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Sims in Cult: Grifting Ministries

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Blessed be the Leghumpers: Part 1 (Ranfords)

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Hello again. The blog now has a new title and two new main characters, but some things will never change. Like the ridiculousness of Ranfords. 
When we last left them, they had just welcomed four new sons. How is their life with quads? 


Fun fact: it takes about four hours to feed two toddlers and five babies. Then you have about an hour to take a shower or eat, before the long and messy circle of diaper change starts. 
If you get lucky, they sleep between feeding and changing.


"Maybe we should also adopt?"
Umm, no. 


With so many kids, there is often not enough time to pick up all the bottles or look after all your blessings to make sure nobody eats an old milk and gets sick. 
Besides, bottle picking is Reed's new jurisdiction, where is he?


Interesting... he has found a friend! Who happens to be a girl. With short hair! :pink-shock: At least she wears skirts.



"What do you mean, you don't go to school? Who teaches you math?"
"What's math?"


Reed's new friend is into sports... Weird. Is she feminine enough? Won't she encourage Reed to do bad things like asking questions and having relationships outside of the family unit? Zachary decided to have a talk with Reed about worldly influences. After all, Satan always tries to get the first born sons. 



Viola meanwhile started a blog called "Natural, Neat, and Noble" where she writes about godly way of living. Tribes of Israel lived in tents near rivers, and you should, too! They didn't send their kids to public school and didn't give birth in hospitals, and you shouldn't either!
It's logic, guys. 


Quick reminder: Huckleberry exists. And is ready to grow up. 
He got a birthday cake, but only because automatic aging didn't work for some reason. 


Poor guy looks a lot like Zachary. 



Speaking of Zachary, it was time for church's first service. 
He arrived early to meet all visitors. The ownership of church got transferred to Hsus, because Ranfords already have one business, and Hsus need an income as well. But Jihoon is way too shy to talk with strangers or give public speeches, so Zachary is still the pastor. 


Jihoon... isn't that good with this business thingy, to be honest.




Some townies think this new church is a real #blessing and will make Crystal Archipelago better.
This one, for example, gave Zachary a tv worth 8,000 $. 


"Wow, how neat! We will send you a free copy of my book. When I finish it."
"You are writing a book?"


Others felt differently. 
A teen, whose name is Sinjin Couderc (I think), for example didn't like Zachary's statement about homosexuality's unnatural nature.
"What the hell that even means?" 


The church was still filled with decorations from Jihoon and Lyndsay's wedding, so Zachary had to make his speech outside. At first, nobody cared. 

"Guys? Guys? I have to say some very important things about the acceptable length of woman's skirt... Look, no offense, but some of you could use that information! It's coming straight from God!"



Then Sinjin came over, and very nice old gentleman (named Ethan Barrett) followed him. Ethan had overheard Sinjin and Zachary's previous conversation, and felt that it was a good idea to cheer Sinjin up. 

"Look, I personally think that you can go to heaven regardless of whether or not your way is straight."
Zachary was shocked, I tell you, shocked.
"That's... That's a sin!"
 Don't rush into that judgment, buddy. I randomize my simss sexual orientations right after birth, so I know that not all of your sons will grow up heterosexual. ;)



Unfortunately, this lady felt similar as Zachary and was quick to tell him so. 
Possible new leghumper? 


Uh-huh. :shocked:



After service Zachary reminded Jihoon to have as many babies as possible and then went home to install a new tv and watch some football. Just for research purposes, of course. You have to keep up with heathen world to save it.  



Thanks for reading, everyone. The part about Hsus will follow soon. Rufus bless. 




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Lovely picture of Rufus at the end!

Ahhh, Chloe Gonzaga (girl in the red check skirt). She used to show up all the time in my games. 

Having that many babies and toddlers sounds like a fucking nightmare!!

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1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Having that many babies and toddlers sounds like a fucking nightmare!!

It is. For me. They are constantly rolling wants for more. 

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Sims (and fundies) are well known for being batcrap crazy. 

No little sister-moms either. Reed will have a lot to do as a teen... or will he be allowed to chill out as he’s a penis owner? 

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At least there has not been that "have 20 kids" want. :pb_lol: (Does it actually exists? I think it does, but I have never seen it in-game. Most of my family sims want 10 kids at some point, but never more.)

Reed will probably have a lot of jurisdictions, but, as Ranfords live in forest, there are lot of "manly" stuff for him to do. He can already fish, and as teen he will be able to hunt and make furniture. Viola manages cooking, but needs help with cleaning, so I guess older boys will have to do that as well. 

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I don’t think there is a “20 Children” want, I think the max is 10. There’s a similar want for a certain number of grandchildren, although it’s not for a specific number.

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When Zach is preaching at the church, how did you do that in Sims? Did you make a community lot and build a church-looking building on it? He is "giving a speech?" I've never seen such a thing!

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It's an owned community lot, yes. Church is not exactly church-looking, it's basically a square. :pb_lol: But it's enough for now. I just pretend that visitors are either fundies, or fundie-lights (thus the immodest clothing), or interested for other reasons. 
Well, he is technically performing stand-up comedy... And apparently is not very good at it. 

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Omgosh as a fellow simmer I think this is hilarious. I might have a new idea for future game play.

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