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I've had a particular house recur in my dreams ever since I was little. In my dreams it's usually my Gramma's house, but it's not the one she had irl. In fact I've never seen this house outside my dream. There are two stories but I've only been on the first level and the basement. I remember a few dreams walking up stairs to a locked door, but I don't recall ever being on the second floor. Until last night. I walked up the stairs with the cranberry colored carpet and came to a door that was not only locked but had been painted over many times with thick white paint, The hinges had disappeared under layers of paint. I turned the knob and the door opened easily. I walked into an upstairs landing that was bright and clean...sunlight streaming in through french doors that opened onto a balcony. I walked down a hall peeking in rooms...in awe at how comfortable and sparkling it all was. There were several bedrooms, a bathroom with gorgeous blue tile, a cozy living room. The furnishings were soft, comfortable...lots of white and blue with accents of navy and pink. Overstuffed and comfortable....beautiful floral patterns but not too many. Welcoming, comfortable, warm....cozy and open. The light scent of fresh flowers was in every room. My Gramma was downstairs but I didn't speak to her. My mom was there, in her apricot colored bathrobe. I turned to see that she had followed me up the stairs and ... Somehow I knew this was mine. The upstairs belonged to me, not the house, not my Gramma...but me. I asked my mom why I had never been able to open the door before and she smiled and brushed my hair away from my face, as she always did and said, "Because you never needed it before." ________________ I've been having a lot of nightmares lately, with my anxiety bringing life my darkest fears ... this was a welcome respite. ________________ It's stayed with me all day. I knew in the dream and I knew when I woke that it wasn't about the second floor or any physical place. It was a message that I have what I need to get through this difficult time...I just didn't know because I never needed it before. And all I have to do to unlock it is walk through the door and embrace it.
I apparently got really cold in the middle of the night the other night while sleeping, because I had a really bizarre--and very scary--dream about something called "The Sleep Time." California was having severely cold weather and extended hours of darkness for some reason, so there was this period of every day called The Sleep Time where you didn't have to go to work or school. Sounds like a pretty good deal, right? No work, no school--sort of like a happy fun-time snow day holiday. Yeah....*nope*. Instead, even hearing the phrase The Sleep Time in that dream kicked off a horrible feeling of panic and fear. In the dream, I was watching a news broadcast that said something like, "And now, it is The Sleep Time. So, everyone stay in your homes." It was an infuriatingly (and terrifyingly) calm and soothing voice that had just the opposite effect. Basically, I knew through typical dream logic that during The Sleep Time everyone stayed huddled up in their homes for some reason, and did not go outside. It was clear that if you went outside, Something Bad Would Happen, but my dream never elaborated on that. It was just: The Sleep Time. *shiver* I think this kind of dream screws with my head much worse than dreams where you're being chased by, say, a clear psychotic murderer, or are in a spooky house, or the nuclear missiles are hanging in the sky over your head and you know any second those bitches are going to fall and you'll just be atomized particles rising on the mushroom cloud (don't judge my dreams ), or something along those lines. The dreams where there is just a free-floating feeling of fear and panic that you can't attach to anything specific (or something that should be distinctly *unscary*) are much more nightmarish. I think I dreamed this b/c of a combination of taking Melatonin that night (which gives me SEVERELY vivid dreams), watching The Purge: Anarchy, and seeing the Ted Koppel interview on The Daily Show where he talks about his new book re: the power grid going down and everyone starving to death in the cold.
So I had this dream last night - more like an emotional nightmare - where we adopted 50+ cats all at once. The cuteness was overwhelming, but everyone someone in my family came home they can't with boxes of cats...carrying cats, cats poking heads out of backpacks and hoodies...until there were hundreds of cats from very elderly to brand new kittens. Every size, color, type...you name it and they were everywhere. Not neatly packed in a labeled box like this. Anyway I had a full on breakdown - fell to the floor in the living room wracked with sobs because I loved them all so much but there were too many and I couldn't remember even how many we have much less their names....there was no way to get to know them or their personalities and I was sick I couldn't keep track of the ones who had special medical or dietary needs because I was completely overwhelmed. And my actual real life cats were looking at me like this... You know - shocked at the intrusion...some excitement, the outrage came later.* I woke up in a panic and my first words this morning to my husband were "I'm the Michelle Duggar of cats!" and I actually woke up crying I was so upset at having to many to care for properly. Then I was landed on by a couple of real life feline headships whose faces seemed to say... *None of these are my cats...they call come from my buddy Google. They are just stand-ins for my litter and don't represent them in looks or number...I just can't resist a surprised kitty pic.