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Sims in Cult: Grifting Ministries

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Ranfords, Days 11 - 12: The Series of Unfortunate Events


AlwaysExcited

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Ok, folks, 
Reed's birth was huge blessing and all, but Ranfords soon started to worry about Satans shenanigans. Because something was wrong, and it had nothing to do with them or their choices.  
First of all, Viola couldnt get pregnant right after giving birth, although Ranfords sure did everything they could about it. 
Poor tent can confirm. O.O

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Zacahary was devastated. Will Reed reach his toddlerhood without being a big brother? Will Viola end up having less than 10 children?? Will Zacahary grow old without a quiver full of red haired arrows to show off as a sign of his manliness??? 

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Second, even with only one child, parenting was hard. Like, baby sometimes cried and was stinky. Putting him in muddles didn't help. 

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Admittedly, Ranfords practiced hands-off parenting, sometimes literally  

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But can you blame them? (Well, I can). They had sooo much work, folks. Winter was coming, so they had to fill the refrigerator with food. I mean, Viola had. Zachary did manly work. 

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But Ranfords still knew they were doing the right thing. They received small, encouraging blessings every day.
For example, Zachary got a fishing talent badge, although he had only catched one fish in his entire life. 
That does, of course, prove that they are Right Kind of Christians and everything will be provided for them. Somehow. 

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Reed grew up into toddler (and Viola wasn't pregnant yet.). He looks like his daddy. He is somewhat neat, very active and outgoing, maximally playful and extremely grouchy. Oh-uh. Little cult leader in making. 
There was no cake or anything. As his birthday present Reed received a new outfit. A proper boy outfit, not that girly pink thing he grew up into. 

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His parents, however, celebrated with sweat fellowshiping. And heard a chime! Stranger yelled on them again, just like when they got pregnant with Reed! Its a sign. 
Townie left angry and frustrated, probably to start #FreeReed movement. 

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Although pregnant again, Viola still sometimes felt doubts about this lifestyle. As much as she tried to convince herself, count her blessings and control her own thought life, she didn't see a way for this to work out. To keep it sweat and submissive, she took her anger out on garden gnome. 

Viola (inside): "You will never be republican senator, idiot, you can't even figure out how to build a proper house!"
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Did I mention that Zachary finished kitchen? Because he did. Viola now could grill their hotdogs inside. 
Only the first time she did, a fire started! (Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa - forgot that grills shouldn't be used inside.)

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Fire! Fire! What do you do when fire starts at your home?! Zach had no clue. 

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Reed, being smarter than his parents, left the room and entertained himself till it was over. 

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Viola almost burned to death, but Zachary saved her. (Viola now can use it as metaphor to talk about Hell and Faith.)

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Finally fire burned out. Ranfords lost a grill, a fridge and few old boxes. The biggest loss was food that burned with furniture. 

BUT GUYS! There is a great testimony in it all!!! The SIGN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS! THE TOTAL BLESSING.
 THE FIRST BUMP OF PREGNANCY! It sure means... Something.

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Viola was so tired she fell asleep right there.  Zachary worried about her dangerously low needs, possible death and their lost furniture. 
This is going to be a looooooooooooong pregnancy.

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  • Posts

    • postscript

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Jasmar said:

      Fuck. You.

      (eta: not you @thoughtful 😘)

      Says the former-Christian with decades-long, treatment-resistant depression

      (And hey Gar, how about you take your own self back into the pitsa Hell whence you came)

      I’ll second that fuck you (aimed at Gary, of course). Depression, anxiety and I are old friends. Prayer is but one of many treatments that doesn’t help. I’m sure if Becky suffered from depression, Gary would just tell her to get over it. 

      I’m shocked he’s coming back to Michigan in November. He could very well run into snow. I look forward to hearing him whine about the weather. 

      Yet another vehicle repair. Color me not surprised. I agree with @Black Aliss that these donated vehicles are probably all one step away from the junk heap. 

    • danvillebelle

      Posted

      BEC because I'm in a bitchy mood: this past Sunday pic is one of the most unflattering of Braggie I've ever seen.  That dress is NOT doing her any favors; her boobs look smashed and the huge print doesn't suit her.  And she's wearing the hairstyle (if you can call it that) that makes her head look 10 miles long.  And the company she bought (or was probably gifted for IG exposure) the dresses from is run by Mormons.  Tsk tsk Braggie, your hypocrisy is showing again. :naughty:

    • thoughtful

      Posted (edited)

      The 6/6 evening service at Walker Bible Baptist Church in Lansing MI begins with the guitar trio again, playing The Family of God again.

      Pastor Garver (aka Brother David) tells them his wife is now the "producer" of their service videos, and milks them for some applause for her, then says "she alright for a white girl, I'm tellin' ya, she's not bad at all." :wtf:

      He says the credits will list him as "extremely handsome pastor."

      Gary moans through the prayer, and the pastor announces that Gary will be coming back next June and they will be having a camp meeting under the tent. After some salvation-blather, he reminds them that Gary, the missionary coming to visit next week, and the parsonage project all need money.

      But only if God puts it on their hearts.

      The teens with the guitars sing a song I couldn't find anywhere, about how they can't wait until Sunday, because church. Then all sing At Calvary. The Hawkinses sing something - I fast forward.

      Pastor reminds them of Gary's need for $5000 for his truck before the offering.

      After the offering, the pastor tells them to "love on sister," meaning Becky, "livin' on the road's not easy, and she's also outnumbered in the house, so that can't make it to easy either."

      Becky says "No. I miss my girls."

      Gary comes up, and talks about his plans to come back. He may also see them in November, because he will be coming to Michigan for another church. He says the only thing he doesn't like about coming there in November is that "y'all could have snow," and some wag warns him "No cussin' in church," just in case.

      After his thank-yous, Gary announces a verse. It's very short - Proverbs 25:25: As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.

      With the help of the Lord, Gary wants to preach There is Good News.

      He does several minutes, of course, about how there is no good news from the TV, Facebook, radio, etc. It's from the pulpit - sometimes.

      Gary mentions the three heavens - I never heard him talk about that before.

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A16&version=KJV

      Gary has a comforter, and he tells them about how Brother McFadden is comforted. Some vague Becky-bashing follows.

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+5%3A8&version=KJV

      Jesus loves Gary, and Gary can't figure out why, because he knows he doesn't deserve it.

      While talking about all of the things God gave him recently (that actually came from other people, of course), Gary tells us that, yesterday, God let him walk about a mile and a half from where his vehicle was broken down, and walk back with the part he needed.

      Yes, the van broke down yet again.

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A57&version=KJV

      Gary's on the winning side. Screaming about this, back and forth, ensues.

      "Joe Bahden's a loser." Gary's not talking about the election, he's talking about  not being saved.

      He talks about Mrs. McFadden's great death again, and the preacher who fell over dead just after putting his money in the collection plate.

      Gary reads Hebrews 13:14 - well, sort of.

      KJV: For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.
      BGV: For here we - for here we have continuing cities, but we seek one to come.

      Somebody in the congregation beats Gary to the punch, and yells out "I'm looking for that city!" just before Gary starts to say it, so they overlap like a weird mindless-preaching round.

      Gary does his Heaven schtick.

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+john+1%3A9&version=KJV

      While yammering on about how forgiving God is, Gary tells them that sometimes he messes up and says something backwards or wrong, and Becky and Jacob always point it out to him later. He says "Well, you go up there an' trah it and see how it works out for you."

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+john+5%3A13&version=KJV

      Lots of shrieking back and forth about not being able to lose your salvation.  And, of course, the story about the Wesleyan teens who told Gary he could lose it if he died in the middle of a bad dream.

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=revelation+20%3A10&version=KJV

      He stumbles through this, messing up almost every word.

      "Out of all the people ah know, ah hate the devil." Gary screams about the devil for a while.

      "The blood. The devil hates the word blood."

      https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts++16%3A31&version=KJV

      Gary babbles to the end.

       

      Edited by thoughtful
      riffles
      • Thank You 2
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      I feel bad for Elizabeth. She’s only a teen and has to be the new family blogger and probably a bunch of other work on top of it. 

      • Upvote 2
    • ElizaB

      Posted

      Eh... I wouldn't read to much into that.The Bonts are not good posters and things often are posted late -especially with Chelsy gone (who was the main blogger). 

      • Upvote 1


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