My mom passed away last week from heart failure, September 26th. I was fortunate enough to be by her side when she took her last breath and was able to tell her I love her. She made the decision the day before to remove support because the medication was only prolonging her suffering; she was not going to recover.
I love my mom dearly and she's was my best friend. Please keep in mind as you read the rest of this that I forgave my mom a long time ago for my abusive childhood and she apologized profusely for what she did and that she didn't protect me from the sexual abuse of my uncle. My mom did have faults, as we all do, but she was human and didn't do some things "right" when my grandmother, her mother, passed away when I was 12.
My mom kept all jewelry from my grandmother. I never thought it was right but when I would ask why my aunt (her sister) didn't have any of my grandmother's jewelry she would get an attitude with me and avoid my question. Once she said my aunt would just sell it all. I remember my aunt asking about the jewelry but my mom lied to her and said she didn't have it. It had always bothered me because I knew my mom simply wanted to keep it all. About 15 years ago my mom gave me quite a few pieces, the rings my grandmother wore often, including her wedding set. Every time I would open that section of my jewelry box I would think "I shouldn't have this, Aunt L should have it!"
I didn't want to cause my aunt any more pain because we just lost my mom a little more than a week ago but it was bothering me so much. I called my aunt and as gently as I could I told her that I had some of my grandma's jewelry; my mom lied to her. My amazingly loving aunt told me she already knew my mom lied but didn't know that I had it now. I took photos of everything I thought belonged to my grandmother and sent them to my aunt; all but two were my grandmother's. If my mom was correct, which I always had my doubts, my aunt would have said everything was my grandmother's and sold it. My aunt was completely honest with me and is thankful I am giving it to her, as it should have been years ago. I could tell by her voice she was crying when I said I wanted to bring it to her. (Not sad tears but thankful / emotional tears because she never thought she had a chance of seeing the jewelry again.)
I feel terrible because I know this is NOT what my mom wanted but my aunt is just as much my grandmother's daughter as my mom is. Am I wrong for doing this because I know my mom didn't want her to have it (because my mom wanted to keep all of my grandmother's jewelry) or am I making things right that was done wrong so long ago?
I spoke with my counselor about it before I called my aunt and she told me if it was something I felt so strongly about then that's what I needed to do.
I feel so torn.