Jump to content

Buffy's Commentary

  • entries
    274
  • comments
    1,401
  • views
    45,926

My Dog the Therapist


HerNameIsBuffy

417 views

 Share

The TLDR of exposition is I've never struggled with anxiety until this year, so this is a new adventure in hell for me.  The combination of my life falling to shit at the same time peri-menopause decided to commandeer my hormones to attack me emotionally...let's just say I'm not the happiest I've ever been lately.

I got a few hours of broken sleep last night and woke up feeling unrested and full on anxious.  The kind of anxiety you can feel in your skin...that sickening tingly feeling that goes along with the fear.  

Then the super fun cycle of my head telling me I needed to eat to stave off a migraine while my stomach was telling me in no uncertain terms to not even think about it.  Nothing soothes anxiety like violent dry heaves!

So I brush my face and wash my teeth and go back to bed.  I put on a guided meditation type video and followed along with the deep breathing as I snuggled against my big dog.  (Smaller dog was also in bed, but at the foot and out of cuddle range.)

He is part mastiff, part rot and is a good 135 lbs.  So you see I was not exaggerating, big dog is indeed accurate.  

I was buried deep under a sheet, down duvet, soft fleece blanket, and a light quilt because that sometimes helps.  I was focused on the video and my breathing and the closeness of my pup when he decided to help...

He got up and changed positions and lay across me.  I have often wished I had one of those heavy anxiety blankets, but I don't...apparently he decided to be that for me.  It really helped.

I didn't move as I didn't want him to shift off me...he was comfy and I felt safer somehow....and I continued to breathe and meditate along with the video. 

The plan was to calm down and get to some level of functionality but I fell asleep.  Woke up a few hours later grateful for the needed sleep, annoyed I'd slept away most of the morning, and feeling marginally better.

I ate, so the threatening migraine clouds seemed to have moved on leaving only a normal headache, but my digestive system is punishing me for daring to eat.

I would really like the various parts of my body to get together and work out some kind of feasible plan for functionality.  I am so uncooperative with myself.

As bad as things are at times the hero of the story this particular day is my gentle giant.  He knew exactly what I needed and just quietly gave it to me without fanfare...for the price of reciprocal cuddles.

(It is almost time to start dinner and I have done nothing all day except meditate while trying to set the world record for vomiting in a day.  

 

 

  • Love 10
 Share

2 Comments


Recommended Comments

AliceInFundyland

Posted

Aw. I have a life-induced intense headache and actually just forced food and caffeine down my system too. I need to venture into the world for my meds. All a bit ironic.

I had very strange dreams last night where I dreamt random posts about just bullshit stuff and would wakeup and be like, “no, wait, that didn’t happen.”

  • Upvote 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment
HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

11 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Aw. I have a life-induced intense headache and actually just forced food and caffeine down my system too. I need to venture into the world for my meds. All a bit ironic.

I had very strange dreams last night where I dreamt random posts about just bullshit stuff and would wakeup and be like, “no, wait, that didn’t happen.”

I had a terrible nightmare while getting the little sleep I had last night about my past...there is definitely a certain thread I wish didn't happen.

  • Upvote 1
  • Love 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Posts

    • Coconut Flan

      Posted

      Thankfully no one ever had the nerve to ask me, but I wore mine for at least a year and then replaced them with a very ambiguous jeweled band for a few more years until I got tired of wearing rings.  

    • Lavenderdilly

      Posted

      3 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

      I am on a lot of widow groups - it is not an odd question but one people angst over and worry about a lot.  Sometimes they want to take it off - and yet feel guilty and fear the judgement.  Other times they want to keep it on and people tell them to move on, already! Or they feel badly 'he's dead, what am I proving'.  Or 'if he's watching over me, what will he think?'    It is a very real conundrum for most widows.   I wore mine consistantly for about 8 or 9 months and then put it off and on for about 6 more before I retired it.   

      And that was so right for you . 

    • mpheels

      Posted

      I posted earlier about a civil case where I was impaneled on the jury. I actually went through voir dire for a different case first. It was a gun possession charge, stemming from a traffic stop. The judge estimated they trial would take 1-2 days total. Knowing the city and race dynamics, it was fairly obvious the defense would argue the traffic stop was racially motivated (it probably was…). I walk up, a white woman from the South (place of birth is listed on the juror form) living in a big northeastern city, and the prosecutor was visibly excited and the defense attorney wasn’t happy. Then they asked me about police/community relations, and I said I felt police in our city are sometimes overly antagonistic and creat unnecessary conflicts. I didn’t say that to get out of jury duty. I truly believe that, and was quickly dismissed and sent back to the jury room. From there, I got called to be in the jury pool for a civil case, along with everyone else that had been dismissed from other cases. And that’s how I ended up on jury duty for two weeks… 

      TL,DR: if you get dismissed from from the jury pool for one trial, you might end up impaneled in the jury for an even more onerous trial.

    • SweetLaurel

      Posted

      47 minutes ago, Karma said:

      What a very odd question for someone to ask@Not that josh's mom.  You didn’t choose to end the marriage, your spouse died. Why wouldn’t you wear your rings?

      I am on a lot of widow groups - it is not an odd question but one people angst over and worry about a lot.  Sometimes they want to take it off - and yet feel guilty and fear the judgement.  Other times they want to keep it on and people tell them to move on, already! Or they feel badly 'he's dead, what am I proving'.  Or 'if he's watching over me, what will he think?'    It is a very real conundrum for most widows.   I wore mine consistantly for about 8 or 9 months and then put it off and on for about 6 more before I retired it.   

      • Upvote 1
      • Love 1
    • Lavenderdilly

      Posted (edited)

      1 hour ago, Not that josh's mom said:

      Some one asked if I intend to continue wearing my engagement and wedding ring since my husband died earlier this year. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't.  I wear my MiL'S  upgraded engagement ring between her original wedding ring and my mother's wedding band in my right hand. Do you wear your wedding ring after a death or not?


      I was 54 when I was widowed my one thing I would tell anyone is , there are no set rules for what you should feel or what you should do,

      When your spouse dies you are free to do whatever you want and tell everyone else to butt out . I wore my rings for a number of years on my fingers and then, when wanted to ,had them set onto a chain I could wear around my neck as and when it felt right for me. I still wear them occasionally and my current partner knows what they are and the memories they embody .He and I are grown ups and embrace both of our pasts and present.

      It’s early days , your thoughts now should be for you , not what others think.

       

       

      Edited by Lavenderdilly
      • Upvote 2
      • Love 1


×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.