Summary provided by: salsa
Mrs. Anna T â€“ â€œDomestic Felicityâ€
Anna writes for Ladies Against Feminism, though Iâ€™ve only rarely checked that site. I stumbled across her blog in pretty much the usual way anyone stumbles across any blog. I was interested, however, because sheâ€™s Jewish Orthodox and living in Israel. I thought the perspective of a woman in Israel would be interesting and it is.
Anna writes well and is multilingual and college educated, with a degree in nutrition. She was raised by a single mother and they were not very devout in their religious practice. In college she dated a man and it sounds like it was a pretty serious relationship, but he was abusive to her. Afterward, she began to turn to her religion and found comfort in it and the traditional gender roles Orthodoxy offered. She remained single for a year or two after college before she met her husband, Yitzhak.
Their first date sounds like it was all business and they measured their interests and values against the otherâ€™s interests and values and they decided they were compatible. From there, it wasnâ€™t long before they were engaged, married, and had a baby girl. After 18 months, another baby girl came along. They have moved quite a bit in their short time together. Some have opined that she lives in an Israeli settlement, but she indicates only that theyâ€™re in the country and that they are in a peaceful area.
One thing about Annaâ€™s blog that stands out is her constant quest for peace. That may partially be due to her knowing that military conflict is near, but it also seems to be some kind of internal craving with her. She doesnâ€™t seem to deal well with much of any kind of pressure. Even having people over for Shabbat, where itâ€™s pot-luck style, seems stressful even though she enjoys the company. Still, the reader gets the impression of a rather introverted woman who likes things to flow smoothly.
Another thing that stands out is her rigidity. She believes women are suited and designed for domestic endeavors and men are to be the providers and leaders. Period. For a woman to have a hobby is to be neglectful of her family. When challenged, she just repeats her beliefs. There doesnâ€™t seem to be any room for â€œdifferent strokes for different folks.â€ (a snark-worthy read is interesting read is the blog of Analytical Adam, a guy who occasionally comments on her more theological posts)
That said, she speaks strongly against a conservative wing of Orthodox Jews where the men study Torah all the time and the women work, have numerous children, and keep the house.
Not long ago, she wrote a post about how, when she was newly married, sheâ€™d hoped to be a mom to many children, but that it was not to be. She didnâ€™t elaborate on why. She desires to homeschool, but expresses nervousness about whether the government will allow it. It seems there are enough hoops to jump through in Israel that it makes homeschooling difficult.
Her family of origin doesnâ€™t seem to be very supportive, but she doesnâ€™t elaborate. She also was disappointed in her hospital birthing experiences, finding them overly clinical, unnecessarily invasive, and brusque (my words, not hers).
I like hearing about their holidays. Because they are Orthodox, they observe them all and thereâ€™s a part of me that finds quite nice that cycle of remembering and celebrating or mourning or whatever. And she makes some delicious-looking meals (oh, she used to be vegetarian but now incorporates some meat in her diet).
My favorite post of hers is the one where she reflects on her reflection in the mirror and what it means and how itâ€™s not always comfortable. Even after being married 5 years, sheâ€™s not yet comfortable seeing herself in a tichel. There had been a picture of her in her headscarf on her blog and I liked that photo. She has a nice smile. I liked learning that someone with such rigid beliefs also has some internal conflict rather than pretending all is always perfect.
There for awhile, she wrote a little story, in segments on her blog, about a girl named Becky who has to go live with her aunt and uncleâ€™s family. Of course, Becky was not religious and wore short skirts and jeans and her aunt and uncleâ€™s family is Orthodox and she has some adjusting to do. Anna hasnâ€™t updated the story in a long time. Though Anna writes well, the story was corny and predictable.
I choose to read her blog as a look into the life of a woman whoâ€™s trying to make sense of life and, like most fundies who choose rigidity, find comfort in shelter offered by religion and prescribed roles.
Provided by salsa
Mrs. Anna T continues to search for peacefulness. She really does seem to enjoy what she calls â€œthe simple life at home,â€ baking, crafting, gardening, and chicken-keeping, but things donâ€™t seem to be all that stable.
For starters, she and her family move relatively frequently. She does not elaborate why they move, but she does hint that her husbandâ€™s employment is not altogether reliable.
The â€œcrossroads in (her husbandâ€™s) careerâ€ (as she put it) might indicate that their income is not steady. Given her devout faith, she interprets un-steady income as a means upon which to rely on God and trust in his provisions.
While she had hoped to have a lot of children, she has two daughters. She did not elaborate on why they stopped at two, but a recent post (by another woman) about secondary infertility might be a clue. I donâ€™t know whether she has simply not conceived due to secondary infertility (the author of the piece she shared had that experience) or whether she and Mr. T chose to stop after two for other reasons. In any case, it seems that folks in her community are as meddlesome as they are anywhere else and they question her child spacing â€“ that her youngest is 3 or 4 and thereâ€™s no sign of one on the way. That she shared another womanâ€™s story of being hurt by othersâ€™ meddlesome comments and questions as to why there were no more children when the woman is still of childbearing age makes me wonder if she also feels hurt.
It seems she lives in a â€œsettledâ€ area of Israel and she is currently very worried that this land will get taken away from them (the Jewish people). Being a more â€œmainstreamâ€ Orthodox Jew, it would follow that she believes that God gave the Jewish people Israel and that they are to occupy it. She has said nothing about the Israeli Armyâ€™s bulldozing tactics, so I donâ€™t know whether or not she agrees with their form of border â€œenforcement.â€
Please forgive the more personal opinions in the following paragraph: In the US, when we wish for a peaceful life, we usually mean a life thatâ€™s unhindered by stresses like long commutes, work deadlines, and trying to stay afloat financially. Living where she does, I do believe â€œpeaceâ€ has a more literal connotation, so I really canâ€™t join others in concluding that sheâ€™s somehow avoiding real life. I canâ€™t fault her for wanting peace and stability. However, if she ever comes out with an attempt to justify the Israeli Armyâ€™s actions, my generally positive impression of her will do a 180. She has never come out with anti-Muslim comments, but if they live in an occupied settlement (this is information I gathered via fj; Anna has never shared their whereabouts other than their living in the country), I wonder how neighborly they really feel towards them - and I do recognize that the Israel/Palestine antagonism goes both ways.
The family will be moving again soon (she has not shared where theyâ€™ll be going) and it sounds like theyâ€™re downsizing. I really hope that Mr. T can find stable, profitable employment, as she has put herself in a place where she is dependent upon him, financially. Of course, she sees this as living the way God intended and tries to put on a happy face, but thereâ€™s something about her tone that sounds disappointed. She wants the Orthodox Jewish Woman Dream and itâ€™s not turning out too dreamy.
I like her love of animals and nature, playing with her children, doing crafts (some very pretty crochet work) and intelligence.
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21 hours ago, DillyDally said:
Among other terms, we use the word "Slip" for underwear in German (for men and women). So you'll understand why I was very confused the first time I read about those modesty slips some fundie maidens wear underneath their skirts.
This confused me so much when I first moved to Germany and was learning German. I though I had heard it wrong. I think it is a bit old fashioned now though? I only know "Unterhose" as being commonly used, but I was in the North.
@AisThank you so much for the confidence booster. I do find how I am "parenting" (probably more planning to) my newborn is much different than I did with my older son. Also thank you for the NHS info. We will for sure make him appointment ASAP to get it on record again and push for the referral to be taken seriously. We did get a letter from the pediatrician (?) confirming they had received the referral. I will check if they have a secretaries number on there and give them a ring. That is really excellent advice, I would have never thought to do that, I had no idea so many appointments are actually cancelled.
@just_ordinary Yes he just turned 14. The thing with the laundry is, I can't (couldn't) implement that solution since I didn't know the problem was going on. When I did do the unders wash I always gave him a basket and had him sort it out himself (all socks and unders, which originally started because I was confusing my husbands and my sons socks so I decided to just wash them in separate loads) that night before and to leave downstairs in the morning. That was working well so it was not like I was going through and checking them for poo stains. He would also occasionally wash a pair out and let me know he had needed to change. It was enough that I did not suspect anything. I do think he was/is super embarrassed about it. I don't know how he could not be considering how my ex has apparently shamed him about it the entire time (which I did not find out till Feb, complex family situation here). I think our only recourse at this moment as far as talking will be letting him know we could them and took care of them, but that we know the issue is still ongoing and he needs to be honest at minimum that he needs another doctors appointment. I have told him in the past that he could just say that if he was uncomfortable talking to us, but I think he is also uncomfortable talking to a doctor ("strangers" in general are not his thing).
@Greendoor That is hard to step to take admitting your baby is a young man! I am working towards this. He is really really bad with responsibility so we have been intensely working on that bit over the last year. He lost a lot of independence when we moved to the UK and we have tried to give him back all he had, but a lot the ways things were being done are just not the same so I am still looking for ways to bring it back in. He really does need to do more around the house. We were planning on the cooking a meal thing once a week and I totally forgot about that (he does know how to cook several meals, I don't want him going off to Uni and having to live off frozen pizza only!). I do see your point though, he is growing up and I really have to let him. I will have a talk with my husband (who is so much more objective than I am with him) and see where he thinks we can make changes on this already and come up with a plan for more. I see this with my little sister who is 19, she ended up moving back home after her first year away at Uni because she could not cope with being on her own and I really don't want that for my son. I want him to be independent ans explore and have his own life, I really need to get busy on making that a reality!
@Mama Mia I had that feeling, I will make sure we do this at the next appointment.
@victoriasponge Yes it was after that it happened. We will mention it at the next appointment. Checking with his school is a good idea I hadn't though of. He really loves his school and they are very much about individual students being helped however possible. I will email his head of year and see if he knows of anything at the school or anything local and how I can get in touch. Thank you for the advice!
Colusion, it says
Hi I'm a Russian spy, please tell me about how to hack you
I have no idea what I was thinking when I predicted August 15!
I just want to thank you for these amazing Bro Gary threads. I’ve read them all from the beginning (but only registered here recently) and I have laughed SO much, you guys are amazing!
Also, am I the only one who always types “Bro Gary” instead of “Gary Hawkins” in the facebook search bar? I keep forgetting “Bro Gary” is not his actual name...