Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! This one is a doozy.
First of all, managing a home of 11-12 Edens has gotten a little crazy for Eva (and me!!!!). And as the Edens are so blessed by the Lord, the baby-making train shows no sign of stopping anytime soon. To help Eva keep sweet, the Edens grifted $7000 for a home expansion. Priorities- a third bathroom/second laundry room with second tub for the little ones, and a school room. As a result of the expansion, the boys and girls dormitories were slightly expanded as well. (Elsie's room remains intact though it is currently un-used)
Lastly, the Edens redecorated their living room with the MOST IMPORTANT verse of the Bible (KING JAMES of course), Genesis 1:28 "be fruitful and multiply."
And boy have the Edens listened! A HUGE milestone for the Edens occured in June 2021, as the 10th little Eden, baby boy Kings, arrived. Welcome to the world Kings! We can't wait to see what the Lord --- yeah ok.
Check out the swarming main floor! (2 Edens not shown)
In the above picture you can also see Eva writing her latest manifesto, "Homebirthin' - the natural, easy, God-given way to bear quivers for Christ."
Genesis had to clear her mind after witnessing the latest God-given no-drugs home delivery at age 12. Look how non-sluttish Genesis is, even while she works out. What a great example she is for her
new children younger siblings.
Speaking of new children...there is drama in the extended family. As you may recall, Elsie and Cale FINALLY received an incoming blessing from the Lord in their third year of marriage. Here, Elsie experiences the easy, blessed, Christ-honoring HomeBirth for the first time.
And it's a boy!! What a blessing a first-born son is. Welcome to world little Romano! We can't wait to see- wait - Romano??? Isn't that the name of a cheese?
Well. Though mama and baby are healthy, I still have some sad news for everyone. The courtship model did NOT serve Elsie and Cale well. Never able to speak in private before the wedding, Elsie did not learn that Cale was INSANE until after she was transferred to his authority. What's possibly even worse is that his life aspiration is...GRILLED CHEESE. I am not making this up. NO THANK YOU MAXIS for making that a life aspiration and for giving it to an already questionable townie. So, Cale is insane, all he cares about in life is grilled cheese, and he's been given authority over Elsie via a fundie marriage ceremony. So he named the baby Romano. He's hoping for a Brie next.
Elsie was hoping that a baby would bring Cale down to reality, but this naming business was the last straw. All Elsie could do after labor was aggressively chop tomatoes and call Genesis over to break the tension.
FREE ELSIE. Take Romano with you and RUN.
Now before you get too sad, Elsie and Romano have been spending more time with the Edens lately. It may not be entirely fundie-realistic, but I need more for Elsie than a loveless marriage with an unpleasant man and I know you do too (seriously, Cale sucks and I didn't realize it). Keep your hopes up for 2022.
But let's return to the Edens proper so we don't get too sad before we go. Samuel, #9, aged into a fussy toddler (YAY) with a surfer's hairdo before #10 made his arrival.
And after #10 arrived, Adam and Eva were somehow able to enjoy a newly-wed moment in the kitchen.
While their 9 other children slept upstairs! I really don't know how they do it!
Oh yeah, and Eva's pregnant again. Because of course she is.
Well friends, I apologize that this wasn't the funniest of blog posts, but it IS realistic. Looking forward to further expansions and the rescuing of a beloved sister next year, Edens out! Stay tuned!!