Every now and then I like geeking out on weird stuff. Today's topic: soil science. I mean it has to be useful right? It can't make me much more garden-crunchy than I am. And at least I now I can claim "but it's scientific, I heard it from profs!"

Cover crops are apparently awesome. Yay me! I do that. Or at least I try. Someone stole all my cover during the winter. So yeah, last year it didn't work. This year though! I have seeds, many seeds because COVER CROPS!!! (I use bee friendly ones, because HAPPY bees are cool). Seriously there is nothing cooler than going outside and playing "spot the different bees" while gardening. We had a rare one last year, but I didn't get a photo. This year maybe I'll try. Most are big fluffy bees, it's cool.

Apparently there was a lab kit for girls back in the day. The science guy who used this pic needed his helpmeet to make his powerpoint for him.

I'm a bit jealous. Well not of the terrible pink, but SCIENCE KITS!!!! I would love to be doing chemical analyze on my garden soil. I would end up with pretty graphs... I guess I should add this to my Christmas wishlist. I want a broadfork. It's on my b-day wishlist. The last two years it has been on my xmas list but that didn't work.
 

Don't use pesticides. That nukes your soil and all the good guys. The bad guys will win. Don't, just don't. I wonder if essential oils work well in the garden

Apparently plant roots put cakes and cookies into the garden. Apparently the good guys grow fatter from this than the bad guys. Cool!

Principle: healthy plants need aerobic stuff. Anaerobic is bad folks: it will make baaaad sulfur gas.

Compost isn't about the 'fertilizer'. It's the organisms. You need to maintain the good organisms in your soil. Apparently having your soil healthy makes stuff biodegrade within a month. oops. I guess I need more proper compost.
Don't use the crappy fertilizers. They don't stick like glue; make your soil happy with organisms, stop destroying it and you'll have a happy garden. Apparently all ground has enough minerals for billions of years. Why do you get crappy soil? because someone destroyed the mechanism! bad people, bad. Go the microorganisms!

See, Crunchy gardening is far superior. Screw mommy wars. We need gardening wars!!!

Make tea for your plants! do it, apparently it's even better than audio books.  Might have to do some testing with that one. Should I make my veggies learn how to worry less? or should they learn about octopi? Or listen to Shakespeare? Oooh or even better, they can listen to lectures about permaculture. Or about soil science...

Protozoa are awesome. They shit food onto your plants' roots. Apparently it's just that simple. Don't make it complicated. It's eating and shitting and eating and shitting and eating and ... get the picture? Apparently if this happens you have lazy plants because they just sit there and eat. Apparently it makes them happy and plentiful though.
How do you keep balance? predators! Which means eat the birds too folks (f'n pigeons! last year they ate soo many of my cabbages. assholes.) and the moles! Wait, people don't eat moles do they? Wait, they said I need mice... Yay I have some. They eat the pumpkin seeds in the compost heap. They also on occasion climb up the sunflowers and steal the seeds.
Apparently having good soil biology will mean less work. Yay! Wait, she's suggesting you let others do the work for you with no pay, until their death! Slavery of bacteria, fungi, protozoa, nematodes, arthropods, birds, moles, mice and spiders apparently will let you just have to sow seeds and harvest. Apparently they do it happily thought, does that count for anything?
If you have pests/bugs/bad guys, it's mother natures message. Apparently she talks to you just like God talks to the fundies. Pay attention and take notes. Mother Nature doesn't need us, we need her.
 

"Our charge as human beings, is not to extract, it's not to destroy, it is to maintain natural interactions"

Erosion is because you damage your soil. Don't be erosive, keep your soil healthy. You should be able to see the structure with your own eyes.

Supplements are not the way to become healthy. Eat food. It is "the" medicine. But only if you have happy organisms in your food. Those lil tiny beasties will make your food better because they get the shit-nutrients into your food.

She said "look at your own biology". hahahahhaahahaha. that part of my mind that is in the gutter found that amusing.

And in between soils science I'm doing accounting shit. I  don't want to have to memorize cost numbers. argh I suck at that stuff. At least I finally figured out what I was doing. And have done stuff. I have a pretty spreadsheet now. it works. Yay!

I should have become an ag bio scientist. This shit is awesomely fun and entertaining. Why did I not realize this 14 years ago?!?

Apparently I still have an hour to go... But I'll stop my blog here because well I think I've written enough.