'Opting out' LDS and other faiths

[freejoytoo]

I'm kind of addicted to this Mormon blog. It very rarely gets updated now but I like reading some of the older stuff. Some of it is just normal mother stuff and some of it is batshit crazy, like the modesty posts. I thought this entry was interesting. It's about parents opting out of certain parts of modern or church life. Some of it seems reasonable but some of it just seems bizarre, like not letting kids be babysat at non-LDS homes as there's 'more likely to be porn'. I'm not sure where I read it but on a site associated with the blog someone said they would not let their child go to a sleepover because children are more likely to experiment Can't risk them turning into teh gayz. A couple of people said they opted out of being Republicans for selling out to the Liberals. I kid you not. There seems to be a serious dislike of sleepovers going on as well.

 

What do you think of 'opting out'?

 

http://www.mormonmommywars.com/?p=1051

[Wolfie]

I don't know how different is is with most other parenting- there are some things you do and some you don't. I was not in a conservative family at all, but we never had an atari or nintendo. I had hippie parent friends with no TV. It's just not something specific to one group. Their reasons may not make sense, but still parents do pick and choose.

[freejoytoo]

Oh, I know opting out of stuff isn't just specific to that group, just some of their reasoning is. Someone said that no sleepovers was a very LDS thing but they didn't say why.

[keen23]

I had a neighbor's 16 year old daughter babysit my kids one time, so I could do the Christmas shopping alone. It went great, the kids loved her, and I thought she'd be someone awesome to have in the neighborhood to watch my kids occasionally. The next time I called her, her mother told me that her daughter wasn't allowed to babysit for us again, because we had liquor in the house. They were Mormons. A girl I worked with, who was an ex-Mormon said that was actually pretty common, and she was surprised the mother didn't insist on looking through our house before she allowed the girl over the first time. At the time, it didn't even occur to me that having some wine and beer in the house would even be an issue. It's not like I told the kid to drink it or anything.

[Hisey]

I had a neighbor's 16 year old daughter babysit my kids one time, so I could do the Christmas shopping alone. It went great, the kids loved her, and I thought she'd be someone awesome to have in the neighborhood to watch my kids occasionally. The next time I called her, her mother told me that her daughter wasn't allowed to babysit for us again, because we had liquor in the house. They were Mormons. A girl I worked with, who was an ex-Mormon said that was actually pretty common, and she was surprised the mother didn't insist on looking through our house before she allowed the girl over the first time. At the time, it didn't even occur to me that having some wine and beer in the house would even be an issue. It's not like I told the kid to drink it or anything.

Actually, keen23, I think it's pretty rude of the girl to go poking around to see if you have liquor. I can't imagine Jesus doing that (sorry, not sure if the Mormons believe in Jesus). In any event, it doesn't seem like a very godly way for her daughter to behave. We watch our neighbor's dog on occasion, and I teach my kids NOT to go poking around in a strange home.

[hoipolloi]

I'm kind of addicted to this Mormon blog. It very rarely gets updated now but I like reading some of the older stuff. Some of it is just normal mother stuff and some of it is batshit crazy, like the modesty posts. I thought this entry was interesting. It's about parents opting out of certain parts of modern or church life. Some of it seems reasonable but some of it just seems bizarre, like not letting kids be babysat at non-LDS homes as there's 'more likely to be porn'. I'm not sure where I read it but on a site associated with the blog someone said they would not let their child go to a sleepover because children are more likely to experiment :shock: Can't risk them turning into teh gayz. A couple of people said they opted out of being Republicans for selling out to the Liberals. I kid you not. There seems to be a serious dislike of sleepovers going on as well.

What do you think of 'opting out'?

http://www.mormonmommywars.com/?p=1051

The Pearls really push this isolationism for kids, since, you know, sleepovers are teh debbil's work (nogreaterjoy.org/articles/sanctuary/?topic_slug=protecting-your-children):

Over the years as our children were growing up, Deb and I offended about every family member and some of our friends by being “overprotective†of the innocent charges God sent into our care. We guarded them from any suspect company and thoughtfully planned their associations. We have not trusted, “good Christian families.†We have not participated in churches where the children were separated from us. After church, we watched them and their associations. When kids stop running around in circles, screaming, and start talking, or drawing aside, you’ve likely got the beginning of troubles brewing. Keep the little ones standing right beside you after church. They should always sit with you, never with their friends. If they go out to the bathroom, go with them. Never allow them to spend the night with friends or cousins. Slumber parties are sin parties. Never allow them to listen to music through headphones. Three-minute phone conversations, no chat rooms, no surfing the web for any reason. Parents should make it physically impossible for them to even access the web. We didn’t allow our children to spend time in their bedrooms unless they were working on a project or reading. Bedroom doors were always kept open, except for two minutes while dressing.

So much emphasis on illicit sex in the home or anywhere, for that matter, makes me wonder what the hell was going on in the Pearls' home? Takes one to know one?

[freejoytoo]

On the blog they're mostly saying it's in case of molestation.

[Samantha]

Focusing on the sleepover issue in mormonism, there was a general conference talk about it a couple years ago.

Elder Larry R. Lawrence of the Seventy said:

May I express my personal warning about a practice that is common in many cultures. I am referring to sleepovers, or spending the night at the home of a friend. As a bishop I discovered that too many youth violated the Word of Wisdom or the law of chastity for the first time as part of a sleepover. Too often their first exposure to pornography and even their first encounter with the police occurred when they were spending the night away from home.

Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2 ... -parenting

So yes, sleepovers are now frowned upon by devout mormons.

[slickcat79]

The Pearls really push this isolationism for kids, since, you know, sleepovers are teh debbil's work (nogreaterjoy.org/articles/sanctuary/?topic_slug=protecting-your-children):

So much emphasis on illicit sex in the home or anywhere, for that matter, makes me wonder what the hell was going on in the Pearls' home? Takes one to know one?

Ugh. Anything the Pearls say in connection with "protecting" their children makes me want to throw up. More like Mike and Debi couldn't risk their kids finding out that it is NOT normal to get hit with plumbing line every day, or start telling someone else what went on in that house of horrors.

[lilwriter85]

I have visited this blog before in the past. I know a few non fundies who don't watch much TV for different reasons. My uncle's ex wife was an ex Mormon. She was 12, when her family left the LDS church. During their LDS days, she said that her parents had issues with other LDS parents regarding TV, video games, etc. My aunt's parents were ok with TV and video games, but some of their relatives and LDS friends had banned video games and/or TV. There are a few Mormon bloggers that I've been following who are TV watchers. But they pretty much avoid a lot of controversial scripted TV shows.

[YPestis]

Parents forbid all kinds of stuff for their kids. Sleepovers I can believe could be seen as mischief making since kids are together relatively unsupervised. I've heard of families that won't let their daughters date until they are 16 because they're afraid of rape (although not sure how being a teenager makes you less vulnerable). When our class was scheduled to watch an R-rated movie from a book we'd been reading, one of the kid's parent called up the teacher deeply concerned. That same parent also won't allow her kids to read The Godfather due to content. As a kid, I did sleepovers, watched R-rated movies and read The Godfather, eh....didn't see what the big deal is here but each child is different I guess. I can't imagine someone not letting their teenage daughter babysit in a house because of alcohol. Wine is such a big component of some cultures that they would be hard pressed to avoid it if they lived in certain parts of the world. If someone did that to me, I think I'd feel offended, like I was judged and left wanting. Then again, I loooooooooove my wine LOL.

[lilwriter85]

When it comes to R rated movies, I have heard that the LDS church strongly advises against watching R rated movies. Some LDS members will watch certain R rated movies depending on the plots or the reasons for the R ratings. There are some LDS members that don't watch R rated movies at all. Back in 2008, there was an LDS contestant on American Idol who mentioned to the judges her audition that she had never watched an R rated movie. Simon Cowell questioned her and she said something like, "My parents didn't want to us to see certain things". I think she intentionally left out that she was Mormon during her first appearances on the show.

[YPestis]

When it comes to R rated movies, I have heard that the LDS church strongly advises against watching R rated movies. Some LDS members will watch certain R rated movies depending on the plots or the reasons for the R ratings. There are some LDS members that don't watch R rated movies at all. Back in 2008, there was an LDS contestant on American Idol who mentioned to the judges her audition that she had never watched an R rated movie. Simon Cowell questioned her and she said something like, "My parents didn't want to us to see certain things". I think she intentionally left out that she was Mormon during her first appearances on the show.

See, I never understood that. An organization sets the ratings. It's a guideline to help parents know the content in a movie, not a judgement on the actual film. So many excellent, educational films receive R-ratings. Life is R-rated. A good movie, in order to reflect the messiness of life, may be R-rated in order to tell the story. I can't imagine avoiding Schindler's List because of it's R-rating. Would anyone think it's gratuitous or excessive in it's use of violence and sex? It seems like some people prefer to let other people dictate their life than use their own brains.

[Samantha]

See, I never understood that. An organization sets the ratings. It's a guideline to help parents know the content in a movie, not a judgement on the actual film. So many excellent, educational films receive R-ratings. Life is R-rated. A good movie, in order to reflect the messiness of life, may be R-rated in order to tell the story. I can't imagine avoiding Schindler's List because of it's R-rating. Would anyone think it's gratuitous or excessive in it's use of violence and sex? It seems like some people prefer to let other people dictate their life than use their own brains.

That is why, as a mormon, you're supposed to be in the world but not of the world.

I remember that I saw a couple of R-rated films while being mormon and couldn't forgive myself. Because I knew that I was purposely breaking god's will by watching them. So I didn't go to the temple for two months, until I could fully repent. And I remember one Sunday, a woman was speaking in a lesson about how she could not take the sacrament that week because she had decided to defy the lord and go and see an R-rated movie with her non-member husband and friends.

[DarkAnts]

I'm kind of addicted to this Mormon blog. It very rarely gets updated now but I like reading some of the older stuff. Some of it is just normal mother stuff and some of it is batshit crazy, like the modesty posts. I thought this entry was interesting. It's about parents opting out of certain parts of modern or church life. Some of it seems reasonable but some of it just seems bizarre, like not letting kids be babysat at non-LDS homes as there's 'more likely to be porn'. I'm not sure where I read it but on a site associated with the blog someone said they would not let their child go to a sleepover because children are more likely to experiment :shock: Can't risk them turning into teh gayz. A couple of people said they opted out of being Republicans for selling out to the Liberals. I kid you not. There seems to be a serious dislike of sleepovers going on as well.

What do you think of 'opting out'?

http://www.mormonmommywars.com/?p=1051

Well, Utah is #1 for online porn subscriptions in the US.

[Hevcoh]

I'm an ex-Mormon, my adoptive family converted shortly before I turned 11, and I left when I was 19.

I wasn't allowed sleep overs. I wasn't allowed sleepovers with LDS friends, either. The irony is that I didn't need them to be sexually active and I did find a way to my step-father's extensive porn collection.

What bothers me so bad about this is that parents just don't trust their kids to make those choices most of them would make anyway: stay true to their values. Why else would said daughter say that there was liquor in the house? If she wnted to take adventage of it, she sure wouldn't have told her mom... And those that would choose otherwise, do find a way to see R rated movies and get a can of beer.

[freejoytoo]

I found it disturbing when I read the comment saying that they heard too much experimentation goes on at sleepovers - it wasn't on that blog but it's one of the sites listed on it. It's like they're scared of their child discovering their own sexuality. Oh wait - they're not allowed to do that :roll:

There was another entry on there about them being so happy that The King's Speech being marked down to a PG 13 and then someone rebuked the poster for daring to watch an R rated film, and she said it was because the R was just for some bad language and not the 'good reasons'.

Someone else said they never let their child near 'liberal media' :shock:

If Mormons have an issue with alcohol in the house what do they think about coffee? Surely there's tons of that in most homes, assuming you're not in Utah.

I bet LDS homes have more porn than most. I think there's a lot of repression going on.

[DarkAnts]

I found it disturbing when I read the comment saying that they heard too much experimentation goes on at sleepovers - it wasn't on that blog but it's one of the sites listed on it. It's like they're scared of their child discovering their own sexuality. Oh wait - they're not allowed to do that :roll:

There was another entry on there about them being so happy that The King's Speech being marked down to a PG 13 and then someone rebuked the poster for daring to watch an R rated film, and she said it was because the R was just for some bad language and not the 'good reasons'.

Someone else said they never let their child near 'liberal media' :shock:

If Mormons have an issue with alcohol in the house what do they think about coffee? Surely there's tons of that in most homes, assuming you're not in Utah.

I bet LDS homes have more porn than most. I think there's a lot of repression going on.

I was living in Layton, Ut when Titanic first came to theaters. More then a few theaters edited out the scene where Rose is naked. Others just had a black screen and talking for that part. What upset me the most was when the theater I went to decide to do this. There was no warning about the altered film. I demanded my money back. I was 15 and I knew that nudity was not a big deal. I saw a naked women each time I took a shower. I got my money back and the theater finally put up a warning about editing the scene a few days later.

[lilwriter85]

I found it disturbing when I read the comment saying that they heard too much experimentation goes on at sleepovers - it wasn't on that blog but it's one of the sites listed on it. It's like they're scared of their child discovering their own sexuality. Oh wait - they're not allowed to do that :roll:

There was another entry on there about them being so happy that The King's Speech being marked down to a PG 13 and then someone rebuked the poster for daring to watch an R rated film, and she said it was because the R was just for some bad language and not the 'good reasons'.

Someone else said they never let their child near 'liberal media' :shock:

If Mormons have an issue with alcohol in the house what do they think about coffee? Surely there's tons of that in most homes, assuming you're not in Utah.

I bet LDS homes have more porn than most. I think there's a lot of repression going on.

I remember on some LDS site, that some Mormons said that they are ok with watching war or historical based movies that are R. Those people probably do get rebuked by some of their fellow Mormons. Maybe if The King's Speech was a R, some Mormons would have watched it. Heather at paralyzedwithjoy is a Mormon who seems to follow the no R movies rules, but she does whine about some of the PG-13 movies she watches. She whined about some of the language in Super 8 and she said something that "good movies get dragged down by bad language". They don't. Cuss words for some movies makes the movies have a gritty or angsty type feel. American History X had a high amount of cuss words and it had to the intense feel of the movie.

Another gem from Heather was when she whined about some of the content of the Footloose remake

paralyzedwithjoy.blogspot.com/2011/11/teenage-cinema.html

The criticism I have with the movie, however, is that it's geared towards teenagers, but quite a bit of the content (like language, innuendos and some suggestive dancing) is questionable for young teens. I'm pretty conservative and I don't think I would allow my teenager (especially a young one) to watch this movie. Teens are so impressionable, and I know they will find out about the ways of the world soon enough, but that doesn't mean I have to be the one to expose them to it. It's too bad when a good movie is tainted with things like excessive swearing. Gratuitous swearing is one of my biggest pet peeves in movies! Heather's rating: 8/10 stars

When I first read that quote, I rolled my eyes. Footloose didn't have excessive swearing like Heather claimed it did. The sexual content of the movie was a bit tame compared to other past teen movies(e.g. American Pie). I also think Heather is a bit stupid. She dumbs down all teenagers and makes it seems like all teens are going to be influenced by movies. I'm a year younger than Heather, back during my teen years I watched American Pie and several teen movies that heavily featured sex, drinking etc and despite seeing those movies, I wasn't influenced to drink a lot or have sex during my high school years. In a way, I can't fault Heather for how she views certain PG-13 movies, she likely hasn't seen an R rated movie. If she has, it was probably a war movie. If she was the type of person to watch R rated movies all the time, she would have seen the Footloose remake as a bit tame.

When it comes to stuff like Mormons and coffee, they are probably ok with visiting non-LDS homes that have coffee. They would refuse coffee, soda, or tea if offered to them. A friend of mine worked at Baskin Robbins store that was owned by a Mormon couple, she said that they would drink orange soda because it has no caffeinated and they also drank non caffeinated root beer.

[freejoytoo]

Said this before, but I do NOT get the caffeine rule because they break it all the time. They say 'no hot drinks' so thy won't drink tea or coffee but they'll drink Coke, so apparently it's the temperature?! But then they drink hot chocolate which has caffeine in as well!

[lilwriter85]

Said this before, but I do NOT get the caffeine rule because they break it all the time. They say 'no hot drinks' so thy won't drink tea or coffee but they'll drink Coke, so apparently it's the temperature?! But then they drink hot chocolate which has caffeine in as well!

I have also seen Mormons who drink hot chocolate or eat chocolate products. Heather the blogger I mentioned above is always showing pictures of chocolate desserts that her family eats. On her pinterest page, and pinterest pages of her sisters they all list chocolate cake, brownie or other chocolate desert recepies on their pins.

Heather lists tons of chocolate stuff on hers.

http://pinterest.com/heatherij/

[freejoytoo]

They also seem to make a lot of chocolate milkshakes with food storage stuff. A cup of coffee is also a lot healthier than several cans of Coke or Mountain Dew.

Do they not see the inconsistency? That was one of the reasons my dad quit being a Catholic. He said God was too indecisive as the priest kept changing the rules about fasting etc.

[DarkAnts]

They also seem to make a lot of chocolate milkshakes with food storage stuff. A cup of coffee is also a lot healthier than several cans of Coke or Mountain Dew.

Do they not see the inconsistency? That was one of the reasons my dad quit being a Catholic. He said God was too indecisive as the priest kept changing the rules about fasting etc.

They own stock in the coke. There has never been an official ruling on caffeine soda but its not allowed at BYU. Many students buy a caffeine free bottle and keep refilling it with caffeine versions. The rules for it tend to vary based on your bishops interoperation of the passage in the BOM.

[lilwriter85]

They also seem to make a lot of chocolate milkshakes with food storage stuff. A cup of coffee is also a lot healthier than several cans of Coke or Mountain Dew.

Do they not see the inconsistency? That was one of the reasons my dad quit being a Catholic. He said God was too indecisive as the priest kept changing the rules about fasting etc.

I think some of them see the inconsistency, but they just quietly ignore it and they go about eating chocolate products.

[Hevcoh]

They own stock in the coke. There has never been an official ruling on caffeine soda but its not allowed at BYU. Many students buy a caffeine free bottle and keep refilling it with caffeine versions. The rules for it tend to vary based on your bishops interoperation of the passage in the BOM.

The passage is in the Doctrine and Covenants, and specifically says hot drinks. It can be turned and twisted any way the bishop wants, but they can'T call you out on drinking caffeine. My Mission President's wife, however, told all of us to always ave a bottle of coke in our fridge for stomach issues.

The Church or its corporations ownership in Coke and Pepsi are pretty much an urban legend: http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/mormon.asp They do sell caffeinated drinks in the mall owned by the LDS Church.

Also, I find it funny that numerous LDS women are Choffy distributors, which is a cocoa based drink, which is just like coffee.