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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/04/2019 in all areas

  1. closetcagebaby

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    Well, Jana’s massive cocaine empire had to come crashing down at some point I guess.
  2. Rachel333

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    Why is everyone so quick to dismiss the possibility of international art theft?
  3. marmalade

    Dillards 83: WTG JILL - PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

    This is huge, y'all! Isreal is registered for kindergarten at a PUBLIC SCHOOL!
  4. kiwi

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    At what point does “poor anna” become “stupid anna”..?? This shit has been going on publicly since 2015, four years, another two pregnancies. Sorry but if that was my husband, the shop would be shut. I just cant fathom how someone can justify sticking by him and having more kids?!? At what point is she complicit in his behaviour?? They all just enable him. I don’t feel sorry for anna, shes “made her bed” so to speak, i feel sorry for the kids. They didnt ask to be born into this dire situation
  5. Ok, I'm going to tell y'all a little story. For background, I was raised Catholic but am long since lapsed from the church - the abuse scandals were just too much for me. And for the last twenty years I've only had the wooliest sense of there being a God/heaven and have no idea what that might look like. My mantra for life is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"and that seems to work just fine... So anyway. Twelve years ago my sweet, kind mother dropped dead. No ill health or warning signs, just boom: gone. Dad and her were a very close couple so it actually wasn't really that much of a surprise to us when a year later he was diagnosed with cancer of the brain and started declining very rapidly. I absolutely believe his heart was so broken that his body followed. Shortly afterwards, we were told he had about two months to live. I was lucky enough to be able to give up work and spend every minute of that two months with him, nursing him in his own house as he weakened and eventually became paralysed. I've talked about that time period on here before so I won't dwell on it now. Anyway, one morning Dad didn't wake up. He was alive but unconscious and when the doctor came, he said this was probably it, the final stage, that Dad would quietly slip away at some point in the next week or so. The doctor went off about his business and I was alone in the house, sitting beside Dad's bed, just looking at him and stroking his head. And I'll never know how I knew, but suddenly I thought "Holy fuck!! He's going to do it!! He's going to die now!!" In an instant I had climbed up on the bed and cuddled him to me. And I held him and told him it was ok, that we'd all be fine, that he shouldn't worry about us, that it was ok". And he stopped breathing. I held him for a few more minutes. I knew he was dead; his chest was still, there was no breathing sounds and I'd heard the faint rattle of that final "death breath" (once heard, never forgotten - and I'd heard it before with a loved one...). So yeah, there wasn't any doubt in my mind that he was dead. And I knew I should ring my siblings and tell them, start all the tasks that come with a death...except I couldn't, because while I knew Dad was dead, I kind of also felt he was still there!!!! I could feel him in the room!!!! Next minute, I got the single biggest fright of my entire life. You know that deep intense smell of a person that you get when you bury your face in their neck? Well, I smelled my mother. As real as if she was standing behind me. So I dropped Dad like a hot potato, PARACHUTED up off the bed and turned, expecting to see her! But there was nothing there; just an empty room. And a few seconds later, when I turned back to him, Dad was gone. Dead; a shell of a body left on the bed. Here's the thing. I'm not religious, never really have been. I don't know what's ahead of us when we die and it's scary sometimes. But I KNOW, from the absolute depths of my being, that my mother came for my father to take him there. Their love managed to transcend whatever the fuck death is. And I know their love for me is such that they'll both come to meet me when my time comes. So it's going to be ok. That's what IrishCarrie thinks anyhoo ❤️ Love to all of you who are grieving. Today (weirdly enough!) is the 10th anniversary of my Dad's death. My heart is very low and even the absolute belief that I will someday be with him again is little comfort. Wotcha gonna do, eh? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
  6. Geez, the kid was literally just born. Can we at least give her a couple months before we start ranking her looks in ‘Hot or Not: Duggar Baby Edition’? lol
  7. Perrierwithlemon

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    Me, earlier this year: FJ will be crazy in November because of baby palooza! Homeland Security and Duggar karma: hold my beer.
  8. VeryNikeSeamstress

    Jinjer 53: Telework, Teleschool, or Telenothing?

    ^^^ So you've gone from wanting to free Jinger to wanting to be Jinger free.
  9. As reply on @Ivycoveredtowers message: If the Swansons really want to push another Duggar in law I could see Jer and Lily in a few years. Personally I would vote for James and Lily and naming their first son Harry.
  10. VelociRapture

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    I tried writing this several times and had to delete it all a few times. I’m currently a day shy of 20 weeks along and I can honestly say this exact situation has been my worst nightmare for weeks now. All I can say is the following. In my opinion, the most respectful way to react to a specific family’s loss is by using the terminology they themselves prefer to use. We don’t know what Joy and Austin prefer because they didn’t say in their post. What they did say is that their very wanted baby girl had no heartbeat, that they chose to name her Annabel, that they are grieving deeply for her loss, and they are asking for support from loved ones and fans during a truly difficult time in their lives. I’m not a fan and I don’t like their beliefs, but I think you’d have to have a complete lack of empathy to not feel sympathy for them right now. So, in light of what we do know from their post: I am so deeply sorry for their loss of Annabel. I hope they find comfort and strength in their loved ones as they begin to process and grieve for their daughter.
  11. Destiny

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    Not if I can help it! 💪👩‍💻
  12. Iamtheway

    Jed is running for State House

    I actually don’t think anyone should be judged by the actions of their brother or parents. Jed was 4 when Josh molested his sisters and he was 16 when it became public. He shouldn’t loose the election because of his family members, he should loose it because he is an uneducated, unexperienced, underqualified manboy that doesn’t make the decisions in his own life and has no business making decisions that effect the lives of other people. He has a godly penis though so he might still win.
  13. I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. 😱
  14. fluffernutter

    Seewalds 42: Trying to Stay Relevant

    Today is actually my 3 month sober-versary. I don't drink because, well, I guess you could say it was becoming an issue. 😐 While I'm not happy I ended up in that place, I'm glad it's behind me. Hopefully, anyway. Gotta stay humble.
  15. LacyMay

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    Huffpost had a really well done article (link broken at the end of this post) about how while Joy's Instagram photos may have felt like a lot they were important and deserving to be shared. I found it really worthwhile to read and would reccomend it to anyone trying to parse out how they feel. One quote I really found valuable was "Between pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, birth announcements and monthly milestone photos, so much of pregnancy and motherhood is encouraged to be public. But, if we’re going to clamour for bump photos and videos of blue balloons bursting out of “boy or girl?” boxes, we should also be prepared for profoundly uncomfortable miscarriage reveals. Because one in four pregnancies ends in one." We speculate on when the next Duggar daughter is due, we speculate on gender, we dissect sex reveals etc we choose to be a part of their pregnancy journey even to snark on it. Inevitably a part of that journal will involve loss. I don't remember seeing nearly as much discussion or controversy about seeing Jessa and Ben post about Ivy's birth, not a lot of discussion about then being taken advantage of of coerced to share. So why is sharing a loss any different? Because it's uncomfortable? Joy and Austin are grieving they have no responsibility to ensure our comfort. Article can be found here https ::// www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffingtonpost.ca/amp/entry/joy-anna-duggar-miscarriage-photo_ca_5d1f8801e4b01b8347362cd6/
  16. Georgiana

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    I think it's a good thing that Joy and Austin have beautiful photos to remember Annabell by. Sometimes when you see images of yourself looking rough or particularly haggard, it can bring with it that gut punch where your body reminds you of exactly how distraught you were in that moment. It's hard to look at photos where trauma is on clear display, especially when it's you. But photos where a person looks put together are easier to look at. I think Carlin did a very good thing when she encouraged Joy to allow her to make her up. I think they will someday be very grateful to Carlin for her influence. Joy and Austin now have nice photos they can use to remember Annabell that don't immediately gut punch them with the trauma of the loss, but instead encourage them to remember her as they mostly knew her: the daughter who was expected with great love and anticipation, but that they never got to meet. These are photos they can display and share with Gideon and any future children. These are photos they can share with friends and family. All of those can be healing experiences, and these are photos that can be used to heal. Do I think they needed to be shared? Yes, actually, I do. Because Joy and Austin publicly announced a pregnancy, and this is a beautiful and simple way for them to announce the loss that doesn't require them to take time away from their grief. Because these are lovely photos and appropriate to be used in a public and open discussion about pregnancy loss, which is important. The ones I have seen are incredibly tasteful, not that taste at all is something that really matters in a moment like this, but for what it is worth, they are. I think they likely have more of Annabell herself that they have kept private. But the ones they have shared are honest and beautiful photos of loss. I think they have handled the loss of Annabell with more grace and discretion so far than we generally see from Duggars. I think that's likely to change in the near future, sadly, but so far I can find nothing in anything Joy and Austin have posted to criticize.
  17. Sassy,that's what my father told me ,too.What you said. Over 7 years ago,my youngest son and Mr Melon were in an horrific car accident.Another driver was speeding and clipped Mr Melon changing lanes,causing Mr Melon to lose control,the vehicle spun,then flipped 4-5 times.They were not wearing their seat belts.Mr Melon was thrown behind the driver's seat,our son was ejected from the vehicle.He had a closed head injury,irreversible brain damage.He could no longer breathe on his own,he had to have a vent.The doctor's told me his situation,the poor quality of his life.I was in denial ,at first,I did not want to believe what they told me.I agonized over the accident..wondering if they had worn their seatbelts if it would have been different,but most of all,and this still bothers me,I feared that my son's last conscious moments were terrifying.My father was good at comforting words,he said it was probably quick,and once he hit his head,everything went black.He reminded me that we do not remember before our life. But something happened.One day,they brought in the machine to do an EEG.I watched them.I saw their faces,and I am not a doctor but I knew my son was brain dead.We agreed to remove him from his vent and the organ donation could begin,but by law,had to wait a certain length of time,before that time had lapsed,my son began to over-breathe on his vent,and moved his legs,probably reflexes.The person in charge of his respiratory care had told me the day before she was having to give him more and more oxygen.But because he moved his legs,and began to over-breathe his vent,they could not proceed because it would be considered assault.A few days later,we did remove him from his vent,and the hospital allowed me to go into the operating room(they had to prepare everything for the organ donation).I did not want my son to die,alone.so I was allowed to be with him until he was gone,
  18. GutenbergGirl

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    (There probably won't be much eloquence to this post, but hopefully I can get my point across.) I lost my baby at 24 weeks, when I was 14. It will be 30 years later this year. He was born alive, right at the edge of viability, after I had a partial placental abruption. The hospital didn't have a NICU but did offer to have a helicopter from the nearest children's hospital there for transport to their NICU. I knew that if he survived, he would most likely always have major challenges, from lack of o2 from the abruption, or just from extreme preemie issues. (My mother was an RN. Her college medical textbooks were fascinating to me.) His father and I chose to not have any heroic measures taken. I held him as he made his first tiny squeak, until he exhaled gently for the last time. From that day to this, my mother refers to what happened as "just a miscarriage." My heart breaks for the other poster, who seems to feel as strongly about the word miscarriage, as I do about my mother's phrase. I think my mother's words DO minimize *my* experience. But, no one here used anything close to that. I also had to have a D&C later that night. Despite having had a partial abruption, the rest of my placenta wouldn't detach. So, I had to go to the OR to have it removed. Somewhere in there I got two units of blood. I am fuzzy on when, though. My point, I think, is that it doesn't really matter how long it has been, or what term is used, it still hurts to remember what might have been. I hope Joy and Austin have the support they need, and truly understand that nothing they did, or didn't do, caused this.
  19. Can we agree the real name for this is "tragedy"? How terrible for them both. I hope they have support and love while they grieve.
  20. ViolaSebastian

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    I prefer Miranda Rights Duggar, myself.
  21. All I have to contribute to this thread is that these pictures are really taking me back to my labor and delivery days as a brand new RN. We were given very comprehensive bereavement training. After delivery we would let the parents and family guide us. Hold the baby, don't hold the baby, assist the parents with bathing the baby, bath the baby privately, let the baby stay in the room with the parents (sometimes for up to 48 hours), or take the baby away. We would take pictures of the baby with parents or privately then in this case file them away with any other momentos in case the parents returned and changed their minds about keeping them. We would also take footprints, place a purple butterfly on the door to identify this was a bereavement situation, ask if the family wanted to meet with the chaplin, and many times cry very openly with the family. If we were asked by the family to attend the funeral, we would. I would always volunteer to take care of these families almost to my own detriment because I am very much an empath and unfortunately it did take a toll on my emotional well being. Just wanted to share.
  22. AussieKrissy

    Grandma Mary Died

    I kind of feel sorry for Cousin Amy. She was very close to her Nanna and it has to hurt that she won’t get to share her baby with her. I have to say it must have been sudden.
  23. feministxtian

    Mills Family 5: YouTube Really Is Optional

    My grown son climbed into the bed with his dad and started trying to shake him awake, I'll never forget how hard he cried or how loud he yelled that his dad owed him at least another 20 years so he could see the achievements my son would reach. The hospice chaplain came in and put his hand on my son's shoulder while he cried. I've learned that reactions to death are irrational. Yes, it makes people uncomfortable, but life is messy, full of messy moments, not all moments of roses and violins in the background. Facing death is messy, it's not talked about because it IS messy. If you don't like what I say, feel free to scroll on, put me on ignore, whatever...I'm speaking MY truth to this situation. Its not a situation I'd ever care to repeat, but it is my reality, it happened.
  24. Their birth announcement be like: The eagle has landed! At 3:45 this morning, Abbie's labor accelerated and at 9:08 it reached peak altitude with the birth of our newest blessing, Jet Fuel Duggar. John David was right there in the cockpit waiting to catch this miracle and he's now treating mom and baby to some first class tlc. We are feeling so blessed blah blah blah blah, Jesus, blah.
  25. byzant

    Joy & Austin 29: RV Living

    Sorry but this is nonsense. What is a government for if not to ensure the basic needs of its citizens are met. the idea that it's for the rich to decide on the "deserving or undeserving" and that the poor have to beg to meet basic needs is genuinely awful. Either humans accept we are all interdependent and sign up to be part of a supportive society or we go it alone and in the case of the us go bankrupt for being evil enough to lose your job or break your leg!!! Charity shouldn't replace what societies of interdependent people do. And the super rich don't get to feel virtuous for contributing the bare minimum to society. People don't get to decide on the course of others lives just because they have the fortune /luck to have spare cash and a society which claims that begging the rich is an answer to need is profoundly disfuntional! (Ie American health care) . Malthus wasn't right thanks to the welfare state and an understanding of the duties of people to one another.
  26. feministxtian

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    A friend of mine lost a dearly wanted and loved baby girl just 6 days after her birth. There are pictures of this baby from birth until the day they stopped life support. I promise you I would beat anyone who would talk shit about these pictures. Some of them are definitely not pretty, they might be triggering to some, but these are the ONLY pictures she has of her baby girl. Talking shit about Joy and Austin taking pictures of their baby, of Joy getting "done up" for pictures is totally BEC. Until you hold your dead baby in your arms, STFU For the record I lost a wanted baby 11 days after his birth at 26 weeks. I wish I had pictures of him.
  27. I personally find it really inappropriate that the majority of the three pages are discussing miscarriage vs stillbirth. Joy has experienced of the worst losses a person can experience. Full stop. What a terrible season for Joy to enter in, as there are so many baby girls due in that family around a short period of time. I hope that they have a strong and sensitive support group around them. While their faith is sure to bring them comfort, I hope it doesn't stifle their grief, or have them expected to put on brave faces as a 'testimony' for others. I hope they are given their space to properly mourn as they would like to. Edit: Would a mod be able to update the title of the thread so people are aware?
  28. OyHiOh

    Mills Family 5: YouTube Really Is Optional

    Just saying . . . . the "death and dying are private" thing . . . . well that mentality leads to caregivers, friends/family, and people approaching death feeling incredibly isolated. Conversation, yes, in public forums like this one, about our experiences of living and death ease our own isolation and make death just a little easier for the next person whether facing their own or that of a loved one. Not everyone handles that conversation well (looking at you, Tom) but that doesn't mean we should not share details of experience and what we felt. For an hour after Mr Oy passed, I sat with my arms wrapped around one of his. I don't think anyone could have pried me away if they'd tried. A couple people I've told this to have said they thought it was a "weird" reaction. I tell that story because someone, eventually, is going to sit next to the bed of a loved one who just passed or is close to, and wonder if it's weird to sit the way I did. No, no it's not weird. It's only weird because we don't talk about our experiences of death out loud.
  29. singsingsing

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    PLEASE LET THIS BE THE END OF THE DUGGAR EMPIRE. Please, Rufus. They've had it coming for so. damn. long. Also:
  30. feministxtian

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    This is pretty much where we're at right now. We have a week that has doctors' appointments every day, including chemo. He says that he will make a decision about continuing treatment vs. hospice then. His body doesn't work right anymore. He has dementia-like symptoms due to the brain tumors and radiation treatment. He has seizures. I can say (and hope I don't get shit on for this) that I hope his end comes soon and peacefully before this goddamn disease robs him of more.
  31. Cora Persephona

    Josiah and Lauren 16: Just Another Young Fundie Couple

    I don't think that by choosing an ABC theme they expect to go all the way through to Z (which doesn't mean that I think they will use birth control, I don't think they will). In my mind the ABC theme has more to do with the following: a) there are obviously a lot of letters between A an Z, so the there reaffirms the fact that they are open to as many babies as God wants, even an alphabet full. b) Asa and any other future (possible) miscarriage will be shown as being just as important as their living children and it will be harder for people to forget that these miscarriages existed since there will be obvious gaps in the names of their live children. To me is seems as just another way of pushing their pro forced birth agenda. c) I don't have a point C, but I was too committed to the theme.
  32. As someone who has grown up in the shadow of their dead sibling.... My sister was born in '88 and passed after a few days. I grew up in her shadow, with years of being told I'm not like her etc. Tonight was the first time Mother turned to me to say I am not a replacement. Bella, I hope you don't have to wait 29 years to hear those words.
  33. Lillymuffin

    Dillards 80: Everybody Take a Shot!

    I lost a (very wanted) baby shortly before birth this summer. I took no pictures of her, and allowed no one else to, either. Her father predeceased her, so that wasn’t an issue. My family thinks I will regret this, but I’m fine with my decision. I’m going against family tradition here, but I strongly dislike seeing the guest of honor at a viewing or funeral after they’ve been made up. I definitely don’t want to remember my sweet girl that way.
  34. I also read Anna's post. I am sorry she is so ill and I hope and pray for her recovery. While I don't agree with Maxwellian theology (at all), I also hope for only the best for her. I REALLY struggle with her theodicies (this is God's plan, God is good, etc.). I am a person of faith who parented a complex child for 21 years until his death six weeks ago. He died of non-Covid respiratory issues - but he was in the ICU, on a ventilator, and we were caught up in the COVID related hospital panic. I have never been able to believe that God was the author of my son's illnesses, suffering, and death. God was with us - yes. But God was not the author. Because if God was the author of my child's suffering then God is a cruel piece of work. Rabbi Kushner in his book "Why Bad Things Happen to Good People" went a long way in repairing my relationship with God. In it he basically says something along the lines of "For you people who believe God intentionally did all this stuff, sorry you worship a cruel bastard. My God isn't like that". That worked for me. I hope her faith brings her strength. And I hope she keeps her mouth shut about God being the author of cruel illnesses when spending time with other patients who are scared and ill. As an aside, during our son's journey, and particularly in the two weeks leading up to his death, we worked with a spiritual care professional/chaplain. I wonder if this is something Anna would choose? (Good) Chaplains are trained to work with the faith and theology of the person they are supporting, so they would adapt to her particular faith and worldview. But I wonder Steve (or Chris) would have a hissy fit??
  35. HideousGreenShirt

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    *Immediately runs over to Derick Dillard's twitter*
  36. When Mr. Xtian was in the hospital, I usually did not stay the night. Depending on the admission, I'd be there from 8-12 hours a day, every day. This last time w/hospice, I honestly didn't stay long at each visit, I'd go in the morning for a couple of hours, grab some food, make some phone calls, go back for a few hours repeat. Yesterday I left about 5pm, they called me back about 7 since his insulin cannula had come out so I went back and replaced it, left about 8. He died about 4 1/2 hours later. By then, it was painful to sit with him, he was actively dying, struggling to breathe. All I did was cry. I am happy that the last semi-coherent thing he said was "I love you" to me and puckered his lips up for a kiss. That was Sunday night.
  37. AngelaJennifer

    Joy & Austin 28: loss and mourning

    Hi all, long time (loooooong time!) lurker, first time poster, etc. My own daughter lost a baby at around the same stage of pregnancy as did Joy, here. (I think my daughter was slightly further along, maybe 22 weeks? I can't remember exactly.) Anyway, my heart absolutely goes out to Joy and Austin. My little grandson would have been four this past March, and I miss him. My daughter has some beautiful pictures they took in the hospital, and a memory box that the nurses made for her. We celebrate my grandson each year, depending on how my daughter is feeling that day, and what she wishes to do. Joy is so young, and that's a big load of grief to have on her heart for such a young woman. My youngest child is only a few months older than Joy, and I can only imagine how this kind of thing would affect him, at the stage of life he is right now, with that all-important prefrontal cortex still forming. On a lighter note, it feels good to be "official", at long last. 😁 I've been reading on here from time to time for years. Besides the Duggar family, I find Jill Rodrigues to be highly interesting. Thanks for having me. 😊
  38. Aoife

    Dillards 81: Volunteering for God

    I'm a little late to the discussion, but I want to speak up praise of the NHS. I have breast cancer. I've had chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy, all free of charge. (Ok, I know I've paid through a lifetime of taxes, but still.) My first hospital diagnostic appointment was a week after I found a lump, and was followed by more tests and scans within another fortnight. Chemo was organised and started in another 3 weeks. This timescale is fairly standard. Unfortunately, my cancer resisted all that, and has progressed. Since I became incurable, I have attended one of the top research hospitals in the country to particiate in clinical trials. I have access to new and experimental treatments. I have had several hospital admissions to stabilise me so that I can continue. They also provide counselling. All still free at the point of use. Yes, I am still likely to die soon, unless one of the trials comes good. But it won't be because we didn't/couldn't afford to try everything, and my family won't be bankrupted in the process.
  39. @amendgitan I'm not aruging who has it worse, Josh or Anna. Girls unquestionably have it worse in that cult (though I'd argue boys have their own set of burdens). I'm saying that Josh and Anna were both raised ignorant of the world, restricted by their parents, and taught the same rigid expectations. Josh admitted that he only wants 2 to 3 kids, that he wanted to be a lawyer, and based on his actions, probably wanted a divorce. Yet his upbringing says he must have children for Jesus, that he can't go to school, and can't get a divorce. He can work, so what? What good is working when you do something you don't care about? At least Anna likes being a babymaker. As for the molestation, well, Anna hasn't done it, but she's known about it since 2014/15 at the latest. We don't know that Josh is a pedophile--other posters have already explained why we can't necessarily say he is--but Anna has still given birth to two more children after that was made known. Two more children to bring around a known child molester. BTW, I hate Josh. Absolutely loathe him. He could make the choice to get a divorce and put himself through school with his reality tv money. He could tell Anna we're using contraception. He hasn't. It's his fault he's miserable, and it's his fault he hurts others. But Anna could also leave. She could change. She's been exposed to DC, where even the conservative Christian politicians are "liberal" compared to her. She's been exposed to her more worldly siblings and Duggar-in-laws like Jinger, Jill, and even Jessa, and hasn't changed. She's not a child to be excused; she's a 30-year-old grown ass woman and mother of 6, who is responsible for herself. Before Joshgate, Anna gleefully talked about how her marriage was perfect and godly. She helped Josh work to deny equal rights to LGBT+ people. She compared Black Lives Matter to black women having abortions. To reiterate, she actively said on her social media that the murder of innocent black people by police is the same as aborting an embryo. Fuck Anna. She is one of the most hardcore Kool-Aid drinking fundies out there. If she's being oppressed by Christian patriarchy, it's because she likes being oppressed. Her own daughter is around 10 years old now--eight years away from becoming a babymaker herself. As to Anna's gender excusing her, well, this sub never really gives the grown Duggar woman a pass either. Aside from Josh, Anna's probably done the most harm, because she was the smiling perfect wife of a member of a political hate group, actively promoting the message. How many fundraisers did she go to for that lobbying hate group? How many Republican politicians did she talk to while making doe eyes on Josh's arm? How much negativity did she promote while being the Queen Bee of 19 Kids and Counting? Anna's not innnocent. It's exhausting that we keep treating her like she's not responsible for her own actions. She's 30, and has had ample exposure to the outside world. She stays because she likes it.
  40. singsingsing

    Dillards 83: WTG JILL - PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

    Same. Context matters. Seemed obvious to me she was just joking about one of the aspects of public school that’s nice for parents, not implying that teachers are babysitters.
  41. LacyMay

    Duggars Raided by Homeland Security

    I've been trying to not say anything on this for a while (before this thread) because I truly despise Josh. But. Child on Child Sexual Abuse (CoCSA) is not the same thing as an adult sexually abusing a child and to the best of my knowledge is not an indicator towards pedophilia. It's also actually not rare and heavily unreported so odds are that some of us actually know a victim or perpetrator of it. What Josh did is horrible it was terrible and not dealt with appropriately at all which was a disservice to him and his victims. BUT and this is the part that I hate saying, at some point we need to try and separate 30 year old Josh from 15 year old Josh because we have no evidence that adult Josh has any inappropriate interest in children. None. At all. Adult Josh has not to our knowledge demonstrated that he is capable of sexually abusing a child. We know he's been unfaithful to his wife, we know he has awful beliefs, we know he has likely had some shady business dealings. All of these make him a shitty adult. Accusing someone of being a pedophile or having child porn in their possession is some pretty heavy stuff to be throwing around unfounded. All we know is a business linked to him is under investigation. We don't even know that the investigation is linked to him. That's a big step away from him being a pedophile. I was a victim of CoCSA and while I don't think the guy who did it is a good person. I have no reason to believe he is a pedophile.
  42. I just want to say something about suggestions that Andrea Mills brought on her own suffering. I think such suggestions come from the very normal and very human wish to believe that we have control over what happens to us. If we can find some reason why someone else became seriously ill, then we can make sure we are not similarly afflicted by simply not doing what the sufferer did or by doing what the sufferer did not do. This is an illusion. Yes, we have some limited control over our own health--we can choose not to smoke, we can choose to exercise, to avoid sugar, to use alcohol in moderation. And these choices do affect us. But they do not *protect* us nor are there any guarantees. Jim Fixx (author of The Complete Book of Running) died of a heart attack at 52. Two anecdotes. Recently a friend was diagnosed with (and successfully treated for, thankfully) lymphoma. In retrospect, she realized that she had been having symptoms but at the time she attributed them to stress, to fatigue, to her normal life as a single parent. It would never have occurred to her to see a doctor for such vague, mild indispositions. Nor would it occur to most of us, nor, most likely, would it have occurred to Andrea Mills even if she had more trust in the medical profession--at least, not in time to stop the cancer. In my friend's case, she was diagnosed because her doctor had ordered a scan in an excess of caution, based purely on some family history. If she'd waited until she had the sorts of symptoms that send any reasonable person to the doctor, she'd be dead now. And decades ago at age 32, I was diagnosed with a serious chronic illness after a lifetime of following every rule, and I mean every rule--no smoking, no drugs, barely any alcohol, regular exercise, healthy weight, and a personal life that was just short of being a nun. When I got out of the hospital, more than a few of my friends pissed me off by offering advice on how I could improve my diet or my response to stress. The subtext of their advice was, you did this to yourself because of something you ate, or didn't eat, or because you are a high-strung person. I am not a high-strung person and I eat better than you do, therefore I am safe from getting sick the way you did. Which is bullshit. I got sick because, well, because I got sick. It was likely in my DNA; other family members have the same illness. So let's not try to comfort ourselves by explaining to ourselves and others just how Andrea Mills could have prevented her fate. Most likely, with this kind of cancer, she was a dead woman walking by the time she had doctor-worthy symptoms. And it could happen to any one of us.
  43. Glasgowghirl

    Duggar Business Investigated by Homeland Security 2

    I'm not believing anything until arrests are made.
  44. 78 points
    My husband died at 12:40am PDT today. I'm numb
  45. allthegoodnamesrgone

    John David & Abbie 8: Schrodinger No More, Baby Passenger Onboard

    I guess the cockpit has more than one meaning. I'll see myself out...
  46. OyHiOh

    Kristen Nicole Young

    As regular readers know, my late husband died of flu last winter (H1N1 to be specific). He had his flu vax (standard flu has included H1N1 for six or eight years now) but had had broncitis for a week or so before flu exposure. Just too much for his body to handle. One of his ICU docs told me - at a point where we were cautiously optomistic - "unfortunately, flu is still a disease that kills." This year, my children, who normally protest any and all shots, were on my tail about flu vax's the second this year's batch came out. Doctor's office has a new nurse, who had no idea of the family history. You should have seen her face when my kids sat there quizzing her if the vax has H1N1 in it because "yeah, my dad died of H1N1 last year and I don't want to!!!!"

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