17 hours ago, FilleMondaine said:
I think about Mary Trump's book, which unironically spoke about attachment trauma resulting in Trump's disorders and cruelties. The more we learn about attachment (in short, picking up your kids and soothing them when they cry), the sadder situations like Shiloh's and Abbie's other children.
When my dad was adopted in the 1950s, he was five years old. He had spent his entire life tied to his crib. He was nonverbal and wore diapers. His mom cooked a chicken for dinner during his first weeks home and instead of eating what she put on his plate, he tried to eat the bones and scraps from the trash can. He didn't understand what to do with the actually edible parts.
He had a better time of it in adulthood than most adoptees who experience that kind of early childhood trauma, and he ended up having an excellent career at an international relations organization, but the attachment issues affected him for the rest of his life. He was very "looking out for number one" in his interactions with people, even with his own kids.