Sometimes I feel a bit nuts about dating and the like. And I dunno what to think.
It was really Jill that made me convinced over the courtship sh'bang (in an earlier thread I told my "almost went full fundie" story), and still thinking of it, I'm not fully opposed to it. But I suppose the difference comes in with the fact that I am turning 26 in a week and it would be my own choice and preference. Sure, it stems from Duggaroonis (and later YouTube channel called "Worth the Wait" where two adults decide to court and not kiss till marriage, both having a wild history with dating and sex), but having been thinking about it for a longer period of time, it's actually something I'd... probably prefer at this point. My past relationships have been crazy fast (I've had like 10 boyfriends and flings combined in the past 11 years), and courting feels like it'll give me time to learn something about the other in a deeper level. Though front hugs will 100% be allowed lol, I ain't gettin' into this creepy side hug business.
The world has really changed. When my paternal grandparents got engaged, that's when the both of them kissed anyone for the first time at 20+. I'm not glorifying it at all, especially as my grandfather was borderline narcissistic. But it makes me think about what I hold important. I know I'm not gonna wait till marriage when it comes to kissing.
There's definitely a dilemma in my mind. Will the man that I meet get offended if I ask to start things off as a courtship? Will I want it til engagement or turn to regular dating before engagement? What really are my motives? Am I romanticising courtship, or is it really my free will? Am I projecting something through this?
My brain hurts. :/
I've been alternately lying on the couch and the bed with a heating pad on my stomach (THANKS MOTHER NATURE I HATE YOU WITH THE FIRE OF ONE THOUSAND SUNS). Lori has inspired me to get up off my lazy ass- assisted by the power of wine and Motrin and respond to her bullshit.
For every man who wants a non-tattooed, virgin woman without debt, there's a man who is perfectly happy with an inked up, experienced woman with a car loan or college loans. Sweeping generalizations are no way to characterize an entire gender.
Lori was a technical virgin, had no tattoos, and no debt. She's had a fucking miserable marriage for 20 plus years. No offense, but I'd take a hard pass on that. When you have to sabotage your birth control in order to stay home from your job, girl, you got problems.
I have a tattoo, boned a couple of guys before meeting Mr. Bonkers, and had a car loan when we married (please, contain your shock). Now it hasn't been all sunshine and unicorn farts, but the good times have far outpaced the bad. We only have 2 kids, thanks to un-sabotaged birth control. We communicate like grown ups. We trust each other, but most importantly, we LOVE each other.
@Ken-Tell Lori she's a sad excuse for a wife.
I’m a virgin. But I’m not debt-free. I’m not saving myself for marriage. I just have self-esteem ishoos and find it difficult to befriend people, so as you can imagine romance is a non-starter (I have done literally NOTHING in that regard). I’m not going into all the details here as it isn’t relevant.
Yes it may be unusual for someone my age to have no experience whatsoever, but that shouldn’t matter. Everyone has to start off somewhere. The right guy will take the time to make me feel comfortable. If they’re put off by my virginity, then that’s their problem, not mine.Edited by mango_fandango
I am so sorry to hear this. Rebecca and her family seemed so close and loving. I remember her posting pictures of her parents 22th anniversary vow renewals a few years ago. The whole family participated and I was touched by just how emotional the event was for all of them.
My condolences to Rebecca, her dad and siblings. It has got to be so hard.
Well, of course the couple needs to be in eye sight. Who knows what could happen if they were alone in a restaurant or miniature golf course. Yeah. Forget the last one.