I'm sure that none of the people on this website have any idea who I am, but I mean that's part of why I've decided to do this blog *here* specifically. Ain't none of you have a clue who I am aside from someone who occasionally posts random remarks on threads mostly centered in Quiver Full of Duggars. Clean slate, so to speak. 

My name is Emmaline and I have two modes when it comes to my interests: Utterly obsessed or completely disinterested. For nearly two years running, up until December 15th of this year, I was completely and utterly obsessed with my idol, "Weird Al" Yankovic. I went to four concerts on his most recent tour. 

I happened to watch a CinemaSins episode on youtube on December 15th and that all changed in an instant. The CinemaSins episode was on Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace. 

In an instant, there was an awakening in me. I saw Qui-Gon Jinn's (Okay, Liam Neeson's) face and I was suddenly and forcefully reminded of my very first memory: Sitting in front of the TV in my mom and dad's bedroom, watching one of the Ewok movies with my mom. In an instant I was suddenly and quite painfully obsessed with Star Wars, as though nothing had changed except one huge thing.

Star Wars, in my household, has traditionally been a girly thing. Mom and I would watch and rewatch the original trilogy on her original VHS tapes. We watched the Ewok Adventure movie(s?) (I'm really not sure if we had one or both) together. 

When I was ten years old, Episode One came out in theaters. My mom and my aunt brought me and my cousin to go see it. Ten year old me was positively blown away. The end credits rolled and I started talking.

And I did not shut up for more than three hours. My mom would tease me about this for years after, but I didn't care. Star Wars was everything to me. Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi and the entire ranks of the Jedi were EVERYTHING to me. 

We ended up seeing Episode One fourteen times in theaters together. Fourteen times, my mom had to sit through that movie. She never once complained. I almost wonder if she didn't love it as much as I do. I guess I'll never get to ask.

In all, I saw Episode One fifteen times in the theater, once with my cousin somewhere in the middle of all that. I memorized the movie. I still have the entire thing memorized. All of the dialogue (except the extended pod race bullcrap). I can recite the entire thing from start to finish with perfect timing and almost perfect inflections. 

We saw Episode Two in theaters-- and subsequently made fun of it. Neither of us had any love for the acting, but we loved the movie because it was Star Wars. I think it turned my mom off the series a bit, though. When Episode Three came out I had to see it in secret with a friend at a discount theater because she wouldn't go with me for the longest time. I then had to pretend my viewing of Episode Three (my only other viewing of Episode Three in theaters, whereas we still went and saw Episode Two like five times) with her in Laughlin, NV on the most epic road trip I've ever been a part of was my first time seeing it. To this day I don't think she bought it. 

And then Star Wars dried up. There was a whole lot of nothing after 2005 came and went. Sure, Mom and I watched the movies every so often, but for the most part it was as though there weren't going to be any more movies so what was the point in watching them again? What was the point in staying interested, especially after those last two were so subpar (it'll be a cold day in hell before I speak ill of Episode One). We stopped thinking about it. At least, I did.

And then we get news of a new Star Wars, but there's a major difference in my life. I can't find it in me to become excited when it's announced.

My mother died in 2011 following a brief but extensive battle with cancer and an act of medical malpractice so horrifyingly huge that there's literally no excuse for it to have happened. There was no longer anyone for me to get excited with. 

Plus JarJar Abrams was attached and after the Into Darkness fiasco with Star Trek I was completely unwilling to give him a chance.

Until a few days before Christmas when I decided I might as well buy a ticket and go see the new Star Wars movie. There was a disturbance in the Force, a strange awakening in me when I watched the CinemaSins video on Episode One. Very suddenly and without warning, I was a child again and my mother was there with me again and everything was right in my world. 

So I waited until I knew I could get a ticket and I went. I went and I waited nervously in my seat for that opening fanfare. By the time the text crawl was over and the movie was properly beginning, I had tears streaming down my face.

By the end of the movie, I was in love. By the end of my second viewing, I was obsessed. I've seen it five times now. I plan to see it at least five more. 

I've been writing fanfiction like it's going out of style. I've been drawing fanart. It's very much like I've recaptured my childhood. 

For a little over two hours at a time in the theater, it's almost like my mom's back with me. Everything is Star Wars and nothing hurts.

Tune in next time for probably more Star Wars ranting, but also possibly the impossibly long tale of why Weird Al is so ridiculously important to me.