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Finding Fran

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Hello!

fransalley

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I am a new member here.  My name is not really Fran, this is my non de plume here.  I'm a Christian who's appalled at the abuse I see in conservative Christianity and I don't always feel safe to talk about my concerns with others.  I don't believe Jesus would treat women the same way that certain Christian leaders have.  

I think the Baptist church I grew up in may have been influenced by Bill Gothard.  I remember hearing the saying, Jesus First, Others Second, and Yourself Last spells J-O-Y.  I also remember hearing a class about rock music, especially about the backward masking and how if you listened to songs with a particular drumbeat, it would cause your heart to beat irregularly.  

I went to college in the '80's and got involved with an offshoot of the Church of Christ known as the Crossroads Movement.  They eventually morphed into the International Churches of Christ.  I learned some good things there, such as methods of Bible study; but there was a lot of pressure put on members to "perform", and I left there after graduation feeling like I could never measure up.  I deliberately moved to another city that had a church which was trying to get away from the bad things of that movement . . . and eventually, that church splintered into independent house churches which turned out to be just as bad as the group we were trying to leave.  We went from "you must believe this" to "whatever you want to believe is fine, as long as you believe in God and in Jesus".  

My husband and I are in a Church of Christ now that is considered "progressive"; e.g. we have a service with instrumental music on Sundays and we don't believe that we are the only Christians.  We've been part of this group for many years, and even with that, I wonder if I've really fully come to grips with the unhealthy teaching I learned.   I hope this will be a safe place to explore.
 

  • Upvote 4
  • Love 2


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  • Posts

    • JordynDarby5

      Posted

      My great-grandfather took a couple pictures at his wife's funeral and for his daughter. I thought it was really weird and still do but my mom said it used to be very common. We haven't carried on the tradition which I'm glad. It makes me uncomfortable and funerals are hard enough without having someone in my face taking pictures, worrying if someone was taking pictures of me crying or breaking down or taking pictures of my mother or her casket.  On the news they often show funerals of fallen police officers, firemen/women, victims of crimes I feel for the poor family mourning their loss, crying and breaking down with cameras around. 

    • hollyfeller

      Posted

      Does Lori really think women "put out" for their bosses?  It enrages me that she can't distinguish between a husband/wife relationship and an employer/employee relationship.

      put_out.thumb.JPG.a95a84be6ab2fd50dd5545b4d7b68964.JPG

      • Love 1
    • JordynDarby5

      Posted

      I too completely believe all animals go to Heaven too. I know our three dogs, the bunny and hamsters my brother and I shared are all waiting for us in Heaven along with my family who are happily enjoying the afterlife together with all of their pets.  I know my mom's been watching my brother's and my pets since she got to Heaven taking over from my grandparents, because she would insist on it do it herself for her kids. 

    • The Mother Dust

      Posted

      8 hours ago, livinglongerthanyou said:

      One of my favorite aunts, now passed, had a heart of gold. She was what I imagine a Christian should be. She helped anyone in need. She visited people who were stuck in their home for whatever reason. There were always strangers and friends around her table. She volunteered in numerous places. She raised her kids and loved her husband. She was so, so funny and learned ventriloquism after her kids were grown so she could entertain children in church, schools, hospitals etc. 

      And then, after 48 years of marriage, her husband confessed that he had been having an affair with a girl from high school their entire marriage. My aunt was shattered. She called my dad (her brother) and he and my mom and her kids helped her with the fallout of lawyers, selling the house and belongings etc. My uncle had secretly incurred a ton of debt and in the end, my dear aunt was left destitute - living in poor government housing and relying on assistance. My parents and each of her children told her they wanted her to live with them, but she believed in her God and that there were other plans for her. 

      A few years down the road she met a man at her church and soon were dating. They eventually got married - both in their early 70s at this point. He was good and kind and made her happy. He'd buy roses on the 14th day of every month because they got married on the 14th. They were married 16 years when he died. On the 14th day of the month after he died, roses were delivered. This gentle man had made private arrangements to have those flowers delivered every month until his beloved wife joined him on the other side. They were even delivered when she was in hospice care at the end of her life. 

      This is the kind of love that Lori and most of her followers don't have, nor are they capable of. No rules. No strings. No Bible verses. Just pure love. 

      What a shattering betrayal.  Good on your aunt for having the courage and conviction to leave 1st husband in the dust. I am sad to say that there are at least a couple of women I know in my family who would have stayed with him only because they had been together so long already.  Stories like this give me hope for a renaissance for these relatives.  

      • Upvote 2
    • Chickenbutt

      Posted

      Is an autopsy required in all cases?

      No. Deaths caused by violence, state custody deaths, and unexplained deaths will be sent to the State Crime Lab for an autopsy. Other deaths are determined on a case by case basis and may or may not require the State Crime Lab. Most medical and unattended deaths do not require an autopsy.

      https://bentoncountyar.gov/coroner/faq/



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