Jump to content

Buffy's Commentary

  • entries
  • comments
  • views

My Dog the Therapist



The TLDR of exposition is I've never struggled with anxiety until this year, so this is a new adventure in hell for me.  The combination of my life falling to shit at the same time peri-menopause decided to commandeer my hormones to attack me emotionally...let's just say I'm not the happiest I've ever been lately.

I got a few hours of broken sleep last night and woke up feeling unrested and full on anxious.  The kind of anxiety you can feel in your skin...that sickening tingly feeling that goes along with the fear.  

Then the super fun cycle of my head telling me I needed to eat to stave off a migraine while my stomach was telling me in no uncertain terms to not even think about it.  Nothing soothes anxiety like violent dry heaves!

So I brush my face and wash my teeth and go back to bed.  I put on a guided meditation type video and followed along with the deep breathing as I snuggled against my big dog.  (Smaller dog was also in bed, but at the foot and out of cuddle range.)

He is part mastiff, part rot and is a good 135 lbs.  So you see I was not exaggerating, big dog is indeed accurate.  

I was buried deep under a sheet, down duvet, soft fleece blanket, and a light quilt because that sometimes helps.  I was focused on the video and my breathing and the closeness of my pup when he decided to help...

He got up and changed positions and lay across me.  I have often wished I had one of those heavy anxiety blankets, but I don't...apparently he decided to be that for me.  It really helped.

I didn't move as I didn't want him to shift off me...he was comfy and I felt safer somehow....and I continued to breathe and meditate along with the video. 

The plan was to calm down and get to some level of functionality but I fell asleep.  Woke up a few hours later grateful for the needed sleep, annoyed I'd slept away most of the morning, and feeling marginally better.

I ate, so the threatening migraine clouds seemed to have moved on leaving only a normal headache, but my digestive system is punishing me for daring to eat.

I would really like the various parts of my body to get together and work out some kind of feasible plan for functionality.  I am so uncooperative with myself.

As bad as things are at times the hero of the story this particular day is my gentle giant.  He knew exactly what I needed and just quietly gave it to me without fanfare...for the price of reciprocal cuddles.

(It is almost time to start dinner and I have done nothing all day except meditate while trying to set the world record for vomiting in a day.  



  • Love 10


Recommended Comments



Aw. I have a life-induced intense headache and actually just forced food and caffeine down my system too. I need to venture into the world for my meds. All a bit ironic.

I had very strange dreams last night where I dreamt random posts about just bullshit stuff and would wakeup and be like, “no, wait, that didn’t happen.”

  • Upvote 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment


11 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Aw. I have a life-induced intense headache and actually just forced food and caffeine down my system too. I need to venture into the world for my meds. All a bit ironic.

I had very strange dreams last night where I dreamt random posts about just bullshit stuff and would wakeup and be like, “no, wait, that didn’t happen.”

I had a terrible nightmare while getting the little sleep I had last night about my past...there is definitely a certain thread I wish didn't happen.

  • Upvote 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • feministxtian


      1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

      Probably even stranger to a mid-westerner is this exchange. That happens All. The. Time.

      Hey I'm gonna get me a drink.

      Bring me a Coke will ya please?

      What kind?

      Dr, Pepper  (RC/ Cheerwine/ Sundrop./ Big Orange/ Nehi Grape, etc. And RC is pronounced AhR-uh-Cee)

      Signed Red Hair Black Dress -- born, raised, and always lived in the South.

      Edited to add - Cherry Lemon Sundrop is the bomb

      You're making me homesick for VA now....

    • Cults-r-us


      6 hours ago, anjulibai said:

      I don't understand why people think Josh isn't a true believer. Looking at CSA doesn't mean he doesn't believe in god. None of his behavior is indicative of an atheist. Being a despicable person who does horrifying things is not indicative of atheism. 

      I agree. Plus believing in God and being sexually attracted to youth are not mutually exclusive. All the things can be true. Part of Josh may want to live a righteous life. He may hate that he enjoys child porn, but still  he does it, then wishes he could quit. Nobody gets out of bed in the morning and says, "Oh good, I'm still a monster". But the thing is this: his family gave him an avenue to accountability because he/they learned in Jesus pervert camp relapse was an ever present liklihood. He had resources and family support. We all feel angry and very frustrated with him, and we don't (and hopefully will never) even know him. Imagine how his counselors and family feel!

    • TuringMachine


      58 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

      I think “mature” is probably correct. As I’ve aged, I have become much more “live and let live.” I honestly don’t care what others do as long as they aren’t hurting others. How someone is listed on a birth certificate won’t hurt anyone but the persons being listed. So if they want to be listed in a certain way, why should I give a single fuck? There are so many things to be upset about in this world. I’m not going to make up more things just to feel smug and superior. 

      When I was like 16-ish I asked my rabbi why they don't just say not straight instead of lgbtq+. I wasn't trying to be mean or dismissive or anything, I was genuinely ignorant on the subject and thought that sounded simpler. Anyway, he responded something like, people don't like to be defined by what they are not. And that was enough for me. Just the fact that using LGBTQ+ would make people feel better was all the justification I needed. I have a hard time understanding why that's not enough for other people.

      • I Agree 2
    • Alisamer


      3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

      I have a craving for cherry lemon sundrop right now. 

      I’m disappointed the local bakery near me that made cherry lemon sundrop cupcakes closed down. 

    • Xan


      9 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

      Another scholar weighs in:

        Hide contents


      To roll over upon? Hey, I'm willing to admit that I don't know the etymology of lots of words, but I couldn't find anything to support that.


      What the...?  Roll over upon?  No.  Believe does not and never has meant "roll over upon" -- even in the 1600's.  I don't think the Lord wants us rolling over upon him with our "weight".  All this makes me wonder is what goes on in this guy's bed when he and, presumably, his significant other are trying to sleep.

      How long do you figure it will take Gary to start saying that we need to roll over upon Jesus?  This sounds like something Gary would think was clever.

      • Upvote 2

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.