There are three things you need to know about me to appreciate how I spent part of my early evening:

1. I am clumsy
2. I have a deep bathtub
3. I am an idiot

Muscle aches and anxiety I took a nice hot bath with salts...two birds one stone, right?  I am nothing if not efficient.

And smart enough to take the bath mat out so I could sink into the tub with no annoying friction getting in the way.  It was a lovely bath...until I drained the tub and reached for my moisturizer.  They kind you can apply when wet, it's very handy for after shower....but not so much the bath.

I, like the dumbass that I am, took advantage of lying down in the now empty tub to moisturize all over to save having to do my feet and legs when I dried off.

Yes, in a slick, deep tub with no mat I slathered moisturizer on the bottoms of my feet, backs of legs, and other posterior parts of my anatomy that come into contact with the tub.  

In addition of course to my hands and arms.  

I tried to stand up, lost my grip on the sides, and slid around like a porpoise in Tony Hawks swimming pool if it was coated in oil.

I can hear you asking the obvious, "Hey Dummy, why didn't you just grab a towel and wipe off?"

I thought of that, but because of my ill advised slathering I couldn't get to the one hanging on the rack about 1.5 inches out of reach.

After lying there cold, angry, and stupid for far too long I was able to get out, at great risk to both myself and the shower curtain.  We both lived to tell the tale.  

I clearly need adult supervision.

I may be an idiot...