not to have any more for our health's sake. I personally see nothing wrong with large families, and i know a handful of freejingerites have larger families. But the difference is, they love and care for those families and children as opposed to expecting them to be automotons.

[treehugger]

*snort* Don't forget our mean ebil doctors who tell us not to have any more for our health's sake. I personally see nothing wrong with large families, and i know a handful of freejingerites have larger families. But the difference is, they love and care for those families and children as opposed to expecting them to be automotons.

Or those of us who know that we wouldn't be able to keep up with a lot of kids and can't afford a lot of kids. I know, I know, somewhere some fundie is going "Oh but raising a kid costs less than having a cup of coffee a day". But I may have slightly different standards of living also. If I can't afford to give my kids clothes that fit and healthy meals three times a day and a good education I have no business having them.

[ilovetchotchkes]

Or those of us who know that we wouldn't be able to keep up with a lot of kids and can't afford a lot of kids. I know, I know, somewhere some fundie is going "Oh but raising a kid costs less than having a cup of coffee a day". But I may have slightly different standards of living also. If I can't afford to give my kids clothes that fit and healthy meals three times a day and a good education I have no business having them.

Bullcrap. I am a "plus size" girl and my oldest at almost 3 years eats more than I do in a day. He's like a stinking hobbit.

[treehugger]

I know! I live in the middle of the prairies and there are no orchards for hundreds of miles. If I want to feed my kid an apple (hypothetically, since she isn't even a year old yet!) that would cost almost the equivalent of a cup of coffee. What is she going to do for the rest of the day - not eat?

[ilovetchotchkes]

I know! I live in the middle of the prairies and there are no orchards for hundreds of miles. If I want to feed my kid an apple (hypothetically, since she isn't even a year old yet!) that would cost almost the equivalent of a cup of coffee. What is she going to do for the rest of the day - not eat?

What what? you mean you haven't trained her up to ask YOU what you want to feed her? how dare you encourage independent thinking! ;)

[slickcat79]

I know! I live in the middle of the prairies and there are no orchards for hundreds of miles. If I want to feed my kid an apple (hypothetically, since she isn't even a year old yet!) that would cost almost the equivalent of a cup of coffee. What is she going to do for the rest of the day - not eat?

Well, your assumption that apples come from orchards is clearly your first mistake. Obviously they come from jars and cans. You can even split them between multiple children with no effort whatsoever. Easy peasy!

[Witsec7]

This is the kind of warehousing I referred to in my previous posts:

6 boys and one young daughter share a room with 2 shorty bunks and a triple bunk.

I don't have a problem with siblings sharing rooms. But 7 to a room? If these were immigrants doing the same thing I think the ladies on that page would be singing a different song. Since they're not it's all good.

And this is from a mother who has a 12 yo with enuresis:

he now is sleeping on a rubber mattress, above tile, due to the severity of it

Most of the advice to her was to seek chiropractic care. A few were into the old time shame and blame, but I will give a couple props for calling the shamers to task.

And some bon mots about fostering to adoption and how to stack them like cordwood:

n Idaho there is a limit of 6 kids too, so to get around that.....go to a private agency. You can adopt foster kids via a private agency as well (surprising how many don't know that). Here, we can put as many kids in a bedroom as we want as long as.....everyone has their own bed (under 5, same gender can share a bed), there are 2 ft between beds (bunkbeds count), and each child has their own drawer for their clothes. So....we have one bedroom that is extra large and we can fit 5 bunkbeds in there...therefore we can have 10 kids in that room. I probably won't put more than 8 tho.

you cannot have more than 6 children that are bio and foster. each child must have their own bed - trundles and futons are not acceptable for fostered children. you may adopt as many as you like, but again, you must have the space set up. basements are not permitted to be counted as a bedroom and may not be used for these childen - no matter how nice it is! after they have been adopted....then it is up to you. oh, kids under 5 may share a room, but after that they may only share with the same gender

Here in Kansas, each child must have a minimum of 45 square feet and their own bed. Once they are adopted, you can do what you want with sleeping arrangements,

[chaotic life]

Call me crazy, but I happen to believe that growing children should be fed, housing accomodations should give children enough space to be children, educations should be mandatory, and children who need HUGS should have a functional mom who CAN HUG THEM. There are minimum standards that children MUST be provided and if a family cannot provide basic requirements for life (food, education, housing and medical care) then they have no business continuing to expand their family.

Yes, I AM going to judge helping other mothers figure out how to NOT provide basic needs. That's never, ever okay. I'm also going to judge any idea that it doesn't take *more* mother like this and you don't therefore need to both account for the basic needs of all of the kids AND account for taking care of YOU, because if you don't take care of YOU then there is no one LEFT to take care of THEM. These segment of society is still too small to garner the attention of researchers, but I've seen a FRIGHTENING number of large family mothers DIE in the prime of their lives in the last several decades as the QF movement has spread and grown, and I suspect it comes from taxing bodies and NOT teaching women how vital their health is.

[treehugger]

Well, your assumption that apples come from orchards is clearly your first mistake. Obviously they come from jars and cans. You can even split them between multiple children with no effort whatsoever. Easy peasy!

Ah yes! Clearly I wasn't thinking right! After all, who needs fresh fruit? Surely the cost of fresh fruits and vegetables shouldn't deter me from having as many kids as physically possible. Who says kids need good food anyways? Tater tots anyone?

[ilovetchotchkes]

Ah yes! Clearly I wasn't thinking right! After all, who needs fresh fruit? Surely the cost of fresh fruits and vegetables shouldn't deter me from having as many kids as physically possible. Who says kids need good food anyways? Tater tots anyone?

Only if you put them in the chickenetti.

[Coconut Flan]

I can not wrap my mind around the child collectors. I know they exist but I can't get in their heads to see how they think it's any where near the right thing to do. I know a couple who I think is verging on or just crossed into collector status and what scares me is that I've seen people encouraging them.