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  1. A thread for FJers who feel or have ever felt ‘stuck’ in their practices/faith. And also for those who have left or changed their faith. I’d appreciate to hear your experiences and thoughts. My current personal experience: So I recently moved to the DC area with my family and naturally, my parents are looking for a church home while we are here. We went to one today that aligns with with what they believe. It’s an Independent Baptist Church. They use Focus on The Family (which I have issues with), the pastor there while genuine in his faith seems to be a mentee of Jerry Falwell (who I have issues with) and is active on the board at Liberty University. The sermon today was about knowing if you’re really saved (basically a major guilt trip for me) This church is in some ways quite similar to our home church in the Caribbean. I’m personally tired of church in general even though I went pretty regularly through college (and still do) out of fear and a sense of obligation. In reality, church brings me no comfort or peace. I don’t think it ever has. It frequently triggers depression and deeply unsettles me (evangelicals are honestly great at making you not trust yourself, guilting you and gaslighting). I have major issues with some core beliefs of the evangelical church (not to mention how they treat certainty groups of people). I don’t feel safe nor do I trust believers to share how I feel or be myself. Basically church a thing I’m made to endure without being outed as a heathen or someone to fix/save. Of course, none of this I can express to my parents. They frequently claim that I can tell them anything and they don’t want to influence my decisions on how I live my life, but I truly doubt they mean it. They are great parents and we’ve always been close but I don’t trust them. Telling them would firstly break their hearts and would also make me a target to ‘fix’. So I’m currently saving face until I can manage to get over my paralyzing anxiety, be financially independent, move out and create some distance. Hopefully I can do so without too many triggers.
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