Keeping Up With The Dunkels - Chapter 7: Baaaaaaaaaabes and Baaaaaaaaabies!

 

Last time on 'Keeping Up With The Dunkels', we saw Cathy Dunkel give birth to her 12th child, Aaron, in the middle of preparing the wedding feast on the morning of Adam and Mehrissa's marriage. Then we saw Adam and Mehrissa say their vows and have their VERY. FIRST. KISS.

Later on at the reception, Asher Dunkel had his birthday party! Asher had now entered his teen years. Lawson Bates, is that you?!

 

Adam and Mehrissa went straight from their reception to their honeymoon destination, a rustic mountain lodge.

 

Hey hey hey!

*Shudders*

 

Now validated and secure in his manhood, Adam celebrated by grilling some hot dogs.

 

Oh dear! Well, what do you expect when you can't even front hug till marriage? Adam and Mehrissa got a bit adventurous on their honeymoon by 'woohooing' in the hammock outside their cabin! Before anyone calls the morality police, it was a white married heterosexual Christian couple doing it in the missionary position, okay? And they were perfectly secluded! At most hammock sex has got to be a small fine. Please don't make them confess in front of the entire church!

 

A few days later, Adam and Mehrissa returned from their honeymoon and moved into their brand new house! It was small but cozy, perfect for the two of them, and one or two future blessings. 

 

And best of all... it was right next door to the Dunkels!!!

(I was thinking about keeping Adam and Mehrissa on the main lot and building them a little cottage out back, but nope. Adam was forced to leave and cleave. The big house was just too chaotic.)

 

Adam originally planned to make a living by making and selling Christian toys (that was that weird machine you saw in the spare bedroom, btw) but it was just way too draining - almost like J-O-B! Adam quickly hit upon an alternative: he would write Christian self-help books! Telling other people how to live and think came super naturally to him, and as the eldest son of a mega fundie family who had just been blessed with a sweet wife, he had all the life experience he needed. His first book was entitled: Guard Your Heart: 14 Godly Ways to Improve Your Testimony

 

Mehrissa had SUCH a fright when she accidentally lit the stove on fire trying to make pancakes and a FEMALE firefighter arrived to put it out! Mehrissa lectured herself. "If only my homemaking skills were better, this woman could be at home in her proper place, making babies and baking cookies!"

Not sure about that logic, but... okay.

 

Days later, Adam and Mehrissa got a precious surprise: they were expecting!!!! Their little hammock baby would be arriving in a few short months. That's right, y'all - the first GrandDunkel is on the way!

 

MEANWHILE, AT THE BIG HOUSE....

 

Abigail was focusing on her music. With so many babies, weddings, and teenagers, Cathy and Wilbur were overwhelmed, and they finally agreed to let Abigail get... A JOB! A very appropriate and respectable job for a young lady: Abigail was hired by different churches to play the piano, and she gave music lessons to children on the side. But secretly she was working hard to improve her skills and dreaming of more...

 

Andrew was also dreaming of more. His special friendship with Cara was progressing marvelously, and he was anxious to make it an official courtship, but both sets of parents prayed on it and received a message from the Lord that they were to wait till their 18th birthdays. Meanwhile, they engaged in some chaste, godly, and all-American activities together.

 

Twins Aimee Joy and Anna Grace celebrated their 18th birthdays soon after Adam's wedding. They were both very striking, yet modest, young ladies. Wilbur and Cathy prayed fervently that God would bless them each with a godly man ASAP because they were running out of space in the house and wanted to keep having babies young marriage is such a beautiful testimony.

 

"Bye, assholes!" Abigail muttered under her breath as she jumped into the passenger seat. Alas, she was not leaving for good, but at least she got a nice break from the insanity every day at work.

 

What's this? Why yes! Sadly, so sadly, Cathy finally entered that season of life where she was no longer able to conceive. The Lord saw fit to close her womb. But - joy of joys! - the Lord also saw fit to bless Cathy and Wilbur with an adopted child! Here comes little Alexander Dunkel!

(Yep. I'm not treating adoption like 'try for baby' - I'm not going to make them adopt a kid every single day because, uh, yeah - but whenever Wilbur rolls that 'have a baby' want, I'm sending him straight to the phone to call the adoption agency.)

 

Now I understand why the Christian Sparkles Adoption Agency let these people adopt. The social worker dumped Alexander on the ground right next to the pond and then left.

 

Abigail arrived home that day to yet another younger sibling, but this time she was smiling because... she got a promotion! Way to go, Abigail!

 

Dudes, I was wrong. It wasn't Avalee thinking special thoughts about Mehrissa's younger brother, it was Adalyn, her twin sister. Could another special friendship be brewing? I see many chaperoned conversations in these two's future! His name is Hobart Miceli, by the way.

 

Fire!!! It took the fireWOMAN *fundie side-eye* like an hour to get in the door to put it out, because all 5000 of the Dunkels were blocking it as they stood there panicking and waving their arms. It's a miracle no one died!

 

"Happy Birthday to our LAST child that Cathy will ever deliver, unless the Lord miraculously opens her womb again, which she secretly prays for every night - Aaron Dunkel!"

 

Alizah also grew into a child at this time. Unfortunately she was traumatized after experiencing the fire that almost killed her entire family but miraculously left the house undamaged and caused no injuries, and she was prone to tantrums. Alizah better get her act together or her parents might ship her off to Christian Maidens Boot Camp!

 

Back at Adam and Mehrissa's, it was time for the blessed birth of the first sweet GrandDunkel!

 

Benjamin Dunkel was born via an uncomplicated, unassisted, Christ-like homebirth, weighing 9lbs 10oz. Mehrissa looks like she might be regretting her life choices. Too late to back out now!

 

A couple days later, Mehrissa and Adam went to visit Adam's family to introduce everyone to their precious baby boy. They also engaged in a lot of PDA to let their siblings know just how AMAZING married life was! (Just pretend the baby is inside with his grandparents - apparently you can't bring babies to visit on The Sims 2!)

 

It wasn't long before Wilbur and Cathy welcomed their 14th child, and 2nd precious adopted addition, daughter Addyson Dunkel! (I'm not sure why the social worker is running and looks scared. I'm starting to suspect that these babies are kidnapped or something.)

 

And don't worry, Cathy - Adam and Mehrissa are doing everything they can to make up for your barren womb! That's right, little Benjamin Dunkel is going to be a big brother before he can even say the word, "Help!"