A Homeschoolers Realizations about College...

[Deleted07]

I stumbled across this blog post today:

ramblingsbyemily.wordpress.com/2012/06/26/homeschooling_vs_college_differences/

and I thought you guys might be interested. I myself was very interested in how candid this girl was in the realizations she came to going to college after being homeschooled:

I can go on less sleep than my parents. I would get up before my Dad (who was attending the college with me) and go to bed after he had been in bed. More than once I had to wake Dad up in the mornings.

Homeschooling is nothing compaired to college. The school work, classes and everything are totally different. In highschool, I would do 5 hours of work in a day. In college, I would be in classes for over 4 hours and then have 3 hours of homework. And more during exam time.

I have some sort of version of ADD. I would have such a hard time sitting still for an hour class. Some days I would have to get up and go for a walk during the 5 minute break we had. While being homeschooled there is a lot of getting up and moving around.I never realized how much!

I am extremely anti-social. In between most classes I would sit at my desk while everyone else talked. I would also sit by myself in the back row at the first of the year. Eventually I made my way to sit with different girls, but it took a lot of time.

Just goes to show you how really ill prepared a lot of these homeschoolers are. Unable to handle real life, or schools, outside of their Fundie bubble... I was disappointed to read that she dropped out of college after 1 semester and that she really didn't have a reason for why. It seems she is in a lost state right now, but from her words it seems she is slowly coming to a lot of realizations about her life and things she has to learn.

but I know I will learn a lot..... about how to deal with people, life, and different things…

and then of course the fundie sucks her back in:

Lately I’ve been wondering about God’s Will for me. But I’ve come to the conclusion that if God has opened a door for me (and if it is not for me He will shut the door. Who can open a door God shuts? He is God!) and as long as He is in the center of it all and glorified and I am willing to accept His plans as the only plan for me – then I will be just fine.

I’ve realised that just because I think something is God’s will for me… it doesn’t mean it is.

So its sad to think shes struggling, and that she could go either way.

Just thought you all would find this interesting and would make for an interesting discussion.

[gustava]

Having taught a fair number of home-schooled students, I've seen them on both sides. However, it ain't God's will, honey; it's your will.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

The one about not talking to anyone is just sad. This is pretty much exactly what every homeschooler I've known has gone through, when they get into the "real world."

I wonder why she only went for one semester, and is now going to community college.

[aubrietta]

That is super sad, and quite similar to my sister's experience. After 10 grades of homeschooling she went to public school and really, really struggled. She did a two year program at a community college, but found it too difficult and didn't complete it. I think she also struggles with some sort of undiagnosed learning challenges - these types of things often slip through the cracks when you're home schooled.

I also went to public school after 10 grades of homeschooling, but I found it to be much too easy, and switched to the honors and advanced placement track. I also had no trouble in my post-secondary program.

[Deleted07]

Yeah, its so sad for me to think of someone not being able to relate to anyone and feeling so 'lost' as she seems to be right now. I wonder if the poor thing even has anyone to talk to about her feelings? But of course these poor girls are told to only be positive and joyous and anything depressing or negative just gets let go off, but swallow the sadness enough, its going to come out somehow, somewhere in a very negative way!

I really can't see any reason for her to of not stayed on at college, other than her ill-preparedness and social awkwardness, but she could have got there by trying etc... Unless of course the parents didn't approve. Which I am guessing is the reason.

This is all I could find about it on the blog:

So after a prolonged grade 12 (I took an extra year to finish up some extra courses. But I graduated in 2010. Homeschooling has it’s upsides and downsides) I officially finished May 2011. I had already been accepted to the school I wanted and we has moved not far from it.

I was at school there for 1 semester before I dropped out.

Don’t ask me why. I just did.

I decided to not go back to bible school.

(sic)

:-(

[Deleted07]

OOh Just reading back some more and found:

ramblingsbyemily.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/community-colleges-vs-university-vs-nothing-at-all/What do I want?

I don’t want to be the full-time working women who never has time for church, ministries, a husband, hanging with christian friends, reading for fun, photography, and lots of other things.

And who know, by the time I get all my schooling in, the job I get might be totally horrible and I wasted over $100,000′s of the governments money that I have to repay.

Doesn’t sound good to me.

So what I’m going to be doing is something I know I will love doing. Sure, I might work a day job that I hate, but I won’t be putting out thousands of dollars to do it. Doesn’t sound logical to me.

Plus, the woman is suppose to be a help meet (Gen 2:18) for the man, not a full provider.

Yes, I know that means I would have to get married in order to be a help meet. And I know that I may not even get married and I will have to support myself somehow. But I think I made this point already – why waste money to make it?

I am just beginning to think about that concept.

[bananacat]

I'm tired of everyone claiming they have ADD just because they get bored and restless sometimes. We all have occasional trouble sitting through hour-long classes, and I would imagine it could be even more difficult for someone who hasn't practiced that. But ADD is a real diagnosis that real people really struggle with. It's not the latest trendy accessory that you self-diagnose because you get fidgety.

[Miss M]

Wait, WTF, she and her Dad were attending college together??

"I can go on less sleep than my parents. I would get up before my Dad (who was attending the college with me) and go to bed after he had been in bed. More than once I had to wake Dad up in the mornings."

That seems all kinds of odd!

M.

[Deleted07]

I'm tired of everyone claiming they have ADD just because they get bored and restless sometimes. We all have occasional trouble sitting through hour-long classes, and I would imagine it could be even more difficult for someone who hasn't practiced that. But ADD is a real diagnosis that real people really struggle with. It's not the latest trendy accessory that you self-diagnose because you get fidgety.

Yeah I was thinking that too with her, that it probably isn't ADD (of course we can't judge that) but if even she can recognize that she never actually sat down quiet doing work on her own for hours like they do in school without a distraction. Then its clearly just the conditioning and schooling she had, that didn't enable her to sit and do that like most kids in the average school classroom would have learned to do without the distractions of other siblings and home goings on that she had while homeschooling.

[JMarie]

Dna attended NBBI.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

I'm tired of everyone claiming they have ADD just because they get bored and restless sometimes. We all have occasional trouble sitting through hour-long classes, and I would imagine it could be even more difficult for someone who hasn't practiced that. But ADD is a real diagnosis that real people really struggle with. It's not the latest trendy accessory that you self-diagnose because you get fidgety.

I agree with you but I think it may be valid for her because, as someone mentioned, these things slip through the cracks with homeschooling.

Even if she doesn't have ADD, I can also see the tendency of many homeschooling parents to tailor the material to the child's whims just not teaching her how to focus on one thing that long.

ETA: EF beat me to it.

[Loveday]

Wait, WTF, she and her Dad were attending college together??

"I can go on less sleep than my parents. I would get up before my Dad (who was attending the college with me) and go to bed after he had been in bed. More than once I had to wake Dad up in the mornings."

That seems all kinds of odd!

M.

That jumped right out at me, too. Was he taking the same classes with her, different classes, or just sitting in on her classes to make sure she wasn't being defrauded by anyone? :? No matter what, it does seem very odd.

[Wolfie]

I'm tired of everyone claiming they have ADD just because they get bored and restless sometimes. We all have occasional trouble sitting through hour-long classes, and I would imagine it could be even more difficult for someone who hasn't practiced that. But ADD is a real diagnosis that real people really struggle with. It's not the latest trendy accessory that you self-diagnose because you get fidgety.

This- ADD/HD and the Autism spectrum are way too trendy as self diagnosis right now. (I have a diagnosis myself, and it is not an excuse, the diagnosis is really good to know why you do things the way you do so you can learn to function in society, work and school because you know why you are what you are.)

[Wolfie]

Wait, WTF, she and her Dad were attending college together??

"I can go on less sleep than my parents. I would get up before my Dad (who was attending the college with me) and go to bed after he had been in bed. More than once I had to wake Dad up in the mornings."

That seems all kinds of odd!

M.

It didn't seem to odd to me, as my grandma went back to school with my uncle. But she was there for herself, not to keep track of my uncle.

[mockingbird]

So wait, did she switch from Bible college to community college? If so that might actually be a step up... is NBBI even accredited?

I think it's weird that her dad was going to class with her but I'm not really surprised. At least it seems like she challenged herself in college and that is a good thing. She also seems decently self-aware.

I haven't met any homeschoolers IRL, but I imagine a child's level of adjustment would depend on whether the parents were too inclusionary - I think doing outside extracurriculars (like community sports teams), co-ops, taking classes at the community college during high school, etc. would all be good for learning how to function in a classroom and with peers.

[dawn9476]

It's pretty sad that a fundie homeschooler can't even handle a bible college that is filled with like-minded people.

[CanadianHippie]

That jumped right out at me, too. Was he taking the same classes with her, different classes, or just sitting in on her classes to make sure she wasn't being defrauded by anyone? :? No matter what, it does seem very odd.

It also seems odd that she was more responsible about it than her dad...

[BravaAmica]

thank you for posting this blog. I often wonder about the homeschooled kids I know and how they will adapt to college. They are quite well educated- one can sight read Latin and Attic Greek- but are part of an insular co-op. Every one that attends the co-op is white, upper middle class [except for the token international adoptees in the larger families] and attends the same denomination of church. I've asked about the older kids and how they handle going to college. I've gotten answers like, "College isn't for everyone... well, we're waiting until he's a little older and then he'll start... she's only doing a two year degree, but she's doing it at her own pace..."

It just seems like a waste of time to make sure your kid can translate Virgil and Plato or has read all the Classics yet not have the chops to make it in university.

[BravaAmica]

Having taught a fair number of home-schooled students, I've seen them on both sides. However, it ain't God's will, honey; it's your will.

Have you ever had a homeschooled student who made a good transition into public education? Was it someone who'd been homeschooled her/his entire life or someone who was homeschooled briefly?

[mama_bear]

I've taught a few homeschoolers and the results were mixed in terms of how well they did in my class. Two stand out because their experiences seemed so opposite. The first was an excellent student in terms of classwork and was fine at doing group projects, etc. She seemed more mature than some of her classmates-I would have initially guessed her age as a little older. She didn't chat a great deal with her classmates before class but other than that no problems. We talked about it once and she had some homeschooling and some public school.

The second student objected to multiple choice tests (he hadn't had to do them), did not relate well to other students in class and would become agitated if they did not agree with his viewpoint. Any time I used an example that dealt with public school he would raise his hand to make the point that it did not apply to him because he was homeschooled.

Most of the homeschooled students I've had have fallen somewhere in between these two examples. It does seem like most of them have had a mix of homeschooling and public school.

DD's girl scout leader homeschools both of her kids and they seem to move in a wide range of social circles. Homeschooling is pretty common in my area and so if you want I think that makes it possible to interact with a lot of different people.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

As for her dad going, at one point my nuclear family had me, my mom, and my brother all taking classes for different degrees at the same university. It doesn't mention they are in the same classes so he could be going for a higher degree while she is getting a bachelor's.

[Little_Eyes]

As a former homeschooler, I think a distinction must be made between the SOTDRT and the epic awesomeness of other forms of homeschooling a la ClibbyJo and many, many others on FJ. While I agree a transition must be made, I assert that much of what she experienced would be similar to what any High Schooler might experience, especially in terms of workload and study time. A lot of her personal experiences must have been influenced by her lifestyle.

Speaking personally, my own transition to college was hard, but that was because I got spoiled by being able to go to school in my nightdress. The getting up and dressed was actually hardest, for me. I think your average homeschooler has the upper hand in things like being able to get work done, working independently, and such things. All in all, I've observed that your average homeschooler is actually pretty driven and naturally inquisitive.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

My husband only went to college in his late 40's, after a full career working in a warehouse (which eventually shut down). It happens. Kids of our friends were going to the same school at the same time. History class was interesting.

When I was getting a masters' degree and living in a graduate student dorm, the guy across the hall from me was a freshman but was allowed to live in our dorm because he was 45 (had worked as a meatcutter before that) and just... didn't fit in so well with the 18 year olds in the "normal" dorm.

If Dad was attending independently, it's rare (and often gets good press!) but not too weird. If Dad was there to chaperone somehow, THAT is outright weird.

[aubrietta]

As a former homeschooler, I think a distinction must be made between the SOTDRT and the epic awesomeness of other forms of homeschooling a la ClibbyJo and many, many others on FJ. While I agree a transition must be made, I assert that much of what she experienced would be similar to what any High Schooler might experience, especially in terms of workload and study time. A lot of her personal experiences must have been influenced by her lifestyle.

Speaking personally, my own transition to college was hard, but that was because I got spoiled by being able to go to school in my nightdress. The getting up and dressed was actually hardest, for me. I think your average homeschooler has the upper hand in things like being able to get work done, working independently, and such things. All in all, I've observed that your average homeschooler is actually pretty driven and naturally inquisitive.

LOL, this is the thing my mom and fought about pretty much ever single day, as she insisted we be dressed, have eaten breakfast and be at sitting at our desks - we had our own desks, not the dining room table - by 8:30 am every morning. I thought this was insane, and didn't see why I couldn't wear my pajamas and start at 9, or 10, just so long as I got the work done. My mom won, and instilled a good work ethic that served me well when I went on to public highschool and post-secondary.

[lilwriter85]

I know three families that homeschooled. Two of the families were secular homeschoolers and the third family was fundite lite. From the fundie lite family, one of the kids went to a 4 year college and he did ok transitioning. He said it took him awhile to get used to having 70-100 other students around him. He said also had to learn how to socialize in a learning environment. The other two sons from that fundie lite family went to trade schools. As for the secular families, I know a couple of kids from one of the families had some socialization issues. One of the secular families enrolled their kids in community colleges during high school. Once each kid turned 16 or 17, the parents signed them up for a few general ed, art, or language classes. The kids in that family said that the classes at the community college helped them out in the long run.

One of my older brothers attended a small college in the early 90s. He told me about a former homeschooler that he took a few classes with. This homeschooler was a female who was raised by religious family. My brother never knew the specifics of the young women's religion. My guess is that she was fundie lite. He said that she had a hard time learning to go to scheduled classes. She told my brother that she wasn't used to having set schedules. One of the classes that she took with my bro was geology and the real cray cray went down in the class. She almost got into a fight with the professor because she didn't agree with geological correlations and she said that it was against God. The homeschooler left the college after one year.

I think the transitions for homeschoolers into college depends on different factors. I think a lot of homeschoolers whose families have good curriculum, and who are very social will do ok in transitioning. I do worry for some of these fundie or fundie lite homeschooled kids. I can see some of those ones have trouble in college setting. I don't see someone like Miss Raquel doing well in college.