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Edens Year 11: The Return of the Sister-Mom

neurogirl

1,954 views

Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! We've been away for a while, but now we're back with an eventful year 11 in the Eden saga. 

Leviticus began 2020 in a "bear phase" which is SEVERELY testing his fundie parents. (Though at least it's not a "unicorn phase" or something) Here, Eva experiences the trials of a large family as she tries to feed and dress her brood in time for church. It takes a good 2 hours plus one bear-less Leviticus in tears. 

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Ah what a beautiful Sunday at True Believer's Baptist Church. We are surely in store for an uplifting message of loving thy neighbors whom are destined for Hell :my_angel:

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The wholesome gang's all here (baby Ruth not pictured)...including Elsie and Cale! And Elsie has a SHOCKING UPDATE for the Edens...

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She's expecting!!!!! Eva is of course, WAY more pregnant with her 9TH BLESSING, and Elsie is only in her first trimester with her first *cough Jill* but what a SWEET SISTER BUMP PIC they took together! God is so good!!!

Eva and Adam also celebrated their 10th anniversary! "I just want to thank the Lord for his greatest blessing to me- my wonderful husband Adam. He works so hard for our family and leads us all closer to Lord. He's a great daddy and also not bad to look at! I thank the Lord for you honey and hope for many wonderful years together! -Eva" "Happy anniversary Eva! How many kids do we have now? -Adam"

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8 Adam. You have 8 children now.

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Just kidding Adam! You now have 9 children! Welcome to the world baby Samuel! We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you!

Precious baby Ruth aged up to an inquisitive toddler just in the nick of time. She and the next youngest, Judges, will probably be very good friends (both curious) until she has to be trained up as a lady. Enjoy childhood while it lasts Ruth! Come on, give us a smile!

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She's so precious. 

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Ohh! That looks like the face of a fundie who just found out she's been blessed by the Lord again! Get prepared for child 10 Adam! That should be an easy number to remember.

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A pregnant Elsie visited the Edens to celebrate Joshua's birthday! This angelic, forgotten toddler is now a good, forgotten 4 year-old. Happy birthday Joshua! Mommy and daddy love you so much, even if they don't know who you are!

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As a minor detail, some of the children went to the park and curious little Judges got to be king of his own world for a moment. Free Judges!

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But back to the main story, it was getting rough y'all. 9 kids and another on the way. Messes, fights, diapers, the inexorable piles of laundry...something had to be done. 

Congratulations Genesis! For your 11th birthday we got you...a toddler! That's right! Precious first-born Genesis is being promoted to sister-mom and given a buddy of her very own- little 1yr-old Ruth. This was earlier than intended of course, but Genesis is just so mature for her age. And she loves it too! Plus Mama Eva is just far too busy with unsafe diaper changes to have time for her second-youngest. (Or third. Or fourth. Or...)

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What a servant's heart you have Genesis!

Lastly, Leviticus' budding preacher's heart has been somewhat hampered by his latest fashion choices, but he's not letting that discourage him. 

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"Hey Billie- for no reason at all, what's your favorite kind of cake? Also if you don't come back to youth group we're going to have to pray for your soul" - Leviticus, probably

And that's a wrap on 2020/year 11. Everyone still gets to sleep at the same time, and there's only 4 children in each room, even if newly-minted sister-mom Genesis (age 11) is sharing with 1-yr old Ruth. They just insisted on sharing. How precious. Coming up in year 12- which Johnson sister will have their baby first and will Billie ever block Leviticus' number?! For now, Eden's out! 

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  • Upvote 6
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10 Comments


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Jatalie1996

Posted

Hmmm. Is there still time for Billie's soul to be saved in time to be a Godly little future helpmeet for Leviticus? ;) 

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neurogirl

Posted

@Jatalie1996 Leviticus is only 9, so there might be time! I would love to see if that’s possible but Leviticus first needs to ditch the stupid bear suit!!!

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mango_fandango

Posted

Out of all the kids I've played, fundie or not, the Bear phase has been the most common by far. Evelyn Smith is in a Loud phase currently, but that's not affecting her much except she shouts angrily sometimes. The autonomous action is "shout bad words" but I'm interpreting that as "I HATE FORNICATORS!" or whatever shite fundies spew. 

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neurogirl

Posted

@WineGlass According to JRod's April 3 post (after going on about her 12 kids, 5 SEVERE miscarriages, and baby 13 on the way):

"We also enjoyed having my sister – Angie Hillegass- with her 7 children come visit us while we were there.  Angie was (at the time) about 4 1/2 months pregnant and I was over 8 months pregnant.  SPECIAL!!"

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DisgustedofHove

Posted

I love the Edens too! Look forward to the next update, you really make it come alive with your narration.

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neurogirl

Posted

Thanks friends! I was delayed because my grad school program is particularly busy atm, and I have some weekends away coming up, but it's nice to know that other people are snark-following the Edens! I may be slower but I hope to steadily see them to at least the end of Eva's fertile years! 

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WineGlass

Posted (edited)

I want to see it at least until the children defect and go their own way. 

 

Because every story should have a happy ending. 

Edited by WineGlass

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  • Posts

    • AmericanRose

      Posted

      Spoiler

       

      Maternal Grandmother (1/1): Born 1934. Got married at 22, and had her 3 kids at 23, 29, and 32 (she also underwent a mastectomy at 26). Got divorced in her 50s and remarried a cousin's (widowed) husband shortly after.
      Paternal Grandmother (9/10): Born 1932. Got married at 21, and had her 2 kids at 23 and 26.

      Maternal Grandfather (1/5): Born 1936. Got married at 21, and had his 3 kids at 21, 27, and 30. Got divorced in his 50s, married his long-time mistress.
      Paternal Grandfather (2/4): Born 1928. Got married at 25, and had his 2 kids at 26 and 29.

      Mother (2/3): Born 1963. Got married at 20, had me at 21.
      Father (2/2): Born 1958. Got married at 26, had me at 26.

      Me (1/1): Born 1984. Single with no kids. I have 5 cousins, only 1 is married at this point.

       

      My family tradition seems to be being pregnant at your wedding - at least, on my mom's side.

      It's interesting to see the family size get smaller! The Duggars are the opposite...

    • baldricks_turnip

      Posted

      5 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

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      Posted

      The reason liquor stores are considered essential businesses during emergencies is so that the healthcare system isn’t overwhelmed by active alcoholics forced into a sudden detox.

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    • Tangy Bee

      Posted

      @baldricks_turnipthought I was the only one up. "An anxious and closed off person," for describing Jana. I've been thinking the same thing for years! If she really sincerely wants to be married...I hope it happens before her youngest sisters become old enough for courtship. Those girls are like her children. We already have Justin, who in my opinion looks like he's in 8th grade. Watching siblings you've helped raise get married has got to be horribly tough. Jana can smile all she wants, I'm not buying it. I'm glad she has hobbies and other distractions to keep her busy.

    • mango_fandango

      Posted

      Cheerleading pom poms? Say whaaaat?

      ”Gimme a J! Gimme an E! Gimme an S! Gimme a U! Gimme an S! What have we got? JESUS!”

       

      • Upvote 1
      • I Agree 2


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