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Fun Fun Fundies: Sims Edition

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Wa-La Diner Revisited, Part Two: The Meal

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mango_fandango

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"Dude... what is up with all these random lace doilies..." Marissa wondered aloud. 

Annie explained.

"She sounds nuts," Marissa said.

"Oh, that's only the surface," Faye replied drily.

Anna returned, with a sheaf of menus. As she walked away again, I noticed that she had a silver ring on her left hand.

"Big Salad?" Marissa asked.

"Garnished with raw egg dressing," Annie said. Marissa gagged.

"Seriously?" she exclaimed. She glanced at the menu with a look of disgust on her face. "Ooh, weens and gravy. Isn't that a breakfast dish?"

"Yeah, but they don't have many starters here," Faye said.

"I like sausage gravy, I'll go for that."

Faye and I exchanged significant glances, but Marissa was oblivious. 

"Hello, are you ready to order?"

Anna seemed to possess that high-pitched baby voice all young fundie women appeared to have.

"Yes... three lots of picnic eggs, and one portion of weens and gravy," I said, ignoring Annie, who was sniggering. I looked back at the menu. I noticed that each dish could be served as individual portions, or could be served buffet-style with everyone helping themselves. To this end, I ordered tater tot casserole, chicken-etti, and burritos to share, as well as some raspberry Kool-Aid. Anna scribbled down the order, and, as had happened back in Summer Springs, presented us with a complementary jar of pickles.

"OK, Marissa, lemme introduce you to some of these people..." Annie said, bringing out her phone. 

As I talked to Faye about college (I had also done political science, so we were comparing courses), I watched Marissa's face. It was a joy to behold. From the lack of utter disgust, I deduced that Annie had taken the simple decision to *not* introduce her sister to Weenie Man. 

"HAY-MAYUN!"

We all jumped out of our skin. Filled with dread, I looked at the stage. Sure enough, Weenie Man was here in person. 

"Bloody hell, that nearly gave me a heart attack!" Faye whispered. 

"Who's that?" Marissa asked.

"He's a preacher," Annie explained.

"What the heck was that HAY-MAYUN?"

"God knows," I said. "People on DTFD are trying to work out if it's some kind of Tourette's-type tic or something he says a la Robert Tilton's Hoo Ba Ba Kanda."

As we watched on, I knew that this would be perfect to mention in the thread. Many of us had mentioned possibly going to see our various grifters in action, but nobody had actually done so. 

After a couple more HAY-MAYUNS, Weenie Man ended his message and walked off the stage, picking up a KFC bucket as he went. As the Taylors shuffled up on stage, having clearly brought along the entire family, I barely noticed the arrival of our starters.

"What... the fuck... is this?" 

Marissa was eyeing her plate of weens and gravy with a look of pure nausea. 

"Man food eating," Annie grinned.

"Why is it pink?" Marissa asked, ignoring the "man food" comment.

"Red weens," Faye explained.

Picking up her fork, Marissa poked at it, as though worried it would jump down her throat.

"Go on, it's made with real flour!" I said, barely able to contain my laughter. Despite my misgivings, the picnic eggs were quite tasty.

Looking as though she would rather be doing anything else, Marissa cut off a tiny portion and put it in her mouth.

"Oh God, I'm never gonna be able to look at sausage gravy in the same way," she said sadly, putting the fork down in defeat. "That is the most disgusting thing I have ever had the misfortune to eat."

At that moment, the Taylors began to sing. 

"Oh Christ, I thought we'd left these people behind?" Annie asked.

"They're probably desperate for money now that their conferences have dried up," I reasoned. 

Faye, who was sitting opposite me, stared in the direction of the entrance.

"What?" I asked, somewhat unnecessarily as I whipped my neck round. 

"Is that the Big Salad woman?" Marissa whispered. "Is that her husband? Nice pornstache."

"Bit of a shame for her that a lot of the food is unlikely to be organic, or fermented," I commented.

"Well, all she'll need is her Big Salad and she'll be done for the evening," Annie reasoned.

The main courses arrived on foil platters with plastic tongs stuck into each dish. Marissa eyed them warily.

"I hope these are better than ween puke," she said.

"They're surprisingly OK," Faye explained. "They'll clog your arteries, but they're not as hideous as ween slop."

Marissa picked up a burrito and bit into it.

"This is a burrito?" she said in disbelief. "Where's the meat? The salsa? The rice?"

"According to the originators of this dish, there's no difference in taste between burritos with meat and without," Annie said.

"Huh." She continued eating it, although she helped herself to a portion of tater tot casserole.

***

Here endeth Part Two. Part Three will consist of a close encounter of the fundie kind... but with whom?

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mango_fandango

Posted

I’m trying to think of how best to do it: who the encounter will be with (or maybe multiple people?) and what will be said etc. 

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  • Posts

    • delphinium65

      Posted

      6 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

      Lori needs to shut TF up! 

      From today's blog: "I felt like I wasn’t a good, wife, or mother."   Apparently among the other things she never learned in that worthless college was punctuation.   

      Just a few lines before that she says 'I was blessed with the gift of teaching as well.'  If her way of 'teaching' is a gift, she really needs to return it and get a refund. 

      • Haha 1
    • SongRed7

      Posted (edited)

      Lori needs to shut TF up! 

      From today's blog: "I felt like I wasn’t a good, wife, or mother."   Apparently among the other things she never learned in that worthless college was punctuation.   So she's not a "good". Hmm? Let's see definition of goods: "A chattel which is, generally, subject to sale".... Let's investigate further: chattel -- "a personal possession."   Yep...Lori! That's your view on women...a possession of their husband.  

      And in general:  So lets take someone (a teacher of all things!) who disagrees with you and hold her up to ridicule in your top secret chat room.  Let's just shame her and tell her off some more about how she's a failure. NICE!  REALLY nice ladies in that chat room! (sarcasm)

       

       

      Edited by SongRed7
      • Upvote 1
    • CarrotCake

      Posted

      1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

      From this context, I'm not sure what was in the package - but I've sent helpful stuff to people I'm not particularly close to.

      it contained some planning books and what looks like a giftcard for starbucks.

      44156977_10157844690276982_8658656327888

    • SongRed7

      Posted (edited)

      13 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

      Oh, Alyssa girl, PLEASE get some scientific knowledge away

      I watched part of the video. My takeaways:

      She was reading from something she learned in her classes with no real understand of the complex chemistry

      She suffered from an eating disorder (not eating, throwing away her breakfast and lunches then binge eating later in the day)...

      probably because Lori only ever fed them lettuce or a cucumber or two ("salads") and they had an unhealthy view of food in general  ("we didn't know about healthy fats and we didn't eat much protein") and instilled in them an unhealthy body image probably from fat shaming them...

      which has led to all these lifelong issues -- real or perceived! 

       

      Edited by SongRed7
    • Frog99

      Posted

      23 hours ago, Koala said:

      Oh, and now she's wearing glasses.  Guess she thinks that makes it look more legit.

      I am pretty certain the “glasses” are for the purpose of preventing eye damage from screens. I think there is some validity about the impact of screens on eyes, but I don’t know that those glasses do anything. It also seems to be trendy to wear glasses for cosmetic purposes.  I wear contacts and would be thrilled if I could wake up and see. 

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 1


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