Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! This one's a doozy. So much happened!
Let's start off slow. In March, Romano
Tobias Johnson turned 4 years old! Elsie threw a birthday party over at her house with some of her favorite Edens. She made tator tot casserole, naturally, and made sure not to defraud her cousins by offering any alcoholic drinks or f*n of any kind.
Still, there was birthday cake, and after blowing out the candles...
Romano aged into a handsome little school-aged boy!
Speaking of, Elsie decided to enroll Romano into a private Christian school! She's doing alright financially now, and thinks maybe socialization with other kids (Christian of course) may not be a bad thing for little Romano. Plus, she can always withdraw him if Satan begins to build a fortress in his heart.
Look at his enriched life! You go Elsie and Romano!
Back with the Edens, Leviticus (now age 12) decides to host another youth group meeting. But Maya (left, age 15) and Billie (right, age 14) are growing up too! (And still wearing those damn pants! Haven't they listened to a word he said?)
Levi is so nervous around the pretty girls that he ignores them entirely. Exodus (age 13) wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. Then Maya up and grills burgers, which completely emasculates him.
"So, er, do you like...Jesus?" BECOOLBECOOLBECOOL Billie, by the way, isn't having any of it and keeps shooting Maya looks saying she can't believe they're still entertaining these fools. They leave, unsaved.
Another year, another birthday cake for Genesis to make. This time it's for Kings (#10).
He transitions from a clingy toddler into a rather gloomy (though also rather well-dressed) kid.
And of course, the young Edens make so many sweet and precious memories doing jinder-approved activities in the backyard. #family
And against all odds, Maya found Exodus' awkwardness endearing and they become
friends cellular prayer partners.
But wait, there's more!
Heavily pregnant Eva feels the Lord laid it on her heart to write her latest tear-jerking memoir, "In the Valley - My Journey with Infertility." She hopes her struggle and testimony to conceive #13 can be a real blessing to those couples praying to be parents. What a heart for the barren Eva has! (Also notice #12, Ezra, no longer a baby but a toddler. No one knows a thing about him.)
The 4 hampers and 2 washing machines are completely overrun at this point and laundry piles up around the house. Even the boys are conscripted into laundry duty. It's a bleak day for the Edens.
Also, in a truly harrowing moment of kids homeschooling themselves, the science table burst into flames! This makes fire #4 for the Edens, but the first in a very long time. Everyone runs around like mad, and it is 14-year-old Genesis who saves the day! Adam, the patriarch, was stunningly useless. This girl is truly amazing.
During all the chaos, Leviticus turns 13! Genesis was upgraded to sister-mom at 11, Exodus had to start repairing things and minding littles at 12, but #3 Leviticus got to wait until actual age 13 to be "upgraded". He was still pretty bummed though. Cheer up, Levi! Think about all the souls you will
pester/deeply vex/enrage win!
And finally, in December of 2025, Eva went into labor with long-awaited #13...
Surprise TWINS!!! Welcome to world, Nehemiah and Esther! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you! Clearly Eva is blessed beyond measure with her double-womb opening! After all, God wouldn't give her more than she could handle.
Until next time, Edens out!