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I don't know if this is the correct place to post this but I really hope that maybe someone I interacted with on FJ about 9 years ago would find a bit of hope in this. I used to be a fundie Baptist young woman blogger, I ran a blog called "A Rather Unusual Maiden for God" back in 2009-2011. I also had a few threads on FJ talking with members of the forum I have thought about you guys over the past 9 years. I owe you guys a lot for contributing to my current life and happiness. I was a vulnerable young woman living in a toxic fundie hell hole. I was emotionally abused by people I trusted. I left fundiedom back in 2013. When I first started interacting with FJ I actually was starting to question things about my religious upbringing. Reading perspectives on life that were not fundie was critical to me leaving. If anyone who remembers me is still on FJ, thank you. I'm open to answering questions about my experience leaving the fundie movement and all the drama that has come with that decision. A lot has happened in 9 years.

I realize that there is not a set definition of fundamentalism/fundamentalist, so-- while this pod cast is called Recovering Fundamentalist many of you will still consider them fundies (as many would consider me). With that disclaimer, if you are just interested in some of the nuances of IFBx (IFB with an extremist, legalistic view of the Christian life) culture, you might enjoy listening to this pod cast. https://recoveringfundamentalist.org/

I need away from where I live. I came here to finish my college education when I was a single mom in my 40s. I finished it and ended up staying because my children were in school. They are out now, my youngest just turned 20, and I need to go. Some years ago I became aware that one of the biggest events in this town is a particular festival that is supposed to celebrate the diversity of this community. I'm ashamed to say it's really all about showcasing the wealthy white families - and there is a HUGE income disparity here. The highlight of the festival is a ball where a queen is crowned, debutante style, and once my kids got into high school I really began to understand the real function of this ball. It showcases the white daughters of the rich. There are no kids of color. This is embarrassing in today's world. I really hate it. Then, one of my children was involved in a school activity that requires fundraising. Because this activity requires clothing and equipment, of which new must be purchased every year. The students must travel long distances to stay a week in expensive hotels to properly train, never mind the same exact camp is offered IN THIS TOWN as a day camp at a considerably lower cost. The main fundraiser is the Dad's BBQ, which assumes right off the bat that every participating child has an active father. No amount of asking or persuading would change the minds of the wealthy white parents who locked down the booster club which funds the activity. Tradition. Child must come from the right family, even though this was a public school. So we live through that marginalization, for which I had to pay several hundred dollars in fines because there was no dad to appear for my child and I could not be there that day because I couldn't take off work. Part of the fundraising is to sponsor a trip to sunny Los Angeles, half way across the country, every other spring break. I had to pay money to the booster club to support this, then my child had to try out for and didn't make the activity the following year, so she didn't get to go. Bitter? You bet. So now Daddy/daughter dances have started up - as part of the local public schools. I live in a primarily rural area where the small city has the biggest school system in the county, but numerous small communities have their own districts within the county, and it's the small districts that have picked up on this. I don't want to be here anymore. When I was in college, one of my jobs was as a student worker in the dean's office. The Dean, a woman, got her daughter into cheer in 8th grade and she was talking about how they had to start going to church because all the cheerleaders are active in a church. And she did it! A professor turned dean, but there's no lack of educated people around here. It's just that even with public school education and state college education, everyone still seems to fall into the black hole of church. I'm having a bad weekend. This soul sickness from Trump's acquittal has seeped into my soul and it drowns me. I need out of Cruz country. When Teddy was running for office, his signs permeated the landscape and they all prominently featured "God." Recent local elections showed Republicans running for Jesus. This place is blood red and I need out of it. Until I can get out, you bet I'm voting for any and everything possible, and it won't be anybody Republican.

I was originally going to post this in the Duggar section, but I think the broader issue goes beyond that particular family. There’s been a lot of discussion in the Jill and Jinger threads about whether either of them is “free,” as per the name of this site. Since both of them are still vocally conservative Christians, a lot of people say no. There’s also evidence that Derick and/or Jeremy is controlling, so that would be another mark against them. The problem I have is that there are billions of people who share Jill and Jinger’s views on gender and sexuality or on the exclusivity of their particular religion, but that alone doesn’t make them “unfree.” I consider social media to be curated nonsense, so I don’t really view social media as a good insight into any family or relationship (see how the Hart family hid their abuse through a pretty online media presence), but others may disagree. For some people, it would seem that the only way for Jill or Jinger to indicate their freedom would be if they posted selfies to Instagram of them with a receipt of a donation to planned parenthood and a name tag from the local atheist group. But that doesn’t necessarily prove anything, since there are plenty of women in secular relationships who still end up in domestic violence situations or simply end up unthinkingly replicating patriarchal norms (ie doing the bulk of the housework and childcare simply for being female). The devolution of the New Atheism into redpilling and anti-SJW taunting illustrates that you don’t need religious fundamentalists to be a patriarchal reactionary. So what do people think would constitute “freedom” for any of our fundies?

Hannah Ettinger and Kieryn Darkwater now have a weekly podcast discussing aspects of their quiverfull upbringing. I've only listened to two episodes so far but it's pretty good and I'm interested to see what kind of topics and guests they have in the future. https://kitchentablecult.com/

Some people doing some good work in this world