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Trynn's Parodies

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More Moody Paradies (parodies? How do you spell that anyway?)


Trynn

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This is taken from one of our favorite Scenes in Sarah Maxwell's Moody Book 1: Summer with the Moodys. This is the scene where the Moody family is entertaining Mrs. Clifton, hearing all about her missionary years. I decided to write the scene from Mrs. Clifton's point of view. Enjoy.

 

….... It took about 20 minutes for the Moodys to arrive with Mrs. Clifton at the Moody's house.

 

As they pulled into the driveway, Mrs. Clifton uttered a cry of surprise. “Oh,” she said, taken aback. There was a large colorful sign above the garage doors that read, “Welcome, Mrs. Clifton!” All across the lawn were several balloons drifting lazily in the breeze. The rest of the moody family was waiting on the porch, waving at her like smiling robots.

 

Mrs. Clifton, not knowing what else to say, forced a polite smile and said, “You are all too kind..... thank you...”

 

Baddie squeezed Mrs. Clifton's hands. “I weally like you!”

 

Mrs. Clifton smiled back at the child. Secretly, Baddie Doody was her favorite, too. The 4 year old child was the only likeable Doody she'd ever met.

 

“Let's come into the house,” suggested Howdy Doody (dad). “We'll go straight to the dining room.”

 

What an odd thing to say, thought Mrs. Clifton, does the front door lead directly to the dining room? Do I not have to go through the hall first? Or is it really that important that we all go straight to the dining room without going anywhere else?

 

Her patience with the Doodys was wearing thin, but, being a bit more timid, she slipped off her shoes and followed them slowly into the house. Out of the corner of her eye, Mrs. Clifton noticed that Trudy and Bitch Doody (Mollie and Mitch) slipped out the back door.

 

“It smells wonderful,” she said, trying to make polite conversation. “I have missed home cooked meals.” Which I could be enjoying with my friend Maude, if I could've figure out how to get out of this without being rude.

 

Doodly Doody (Mom) smiled. “I only wish I had thought of the idea sooner!”

Mrs. Clifton made it to the table, and before she sat down, Howdy said, “The children have a surprise for you. They'd like you to look out the window.”

 

Mrs. Clifton looked towards the window, a slight twinge of fear in her chest. More balloons? Her eyes caught sight of Honey and her stomach sank. “Honey!” She exclaimed. They got Honey. I thought I had Maude looking in on her!

 

Mrs. Clifton had heard that, in her absence, the Moodys hardly every took care of Honey, leaving her alone a lot, only visiting her once or twice a day.

 

“I have missed her so much...” Mrs. Clifton said as she used her cane to step out onto the back porch. “Thank you....”

 

Honey bounded over, her tail wagging furiously as she alternated between barking and squeaking. Mrs. Clifton rubbed and patted Honey, and felt her stomach unknot. Having Honey with her made her feel so much better already.

 

Bollie set before Mrs. Clifton a big bright red plate with “You are Special!” Printed on it in bold capital letters with lots of exclamation points. “How nice,” said Mrs. Clifton, because she didn't know what else to say.

 

Howdy Doody prayed over the food, thanking Jesus that Mrs. Clifton could come over.

The food was passed around. Mrs. Clifton noticed that the children only took one of everything, and didn't seem to have very much food on their plates. One hamburger, one spoonful of baked beans, one serving of salad. Not wanting to be rude, she didn't take much, either. If the family was so poor they had to ration food like this, she didn't want to be the one to eat it from them.

 

Doodly Doody (mom) turned to Mr. Clifton. “We realized we don't know much about your background. Would you be willing to tell us a little about your earlier years?”

My what? Mrs. Clifton stared for a few seconds as Doodly, who was sitting forward with an eager look on her face. The children had the same expressions on their face, like they were waiting for her to speak.

 

Suddenly, Mrs. Clifton had had enough. This family had been outright neglectful of her dog, and they'd tried to corral her for a while to try and convert her to their weird ways of thinking. Mrs. Clifton was a Christian herself, but she felt that their behavior had been most unchristlike as of late. It was time to stop being a doormat and stand up for herself.... Lord, forgive me.

“Sure.” Mrs. Clifton folded her napkin and set it down by her plate. She let her eyes take on what she hoped was a look of fondly remembering, but looked to the Doody family like more of a dreamy look.

 

“Harry,” she said. “That's where I'll start. Harry was my wonderful, godly husband. He died 15 years ago. I wish you could have met him.”

 

Mrs. Clifton risked a glance at the Doody family to see if she had overdone it with the “wonderful, godly husband” part. But they were all sitting around the table staring at her, eating up every word. Mrs. Clifton pressed on.

 

“Shortly after Harry and I married,” this part was definitely an exaggeration. She and Harry had lived together, but they'd split up shortly thereafter, when it was discovered that Harry was having an affair. “We decided the Lord had called us to be missionaries in.... Indonesia.So we moved there 2 years after we were married. We didn't have any children, but I learned to trust the Lord even more, even though it was difficult.”

 

Mrs. Clifton paused as she took a bite of her hamburger. So far the Doody family had done nothing but blink and stare. Max and Bitch gave each other quick looks. Mrs. Clifton couldn't tell if they were impressed that she had been a missionary, or had caught on that she was messing with their minds. The kids robotically ate their burgers as they watched Mrs. Clifton.

 

It was kind of creepy.

 

“Our vision was to..... translate, yes, translate the New Testament for... for a tribe. One of the many tribes of Indonesia. It took 20 years of hard work, but with the Lord's help and blessing, we were bale to finish the translation. We encountered many obstacles, but God's grace was sufficient.”

 

Mrs. Clifton took a bite of beans took herself from laughing. She hoped like hell that the Doodys wouldn't ask her which tribe or which language she'd been translating the bible for and into. Then she wondered if they would even know she was making up the answers. Juding from the looks of awe on their face, probably not.

 

“I helped the village women learn many different things. I taught them....” They'll never believe this one Mrs. Clifton thought as she suppressed a grin. “I taught them ways to clean better, to wash their clothes with soap, to make healthy meals so they could get proper nutrition, and most importantly, to know Jesus.”

 

No way in hell they believe that people in Indonesia don't have soap. They'll call me out on this for sure....

 

But the Doodys were nodding eager, encouraging her to continue. Mrs. Clifton didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This ruse was funny, but it was also really sad. She caught herself starting to feel sorry for them. Then she remembered Honey, and her resolve tightened. She choked down her laughter and continued.

 

“Many people from the village were saved; Harry and I estimated about two thirds of the population, which was almost... 200 people. Some of the new converts even became preachers and went out to other villages to share the gospel!”

 

Howdy Doody placed another spoonful of baked beans on his plate while the children quietly picked at their food. “This is great!” He exclaimed. “We knew you loved Jesus, but we had no idea that you were a missionary. Please, after you've eaten some more, we'd like to hear the rest of your story.”

 

Mrs. Clifton bristled Don't tell me what to eat and when, Mr. Doody. I'm not your poor starving children. She took a bite of her burger and chewed slowly, trying to control her anger. And I can't believe you're swallowing this!

 

“After we were done translation, we went to another village and translated a New Testament into their language. This one only took 12 years.”
 

Trudy Doody stared at Mrs. Clifton, slack jawed.

 

“About this time,” Mrs. Clifton continued, “Harry got very sick. By the time we realized we needed to go back to the States for medical care, it was too late. Jesus took him home. My heart was broken, but because I knew Harry was in heaven, a place where he would know only joy and gladness. I decided to come back to the States, and the church was kind enough to purchase a home for me.”

 

Ok, seriously? You're believing this? The local church is way too poor to afford such a thing. How can you not know this?

 

“I'm not often able to go to Sunday services due to my health, which the doctors think is related to the...” quick, what's a disease in the mission field that's potentially fatal but not too serious?

 

“Malaria. The Malaria I contracted many years ago. Sometimes a member will come to pick me up, which is nice.”

 

The Doody family continued to stare at Mrs. Clifton, until Mom said, “Oh Mrs. Clifton! That was such an amazing story. I can see Jesus' love shining right through you. What a wonderful ministry you and your husband had and still do! Do you have contact with the tribes?”

 

“Yes,” Mrs. Clifton replied, “with the first tribe we ministered to. I receive letters occasionally from them. With the second village I have some missionary friends who live near it, and they send me updates every now and then.” She pressed a hand to her side. Surely she had broken at least 2 ribs by now trying not to laugh.

 

The Doody family nodded politely. Everyone was finished eating, so they all dragged Mrs. Clifton into the living room for bible time. They told Mrs. Clifton she was to sit in the rocking chair, which was only slightly padded. Honey bounded into the living room and settle comfortably at Mrs. Clifton's feet.

 

The Doody family will believe anything, Mrs. Clifton thought. I wonder what outrageous thing I could convince them of next?

 

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