On 9/17/2021 at 12:18 PM, Queen Of Hearts said:
Yeah, because completely normal, non-guilty people would automatically assume THAT was why their business was getting raided. Josh really is a dumb ass.
Sometimes I wonder if Josh is unconsciously driven by the desire to get caught and punished because of some deeply ingrained need to go through exposure, confess, and thus be absolved of guilt. (You know, repent and come back to Jesus.)
He is a terrible person, but also a pathetic one because he seems to throw away all his advantages to satisfy his inappropriate sexual desires. Maybe it’s because he is stupid and entitled, but he does seem driven by compulsions he can’t control.
Even if he doesn’t believe all the stuff his parents taught about God, even if he only pays lip service to the rhetoric of fundie repentance, I would guess that he has some sense of guilt and some fear of divine punishment deep down. So maybe when the FBI shows up at his door, he babbles in a way that shows he is guilty because (at that moment) he thinks The Lord may be intervening. Maybe (one hopes) he has been using CSA as a way to prevent himself from acting on his impulses and molesting children in his environment (one prays that is so). Maybe he feels that makes it okay, that though he has violated the law, what he has done is not as bad as molesting a kid.
I am just speculating, and none of this makes his crime(s) less, but perhaps on some level Josh is crying out for help. He may be torn between wanting someone to catch and punish him and wanting to get away with it all. Maybe the best thing that could happen to him would be prison and secular counseling—if only he can let go of his need to conceal and seem better than he is.
Just thinking aloud here. I am not excusing him in any way.