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Sims in Cult: Grifting Ministries

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Blessed be the Leghumpers: Part 1 (Ranfords)

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AlwaysExcited

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Hello again. The blog now has a new title and two new main characters, but some things will never change. Like the ridiculousness of Ranfords. 
When we last left them, they had just welcomed four new sons. How is their life with quads? 

Well...

Fun fact: it takes about four hours to feed two toddlers and five babies. Then you have about an hour to take a shower or eat, before the long and messy circle of diaper change starts. 
If you get lucky, they sleep between feeding and changing.
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"Maybe we should also adopt?"
Umm, no. 
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With so many kids, there is often not enough time to pick up all the bottles or look after all your blessings to make sure nobody eats an old milk and gets sick. 
Besides, bottle picking is Reed's new jurisdiction, where is he?
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Interesting... he has found a friend! Who happens to be a girl. With short hair! :pink-shock: At least she wears skirts.

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"What do you mean, you don't go to school? Who teaches you math?"
"What's math?"
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Reed's new friend is into sports... Weird. Is she feminine enough? Won't she encourage Reed to do bad things like asking questions and having relationships outside of the family unit? Zachary decided to have a talk with Reed about worldly influences. After all, Satan always tries to get the first born sons. 

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Viola meanwhile started a blog called "Natural, Neat, and Noble" where she writes about godly way of living. Tribes of Israel lived in tents near rivers, and you should, too! They didn't send their kids to public school and didn't give birth in hospitals, and you shouldn't either!
It's logic, guys. 
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Quick reminder: Huckleberry exists. And is ready to grow up. 
He got a birthday cake, but only because automatic aging didn't work for some reason. 
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Poor guy looks a lot like Zachary. 

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Speaking of Zachary, it was time for church's first service. 
He arrived early to meet all visitors. The ownership of church got transferred to Hsus, because Ranfords already have one business, and Hsus need an income as well. But Jihoon is way too shy to talk with strangers or give public speeches, so Zachary is still the pastor. 
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Jihoon... isn't that good with this business thingy, to be honest.

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Some townies think this new church is a real #blessing and will make Crystal Archipelago better.
This one, for example, gave Zachary a tv worth 8,000 $. 
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"Wow, how neat! We will send you a free copy of my book. When I finish it."
"You are writing a book?"
"No."
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Others felt differently. 
A teen, whose name is Sinjin Couderc (I think), for example didn't like Zachary's statement about homosexuality's unnatural nature.
"What the hell that even means?" 
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The church was still filled with decorations from Jihoon and Lyndsay's wedding, so Zachary had to make his speech outside. At first, nobody cared. 

"Guys? Guys? I have to say some very important things about the acceptable length of woman's skirt... Look, no offense, but some of you could use that information! It's coming straight from God!"

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Then Sinjin came over, and very nice old gentleman (named Ethan Barrett) followed him. Ethan had overheard Sinjin and Zachary's previous conversation, and felt that it was a good idea to cheer Sinjin up. 

"Look, I personally think that you can go to heaven regardless of whether or not your way is straight."
Zachary was shocked, I tell you, shocked.
"That's... That's a sin!"
 Don't rush into that judgment, buddy. I randomize my simss sexual orientations right after birth, so I know that not all of your sons will grow up heterosexual. ;)

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Unfortunately, this lady felt similar as Zachary and was quick to tell him so. 
Possible new leghumper? 
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Uh-huh. :shocked:

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After service Zachary reminded Jihoon to have as many babies as possible and then went home to install a new tv and watch some football. Just for research purposes, of course. You have to keep up with heathen world to save it.  

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Thanks for reading, everyone. The part about Hsus will follow soon. Rufus bless. 

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mango_fandango

Posted

Lovely picture of Rufus at the end!

Ahhh, Chloe Gonzaga (girl in the red check skirt). She used to show up all the time in my games. 

Having that many babies and toddlers sounds like a fucking nightmare!!

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AlwaysExcited

Posted

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Having that many babies and toddlers sounds like a fucking nightmare!!

It is. For me. They are constantly rolling wants for more. 

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mango_fandango

Posted

Sims (and fundies) are well known for being batcrap crazy. 

No little sister-moms either. Reed will have a lot to do as a teen... or will he be allowed to chill out as he’s a penis owner? 

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AlwaysExcited

Posted

At least there has not been that "have 20 kids" want. :pb_lol: (Does it actually exists? I think it does, but I have never seen it in-game. Most of my family sims want 10 kids at some point, but never more.)

Reed will probably have a lot of jurisdictions, but, as Ranfords live in forest, there are lot of "manly" stuff for him to do. He can already fish, and as teen he will be able to hunt and make furniture. Viola manages cooking, but needs help with cleaning, so I guess older boys will have to do that as well. 

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mango_fandango

Posted

I don’t think there is a “20 Children” want, I think the max is 10. There’s a similar want for a certain number of grandchildren, although it’s not for a specific number.

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neurogirl

Posted

When Zach is preaching at the church, how did you do that in Sims? Did you make a community lot and build a church-looking building on it? He is "giving a speech?" I've never seen such a thing!

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AlwaysExcited

Posted

It's an owned community lot, yes. Church is not exactly church-looking, it's basically a square. :pb_lol: But it's enough for now. I just pretend that visitors are either fundies, or fundie-lights (thus the immodest clothing), or interested for other reasons. 
Well, he is technically performing stand-up comedy... And apparently is not very good at it. 

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Sarah92

Posted

Omgosh as a fellow simmer I think this is hilarious. I might have a new idea for future game play.

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  • Posts

    • DundeeUnFundie

      Posted

      I think she said she notices them 'in the act' and takes them to finish up by sitting on the potty.

    • Sarah92

      Posted

      I have to say that I appreciate my parents for generally respecting my dietary preferences because many of them didn't go away even as an adult. Of course, I had to try some things but often if I didn't want to eat what my parents were serving I could go make toast and eggs. It helped me learn to use the stove responsibly from a pretty young age and start learning to cook, a current passion of mine. My parents are very much meat, potato, and a veggie type of people so it wasn't like I was rejecting sardines and yams. Uncooked cheese tastes like chalk 99% of the time to me and my brain basically tells me that mayo is absolutely not allowed. I'm really glad that my parents didn't force feed these things to me. I had an aunt that gave me a mayo sandwich after I wanted a bread and butter one (looking back I'd never just eat cold bread and butter like that now). My brain had a mini freak out tasting the mayo.

      Speaking of food. What all did you make for dinner? I made fried rice with coconut aminos and lots of bits of leftovers. It was tasty. Plus store bought potstickers because they take far longer for me to make by hand. 

       

      • Upvote 1
    • amendgitan

      Posted

      So what happened to Laura De Maisie? Did they force her to leave? If Jana is suddenly courting the timing will be suspicious to me. 

      Like they're trying to stave off rumors. 

      I have conflicted feelings about Jana. I think she is solidly indoctrinated and won't accept a life that doesn't toe the line. I think the spunk and spirit was beat out of her with plumbing line when she was small, based on various comments made about how she was so naughty in childhood and got in trouble so much, juxtaposed with how emotionless and flat she is. 

      I do think she's been wistful about being married or at least able to join her married/dating siblings because she's still treated and viewed as a dependent child, no matter how much she runs that house. 

      I agree with whoever said she's shy and had a lot of responsibility in the house hence it may have been harder for her to meet possible "suitors" or have them notice her. 

      And of course her family relies on her so much they may not have encouraged her to get married. 

      But even if she doesn't feel excited about marrying a man, she has got to feel lonely in a sense. Or infantilized. One wants their independence at a certain point. 

    • ophelia

      Posted

      So totally random, but when she mentions the 5AM body combat class, does she mean she gets up at 5AM to be able to make it on time or that the actual class starts at 5AM? My gym doesn't even open until 8PM. Probably because it is cheap af.

    • ophelia

      Posted

      This whole retreat puzzles me: the costs, the fact that it is in Europe and people have to travel across continents only to pray and drink fancy coffee for three days and the apparent Switzerland connection that Allison seems to have that was never mentioned before.

      On one hand I really want this retreat to happen just to see who could afford to attend and on the other hand I doubt she will get enough girls to pay the price and travel on their own across the world. Some of these SAHDs can hardly run errands without a male headship! Traveling to liberal/socialist/heathen Europe? Sure!

      • Upvote 1


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