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Buffy's Commentary

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When I grow up...

HerNameIsBuffy

1,528 views

As a mental exercise I shook off the constraints of actual education, skill, experience...you know, reality...and asked myself what I REALLY want to do for a living:

  • SAHCryptozologist - I would look for apocryphal creatures, but within the confines of my house and the internet.  So Nessie shows up in my utility sink I'm on it.
  • forensic anthropologist (and work with Sue Black)
  • genius programmer
  • Technical writer - only if it paid really well and I never had to leave my house.  I want to be Monk's brother Ambrose.  But with a clean house...and I wasn't named after a turtle.
  • Dave Barry (1980s-90s era)
  • IT Ninja - swoop in when all the users are snug in their beds and fix all their issues in the black of night...communicating only through helpdesk tickets and sticky notes.  They wouldn't know my name, or what I looked like...but words of my great acts would spread until the occupation of minstrel was revived just to sing my praises.
  • Statistician/Analyst (for weird and interesting data sets)
  • criminal profiler for historical cases (no in person criminals for me, thanks)
  • QA Evangelist - maybe start by traveling the country side preaching the word of controlled documents, and then once I had a following preaching on some obscure cable channel about the healing power of FEMCA (failure effect mode criticality analysis) and the 10th circle of hell which is filled with 8D reports submitted by people who don't understand root cause.
  • Professional FJer - if I could hang out here for a living that would be awesome.  For me.  And whomever wins the forum pool of how long it takes people to start a petition to tell me to STFU.

Of the the above 5 aren't real jobs, two of which even if they were I don't have the skills.  Of the 5 real jobs I have the skills for exactly none of them.  

I need a time machine...I've got some life choices I need a do-over on.  Had I made different choices at certain critical moments I'd be a world renowned SAHC by now and your children's children would read about me in their history books.

Some advice for the kids out there...

Spoiler

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  • Upvote 5


3 Comments


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Grimalkin

Posted

SAHCryptolozologost looks like a good choice! 

I wonder if I could put Pokemon go on my résumé?

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catlady

Posted

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 hour ago, catlady said:

I used to want to be a professional book-reader.....I never did figure out how or why anyone would pay me to read books of my choosing.

Me too!  that's going on my list!

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  • Posts

    • ElleHouston

      Posted

    • ChadelBaj

      Posted

      Well look what I found 👀

      For clarification: this is public info, just a google search away. 

      25A5A91F-12DB-443E-AA7E-75479B739FB4.jpeg

      • Upvote 1
      • Thank You 2
    • Howl

      Posted

      16 hours ago, Gothard is a perv said:

      So from all the comments here I'm guessing you would all advise that I NOT ask Elizabeth if my Dad can call her Dad and arrange a family day trip to the shoot range ? 

      No, the opposite! I would strongly encourage you to attempt this or at least apply for a job at T Rex arms, followed up by an exposé or tell all. 

    • Howl

      Posted

      1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

      Man Bun has never seemed to me like he understands anything about finances except how to spend other people's money.

      Insightful and 100% accurate. 

      FF on the other hand...I can see FF being a successful real estate agent, perhaps, or a house flipper, or a fashion career path. 

      I think she's smart. This is a woman with a high school degree, but she writes quite well.  No misspellings, typos, grammatical errors. 

      Being a fashion blogger/influencer seems easy, but it's a business -- in this instance she's selling her image, fashion, a lifestyle, mom-ing and what not, working to get  sponsors, photographers, modelling gigs, curating social media, all while raising a bazillion kids.  Maybe with financial and geographical stability in her life and kids in public school, she can rev her Instagram back up and start pulling in $$$ on the account. 

      Instagram is made for what she does; the web site appears to have been neglected for awhile. 

       

       

       

    • patsymae

      Posted

      On 1/21/2021 at 2:46 PM, Mama Mia said:

      Ummm...... I have 9 grandkids and I’m still in my 50’s. And the oldest of them are almost in their teens , and my youngest child is 30. 
       

      On the other hand I have a sister-in-law who had a surprise baby at 50 ish. 
       

      There’s a big range in ages people give birth. 

      This. My first grandson's other grandma was 38 when he was born. My aunt had her last child at 48, and that was back in the day before tech interventions were even thought of. My youngest sister is two years older than my oldest niece. In my baby boomer cohort of friends, my oldest grandchild is 26, one friend is already a great grandma and she is younger than me, another friend's first grandchild just turned 1 and another's daughter is in her 30s weighing whether to have a child (given the current state of the world). I worked with. woman who had her first child at 13 and another who was still having regular periods, and thus could get pregnant, at 55. It's all over the map.

      • Upvote 1


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