You know those people who aren't completely self-absorbed? How do they get like that?
Are they saints? Born without the asshole gene? What? Because the irony of my coming to terms with how completely self centered I am is that in order to come to terms with it I need to focus on....me.
This would never happen in my real life because I live in Utopia - but let me tell you a fictional story about a make-believe work place....
So the cliff note version is our protagonist was sick yesterday and righteously pissed off that one day of her much treasured 4 day weekend was spent on the couch feeling too crappy to do anything but whine. Which she usually enjoys, but whining for sport is entertaining. Whining for survival just sucks.
So she get to work after pouting all the way here that she can't call in sick because ...reasons...when she should be able to because she lost a vacation day being sick, even though she feels fine now. Our heroine gets in and find out a character in this little skit is out because his wife is having major surgery. Not major "but this is routine" surgery but "holy fuck, I can't believe it...really? No way...my heart is breaking for her, how are the kids handling it?" surgery. She felt like such a shit for her own ridiculous self-pity and really felt bad for the wife. I felt genuine sympathy for him also...for about 10 seconds (maybe 8) when the rest of the message sunk in.
He's only out today and will be back in the office tomorrow.
And our heroine leaped off the Cliff of Self-Absorption into the rolling Sea of Self-Centeredness when she realized she was completely, honestly, and totally PISSED. This isn't someone non-exempt who is forced to choose between being with a loved on for a few days or paying the bills because they cannot afford to miss a day's pay. This is someone who is refusing the offer of taking some paid time off to be with her because it's not necessary and he has things to do at work.
He is now seen as a fucking martyr and helping contribute to the mindset that only the lazy slackasses need time off for anything. No matter how much time one has on the books it's not easy to take without repercussions and our protagonist knows damn well this will be trotted out ad infinitum. "If Mr. Company Guy came in the day after his wife had devastating surgery then why would Normal People need to use their earned time off for their own personal needs which don't rise to the level of "Holy Fuck!?"
She isn't wholly without feelings - she truly feels terrible for what his wife is going through, but this is coupled with being fucking pissed at his contribution to a culture where people are shamed for needing a sick or personal day. And if she (I should have named by protagonist...let's call her Muffy) was undergoing this she would be so pissed if her husband were offered time off with pay to be with her and he refused because he had shit to do at work.
I hate people - including myself right now.
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