I am a new member here. My name is not really Fran, this is my non de plume here. I'm a Christian who's appalled at the abuse I see in conservative Christianity and I don't always feel safe to talk about my concerns with others. I don't believe Jesus would treat women the same way that certain Christian leaders have.
I think the Baptist church I grew up in may have been influenced by Bill Gothard. I remember hearing the saying, Jesus First, Others Second, and Yourself Last spells J-O-Y. I also remember hearing a class about rock music, especially about the backward masking and how if you listened to songs with a particular drumbeat, it would cause your heart to beat irregularly.
I went to college in the '80's and got involved with an offshoot of the Church of Christ known as the Crossroads Movement. They eventually morphed into the International Churches of Christ. I learned some good things there, such as methods of Bible study; but there was a lot of pressure put on members to "perform", and I left there after graduation feeling like I could never measure up. I deliberately moved to another city that had a church which was trying to get away from the bad things of that movement . . . and eventually, that church splintered into independent house churches which turned out to be just as bad as the group we were trying to leave. We went from "you must believe this" to "whatever you want to believe is fine, as long as you believe in God and in Jesus".
My husband and I are in a Church of Christ now that is considered "progressive"; e.g. we have a service with instrumental music on Sundays and we don't believe that we are the only Christians. We've been part of this group for many years, and even with that, I wonder if I've really fully come to grips with the unhealthy teaching I learned. I hope this will be a safe place to explore.