The Secret to a Happy Marriage!

[dairyfreelife]

How do you have a happy marriage? Jolene decided to offer up the one special secret because she's just so damn smart and we all want to know the secret, don't we?

So what is it, you ask? Three simple words: Die to Self

Die to your pride.

Die to your rights.

Die to your desires.

Die to your entitlement

It's all you need to do and you will have a marriage that lasts until the end of time!

joleneengle.org/2012/07/1-secret-to-great-marriage.html

[Deleted07]

riiiight... so just buy a blowup doll and a doormat, it seems its all these jerks really need or want. *eyeroll*

[Swamptribe]

I take it these rules are for the woman in the marriage. So, basically, this means he married a nothing. Wow, nice guy.

[nokidsmom]

Kills me how these fundie wife/SAHD claim to "know the secret". It's always along the lines of submission, focus on your headship's needs / wants, always have him call the shots so he can feel manly, yadda, yadda. All for the husband, but nothing for the wife and she's supposed to be OK with it.

[Burris]

LOL! Those aren't the secrets to a happy marriage. (I remember your other thread about this, wherein you asked if marriage really is as hard as the fundies say.)

From my own experience, and the experience of the other long, happy marriages I've seen, the “secrets†are good communication – and this includes after an argument, so you can set things right quickly and before they have a chance to fester – as well as good humor and a willingness to forgive one another for the human foibles that hobble us all. (It also helps to think of most things as “ours†- and that includes rights – as opposed to thinking of everything as “yours†or “mineâ€.)

“Dying†doesn't really help a marriage at all.

ETA: Indeed, consistent respect. It's such a 'given' that I failed to add it before another poster mentioned it.

[Anxious Girl]

And here I though a successfull marriage was based on a couple's ability to support each other in times of need and to respect each other and love each other equally. Guess I was completely wrong! :roll:

[Witsec7]

I obviously got it all wrong. No wonder I spent the morning with my divorce atny. :roll:

[Maggie Mae]

My boyfriend HATES it when I say anything like "I don't care, what would you like?" or "I'll have whatever drink your are making yourself." It's actually annoying, because sometimes, I really don't have a preference for dinner. My point is, though, that in my experience, most men want women who can make their own decisions. If I came to him asking what kind of toilet paper to buy or what kind of fabric softer, he'd probably find someone else.

What kind of men want women who can't make a decision? Die to self? Whatever.

[doggie]

I keep thinking that fundies think the bible was written in the 1950's and forgot it was written in another era for a far different culture. They forgot marriage in the biblical age was not about love or or Jesus or choice. it was about children and business and a way to get rid of female daughters and get paid for it.

[emmiedahl]

The advice to wives sounds a lot like New Testament advice to slaves: "All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered. 2Those who have believing masters should not show them disrespect just because they are fellow believers. Instead, they should serve them even better because their masters are dear to them as fellow believers and are devoted to the welfare of their slaves."

[notacleverpony]

Die to your pride.

Die to your rights.

Die to your desires.

Die to your entitlement.

Or you can skip a few steps, pop a couple of cyanide capsules and just die. What a timesaver! [/sarcasm]

[stairway to heaven]

The sad part is I actually knew a beautiful young woman that got caught up in this sick crap. Eight kids and a divorce that took FOUR fricking years to get rid of the asshole she married. God is good though as I know he did jail time for a contempt of court charge for not paying child support. :clap:

[fundiefan]

I pretty much died to all those things while married. Not intentionally, but I lost every part of myself that *I* respected and trusted. Over the years, I totally died to myself.

I got divorced because of it.

More than three years later, I'm still trying to find the parts of myself that matter but were lost.

To see fundie women promote this insane shit makes my stomach turn.

[salsa]

riiiight... so just buy a blowup doll and a doormat, it seems its all these jerks really need or want. *eyeroll*

A blow-up doll can't clean the kitchen. However, she might do a good job of making sure children are prevented from thinking for themselves.