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Gobbles Musings

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When your body tells you to slow down



Like I wrote in my status update, I got sick on Friday evening. A really horrible cold. Because my immune system does not do well at all when I'm stressed and the whole drivers license thing makes me incredibly stressed. I got not one, but two cold sores inside my lips on Tuesday. My upper lip is still twice the size of normal. The last time I had more than one cold sore at the same time was over ten years ago. (Also in a very stressful situation.) 

I'm going to class tonight and next week Monday (Thursday is a holiday) too, but no driving next week. I need to get better first. 

This will be so incredibly embarrassing with my lip looking like a failed beauty operation and my social anxiety when it comes to young people. Living in an Asian country right now would be great. Being able to wear a mask to hide it all. (That reminds me, that I need to tell my instructor, that I'm not going to do the lessons with other students he usually does at the end before the final exam. I can't drive with teenagers sitting behind me. I couldn't care less about old people though.)

So, next week is more normal life. I need to support my Mum at work at the end of the week and we have a meeting with the new nursing service for my great uncle. The old one goes out of service in July. 

At least that shows everyone in real life that it really is hard for me doing this. I'm not telling lies.

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I’m sorry it’s been so rough on you, physically and emotionally. I think it’s completely fair to tell the instructor that you’re not driving with teenagers in the back. I understand why they do that (as a teenager, pretty much the first thing I did when I got my licence was pick up my boyfriend and a couple of other teenage friends), but if you’re not planning to do that, and it would make you anxious, I think it loses the benefit. 

It’s ok to slow down when your body tells you that’s what it needs. Better than ok, in fact. There are no prizes for burning out. 

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I sympathize with feeling like a big ball of glowing anxiety, and feeling like everyone can see its light at all times. It makes me feel better to remember that pretty much everyone else is too busy feeling like everyone else can see their insecurities to actually notice mine.

Your cold sores? They're thinking about the zits on their nose that you didn't even see. Or the one weird chin hair that's the wrong length. Or that they forgot to put on deodorant. Or that their shoes are the wrong style. 

You're gonna get this driving thing. And your worry will make you a better, more attentive driver than those who cruised through like autopilot. Or you'll end up joining the ranks of crappy drivers around the world... and then you just get comprehensive insurance, no big.

Hope you feel well soon!

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