OK, folks - back to Gary's words of wisdom on training up a child.
Gary tells us about a great preacher whose son went to prison. But he did say that if he hadn't gone to prison, he would have gone to Hell.
Gary says that some of his own kids have departed from the path. So, that train up thing doesn't work? Got it.
Oh, wait - he wandered in his youth, but his mama and daddy kept prayin' for him and he came back. So that should fix it.
When you go to vote on November the 3rd "maybe ya better go early, 'cause if ya die, yall probably vote Democrat, amen. HAYMUN."
That's gets a big laugh. It took me a second, then I realized the "joke" was that cheating Democrats would somehow steal the votes of dead people.
He then, of course, tells them to vote for their children, but "ah didn't say nobody's name," after which he makes it clear that he's not ashamed, and he's "votin' Donald Trump, all the way."
Yeah, Gary - we'd figured it out. And you should be ashamed, but I don't think you are capable of feeling shame.
So we got voting Trump, but not whipping, this time. As Eliza Doolittle would say, that's a mercy anyhow.
Luke 10:2 Gary's going to keep giving out tracts, even if they put him in the electric chair.
"Duct tape can fix some things, but ah'm not sure it can fix mah mouth amen."
Don't lose your burden. After some sentence fragments that seem to be about churches losing people, he says "Even some these mega-churches that don't believe nothin' have seen a big fallin' away."
He does his corona spiel - he hasn't thrown a stone, it's no worse than the flu, etc. This time he adds something about swine flu, but it will all go away on November 4th "whether we win or lose."
NBC and ABC an' all them Cs is lying to you - there aren't as many cases as they say, and none of them are that bad. He knows, because he's talked to some people and seen some videos.
Way to use that scientific method, Gar.
He announces 2 Timothy 1:2, then reads something completely different. The pastor looks at Becky:
as if she'd know WTF is wrong with her husband. She says "I don't know where he was," and they share a laugh.
Someone asks him where he is, and this time he says 2 Timothy 1:12.
Gary's not ASHAMED of his beliefs. He does the Pope hope dope joke, and the pastor wheezes with laughter, and slaps his leg three times.
1 Peter 2:9 Gary does the "spiritual soap" digging in to his heart bit - no dishrag this time.
Gary says preachers should be strange.
Gary looked at a picture of Lester Roloff, and thought the eyes were following him around the room. "Those old-tahm guys had some kinda look. And ah think it was the look o' God."
He not only does the "tadpoles know my SSN" joke, he adds that he's afraid they're gonna give it to somebody someday. The pastor chuckles and pounds the back of the pew twice.
The rest is more Garybabble.
That pastor is one easy laugh.