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  1. To the guy that I backed into in the school parking lot this morning: Yes. Mea culpa. I backed into you at a whopping 5 mph and it looks like a 2" portion of your plastic bumper will need to be suctioned out. (Although, after the fog of the incident, I'm suspicious that I even caused that damage, since you have an almost identical ding on the *other side of your bumper* where it would have been physically impossible for my vehicle to have caused the damage). Your overall condescending attitude and general dickishness was, however, uncalled for. I explained to you 4 times why I did not have my drivers license with me. My schedule this morning was an extreme departure from the norm, and in the shuffle I did not transfer my wallet (or sunglasses) from my Teaching Bag into my Other Job Handbag. Still don't understand? OK. I'll explain it again. Oh, you still don't get it? So, let me explain it again. And now you're rolling up on me and not letting me *park my vehicle so it's not blocking the road* just so you can take a cheap dig at me and talk to me like I'm a teenager who needs to be schooled by you. Are you *seriously* actually saying: "What kind of a person doesn't have their drivers license with them?" Screw you, dude. I'll tell you what kind of person I am, Good Sir. I'm the kind of person who works two freaking different jobs to be able to make a living, and so goes between two different sets of bags/handbags on a daily basis. The kind who busts her ass volunteering for her kid's extracurricular activities. The kind of person who gets up two hours early to volunteer her time at a school event. Which made her extra tired and extra prone to mixing things up and forgetting things. Because, you know: *extreme departure from her usual though typically hectic schedule*. Because: I'm a human being and human beings are inherently prone to error. Your suspicion and borderline accusations about the possibility of me lying about who I am and that I may attempt to screw you over were really over the top. Yes: A suburban choir-and-theatre Mom dressed in a fleece (a *fleece* FFS!) and driving a minivan with a bike rack on the back is really among the Top 10 List of Shady Ass People who might try to screw you over. Get over yourself. No--really. Just piss screw fuck off.
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