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Someone created an image that has gone viral and it is greatly upsetting my Orthodox friends. Some background: Orthodox Jewish women are expected to cover their hair after marriage. Head coverings tend to fall into two categories: Tichel--A scarf, hat, or turban Sheitel--A wig The style of a woman's head covering and how much hair they allow to show varies depending on a combination of personal choice and what branch of Orthodoxy a woman belongs to. The image that is causing outrage is a collage that someone created out of Instagram pictures of women wearing sheitels. Specifically, all of the women are wearing wigs that have the appearance of long, flowing hair. Underneath the collage is a rant about how these women look like sluts and prostitutes, and they are bringing shame on their people. (I am not linking to the image because the images are used without the women's consent, and their faces are not blurred out.) My friends are outraged at the idea that women are being judged about this. They object to the idea of modesty being entirely about dress codes. Now that their kids are approaching school age, they are finding that people are making assumptions about where they will send their kids to school based on their style of head covering. They don't want their character to be judged by their attire. They consider their choice of head coverings to be theirs alone.
I'll confess I grew up in the 1970s and 80s, and so I have found the recent skittering from low-cut jeans that show more panty than line to a sort of puritanical view of fashion I see lately to be exhausting and annoying. By the standards of the people we discuss here, I am not a moderate dresser. I wear spaghetti strap sundresses all summer long, and don't go in much for sleeves in the winter. When I was a teen and young adult, I loved loved low cut backs, or back cut-outs, and now as a middle-aged person, I'm a little disappointed cleavage is not currently in style. It's my main asset these days. ;-) However, I really don't care how anyone else dresses—aside from jeans that always looked on the verge of leaving their owner—as long as they make some effort to clean their shoes, and recognize that some situations call for a bit more effort than others. Extreme reasons for their choices, though, tend to bum me out. https://medium.com/@joelherbert/modest-is-hottest-is-not-in-the-bible-49b58ed1fdf6 I just realized that my sort of wishing for cleavage baring could be seen as a specific desire to look, well, desirable. And then I realized it was ridiculous of me to worry about whether someone else thought that. I just like certain kinds of clothing balance, both formal and informal in the artistic sense, and also I am uncomfortable being too covered up for too long. I'd never enjoy being a nudist, but would fit happily in the land of short, light, loose freedom of dress all year round. I would do well on an island that Joel McCrea found himself stranded on after a boat accident.
It seems in every article about courtship/purity/modesty only Duggar daughter views are given. I know the males would likely say the same thing, but we still never hear what they want in a wife/partner or just general thoughts on purity/modesty from male prospectives -except Josh.
slickcat79 posted a topic in Quiver Full of Duggarsparentables.howstuffworks.com/family-travel/michelle-duggar-why-she-chose-modest-dress.html Despite the fact that she already had a parentable on teaching modesty a few months ago, apparently TLC has decided that Michelle (or her ghostwriter) hasn't talke about modesty enough. At least the article acknowledges that Michelle chose the dress standards for her kids, instead of pretending that they just happened to chose all the same standards on their own. Apparently Michelle got to be convicted by god to dress a certain way (and it was a joy!), but her kids get to dress that way because she says so. On defrauding: Seriously, the bolded completely counters the ridiculous idea of defrauding other people by the way you dress. As long as you can't control what other people think, there is no reason to believe you are defrauding anyone by dressing a certain way. Learning appropriate dress for certain situations is important, but you are not promising anyone sexual favors by wearing a low-cut top. If she thinks there's a scripture that tells her what standards to follow, why not share what it is? Otherwise just admit that your standards are completely arbitrary.
She said she had to cover up a model in a German book with sharpie because the kid wasn't dressed, and one of her boys had a breakdown when a little girl accidentally flashed her undies. Yet she says in a post that she's ok with her kids seeing each other starkers because it's just what happens in a big family. Can anyone explain this to me? If she thinks the latter is ok, how come her kid had a breakdown?
I realize this post was made in 2008, but from the looks of these two sister's blog, they are still dressing the way the Maxwell's influenced them to younghomemakers.blogspot.sg/2008/10/modesty-basics.html The last paragraph about losing friends and growing closer to the "elderly" made me
This is a two part series on modesty that Teri Maxwell wrote in 1999 for the Momys (Mothers of Many Young Siblings) forum. Sarah reprinted the article on her site preparingdaughters.com in 2002 (which I don't believe they keep up anymore) Several things struck me in reading the articles; 1. I believe we can gather from the paragraph on how some girls in their church dress immodestly why they ended up leaving that church and starting their own. 2. How gossipy, condescending and holier than thou that family actually is (again, see the paragraph about how the girls in their old church would dress, and how Teri and Sarah talked about them behind their backs after church.). 3. Just how truly crazy this family is (as though we didn't know). Here's some of the two articles, and a link for the rest. Modesty Articles By: SarahMaxwell4 on 10/3/2002 7:58:31 PM Here are two articles by my Mom that I thought you girls would enjoy! These were written in 1999. ~Sarah~ I am going to share with you two posts I once wrote to the MOMYS digest on the issue of modest dressing.. In addition to what is in the posts, we also discovered this year that necklines in the back were a concern for us. I purchased two dresses of a similar style that were just on the border of okay for us at the front neckline. However, the back neckline was just a bit deeper than I would normally wear. No big deal, I thought. My hair will cover it up. What I didnt consider was how a dress with a rather large neck shifts. It wanted to come forward because of the larger back neck. I did discover this in my family style show before I had worn the dresses so that they could be returned. The first post I am copying here had to do with how we have tried to teach our daughters to dress modestly. The second one was in response to another post asking for specifics on eye traps that I mentioned in the first message. Trusting in Jesus, Teri Maxwell Modest Dressing Post 1 It is interesting for me to look back on how we have passed on the idea of modesty to our oldest daughter (our other girls are young enough to still be in the learning stages in this area). As with so much of our parenting we have no plan, simply a continual crying out to the Lord for His wisdom and direction. For the last ten to twelve years of my walk with the Lord, I have been more aware of the issue of modest dress for women. Because of this, it has been something Sarah and I have regularly talked about as I share with her the choices I make in clothing and why I make them. She has readily accepted these same standards. One of the most helpful things we did was when we had a school assignment on dressing modestly. There were some very specific examples with drawings given of eye traps. These were styles of womens clothing that draw the eye away from the face and to other parts of the body. Some were a revelation to me! I had to go to my husband and ask, Steve, if you see a woman with a slit in her skirt does it draw your eyes to her legs? We went through each of the examples and he confirmed that they were eye traps for men. We also went to the airport and sat the family in a busy spot. We watched the people specifically watching mens eyes as they looked at women with some of these clothing styles on. Ugh! What a lesson for our daughter! The rest of the articles can be read here; forums.preparingdaughters.com/forums/t/3352/