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Buffy's Commentary

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When I grow up...

HerNameIsBuffy

1,524 views

As a mental exercise I shook off the constraints of actual education, skill, experience...you know, reality...and asked myself what I REALLY want to do for a living:

  • SAHCryptozologist - I would look for apocryphal creatures, but within the confines of my house and the internet.  So Nessie shows up in my utility sink I'm on it.
  • forensic anthropologist (and work with Sue Black)
  • genius programmer
  • Technical writer - only if it paid really well and I never had to leave my house.  I want to be Monk's brother Ambrose.  But with a clean house...and I wasn't named after a turtle.
  • Dave Barry (1980s-90s era)
  • IT Ninja - swoop in when all the users are snug in their beds and fix all their issues in the black of night...communicating only through helpdesk tickets and sticky notes.  They wouldn't know my name, or what I looked like...but words of my great acts would spread until the occupation of minstrel was revived just to sing my praises.
  • Statistician/Analyst (for weird and interesting data sets)
  • criminal profiler for historical cases (no in person criminals for me, thanks)
  • QA Evangelist - maybe start by traveling the country side preaching the word of controlled documents, and then once I had a following preaching on some obscure cable channel about the healing power of FEMCA (failure effect mode criticality analysis) and the 10th circle of hell which is filled with 8D reports submitted by people who don't understand root cause.
  • Professional FJer - if I could hang out here for a living that would be awesome.  For me.  And whomever wins the forum pool of how long it takes people to start a petition to tell me to STFU.

Of the the above 5 aren't real jobs, two of which even if they were I don't have the skills.  Of the 5 real jobs I have the skills for exactly none of them.  

I need a time machine...I've got some life choices I need a do-over on.  Had I made different choices at certain critical moments I'd be a world renowned SAHC by now and your children's children would read about me in their history books.

Some advice for the kids out there...

Spoiler

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  • Upvote 5


3 Comments


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Grimalkin

Posted

SAHCryptolozologost looks like a good choice! 

I wonder if I could put Pokemon go on my résumé?

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catlady

Posted

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 hour ago, catlady said:

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

Me too!  that's going on my list!

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  • Posts

    • AussieKrissy

      Posted

      2 hours ago, OldFadedStar said:

      SOTDRT strikes again...

      C8B2B364-C6FB-4A8B-91A5-D5A293479D2A.jpeg

      I’m glad you have a screen shot. I bet this gets changed soon... fucking idiot. 

    • AussieKrissy

      Posted

      1 hour ago, marmalade said:

      Deena Dillard has covid. Remember, she's about six months pregnant.

      I hope she hasn’t been near Cathy 

      • Upvote 1
    • marmalade

      Posted

      Deena Dillard has covid. Remember, she's about six months pregnant.

      • Upvote 1
    • marmalade

      Posted

      Easy call. She never goes radio silent for that long.

    • Natalie22

      Posted

      I get the idea behind they both need to respect each other's boundaries, but just remember that Ethan and Olivia are like 22 and got married at 20.  Expecting two 20 year olds with that amount of trauma and sheltering and lack of life experience to be equal at setting boundaries with two people in their 40s is just unfair.  I often work with students who are about 10 years younger than I am, but they're all adults.  I still realize my life experience and understanding how to navigate work situations is usually much more advanced than theirs.  I try to be compassionate and patient and also explain to them explicitly how things usually work and ideas of how to navigate our relationship.  I do this not because I think they're dumb or not capable, but that I understand that I have a huge advantage over them and it is unfair to just expect them to figure it out on their own (especially if you want them to figure it out 'correctly' and/or quickly).  That two parents are unable to do the same for their child is silly.

      • Upvote 1


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