1 hour ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:
I always have a hard time understanding these scenarios. I love my husband and he's a great guy, but no matter what happens between us, my child(ren) will always be #1. I cannot imagine any scenario where I would pick a partner - or anyone else- over my child(ren).
My personal opinion. YMMV.
I agree, but these cases can be REALLY challenging. A large number of women stay because they - or their children, or other family members - have been threatened with death if they leave. And that is not always an unrealistic threat - CPS or restraining orders or cops not withstanding. Everyone knows the most dangerous time is after the victim leaves. The abuser knows this too, and plays up on this. I have some horrible stories from when I was a social worker and trying to get families relocated.
Of course there are also other parents ( ahem — Anna) who will stay because they are desperately in lurve and put the abuser 1st. She’s the most frustrating type because despite her indoctrination she does have more options than many women.
And of course there is also always basic financial and emotional manipulation - depending where you are and what resources are available - CPS threatening to take the baby but giving you no place to stay, and the shelters are full, and your family has all been driven away, and you haven’t been allowed friends or work or cash or a car in the last 5 states you’ve been drug through — where do you actually go?
But yes, the women who just choose to stay , when there are any other options, and lose their kids? I don’t get that. And it’s so common.
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