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  1. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! It's been another long time away, as the Sims 4 Seasons update messed with my game (and also I got married!). But we're back! And it's starting to get crazy. First, let's have an update on Elsie! She actually had a great year and was promoted to caterer! Yay! Now she works 3pm-11pm which works SO much better than overnights for her single-mom life. Elsie continues to live a less-fundie lifestyle, and during one of Romano's naps, even googled herself and found her way to internet forums!!!!! See you on FJ, Elsie! For the Edens proper, the first thing you should know is that due to the Sims 4 update messing with my mods Edens' pastor proclaiming bunk beds are of Say-un (no one can see what's going on in that top bunk!), the bedrooms were re-configured, with Elsie's old room becoming a toddler nursery. The second thing you should (already) know is that the Edens can't keep their legs closed. #12 is on its way! The Edens were very busy in year 14/2023. Eva's efforts were focused not on her children, but on writing "Queen of her Castle: How to train up daughters with servant hearts so that Mama can rest." Notice Genesis potty-training a little, Numbers doing laundry, and Deuteronomy practicing the violin as Eva ignores them all to write. (Also Ruth is dancing half-naked. You go Ruth!) Well, sadly Ruth (#8) turned 4 years old and had to put on clothes and start the SOTDRT. This inquisitive little cherub is now a budding art-lover growing her hair out for her daddy Nathan Bates Jesus. The Edens had another big birthday later in the year. Goofy Exodus (#2) turned 12 which is the start of teenage years for our Edens! He has matured into a good and good-looking, if rather-boring, adolescent who loves children, and will surely take heart pieces in the future. Lastly on the birthday train, baby Chronicles (#11), born on Halloween of the previous year, grew into a charming toddler full of absolute spirit. I cannot WAIT for this one to grow up, y'all! Like seriously. What are the other kids up to? Leviticus (#3) holds unsuccessful youth groups in his continued attempts to be a little preacher, Deuteronomy (#5) likes it when her daddy reads to her, and boy does he have a soft-spot for his cheerful and sweet fundie princess, and all the kids love when Elsie comes to visit. (Notice bookworm Judges (#7) still reading). Especially Genesis. As you may have guessed from the blog title, she's having a rough year. Being 13 is usually the pits, and Genesis is a 13 year-old sister-mom who cooks, cleans, and child trains, all while focusing on her violin training (actual passion) and (not really) keeping up with home-schooling. PLUS she's expected to keep sweet for all of this AND all of her "best friends" are her siblings. YIKES! The countenance is beginning to break. Actually the countenance exploded, and Genesis had a legit meltdown. "I HATE THIS FAMILY! I just want to watch Harry Potter and go to the mall like a NORMAL PERSON!!" "Now Genesis honey, what would Jesus say about your disposition right now? Are you J-O-Y-ing?" While Genesis was out of commission reflecting on her life, Exodus stepped up, deigning to cook mac and cheese and reading to the littles. This weird thing also happened when both Exodus and Elsie tried to teach Samuel how to stack blocks. Deuteronomy had no comment. After giggling with Exodus watching something on a NOT flip phone of shame *gasp* And remembering that people who watched Harry Potter were going to Hell, Genesis was back to her old self. But...the tiniest cracks remain. Will they be enough to get Genesis out of fundie-land? We will all find out in several Sims years. Until next time, Edens out!
  2. mango_fandango

    Fundie Sims

    Slight link to the previous Sims Fundie Legacy thread, but also separate. Because I've spent a long time browsing FJ and playing The Sims, they've started to merge into one. As in, Sims for fundies. Create your own little fundie families. IDEAS: Skirts of differing length e.g. knees covered, midi, maxi. Baby girls are born bald, but you choose a headband at birth. Or whatever. Hairstyles for older girls: long and Gothard-level crunchy curls, straight, whatever. Ribbon or flower pretty much mandated for kids. Flower headband optional for teens. Scheduling. You can schedule homeschool time, and also choose when individual Bible time/family Bible time is. The only downside would be that if you scheduled the entire day a la Erika Shupe and Teri Maxwell you'd just be watching the Sims play out their lives as if Free Will was off. I know Free Will technically is off for fundies but they should have some kind of free time. Or, if you don't want to schedule the day at all apart from Family Bible time, each school-aged kid has a list of lessons/individual Bible reading which are ticked off when they're done, you can choose when to do them. Courtship would be interesting too. Maybe courting-eligible Sims could go to some kind of "fellowship" thing and meet others. Maybe there could be a pop-up like "Looks like Simon Smith is interested in Anna Jones! Maybe he should pray to see if she's the right one for him" or something. When going out you choose a location and your chaperones. Weddings would be huge-scale. Choose from modest gowns. Select your bridesmaids/flower girls/whatever. Design their outfits (all bridesmaids will automatically wear the same outfit or you could do an Alyssa and have half wear one colour and the other half another). NPCs could be other fundies or "unsaved" Sims who the fundies can proselytise to. Housing-wise you could have a Duggar-sized mansion, a Shupe-style Hamster Cage or a Rodrigues-style RV. Clothing misc: everyday, formal (worn for church), athletic (with skirts for girls, natch), swimwear (either Wholesome-style or more like Shupe-style), outdoor gear (girls can have salopettes or could have long skirts if they're really modest like the Maxwells). Separate tab for those all-important family group shots: decide what the women will wear and the men. You could do it oldschool-Maxwell style and have everyone wear the same-design frumper or just specify "blue tops, beige skirts" or whatever and the Sim would just automatically select clothing. Not sure how I'd do jobs. Families who live in RVs could grift/do music concerts or whatever.
  3. Hi everyone first time posting have been lurking for a long time I just had a thought to create a Duggar Legacy on sims 4. If anyone plays Sims 4 and would be interested in helping me make one that would be great Also not sure where to post this, so i am hoping this is the right place. This is what I have so far: The Sims 4 Duggacy: Duggar Legacy Objective: Parents must have 19 children before they die. Family rules: General: - All children must have the same first initial - Every family member must a family aspiration and be family orientated - Children, teens, young adults cannot have access to computer except for building skills until they are courting Courting: - No dating aloud until they are courting “ask to be girlfriend/boyfriend†- No holding hands or being alone together until engaged – must have a chaperone Engagement: - No kissing, making out or woo-hoo before marriage Marriage: - Once married you must not use any protection whilst woo-hooing, only try for baby Attire for females: - Hair must be long, curly and wavy - All women must wear knee length or longer skirts at all times Attire for men: - Must wear pants at all times - Must always wear a shirt General attire: - Someone who marries into the family must change their attire to the Duggar standards if moving into the legacy home - No clothing with logos - No tattered or distressed clothes Goals Points Give birth to one child +1 Give birth to twins +4 Give birth to triplets +6 Child enters courtship +1 Child gets engaged +1 Child gets married +1 Male child reaches top of career +10 Kick child out to make room for more children +1
  4. Wow! Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue after a long time away! Grad school was pretty crazy for me this spring but it's so good to be back! A LOT has happened in year 13 for the Edens. It started with Judges's birthday. Genesis, now a fully-fledged sister mom, made his cake (of course). Judges was an inquisitive toddler and now he is a little bookworm! Let's see if he keeps to the approved texts! (P.S. The first time I wrote this section I called Judges (#7) Samuel (#9). The kids are starting to become interchangeable. Thank Rufus I have a key for which kid is wearing which color!) Though the Edens are getting to be a PITA for ME, they are still functioning remarkably well. The kids keep up with their homeschooling and their chores (even unasked), and the family still manages to eat dinner together sometimes. The siblings get along well, especially the eldest boys, and after work Adam enjoys playing on his new woodworking bench. As I said months ago, the Edens are doing a really bad job revealing the dangers of fundamentalism from the outside. Most of the time. Life was not so idyllic for the Tobiaseses. Romano aged up into an adorable angelic munchkin, but his parents were not. happy. Elsie couldn't believe that she had followed all those stupid patriarchal rules and gave up her adolescence to serve her sister's family, all to experience infertility (based on the number of tries it took to conceive to Romano that's totally what was happening - though that may of actually been a blessing in disguise in terms of her union with Cale) AND be married to a guy who is lazy, literally insane and supposed to have authority her. Fornicate that noise. Cale decided that if he couldn't do whatever he wanted as whoever this "headship" thing was without a wife yelling at him, then he really didn't want to do it anymore. And they divorced. Cale kept the house, as he did buy it. Elsie Johnson got most of the money, sole custody of Romano, and her name back. She used the money from the divorce to buy herself a beautiful 3 bed 2 bath home in the Edens' neighborhood. They didn't have a ton of money for furnishings, so the house felt a little empty, but they did have each other. (And potty training.) Still, it was hard. Elsie was sad about the divorce and her questions about IFB teachings. Really sad. After when Romano (who is now going by Romeo because the cheese reference is just too painful) was sleeping she would call the sadness hotline. And as if that weren't enough, the married Edens showed up on her doorstep. Like the horny judgy couple they were. "Go back to Dad's Elsie, or come home with us. You shouldn't be living by yourself, with a kid and unmarried." "No, I'm working at the restaurant now. I'm a strong independent woman and I don't need no man." (Okay, mayyybe I added that last part in) "How independent are you if Romano sleeps at our house when you work nights?" (And I said...bitch??????) "Well I really appreciate you guys taking him overnight but I guess I'll put him in daycare then, with the smelly and unlovely heathens." "Fine, he can keep coming over. Take care of yourself." "Fine. Thank you. How do you keep your arms so slender after so many babies?" Eva did not answer that and Elsie went to her gorgeous new bedroom after this exchange to weep. (She actually did, even though this picture shows her sleeping) And yes, Elsie works nights still. She's working as hard as she can for a promotion which will change her work schedule. And tries to stay as close as possible to Romano even when she needs to nap. But I think they're going to be ok. Meanwhile, back at the Edens, Joshua attempted unsuccessfully to "save" a girl with NO PANTS AT ALL, which is way worse than wearing regular sluttish pants. Nike for real. And Kings (baby #10, remember him?) grew into a clingy toddler, Just before Eva and Adam welcomed blessing #11 into the world, little Chronicles, on Halloween on the Eve of All Saint's Day at the end of October. Everyone was SO EXCITED to meet her! ("Deuteronomy! Countenance now!") And we just can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for her! Thanks for being patient and for reading all of this if you got this far. Until next time, Edens out!
  5. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! This one is a doozy. First of all, managing a home of 11-12 Edens has gotten a little crazy for Eva (and me!!!!). And as the Edens are so blessed by the Lord, the baby-making train shows no sign of stopping anytime soon. To help Eva keep sweet, the Edens grifted $7000 for a home expansion. Priorities- a third bathroom/second laundry room with second tub for the little ones, and a school room. As a result of the expansion, the boys and girls dormitories were slightly expanded as well. (Elsie's room remains intact though it is currently un-used) Additional items for family enrichment were also added to the backyard. Lastly, the Edens redecorated their living room with the MOST IMPORTANT verse of the Bible (KING JAMES of course), Genesis 1:28 "be fruitful and multiply." And boy have the Edens listened! A HUGE milestone for the Edens occured in June 2021, as the 10th little Eden, baby boy Kings, arrived. Welcome to the world Kings! We can't wait to see what the Lord --- yeah ok. Check out the swarming main floor! (2 Edens not shown) In the above picture you can also see Eva writing her latest manifesto, "Homebirthin' - the natural, easy, God-given way to bear quivers for Christ." Genesis had to clear her mind after witnessing the latest God-given no-drugs home delivery at age 12. Look how non-sluttish Genesis is, even while she works out. What a great example she is for her new children younger siblings. Speaking of new children...there is drama in the extended family. As you may recall, Elsie and Cale FINALLY received an incoming blessing from the Lord in their third year of marriage. Here, Elsie experiences the easy, blessed, Christ-honoring HomeBirth for the first time. And it's a boy!! What a blessing a first-born son is. Welcome to world little Romano! We can't wait to see- wait - Romano??? Isn't that the name of a cheese? Well. Though mama and baby are healthy, I still have some sad news for everyone. The courtship model did NOT serve Elsie and Cale well. Never able to speak in private before the wedding, Elsie did not learn that Cale was INSANE until after she was transferred to his authority. What's possibly even worse is that his life aspiration is...GRILLED CHEESE. I am not making this up. NO THANK YOU MAXIS for making that a life aspiration and for giving it to an already questionable townie. So, Cale is insane, all he cares about in life is grilled cheese, and he's been given authority over Elsie via a fundie marriage ceremony. So he named the baby Romano. He's hoping for a Brie next. Elsie was hoping that a baby would bring Cale down to reality, but this naming business was the last straw. All Elsie could do after labor was aggressively chop tomatoes and call Genesis over to break the tension. FREE ELSIE. Take Romano with you and RUN. Now before you get too sad, Elsie and Romano have been spending more time with the Edens lately. It may not be entirely fundie-realistic, but I need more for Elsie than a loveless marriage with an unpleasant man and I know you do too (seriously, Cale sucks and I didn't realize it). Keep your hopes up for 2022. But let's return to the Edens proper so we don't get too sad before we go. Samuel, #9, aged into a fussy toddler (YAY) with a surfer's hairdo before #10 made his arrival. And after #10 arrived, Adam and Eva were somehow able to enjoy a newly-wed moment in the kitchen. While their 9 other children slept upstairs! I really don't know how they do it! Oh yeah, and Eva's pregnant again. Because of course she is. Well friends, I apologize that this wasn't the funniest of blog posts, but it IS realistic. Looking forward to further expansions and the rescuing of a beloved sister next year, Edens out! Stay tuned!!
  6. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We've been away for a while, but now we're back with an eventful year 11 in the Eden saga. Leviticus began 2020 in a "bear phase" which is SEVERELY testing his fundie parents. (Though at least it's not a "unicorn phase" or something) Here, Eva experiences the trials of a large family as she tries to feed and dress her brood in time for church. It takes a good 2 hours plus one bear-less Leviticus in tears. Ah what a beautiful Sunday at True Believer's Baptist Church. We are surely in store for an uplifting message of loving thy neighbors whom are destined for Hell The wholesome gang's all here (baby Ruth not pictured)...including Elsie and Cale! And Elsie has a SHOCKING UPDATE for the Edens... She's expecting!!!!! Eva is of course, WAY more pregnant with her 9TH BLESSING, and Elsie is only in her first trimester with her first *cough Jill* but what a SWEET SISTER BUMP PIC they took together! God is so good!!! Eva and Adam also celebrated their 10th anniversary! "I just want to thank the Lord for his greatest blessing to me- my wonderful husband Adam. He works so hard for our family and leads us all closer to Lord. He's a great daddy and also not bad to look at! I thank the Lord for you honey and hope for many wonderful years together! -Eva" "Happy anniversary Eva! How many kids do we have now? -Adam" 8 Adam. You have 8 children now. Just kidding Adam! You now have 9 children! Welcome to the world baby Samuel! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! Precious baby Ruth aged up to an inquisitive toddler just in the nick of time. She and the next youngest, Judges, will probably be very good friends (both curious) until she has to be trained up as a lady. Enjoy childhood while it lasts Ruth! Come on, give us a smile! She's so precious. Ohh! That looks like the face of a fundie who just found out she's been blessed by the Lord again! Get prepared for child 10 Adam! That should be an easy number to remember. A pregnant Elsie visited the Edens to celebrate Joshua's birthday! This angelic, forgotten toddler is now a good, forgotten 4 year-old. Happy birthday Joshua! Mommy and daddy love you so much, even if they don't know who you are! As a minor detail, some of the children went to the park and curious little Judges got to be king of his own world for a moment. Free Judges! But back to the main story, it was getting rough y'all. 9 kids and another on the way. Messes, fights, diapers, the inexorable piles of laundry...something had to be done. Congratulations Genesis! For your 11th birthday we got you...a toddler! That's right! Precious first-born Genesis is being promoted to sister-mom and given a buddy of her very own- little 1yr-old Ruth. This was earlier than intended of course, but Genesis is just so mature for her age. And she loves it too! Plus Mama Eva is just far too busy with unsafe diaper changes to have time for her second-youngest. (Or third. Or fourth. Or...) What a servant's heart you have Genesis! Lastly, Leviticus' budding preacher's heart has been somewhat hampered by his latest fashion choices, but he's not letting that discourage him. "Hey Billie- for no reason at all, what's your favorite kind of cake? Also if you don't come back to youth group we're going to have to pray for your soul" - Leviticus, probably And that's a wrap on 2020/year 11. Everyone still gets to sleep at the same time, and there's only 4 children in each room, even if newly-minted sister-mom Genesis (age 11) is sharing with 1-yr old Ruth. They just insisted on sharing. How precious. Coming up in year 12- which Johnson sister will have their baby first and will Billie ever block Leviticus' number?! For now, Eden's out!
  7. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! I'll be honest...it was a rough year. Fortunately this means there were no dentist visits involved, but yeah the Eden facade is beginning to crack. Since it's year 10 though, let's first have a little recap of where the Edens have been. To start, Eva Johnson married Adam Eden in January of 2010 when they were both 20 years old. Adam works for the blessed company Hobby Lobby, and has been regional manager for the last 5ish years. Eva is manager of her home, except when Adam says otherwise of course! (Though he's a pretty hands-off headship.) Eva also runs a successful blog that serves as encouragement to other like-minded godly women, and brings in modest supplemental income. Finally, Adam and Eva grow their own fruits and vegetables, which has been such a blessing during those time the Edens are too poor or too lazy to feed their children. Ahem. Adam and Eva were so excited and blessed by a honeymoon baby, Genesis, in Oct 2010. She was a fussy toddler, but has since been training to be a godly future wife and mother who loves to glorify the Lord through instrumental praise. Eva was so blessed to have Irish twins when first-born son Exodus arrived Sept 2011. He was a silly little kid, who wishes he could still be a goofball, but since he's 8 its now time for him to put away childish things and take up the mantle of fundie princedom. Second son Leviticus was born Nov 2012. He craves attention, and went from a clingy toddler to an outgoing young man (age 7) whose heart burns to turn others towards Christ. His parents are praying that Leviticus will become a preacher, and if he does we may have a brotherly fight for dominant Eden offspring. After Leviticus, second daughter Numbers was born Feb 2014. She was an independent toddler and now an introverted child. While this is very helpful to the Edens right now, she will never find a man that way, so we will see how long she's allowed to do her own thing. While Eva was pregnant with Numbers, her teen sister Elsie moved in to the Eden household to help Eva manage the growing quiver. She was valued above rubies, and has a particularly close relationship with Leviticus, whom she basically raised into school-age. Elsie met Cale in the summer of 2014 and began getting-to-know him, entered into a courtship Dec 2016, was engaged Nov 2017, and fulfilled her godly destiny by becoming his helpmeet in March 2018 at age 20 (Cale 21). The Lord and food brought this couple together, so it is no surprise that Cale is a food critic. However, it is surprising that Elsie is cooking in a restaurant, and they have no children yet!!! Pray for them. The younger set of G-B-B-G Edens (fundies love patterns!) began with Deuteronomy in May 2015. What a precious girl she is. A charming toddler, and as you will learn in 2019, now a cheerful lass with a servant's heart. She makes her parents so proud with her mild demeanor and feminine appearance. Third son Joshua arrived June 2016. He is an angelic toddler who rarely cries, and turns to his siblings for everything since his parents barely know who he is. Then came the largest gap between children (16 whole months!!!) before fourth son Judges was born Oct 2017. He is inquisitive and, like Joshua, mostly left to his own devices, which is honestly the best scenario for a curious fundie child. Finally, precious baby Ruth was born Jan 2019 and is apple of her mother's eye. With that, let's report on the happenings of 2019! None of the younger Edens were happy about little Ruth, and the bad behavior followed quickly and furiously. The courting bench quickly became the timeout bench, and was put to good use. Beyond assigning punishment, Adam and Eva didn't really care and got right back to enjoying that sweet, sweet, unprotected fellowship. Leviticus is being a PItA tempted by Satan, and it seems Ruth is about to be replaced by a New Blessing due early in the new year!!! Praise Jesus!!! (sorry Ruth) Over at the Tobiaseseses, Cale and Elsie were also working on their sweet fellowship. They tried for a baby, but were unsuccessful. Still no word on whether Cale and Elsie had trouble getting going in the intimacy department, are experiencing fertility problems or are preventing, but people are definitely talking about the state of her womb now. (And even I don't know the truth!) While there have been too many tantrums to count, and possible infertility or rebellion for a beloved sister, the Edens also had two great triumphs in 2019 in addition to a new fetus. The first is that charming Deuteronomy grew into a cheerful 4-year-old who loves to look feminine and do dishes. Adam and Eva are so proud of her meek and mild servant's heart, and honestly she may be the best suited to fundie life of all the kids so far! The second triumph is even more cause for rejoicing- the little Edens convinced Billie to join them for Saturday afternoon youth group at True Believer's Baptist Church! Ok, ok so they bribed her with cake, but she still came! Responsibility fell to eldest girl Genesis to testify to Billie about sin, death, and Satan's hold on both their hearts. Speaking of Satan's hold... Jesus Christ Leviticus! On church property even?!?! No more cake for you. And that's the end of 2019! Eva is about ready to pop with Precious Blessing #9, the Blessings she already has are running amok, the wee Edens are proselytizing to unlucky neighborhood kids who just wanted cake, and Eva cannot wait until Genesis can become a sister-mom. It's gotta be soon right? Enjoying a rare moment when everyone's actually asleep, Edens out!
  8. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! I had a lovely weekend with future MIL, even though I did rather miss the Edens! But honestly...there wasn't that much to miss. Following the wedding, the Edens saw Elsie a. lot. And most of the time it was because Elsie invited them! Perhaps doing life with her #bestfriend was not as perfect as Elsie had predicted. She still has her job though, and no little Tobiaseseses on the way 6 months into marriage, so both mainstream and fundie families are watching her verrry closely. Do Elsie and Cale follow a patriarchal fundie lifestyle? Is God in control of Elsie's womb? It's still anyone's guess, and Elsie and Cale aren't talking! Leviticus remains Elsie's devoted son strongest encourager, and went with the other kids to visit Elsie in her new home. He is even taking special care to bond with Elsie's new overlord headship, who was making mac&cheese when they dropped by! (Though only for himself. He may be gainfully employed but he's clearly not Derick Dillard #besthubbyever) Genesis actually had feelings for a hot sec and splattered paint in protest after they left an outing with Elsie, but those feelings were quickly squashed out of her with public punishment and manual labor. Much better! The Edens sure are training up their children in the way they should go. What an example to us all! (Though thank Rufus, no literal rod of discipline). Actually, the entire family has been really well-behaved. Granted their countenances were helped along by a sims event decreasing motive decay by 66%, but even with free will turned on the children did a lot of chores and had a lot of hugging. It was super weird. The Edens are definitely in that dangerous "look at that wholesome happy family maybe we should do what they're doing" phase. Adam and Eva have fortunately not realized their marketability, but the kids are starting to testify to other children on the playground. "Did you know Jesus hates you for wearing shorts? Come to our True Believers youth group to find out more!" Yikes. Stay far, far away girls! As far as birthdays go, Numbers (#4), the easy independent toddler, has become a "loner"/introverted preschooler. Peace be with you in that house, Numbers! And baby Judges (#7) grew into an inquisitive toddler. Eek. Good luck to you too Judges, and stay far away from blankets! The children were growing so fast, and now there were quadruple bunkbeds! And it was hilarious when Adam and Eva were actually parenting for the first time in a while and forgot whose beds were whose!! This lapse in jinder segregation was QUICKLY RECTIFIED don't you worry! And finally, at the turn of year 9 (actually the beginning of Jan year 10), Elsie came over to 66 Goodbook Avenue to help Eva deliver her 8th baby, with Genesis (age 8) assisting. It's never too early to witness life's greatest miracle! (Though Genesis did turn her head at the critical moment) Welcome to the world baby girl Ruth! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! All in all, year 9 was way too peaceful for the Edens. Either there's going to need to be a shakeup, or they'll have to start going to the dentist or something (I would never!!). Questions for year 10: will the Lord open Eva's womb again? Will the little Edens convert any heathens make any friends? Will the family ever stop being so damn pious? And where are Elsie and Cale on the fundie continuum? Hope to report on these and more next time, Edens out! (and if you made it all the way through this episode, you deserve a drink. Preferably of the KJV-banned variety)
  9. nomoxian

    Part 2

    Despite keeping Jill away from David as much as possible when Steve and Steve 2 were at work, she still liked-liked him more. Steve was too boring and the other Steve was too angry for her tastes. David and Mrs David - not Ms. thank you very much! - got married in a Godly church, and are currently waiting for God to bring them their first child. In the meantime, David is spending his days fishing in Gods green gloryness, and Mrs David is spending her time singing Godly tunes to praise Him. She hopes that God will provide a guitar and piano, though she wonders how a piano will fit in the RV since there is barely enough room for the crib. Darn Sims baby is required to sleep in a crib even though their bedroom with attached private bathroom has more than enough room for a cage. (I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this. I was playing it with the hopes she would end up with someone else, so the gameplay would be more interesting and less... real.)
  10. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! It was the start of 2018 and year 8 had ended with some truly shocking events. Baby Judges (#7) was born in October, and in December dear Elsie got engaged! Which of course means a wedding in March 2018! But first.. Wow they really waste no time, do they? Ok so baby #8 is on its way, and Genesis, all of 7 years old, is the one comforting her siblings in the middle of the night because her parents are more worried about Counting On. What a great wife and mother she'll make one day. Clearly Cale thought that about Elsie, because they're getting married!! Welcome to True Believer's Baptist Church. Their slogan is "Others will burn in Hell, but we won't!" and the Johnsons and Edens have been attending for decades. (Notice the church coffee shop that both Eva and Elsie have worked at! ) Cale may have been a little nervous but the wedding went perfectly and was such a God-honoring event! Here, Elsie and Cale share their very first kiss, one at the altar of Christ. Kissing for Jesus sure is neat! Close-up of the new Mrs. Cale Tobias in her bridal gown (shirt/skirt combo). Sadly, their town is full of sluttish women, and there is no Miss Renee, so Elsie's dress has a few more eye-traps than the Lord may have liked, but Cale sure wasn't complaining. And yes, that is a new home they're standing in! Cale and Elsie ran out of the church immediately following the ceremony, as you do, and went to the home Cale had purchased Debt Free on his part-time landscaping income. Since Cale and Elsie are both huge foodies, and have celebrated many precious moments at Chez Llama, the house is right next door in the restaurant district! In fact, they are even both starting jobs in the restaurant industry! Elsie would like to take her skills into a professional kitchen, and Cale likes complaining about food other people made so he will start as a food critic. What a match made in Heaven y'all! Their place is a cozy 2Bed/1Bath home with space to expand if the Lord should bless them and open Elsie's womb! But...I have a feeling the Lord may not have unlimited access to Elsie's womb. I don't intend to play Cale and Elsie very much, so we will have to see what their family is up to together, and how fundie they stay! Tobiaseses out! But let's check back in with the Edens for one moment. Reality comes crashing down after the wedding as Eva sits at home, pregnant, with 3 children, 3 toddlers, and 1 baby, all under the age of 8. And I just turned free will back on. Please send Eva your thoughts and prayers - she's gonna need 'em! P.S. My future MIL is visiting this weekend so while I will be discussing another wedding (that is hopefully much much different than above), the next blog post may be delayed. The Edens and I will return soon though. Thanks for tuning in! Free Elsie! -Neurogirl
  11. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! No one's life is as exciting as Elsie's right now, so this "episode" will be mainly about her. Elsie took to wearing her courtship proposal clothes following that fateful night, because they seemed lucky Providential and made Elsie feel like a pretty princess she was bringing attention to her countenance. As Elsie had joined the family when Leviticus was the baby, she was his mom has always shared a special bond with him. On his 4th birthday, she was the one to make the cake, and afterwards Elsie and now-child Leviticus shared a very precious moment. Happy birthday Leviticus! (Notice Leviticus' birth parents are nowhere in sight.) We are so glad that the Lord has turned your clingy toddler personality into an outgoing one to better share the Good News! Maybe we'll have a preacher in the family one day! With 2 adults, 1 teen, and 3 children in the family (plus 2 toddlers and 1 baby), the bathrooms were getting pretty crowded. But with the addition of bunkbeds, sleeping space was no problem! (custom content used: http://pixeldreamworld.tumblr.com/post/131973418125/basic-bunk-bed-frame-only-another-new-bunk-bed, http://pixeldreamworld.tumblr.com/post/156093289040/updated-fixed-matresses-for-bunk-beds-re, http://pixeldreamworld.tumblr.com/post/156411968190/functional-toddler-bunk-bed-frame-zero-footprint) And there was another big birthday in 2017! Elsie didn't want to make her own cake, and no one else was going to make it for her, so she celebrated her birthday at brunch with sweetheart Cale and the children. First, eldest son Exodus had to meet Cale at the door and ask for Cale's intentions towards his meek and impressionable aunt. Hmmm...does Cale look different to you? Why yes he does! I did a little research into Cale's past like any good FJ-er, and it is juicy and totally explains his descent into fundamentalism! Cale is one of only two children (how sad), and his parents are HOT MESSES. His dad is this flashy mofo who is cheating on Cale's mom, and Cale's mom is a sluttish partier. Cale's sister is also a mega harlot, and mean to boot. It's no wonder Cale wants to get out...err, turn to the Lord! Cale will have such a good testimony with his worldy background, but after being threatened by meeting with Mr. Johnson about a courtship with his daughter, Cale was convicted to lose the hair dye and look more like the upstanding Baptist male he totally always dreamed he would be. What a great birthday brunch! Elsie is richly blessed. And now both she and Cale are 20 years old! Totally adults and ready to take that next step. Or at least Elsie was. She attempted to turn Cale's heart towards marriage by inviting him over for that famous godly creation, his favorite meal, grilled cheese! Turns out, in addition to loving dogs and music, Cale is also a huge foodie! The dinner was a smashing success and since Elsie's life aspiration is to be a master chef, err submissive and meek helpmeet, they had so much to talk about! Shortly after that, in October, an entire 16 months after #6, Precious Blessing #7 arrived! Welcome to the world baby Judges! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! Except no one really cares anymore, so back to Elsie. After 11 months of seeking each other's hearts and discerning the will of the Lord through godly courtship, Cale and Elsie went back to Chez Llama. Even though their server had purple hair and pants (!!!!!gasp!!!!!), love was truly in the air...I mean, the presence of the Lord was clearly felt... And the Lord moved Cale to ask Elsie the one question she'd always dreamed of, "Will you marry me and be my helpmeet?" Since they're front-hugging she better have said yes! (She did!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Congratulations Elsie and Cale! We are so excited for y'all and can't wait to see what the Lord does in your lives together! What a precious testimony y'all are!!!1!!!11!!!! Well that's 2017 in a wrap! Oh wait. Somewhere along the way, Joshua turned one and became an ANGELIC toddler (while Adam was overcome with the Holy Spirit. Or something)! Happy birthday sweetie! Sorry we've already forgotten about you! So that's a wrap on 2017! Wedding bells and the loss of live-in servant Elsie coming to the Edens very soon. Except I won't blog about that until 2019 and one kid later. Just kidding! Stay tuned to see if Elsie can find a God-honoring t-shirt dress (don't count on it) and if the entire Eden household will fall apart without her (signs point to yes). Edens out!
  12. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We ended Year 6 with a number of burning questions and I have answers for you on all fronts! Firstly, Exodus is actually a pretty great little dude without the smugness I feared. He is diligent in his homeschooling, shares a particularly precious bond with Leviticus, and is upstanding in his walk with the Lord (whew! Had to throw Jesus in there). He is also learning how to workout from his father, who couldn't bear to witness the End Times in Spandex at the gym, so is performing calisthenics Safe At Home and getting in pretty good shape. (Genesis is doing all of the above AND a lot of cleaning, but that's her role as Godly young elementary-school girl so why mention it) Secondly, Adam realized that in order to be the Spiritual Leader of the home that he was ordained to be, he needed to spend more time with his kids. He was much more involved in Year 7, and was actually even there for the (outdoor) birth of his 6th child! (June 2016, 13 months after #5) Welcome to the world baby boy Joshua! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (And hope you don't mind having the only normal name of your siblings so far!) Speaking of siblings with weird names, Deuteronomy aged up to a toddler! Happy birthday sweetie! Very relieved that you got "charming" for your toddler personality! (Her color will be pinkish) A "good" toddler personality is no guarantee of peace though, because even good toddlers can't control their emotions all the time. Independent and obedient Numbers, the easiest kid so far, was so distressed by the addition of her newest brother that she smashed the treehouse in a fit of rage! Elsie was so embarassed that CALE, who was spending time with the family, had to witness her niece's sinful nature. (In the picture below, notice Eva coming to yell at Numbers - though not blanket-train her - and Elsie in SWEATPANTS!) Though Elsie was NIKE in her workout attire, Cale didn't seem to mind and they enjoyed time in athletic pursuits together. Elsie had of course learned her lesson, and let Cale win. Soon after Joshua's arrival, Eva and Adam hey-hey-heyed to their hearts' content with Elsie potty-training Deuteronomy the next wall over. So it should be no surprise to anyone anymore that Precious Blessing #7 is on its way!!! How neat! For those of you concerned about space issues, fear not! My maximum household size is 25, and the Edens bought bunkbeds!! (custom content downloaded) Below, see the toddler bunkbeds for Numbers/Deuteronomy and all the precious babes asleep. See? There is still lots of room to stack those arrows for Jesus like cordwood. The last question to be answered in Year 7 again concerns our pet-fundie Elsie. After chatting on the phone in front of their families and going to the park again with Genesis and Exodus, Cale asked Elsie to Chez Llama for a Very Special Date. (picture taken by a chaperone who was obviously there) Though he couldn't work up the courage during dinner, in the romantic night air Cale finally asked Elsie if she would enter into a Courtship Relationship with him! What?! Elsie and Cale had only been getting-to-know-each-other/special friends for 1.5 years now. She completely didn't see it coming! But OF COURSE she said TOTALLY! while they sweetly held hands for the very first time. They may not be on the level of a no-touch engagement, but what a Godly example these two are. The Edens had a better 2016 than most, but can the happiness last? Hoping for new blessings, sweet family moments, and a successful Courtship Relationship in 2017/Year 7, Edens out!
  13. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! A lot has happened since we last checked in with the Edens! Here is the history of the family so far (pictured below, and ages based on time of day children born and the corresponding month in my realistic aging plan): Adam Eden (age 21) marries Eva Johnson (age 20) Jan 2010 Genesis (girl, purple) born Oct 2010 (That's right - honeymoon baby! *smiles*) Exodus (boy, green) born Sept 2011 (11 month gap) Leviticus (boy, orange) born Nov 2012 (14 month gap) Numbers (girl, bassinet) born Feb 2014 (16 month gap) Elsie Johnson (teenage girl in blue, born 1997) moved in with the Edens middle of 2013. And of course, at the beginning of Year 6/2015, Eva was heavily pregnant with Blessing #5. Here she shares a precious moment with her newest baby, while largely ignoring her older children. Numbers may have the worst name but she's definitely been the best baby so far. Numbers continued to be the perfect fundie daughter when she aged up to a toddler with the Independent trait! Happy birthday Numbers! We love your meek spirit! Not too long after, Blessing #5 was born! (May 2015) Welcome to the world baby girl Deuteronomy! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (And again, sorry about the name) Speaking of babies (?), the Lord laid it on Adam's heart to lose some of the sympathy baby weight he'd acquired since marriage, so Year 6 he ventured to the gym. Alas, NIKE! All the sluttish women there made him weep, gnash his teeth, and workout in a room by himself. If he can bring himself to go back he will have to ask Steve Maxhell how to bear short shorts. All that getting-in-shape sure does a body good. And guess what?!?! Blessing #6 is on its way! (Are you surprised? No? Adam's not either. He just wants to eat his breakfast in peace.) In 2015, Exodus turned 4 years old! Adam told Exodus how special he was, how he was the answer to Adam and Eva's prayers, and how he would do great things to bring people to the Lord. Well Genesis, it doesn't look like Exodus will need too much manhood-nurturing to accept his role as spiritual leader and fundie heir! What a smug-looking preschooler. But of course, I know everyone is here to learn about Elsie! She turned 18 and was FINALLY ready for her future husband to find her! Could Cale be The One? She and Cale texted for a while in a group chat, and finally met again at the park. However, no longer living under her father's umbrella of protection, she seems to have forgotten her meek and mild spirit! Not only did Elsie make SINFUL eyes at Cale, but she also BEAT him in Chess! (Pray for her.) Following this he left in a huff and Elsie was SEVERELY scolded on her Jezebel ways. After Elsie had sufficiently apologized and submitted herself to both Cale and her BIL/new headship, Cale was invited over to the Eden's home for some more getting-to-know-each-other. They jumped the gun and sat on the plastic courting bench though! This setting severely confused Elsie, and after chatting about Cale's job (LANDSCAPER for a gardening company!!!!) and his love for dogs, Elsie let her feelings for Cale slip! Once again Cale left in a hurry and Elsie was so embarrassed. She thought for sure the getting-to-know-you period with Cale would end and that she would be gossiped about as "forward." Already giving away heart pieces for Jesus' sake! For the next few weeks Elsie kept her head down in servitude to God and to the Edens. She volunteered with Genesis, prayed with Adam for humility, and really just focused on her walk with the Lord. And the Lord forgave Elsie in her penance, and who should ask to come over again but Cale!!! Elsie was SHOCKED. Maybe waiting for a man to pursue her heart did work after all! This time, Elsie served Cale homemade food and agreed with him on theological points (much better) AS ADAM AND EVA FLAUNTED THEIR SPECIAL MARRIED PRIVILEGES NEXT TO THEM. Way to keep it classy Duggars Edens. And Cale, like Ben, surprisingly did not run away screaming from this blatant display. Instead he started flirting with Elsie!! And they even snuck off to...take a picture together! Say "side-hug!" And there ends year 6! Sorry that it was a bit of a hodge-podge. I hope to have a more cohesive story for year 7. Speaking of Year 7, when will Blessing #6 enter the world and whatever could its name be? Will Exodus turn out to be as much of a prick as he looks like? Has Adam checked out from child-rearing completely? Most importantly, will Elsie and Cale enter a courtship relationship? STAY TUNED! Edens out! And ladies, let those men pursue you!
  14. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! Year 5 started off with a large expansion for the kids' rooms in expectation of a large expansion of the family. Notice the Heaven-Bound theme to keep little minds thinking about where they go when they die *smile* Elsie started a barista job at the family church like her sister before her, because she clearly wasn't doing enough to earn her keep, and Genesis turned 4!! As a child and no longer a toddler, she got right down to covering her body for Jesus and starting household chores. In Feb, baby girl Numbers was born! Welcome to the world Numbers! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (Sorry about the name) In true Eden fashion, after Numbers' birth Eva couldn't wait to again give her headship what only she could provide. Yes Adam, look at the fine badonkadonk heart for the Lord your wife has. What again Mom? Geez Louise! (Yep, Blessing #5 is on its way!) Poor Genesis. Not only does she have to deal with an endless stream of younger siblings and start doing chores at 4, but she also has to homeschool herself. What could go wrong? (Also I would like to reassure everyone that what you see is a Creationist-approved science table. The state made them get it.) Okay besides Genesis' trials (and there are many), the Edens had a nice thing going year 5. Elsie was the best help ever!!! and seriously bonded with the kids, the house was expanded and decorated, and Eva wrote her most successful manifesto to date, "Finding My Contentment: Abandoning my Personality for Jesus." Eva had indeed abandoned her personality and was on permanently-maxed motives. Sure, she still slept and ate sometimes but did she need to? No!!! She has turned all her needs over to God and become a great mom (but only to toddlers. Genesis is still SOL). According to the MIT living wages calculator (http://livingwage.mit.edu/counties/51003), a two-parent one-worker family (in Albemarle County, VA because that's where I spent my early childhood) needs 50k/year plus an additional 5k for every kid beyond the first one. So even if Elsie is paying her own way, that's 70k/year needed for the Eden 6. Adam's job was $35/hr (salary equivalent $73,000) so they were jussssst squeaking by and with a new baby on the way. But the Lord provides! Mid-year, Adam was promoted to Hobby Lobby Regional Manager and is now bringing in $110,000!!!!! While Adam probably won't progress much further in his career, if he stays a job-type person the family will finally start to have some breathing room and can stop grifting. Here's Adam in his new fancy suit. The other big news in year 5 is that Genesis and Elsie began socializing with the outside world! Eva is really too busy to care about her oldest child and her sister-slave, so they've had some fun adventures. Especially Elsie. Elsie Elsie Elsie. Elsie took Genesis and Leviticus to the park to "give Eva a break" and while it WAS super wholesome fun for Leviticus and Genesis, Elsie also just so happened to meet a teenager named Cale while she was there. He was playing with children on the pirate ship and clearly has a servant's heart! And if you take away his dyed hair and patch up his jeans, he actually looks a lot like the young man her parents told her to pray for (read: Republican)! During their conversation chaperoned by some elementary-school children, Eva learned that Cale loves music too! They have so much in common! Eva quickly remembered her modesty after this, but she just may have to take Genesis to the park again soon... Goodnight Edens! Do you know where your super-sheltered super-oppressed super-horny fundie sister is? I kinda hope not! (As long as she’s safe) Edens out!
  15. nomoxian

    Day 1

    Since it was the weekend (not that he worked anyways, so every day is the weekend) David decided to go fishing. He caught a minnow, which he was extremely proud of. Steven took his day off from his fireMAN job to work out. Jill went to the library to read a secular book. It it about having babies, so it is acceptable. She sees a man - potenital baby making helper - come in, but his skin is too dark. She also notices a slutty woman walk past her. Steve, being a pervert sinner who needs to go to the prayer closet - if only his small home had a closet - decided to sit next to Jill on a two seater sofa. She is a Godly young woman, so Jesus will forgive him. He is reading a book titled "What do you mean by communication?" It is okay, but he hasn't read anything in it about God yet. Perhaps in the future he will write his own book about communication. Jill notices a non-slutty woman, so she approaches her, fully ignoring the slutty woman standing next to her. They gossip and laugh. Kindred spirits! [I noticed Jill got a want to mooch money off of her right after introducing herself] They all head home at a pre-planned time to fellowship over a meal prepared by the female of the home, after which they all sleep in independent beds in a shared bedroom. It is cramped, but not so much as an RV. Plans for the future: Upon waking, Steven will be going to his fireMAN job and Steve will be going to the hospital to make a donation. He insists it is not sperm, since every one is sacred, and he has a life plan to get married and have as many children as God wills. David will fufill his wish of fishing before 6AM. Jill is unsure what she will do after she primps herself up at the mirror. Perhaps she will go to the church to pray... What; there is no church in the town? We must do something about that right away! I don't think I'm going to update this every game day, but I'll try to keep it up, assuming other people are interested in seeing the story progression. I intend to let them have as much free will as possible, and will marry Jill off to whoever she loves the most - because after love comes marriage and an SUV sized baby carriage.
  16. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! At the beginning of Year 4, Eva practiced her crazy-eyed fundie love stare... and Exodus expressed his dismay at having a new brother. Which was really too bad because, as you may have guessed, the Edens cannot stay un-pregnant for very long. Congratulations Exodus! The Lord has opened your mother's womb again and you're going to have an even newer sibling soon! Everyone was SO excited! Especially Adam. Although the Edens could manage their brood sometimes, that was only on weekends or the one day of family leave Eva begged her headship to take. When the holy penis-holder was away, Eva struggled with 3-in-3 and counting. Here, she takes a desperate nap as the toddlers play unsupervised outside and throw paint into the yard (where did they even get that?), dirty food begins to stink on the coffee table, and the baby cries in the background. #FAMILY (And yes, the Edens eventually sold that worthless giant teddy. The weird tree thing does a much better job of keeping the kids out of the way.) Realizing that she was failing as manager of her home, Eva called up her former umbrella of protection and asked them to PLEASE ship over a sister-mom. And they did. Yay! Meet Elsie Johnson, Eva's 16-year old sister. She's an aspiring cook, loves children, loves to clean, and of course has a servant's heart! (Also notice Eva literally PRAISING JESUS for Elsie's arrival) Elsie also totally graduated homeskool early so she can live with the Edens and help out full time. The Johnsons (Eva and Elsie's parents and some brothers) even went so far as to help the Edens build a little extension for Elsie's bedroom. How neat!!! (But don't mind Adam NIKE!!!!!!!!1!!!1!!) Elsie took to her duties right away- cleaning, gardening, soothing the baby, playing with and teaching the toddlers, and cooking. She is such a blessing! Eva was even able to find a moment of peace to write her newest work, "Boys are Boys and Girls are Girls: a fun book for families." Eva was also working very hard on her contentment (read: I was using cheats to max her motives) and their growing family was running very smoothly. Though Elsie was an overall net HUGE POSITIVE, she did not come to the Edens with any baking skills. So of course, this happened. Again. Only the stove and the violin of the newly set-up SOTDRT was burned. This time, the Edens grifted for a home sprinkler system and a higher-quality stove. They are getting really sick of this shi...opportunity of growth from the Lord. After the fire, Eva and Elsie enjoyed some precious sister moments during which Elsie did not at all regret her new season of life. And during the transition into the new year, baby Leviticus grew up! Happy birthday Leviticus! It totally makes sense that you got "clingy" for your toddler personality, since you were not AT ALL an easy baby!! (Lovely) As you can see, Year 4 ended with Eva heavily pregnant, but no new baby Eden. For those keeping track, in 4 years that's 3.85 blessings, 1 wrong-generation sister-mom, 3 fires, an entire home extension and thousands of dollars grifted, 3 open-and-affirming tracts published, and at least 5 instances of paint-splattered lawn. Keeping their fingers crossed for a good baby this time, Edens out!
  17. So it's been 2 years and 2.3 kids and year 3 started with this... Another fire! Clearly Eva should never bake again. Although no humans were hurt, the stove and neighboring counter were completely burnt, and there was no money to replace them. The Edens got very sick of autumn salad and BLTs, but in general year three was pretty good to them. While Eva put the kids to bed and did all the chores, Adam stayed up late writing reports on how Hobby Lobby was doing the Lord's work, (such as building a Museum of the Bible on the National Mall https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/01/can-hobby-lobby-buy-the-bible/419088/) and the Lord personally rewarded him with a promotion to assistant manager! God is so good y'all! Eva was still able to actually parent her little Blessings, and Genesis retained an affinity for the bathroom in which she was born. (Also notice the stove in the background, blackened and burnt to remind the Edens that to ash they would return. Fun.) Genesis also learned how to go down stairs PRAISE JESUS!!! (I've Eva has since decided that climbing stairs is the godliest skill a toddler can learn, and the highest priority for little Edens. The Lord wouldn't want her to carry a toddler when she's 13 months pregnant, would He?) Speaking of which, Eva has been pregnant FOREVER. Internet forums were beginning to reach Jill-level hysteria on baby watch #3. Exodus even reached his first birthday while Eva continued to gestate. (Happy birthday Exodus! Thank God you got a "silly" personality instead of "fussy" like your older sister!) Finally, about 14 months into pregnancy, while Eva was starving and exhausted, labor pains began. This moment also coincided with Genesis inconsolably throwing a fit, and the downstairs toilet breaking in spectacular fashion. Not even the giant stuffed teddy purposed to serve as temporary babysitter could rescue Eva from this desperate situation. (The picture doesn't do it justice guys, but things were ROUGH. Eva's hunger and fatigue were well into the red and there was only salad to eat, Genesis wouldn't stop crying, Exodus was hungry, the toilet was spewing goodness knows what, and Eva already had a -40 moodlet from being actively in labor.) Into all this chaos, baby #3 was born. Welcome to the world, little Leviticus! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! Immediately after delivery, Eva took a nap and left her toddlers to fend for themselves and open the door for the toilet repairman. And in the sake of honesty, I used a cheat at this point to max all of Eva's motives (satisfy all her needs). So I would actually consider two toddlers under 3 + brand new baby to be Eva's first breaking point (and understandably so!!!). But God would never give them more than they could handle, right? Eva will just need to better manage her contentment. And it couldn't be that bad - no grifting this year! Adam's promotion paid for boy's room furnishings, and the Edens were still able to get everyone to sleep at the same time. Well, except for Eva, who was of course up doing laundry. Does the Lord have a laundryroom breakdown in store for Eva? We'll just have to stay tuned! And so year 3 ends with 3 children under 3 (how perfect!), a useless giant teddy bear, still no stove, and no new blessing immediately on the horizon. Let's see how long it lasts! Edens out!
  18. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We left off with baby girl Genesis (#1) entering the world and a lot has happened since we last checked in. After the birth, Adam and Eva wasted no time getting back down to the romance... Which of course meant Blessing #2 was soon on its way! Wait...already?!?! Yes already! What a blessed couple you are. Speaking of which, Eva published her second major blog piece "Blessed: God is so good y'all" which continues to bring in modest income along with sales of their garden-grown produce (Garden of Edens) and scrap metal. This season of life was still pretty calm, and Eva and Adam enjoyed peaceful #family moments such as this. Ah young love. (And actually, HERE ends year one of marriage. Two Sims4 pregnancies that seemed to last forever led to me look online and...yep! In Sims 4 pregnancies last for 72-84 hours AFTER notification (24 hours after conception or pregnancy test). Which means, yes it's more random like in real life, and yes pregnancies can take longer than 3 days - Genesis' was 3.5. So for a variety of reasons I'm going to have 4 simdays/year.) But back to our story, this newlywed/1.5 baby peace was not to last. In Sims4, while babies are objects (stay in their crib, have to be moved in buy mode), toddlers have 9 different personality options - fussy, angelic, silly, clingy, wild, charmer, independent, and inquisitive. I couldn't bring myself to blanket-train even a virtual family, so I used a random number generator to determine Genesis' toddler personality. And of course I got...FUSSY! YAY! Happy birthday Genesis! You may be cute but you are already a royal pain in the... Don't be too upset with her though. The financial situation was already pretty bleak for the Edens (I think they bought more house than they could afford), and Adam had to ask his father for $500 to furnish a child's room. Before they could afford a high chair, Eva and Adam left fruit on the floor for Genesis to eat as she played with her two toys (which in combo are enough to fill her imagination/movement/thinking skills. They're not monsters. Just super broke). The other bleak part about year 2 was the laundry situation. As a stay-at-home wife, Eva used to be able to keep up with the laundry using this charming setup: But pregnancy brain kept leading Eva to forget to change the water in the wash tub, she ending up doing the same load of laundry three times, and when Genesis arrived she could no longer keep up. It got to the point that third trimester Eva was doing laundry at 3am in the attempt to provide clean work clothes for her headship. But Adam loves Eva and is a kind headship, so he grifted $1000 from his Hobby Lobby colleagues to buy Eva a stacked washer/dryer unit for the upstairs bedroom. Automated washing and all on one floorl? Eva could've sweet-fellowshipped him, except the whole 8 months pregnant thing. She went for an over-the-top blog post instead. Behold! So year two may have been a little rough. But that isn't to say the Edens were unhappy! Adam and Eva remain deeply in love, and while he may not help with cooking or laundry, Adam does like to play with Genesis and of course, lead her spiritually. Through childcare and education by mom during the day, and lessons on manners and personal responsibility from dad at night, Genesis is slowly learning to stop being so damn darn defiant! She also has a vivid imagination, can look at picture books by herself, likes bobbing to music (but no dancing of course), and is halfway to potty independence! (I need to get more cute pictures of Genesis. She really is not so bad.) Of course, the biggest event of year two was the blessed night Blessing #2 was born!! Welcome to the world baby boy Exodus! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (And how many books of the Bible we get to!) After a few hours weeks rest, the sparks were flying again for the Edens! (Are you okay guys? That looks kinda dangerous honestly) And year two closes with another precious blessing on the way! Yes! Eva is so excited! I think that's an excited face? Anyway, if you're keeping track at home, in two years it's been 2.33 babies, one fussy toddler, one fire, $1500 grifted, numerous floor fruits, LOTS of fireworks, and a lot of FamLove. This post got a little dark so I'll try to take happier pictures for year 3, and thanks for following our little (but growing!) family! Edens out!
  19. Hi everyone! Even though I don't think many people will read this, I'm super excited and super nervous to make my first "blog." I've been entertained and inspired by @singsingsing, @AlwaysExcited, @mango_fandango and others, and want to make my first sims quiverful family. But I'm also a type-A scientist and want my game to be as realistic as possible. It's a virtual experiment, if you will, of the infamous laundry room breakdown, and finding a breaking point for my poor mother Sim. So here goes: I have both Sims 3 and Sims 4 but will be playing on Sims 4 even though I just got it a few days ago (thanks Origin sale!) because it's smoother on my computer and I'm using an awesome mod: MC Command Center. Through this I can adjust lifespan, baby's sex, etc. etc and crucially, KEEP CHILDREN OUT OF SCHOOL. I will also be using a mod that allows anyone (not just teens) to have part-time jobs, and a mod that recreates the child stove from Sims 2 and 3 in Sims 4 (gotta have those sister-moms). Lifespan: pregnancies last 3 days. A 4 simday/year ratio would be perfect for this realistic aging, but this is still a GAME (keep telling myself that) and that is too long for me. So I will operate as 3 simdays = one year. The extra-long pregnancy in my year ratio (12 months instead of 9) will be accounted for by abstaining after birth or breastfeeding acting as bc or whatever. Anyway: Baby (0-1 year) 3 days Toddler/Little Kid (1-5 years) 12 days. Toddlers in Sims4 are super dynamic and develop over time as they earn skills. So by the end of toddlerhood Sims can tell full stories, run, read toddler books, know shapes and even practice spelling. So "toddlerhood" will last 4 years. School-age Child (5-12 years) 24 days. Let SOTDRT begin! Teenager (13-19) 21 days. SOTDRT largely ends. Time for part-time job or sister-moming. Thank Jesus! Young Adult (20-35 years) 48 days Adult (36-65 years) 90 Elder (66-75) 30 Total lifespan: 225 days Fertility: Parents must TFB at least once per day. With the MCCC mod I can change successful Try for Baby %. In an internet search (but don't ask for citations), a young adult has roughly 25% each month of becoming pregnant, or 70% chance in 4 months (1 sim day). This is slightly lower than Sims default of 80% success rate. An adult ages 36-41 has 15% chance each month, or 50% in 4 months. Adult nearing menopause (42-50, 19 sim days into adulthood) has 5% chance each month, or 20% chance in 4 months. And menopause hits Sims mom at age 50 (but let's make it a 2% chance each TFB to be fun, 43 sim days into adulthood). Other rules: Modest dress only, girls must be in skirts/dresses until they move out. Boys/men will never be assigned to help with chores/childcare, though I will instagram #besthubbyever but not stop them if they automatically volunteer. No school for children or teens. Must learn skills at home. Mom can have part-time job only before kids. Teen boys MUST get part-time job at 13 (retail, Chik Fil A, manual labor only) and can also make money through hobbies. Teens and adult women can have a part-time job at 16 (retail, Chik Fil A, barista, babysitter)...but only if they're not needed at home (SUPER doubtful) and can make money through traditionally feminine hobbies as well. If I'm super desperate, I will add to household a farmed-out sister-mom from another family. And finally, based on my naming scheme I will control the baby's sex (but not the number- like twins or anything). And if you made it through all that, here's a picture. Happy Friday! Thanks for being an awesome community. Eeep!
  20. Welcome to 66 Goodbook Avenue! Thanks to the power of Jesus the Sims 4 gallery, our newlywed fundie couple is able to use almost allll their money to move into this beautiful "3/2 Starter Home." A few modifications had to be made (like expanding the upstairs bathroom and demolishing a closed-door computer den...the horror) but now it is move-in ready for a young couple and any blessings the Lord may give them. And here's our fundie newlyweds. Meet Adam and Eva Eden. Adam's aspiration is have a successful lineage of quivers for the Lord, and he is self-assured, ambitious, and family-oriented. He is also an aspiring businessman for Hobby Lobby and has a very smackable face. Eva Eden's life dream is to have a large happy Christian family, and she is family-oriented, neat, and a music lover. They are both 20 years old and, even though they first spoke 8 months ago, are best friends and soooooooo in love (so much that I set the romantic decay to 20% of normal). They are also starting with a few skills thanks to their years at the SOTDRT (and sister-moming for Eva). Adam is level 2 in guitar, and level 3 in charisma, logic, writing, fitness, and handiness. Eva is level 2 in charisma, and level 3 in violin, logic, writing, cooking, and parenting (and I have also slowed skill acquisition rate 50% to account for longer lifespans). According to my timeline conversion, Adam and Eva have been married for 2 days in the picture below, and they already have the fundie stare down pat. Here, Eva gazes at her husband as he looks off into the distance (and bored). And they got right down to it (and hadn't bought a hamper yet oops)! After sweet fellowship in Sims 4, one can take a pregnancy test to see if one's womb has been opened (also notice the hamper). Eden may not sleep in a skirt but she is already expecting so take that haters! The first year of marriage passes peacefully. Adam works his way up from mailroom technician to office assistant, plants fruits and vegetables, and works on his confidence and charisma. Eden cooks, cleans, and Manages Her Home happily. She even finds time to start a blog and publish her first major piece, "Honeymoon Baby - How to be favored by God," which brings in very modest grifting money. Here, Adam works on a speech while a pregnant Eva hand washes clothes on her knees. Hopefully someone will send her a love offering of a washing machine soon. But it is not all roses. Oh no! Eva was initially convicted to continue her maiden's work as a barista at her megachurch until the baby came (though the outfit required pants, the apron modestly covered any eye-traps). But one day, Eva left in a rush and forgot to prepare Adam's breakfast. He had to procure cereal and juice on his own and he was Not. Pleased. At all. After this, Eva was convicted to quit her job and stay at home to be a better helpmeet. Eva also learned that her sister-mom cooking skills sadly did not extend to baking prowess. Fortunately the only things hurt were sugar cookies and her pride. All in all though, it was a great year. Eva labored lovingly at home (even while in actual labor) until at last...in the bathroom...blessing #1 arrived! Welcome to the world baby girl Genesis!!! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! (But it's probably sister-moming. Lots of sister-moming) And so, the Eden's head into their second year of marriage with a precious newborn and many more adventures (and blessings?) to come. Stay tuned!
  21. Note on pregnancy: I turn aging off during pregnancies. This means shorter/somewhat more realistic spacing between children. I sometimes use that method in my regular neighborhood to get kids with small age gap. For Ranfords I decided to that with every single pregnancy. I didn't consider some issues like how slow kids will grow up if aging is turned off so often. Kinda regretting it now, but on the other hand, they will probably end up with more blessings that way. I also have triplets and quads mod, so there is about 15% chance for three and 5% chance for four blessings. Ok. Back to story. Even Zachary realized that if your wife almost dies, gets to second trimester of her pregnancy and falls asleep while standing, you should get yourself together and help around the house. He started with feeding grumpy and hungry Reed. Reed was very upset about whole situation. "No potty! No!" Zachary got upset too. I mean, what he is supposed to do with kid that refuses to be potty trained?! Its woman's job to know. Damn fire. Speaking of fire, I felt guilty about putting grill inside and almost killing them all, so I downloaded Ranfords a proper medieval-ish stove. At morning, Viola used it to cook pizza. She still didn't feel good enough and fell asleep in her plate. Zachary meanwhile changed Reed's diaper after boy had an accident. Despite the hard times, all Viola was able to talk about was how blessed she was. Another arrow on the way! On top of everything, both Viola and Zachary were constantly sick the whole autumn. They got healthy from time to time, but felt sick again five minutes later. Then winter came and it didn't get any better. And Reed still hated potty training. Happy #family having a dinner together. Do you wanna build a snowman? Oh no! Viola was freezing. Better run inside and scrub toilet till you feel better, honey. Zachary was freezing as well, so he practiced his creativity skills inside. It will become handy later, when he will be able to wean more kinds of furniture. Viola was just done with cleaning the toilet when she realized she was in labor. Oh my! "Zach, Zach - ZAACH! The baby is coming!" "That's wonderful, dear." "Oh, wow - there is another one! Maybe I should have had the ultrasounds..." Yep. Thats right - two little blessings for Ranfords! Both boys. Welcome to the world, Forest and River. Wait until your mommy washes her hands, then she will pay attention to you, guys. Maybe. Winter carried on, everything was under snow, Zach and Viola moved their tent inside and worried about their food stocks. Zach tried candle making* and didn't like it. Viola tried knitting** and really enjoyed it. Zachary often went to forest and stared into nowhere. When snow started to melt, it was clear that Viola was expecting again and that Zachary was slowly loosing it. "Why pregnancies are so long?! Nine months, that's insane! How many kids can you get that way? Ten, maybe fifteen. How are we supposed to be fruitful and multiply in these conditions???" Viola did her best to be supporting helpmeet while Zachary went though mental breakdown and hallucinated a SECULAR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL!!! Poor thing, he must be in very bad state to see that kind of horror. After the incident Zachary cried from embarrassment, and Viola gave him an adoring look and forced smile. Probably, the creepiest expression I have ever seen on sim. Unfortunately, twins were not the good babies Viola prayed for. They cried a lot, often for no reason, and Viola had to, like, actually parent them. "Blessing?" "Blessing." "Yeah, very neat." "Can't wait to have another one." Guuuys? Stop. Right. Now. "Zach? I... I... don't know... if only cough or... in labor." "That's nice, honey." Turns out, Viola was indeed in labor. Zach slept though it all. Hey, don't hide in corner, Viola, show us the new baby. It's another boy! Red hair, blue eyes! Who could have thought? Welcome, Huckleberry Ranford, I hope your parents don't forget about you. Viola was happy for the new little blessing arrow cutie, but she couldn't hide some disappointment. Even her genes were being submissive. * http://affinitysims.com/files/file/2061-updated-chandler-for-sims-2/ ** http://affinitysims.com/files/file/1837-knitting-yarn-ball-free-time-required/
  22. Ok, folks, Reed's birth was huge blessing and all, but Ranfords soon started to worry about Satans shenanigans. Because something was wrong, and it had nothing to do with them or their choices. First of all, Viola couldnt get pregnant right after giving birth, although Ranfords sure did everything they could about it. Poor tent can confirm. O.O Zacahary was devastated. Will Reed reach his toddlerhood without being a big brother? Will Viola end up having less than 10 children?? Will Zacahary grow old without a quiver full of red haired arrows to show off as a sign of his manliness??? Second, even with only one child, parenting was hard. Like, baby sometimes cried and was stinky. Putting him in muddles didn't help. Admittedly, Ranfords practiced hands-off parenting, sometimes literally But can you blame them? (Well, I can). They had sooo much work, folks. Winter was coming, so they had to fill the refrigerator with food. I mean, Viola had. Zachary did manly work. But Ranfords still knew they were doing the right thing. They received small, encouraging blessings every day. For example, Zachary got a fishing talent badge, although he had only catched one fish in his entire life. That does, of course, prove that they are Right Kind of Christians and everything will be provided for them. Somehow. Reed grew up into toddler (and Viola wasn't pregnant yet.). He looks like his daddy. He is somewhat neat, very active and outgoing, maximally playful and extremely grouchy. Oh-uh. Little cult leader in making. There was no cake or anything. As his birthday present Reed received a new outfit. A proper boy outfit, not that girly pink thing he grew up into. His parents, however, celebrated with sweat fellowshiping. And heard a chime! Stranger yelled on them again, just like when they got pregnant with Reed! Its a sign. Townie left angry and frustrated, probably to start #FreeReed movement. Although pregnant again, Viola still sometimes felt doubts about this lifestyle. As much as she tried to convince herself, count her blessings and control her own thought life, she didn't see a way for this to work out. To keep it sweat and submissive, she took her anger out on garden gnome. Viola (inside): "You will never be republican senator, idiot, you can't even figure out how to build a proper house!" Did I mention that Zachary finished kitchen? Because he did. Viola now could grill their hotdogs inside. Only the first time she did, a fire started! (Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa - forgot that grills shouldn't be used inside.) Fire! Fire! What do you do when fire starts at your home?! Zach had no clue. Reed, being smarter than his parents, left the room and entertained himself till it was over. Viola almost burned to death, but Zachary saved her. (Viola now can use it as metaphor to talk about Hell and Faith.) Finally fire burned out. Ranfords lost a grill, a fridge and few old boxes. The biggest loss was food that burned with furniture. BUT GUYS! There is a great testimony in it all!!! The SIGN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS! THE TOTAL BLESSING. THE FIRST BUMP OF PREGNANCY! It sure means... Something. Viola was so tired she fell asleep right there. Zachary worried about her dangerously low needs, possible death and their lost furniture. This is going to be a looooooooooooong pregnancy.
  23. What do you do when you are just married and allowed to touch each other for the first time? Ranfords did that. The whole day 6. At one point their making out and baby makin' activities were RUDELY interrupted by cockroaches. That happens when you annoy people and they kick your trash can, Zachary. This screenshot also illustrates the state the lot was at this point. Its partly my fault, I had never played with reed spawner in residence lot, only in community ones. I had no idea how quickly they take over everything. Anyway, back to baby makin'. At early morning day 7 they were FINALLY lucky enough to hear a chime! Random townie judged them. (Phone in the background was deleted, I just needed it so Viola can call Lindsay and make their friendship stronger before going back to no electricity rule. Till Zach masters mechanical skills, Viola and Lindsay have next to no chance to meet each other; I didn't want them to loose their friendship status. Who knows, Lindsay may be used as cult follower one day.) Viola got fundie-approved makeover and started to harvest reeds. She wanted to clear all garden before baby is born. There were other things needed for baby: a crib, first and foremost, and a changing table, and toys. Only one way to get these things: make them. Zach cried a bit before he gave in and started to learn how to make furniture. It will be long hours spent at basket weaving station till he reaches creativity level needed to make a baby basket. He also had to chop and buck trees to build walls. Lifes hard! He hadn't even changed the clothes from wedding. But it was worth it! I guess? Anyway, Zachary finished the bathroom walls, changed toilet to regular one and installed a sink. Then Viola came up with an idea to move the refrigerator (they use it to store food, but its not working, at least thats how I justify its existence), grill and stumps to make an improvised kitchen area. Cozy? Of course, Viola did all the womans work at... house. Not much to do , when you only have one room, though. FIRST BUMP!!!!!111!1! And Zach learned how to make a refrigerator from reeds! Well, its more like just a box, but Viola still thinks he is AWESOME! Nikes. Zach tried to learn fishing. He was #blessed to catch an old boot that cant be eaten, but can be used as amazing decor. Very traditional. See? It looks good in their new living room! Viola kept sweet. And tried to fish for herself. Zachary at least got better at hunting (sorry, Rufus). And he was still making furniture. So Viola just focused on her duties: reed harvesting,cooking, and birthing. And she succeeded! It was hard, and took 3,5 days, but she removed every single reed from the lot, and the damn spawner as well. Phew! It was also the first day of Autumn. A new season of year. It would be so neat to start for a new season of life right now, Viola though while picking nuts and berries in forest. And she was indeed blessed when her wish came true. Who needs homebirth, if you can forestbirth? Zach was, as usually, pretty useless. Viola gave birth to a healthy baby boy. She considered the name Forest, but ultimately decided to leave it for one of the future blessings. This baby was named Reed. This is Zach. Celebrating. You know, first born son makes him all adult and manly. Oh, and Zach managed to make a baby basket. It was too cold to keep baby outside, so they put him in only room with a roof. You know, bathroom. Welcome to the world, Reed Ranford. Im sorry, kiddo.
  24. The events of this day came as surprise to me. I planned to make a wife in CAS. But at least one townie was dumb enough to volunteer as a tribute. - Zachary got out of his swing when his social bar dropped low again. He started to chat the with first townie that walked by. And she was different than other heathens. Zach had almost lost a hope to find a girl like that! Cute girl. Almost modestly dressed. Feminine. Didn't tell Zach rude things like that he should find a job. Zach covered all appropriate first conversation subjects, like religion, money and family planning. They were talking about the evils of modern music, when townie (her name is Lindsay, btw. Not that Zach cares) suggested that Zach should meet her friend. You see, Lindsay was not interested in Zach herself, but she knew this desperate and crazy meek and nice girl with low standards servant's heart. Zachary agreed to blind date (with Lindsay as chaperone, of course!) Zachary and Viola indeed clicked right away. They knew the moment they laid eyes on each other that they will spend the rest of their life together, making babies and trying to keep reeds under control. Their starcrossed love manifested as high chemistry and strong desire to make out. After a day spent chatting and low-key flirting, the date ended at ok mark. Could be better. Could be worse. Zach was not complaining. Neither was Viola, who just didn't leave the lot. Zach felt little uncomfortable about it. Aren't godly woman supposed to follow his lead? And are not supposed to stay out after dark even with chaperone? But he couldn't ask Viola and Lindsay to leave because because what if Viola doesn't come back? Zach doesn't have a phone, how could he call her? So he just made them some hotdogs. “What a keeper!” Viola thinks. “A guy who can cook!” After hot dogs Viola got into hot tub. Oh my. She is too worldly! Zach will need to lead her to right direction. He used this as an opportunity to show Viola how REAL MODEST swimsuit looks like. Lindsay didn't care about these two. Despite Viola's inappropriate behavior, the night continued awkwardly and at one point these two realized that they are match made in desperate fundie heaven. Look who still doesn’t give a fuck. Viola excused herself to use Zachs shower, and Lindsay decided to use a moment to... umm, say goodbye. Lindsay! WTF. Are you suggesting polygamous cult?! Zach was too confused and excited to figure his next step now. He went to sleep, leaving Viola alone. She explored the forest, while thinking about... umm, godly marriage, of course. Totally motivated by right reasons. Not like dating. Witch is sin. Ok, at one point she had doubts about her life choices. Don't tell anyone! She prayed and felt peace with herself. Everything was going to be alright. When Zachary woke up next morning, he found Viola in his hot tub. So, there she was. A young, naive girl with family aspiration. A girl he just met and barely knew. They had a crush on each other, but they werent even best friends, and they didn't love each other yet. There was only one logical choice, from Zachs perspective. He married her. And they had their first kiss at wedding! With cutscene and everything! How neat! Zach is truly #blessed to have a wife after all this time alone, and Viola is #blessed to start a #family with such a great man! (Special thanks to hacked wedding arch, which allows to marry sims regardless of their relationship, Batbox that has an option to delete these "kissed mysterious sim" memories adults from CAS have, and ACR mod that made it possible to consummate this marriage before their relationship was high enough to do so in regular gameplay.)
  25. Days 2 - 4 were not the most interesting season of Zach's life - but day 5 deserves it's own separate entry, so there. Zachary started day 2 by cutting yesterdays tree in logs and building a small wall. He then learned his first mechanical skill point to put together an old barrel and some kind of pump. Enjoying his hard-earned shower here. (Sorry, NIKE! picture, but he was so happy ) He explored a forest a bit more and found wild bees. Someday hell be able to steal honey from them without getting hurt, but this is not that day. Then first animals appeared and Zach tried hunting for first time. He learned he is useless with hunting with spear. I learned I put too many animal spawners in this forest and removed most of them. Zach managed to kill a wolf and a deer with sword. Which meant - FOOD. Thats right. Zachary got over himself and learned a cooking skill to know how to use grill. No more mushroom and berry snacks, Zach is eating like a man. Homemade hotdogs, yummy. After first real meal in days, Zach felt like annoying some people for faith. His social bar was low. Almost as low as townies interest in his crap. Manly handshake, sure, dude. You are the most masculine male man ever. You hunt. You eat. You flirt with ladies, and they turn you down. Next few days were almost the same. At one point Zach learned enough mechanical points to put together a swing form an old tire and a rope, and to turn a water tank into hot tub. But otherwise it was pretty boring. Only reed spawner got completely out of control (it's a part of basket weaver set from medieval sims - useful if you pick up reeds and make things from them. Not useful if you are Zachary Ranford.) At day 4 his lot looked like this: Zach started to worry a bit. No, not about reeds. His wife will pick them up. The problem was where to get a wife. Townie women were all sane ungodly whores, and he had no electricity, so he couldn'tt order one from internet browse SAHD blogs. Also, he started to hate hot dogs. Maybe wife could cook something else, like hamburgers and tater tot casserole. At day 5 Zachary woke up with completely new wants for him. Instead of flirting, getting married, and having his first kiss, Zach wanted to catch butterflies and roller skate. And he spend a lot of time in his new swing. Was he giving up? Was he turning into manboy, trying to convince himself that he doesn't care anymore? Was it injured pride? Was he just loosing his mind?
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