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Sims in Cult: Grifting Ministries

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Blessed be the Leghumpers: Part 1 (Ranfords)

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AlwaysExcited

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Hello again. The blog now has a new title and two new main characters, but some things will never change. Like the ridiculousness of Ranfords. 
When we last left them, they had just welcomed four new sons. How is their life with quads? 

Well...

Fun fact: it takes about four hours to feed two toddlers and five babies. Then you have about an hour to take a shower or eat, before the long and messy circle of diaper change starts. 
If you get lucky, they sleep between feeding and changing.
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"Maybe we should also adopt?"
Umm, no. 
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With so many kids, there is often not enough time to pick up all the bottles or look after all your blessings to make sure nobody eats an old milk and gets sick. 
Besides, bottle picking is Reed's new jurisdiction, where is he?
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Interesting... he has found a friend! Who happens to be a girl. With short hair! :pink-shock: At least she wears skirts.

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"What do you mean, you don't go to school? Who teaches you math?"
"What's math?"
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Reed's new friend is into sports... Weird. Is she feminine enough? Won't she encourage Reed to do bad things like asking questions and having relationships outside of the family unit? Zachary decided to have a talk with Reed about worldly influences. After all, Satan always tries to get the first born sons. 

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Viola meanwhile started a blog called "Natural, Neat, and Noble" where she writes about godly way of living. Tribes of Israel lived in tents near rivers, and you should, too! They didn't send their kids to public school and didn't give birth in hospitals, and you shouldn't either!
It's logic, guys. 
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Quick reminder: Huckleberry exists. And is ready to grow up. 
He got a birthday cake, but only because automatic aging didn't work for some reason. 
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Poor guy looks a lot like Zachary. 

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Speaking of Zachary, it was time for church's first service. 
He arrived early to meet all visitors. The ownership of church got transferred to Hsus, because Ranfords already have one business, and Hsus need an income as well. But Jihoon is way too shy to talk with strangers or give public speeches, so Zachary is still the pastor. 
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Jihoon... isn't that good with this business thingy, to be honest.

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Some townies think this new church is a real #blessing and will make Crystal Archipelago better.
This one, for example, gave Zachary a tv worth 8,000 $. 
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"Wow, how neat! We will send you a free copy of my book. When I finish it."
"You are writing a book?"
"No."
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Others felt differently. 
A teen, whose name is Sinjin Couderc (I think), for example didn't like Zachary's statement about homosexuality's unnatural nature.
"What the hell that even means?" 
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The church was still filled with decorations from Jihoon and Lyndsay's wedding, so Zachary had to make his speech outside. At first, nobody cared. 

"Guys? Guys? I have to say some very important things about the acceptable length of woman's skirt... Look, no offense, but some of you could use that information! It's coming straight from God!"

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Then Sinjin came over, and very nice old gentleman (named Ethan Barrett) followed him. Ethan had overheard Sinjin and Zachary's previous conversation, and felt that it was a good idea to cheer Sinjin up. 

"Look, I personally think that you can go to heaven regardless of whether or not your way is straight."
Zachary was shocked, I tell you, shocked.
"That's... That's a sin!"
 Don't rush into that judgment, buddy. I randomize my simss sexual orientations right after birth, so I know that not all of your sons will grow up heterosexual. ;)

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Unfortunately, this lady felt similar as Zachary and was quick to tell him so. 
Possible new leghumper? 
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Uh-huh. :shocked:

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After service Zachary reminded Jihoon to have as many babies as possible and then went home to install a new tv and watch some football. Just for research purposes, of course. You have to keep up with heathen world to save it.  

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Thanks for reading, everyone. The part about Hsus will follow soon. Rufus bless. 

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mango_fandango

Posted

Lovely picture of Rufus at the end!

Ahhh, Chloe Gonzaga (girl in the red check skirt). She used to show up all the time in my games. 

Having that many babies and toddlers sounds like a fucking nightmare!!

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AlwaysExcited

Posted

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Having that many babies and toddlers sounds like a fucking nightmare!!

It is. For me. They are constantly rolling wants for more. 

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mango_fandango

Posted

Sims (and fundies) are well known for being batcrap crazy. 

No little sister-moms either. Reed will have a lot to do as a teen... or will he be allowed to chill out as he’s a penis owner? 

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AlwaysExcited

Posted

At least there has not been that "have 20 kids" want. :pb_lol: (Does it actually exists? I think it does, but I have never seen it in-game. Most of my family sims want 10 kids at some point, but never more.)

Reed will probably have a lot of jurisdictions, but, as Ranfords live in forest, there are lot of "manly" stuff for him to do. He can already fish, and as teen he will be able to hunt and make furniture. Viola manages cooking, but needs help with cleaning, so I guess older boys will have to do that as well. 

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mango_fandango

Posted

I don’t think there is a “20 Children” want, I think the max is 10. There’s a similar want for a certain number of grandchildren, although it’s not for a specific number.

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neurogirl

Posted

When Zach is preaching at the church, how did you do that in Sims? Did you make a community lot and build a church-looking building on it? He is "giving a speech?" I've never seen such a thing!

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AlwaysExcited

Posted

It's an owned community lot, yes. Church is not exactly church-looking, it's basically a square. :pb_lol: But it's enough for now. I just pretend that visitors are either fundies, or fundie-lights (thus the immodest clothing), or interested for other reasons. 
Well, he is technically performing stand-up comedy... And apparently is not very good at it. 

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Sarah92

Posted

Omgosh as a fellow simmer I think this is hilarious. I might have a new idea for future game play.

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  • Posts

    • FluffySnowball

      Posted

      1 hour ago, princessmahina said:

      Wait, did she say this?? I must have missed it. I was under the impression that she was still intending to be quiverfull. 

      No, she didn’t say that. Sorry if I haven’t made myself clear. I just thought considering she has health struggles and frequently seems overwhelmed and close to tears, it just MIGHT be her last baby. But from the information she posts publicly, we can/should still assume she’s quiverfull. 

    • FecundFundieFundus

      Posted

      It's really a shame Tom isn't putting some of the GFM money towards netbooks for the kids. Online schooling would ease up his "burden" (okay yeah it's an actual responsibility, but it's ridiculous how uninvolved he was with it previously and how crappy their chosen method was. And there's this handy thing called public school where there are professional teachers with curriculums and counselors on site and access to social support...) and would still count as homeschooling since that's such a sticking point for them. 

      • Upvote 1
    • lilwriter85

      Posted

      2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

       

      I'm pretty sure a large number of Lori's leghumpers are far less well off than her, and for them money is tighter than time. So their reaction to a problem is to dump it on their husband, who then is expected (or feels he has to, or can only afford to) fix it himself. 

      Lori, however, whines at Ken, who then almost certainly calls in a professional to deal with the problem. Ken's way of dealing with the problem is to call the plumber/repairman/whatever and get out the credit card/checkbook to pay for it.

      Lori is very shortsighted. She doesn't realize that her fangirls trying to take her advice are living far different lives than hers. For example it's very easy for Lori to eat organic food, so everyone should. It never occurs to her that there are places where organic food is less easy to acquire, or that people might not be able to afford organic, or any of a million other reasons why someone might find it difficult or impossible to live like Lori. This applies to ALL of Lori's advice. She thinks everyone lives like she does, so must do what she says (but not what she does, because Lori is special and blessed or something).

       

      I agree with what you're saying.  I remember a couple of fangirls saying they saved money because their husbands did household repairs. Growing up, my parents did  household repairs for things they were sure they could do. There were times they called in professionals for major repairs that they didn't feel comfortable doing. Lori wouldn't give a shit if a fangirl's husband was unable to do a major plumbing repair and they don't have money for a plumber. 

      • Upvote 1
    • smittykins

      Posted

      I remember Jimmy saying that he’s pansexual.

    • Palimpsest

      Posted

      And we finally have an official public update.  In excruciating detail.  I'm feeling free to share it because I shared Johnny's prayer request.  Being cyber-challenged I will have to ask someone else to share all the piccies and a video of Johnny walking for those who are blocked.

      And he's now a "metallic missionary with a bionic back."   

      Quote

      After Surgery Report from Baptist Missionary John Shrader (feel free to share if you were one of the many that shared our prayer request!)

      I first of all want to praise the Living God of Heaven. I am looking forward to sharing more in the coming days of what God has done, and how clearly and evident it has been seen that "...the good hand of our God was upon us," as the Bible said about Ezra and others.

      I secondly want to thank the many many dear people that prayed, and are continuing in prayer for me at this critical juncture. I still need your prayers for the days ahead.

      God has chosen to orchestrate, in an incontrovertible manner, an amazing sequence of events to bring a medical miracle to me.

      As I slowly share the stories in the days to come, I pray that you will have your faith strengthened that implicitly trusting, by complete faith, in God's direction through the leading of His Holy Spirit (always in accordance with, and NEVER in the slightest way against, His Holy Word). These testimonies can only be explained through the power of God and the Divine leadership of God the Holy Spirit!

      I went into surgery around 7:30 Wed. am, the 21st of August. They brought me back, after about 5 hours of surgery and then some recovery, to the hospital room where dad was waiting around 2:30 pm. The main Surgeon is Dr. Scott Hodges, whose practice is based in Tennessee. He along with another eminent Spine Surgeon, Dr. Humphries, as well as a biomedical engineer invented the most amazing replacement disk.

      Dr. Hodges has performed over 16,000 surgeries, but was dissatisfied with the loss of motion with fusion operations, and the fact that a fusion patient is 2-5x more likely to need additional surgeries, and wanted "motion preservation." You will see from the X-Ray scans the disk replacement prosthesis are at different angles, truly an amazing device. It's made of one of the hardest metals in the world, and has been tested in the lab to 40+ years of simulated use and showed virtually no wear. It's edges are titanium, which bone adheres very well too. My bones will eventually grow around the device, but there are two pedical screws anchoring the device. The clinical data is quite amazing, and this device and procedure has an astounding 94% patient satisfaction, virtually unheard of in the world of back surgeries!

      I am posting two new pics of a cross section of my spinal canal. The first one shows a fairly normal view of my spine. The white, almost heart-shaped section in the middle is the spinal canal, and the little black dots at the bottom of that is my nerves.

      The second pic shows how the herniated disk was compressing the nerves. When a surgeon who has done 16,000+ surgeries calls your injuries "impressive," that's saying something. Dr. Hodges was very surprised I've been able to do as much as I have been!

      I am astounded how God has so clearly and providentially orchestrated all this, and I am deeply humbled and grateful for the precious prayers of all of you. Literally all over the world, from Siberia, Nepal, Singapore, Canada, China, South Korea, Israel, Australia, all over America, and possibly other places I don't know about, God's people poured out petitions on my behalf. Our dear folks in our first church plant in Kafue were fasting and praying the entire day of the surgery. Because they are 7 hours ahead, that means they were meeting at the church property until 9 pm, so precious.

      I humbly ask those who God touches your heart to continue lifting me to the "...throne of grace..." in this time of need. I'm including a small clip dad took of me walking just a few hours after surgery with Dr. Hodges.

      This team is amazing, God fearing people that truly care, have amazing skill and knowledge, and are part of my medical miracle. I'm now a metallic missionary with a bionic back. I'm also only the second patient ever to have 3 of these implants put in! The first man was 79 years old!

      Thank you for caring and praying dear friends, please don't stop!

      Bro. John Shrader
      Historic Biblical Baptist Missionary based in Zambia

      I genuinely hope these implants work for John.  For Esther and the children's sake as well as his own.

      He is promising to share more of his stories soon.  Perhaps he will share that his recovery and rehab will take a lot longer than he thought.  

      But I want him to share who the flying fuck paid for this obviously incredibly expensive surgery!  Don't just tell us the Lord provided it!

      And can you also share the incriminating pictures you have hidden away of this mystery person, Johnny.  Other far more deserving people may need urgent back surgery too!

      • Upvote 2
      • Thank You 2


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