I know nothing about plants except that they hate me. Really you could not find someone with less knowledge on any topic. Go ahead and try...I'll wait.
But the tldr is when I was a kid we had a lilac bush and I loved it - every time I see one it takes me to the best parts of my childhood. Every house I've lived in I've intended to plant one or two in memory of my parents and never did. Lazy...that's why...do I need to reexamine this now?
Anyway I just ordered two. Yep - buying plants in the mail seems stupid even to me, but the alternative was shopping on a weekend and I was already comfy so that wasn't going to happen.
And did you know they have a pink variety? Not just pink - the perfect shade of pink.
They grow to 4-6' and 4-5' ...the other way (diameter? circumference? Idk) I know they work well in our environment since the suburbs are full of them. How hard can it be? Assign someone (not me) to dig a hole, plant them, wait for them to die, right? I don't expect this to go well but it's the most effort I've put into any gardening thing ever so points for that.
If we mess this up plan B is seeing if Michael's has some of the silk variety and I'm really good at those.
The downside of this little project? Looking at plant stuff got Mr. Buffy wanting to plant something in this little like 3' x 3.5' area in front of the garage between the driveway and the porch. There were some orange flowers there last year but then has to be weeded all the time and I hate orange. If you're facing the house this little plot of dirt is sided by the garage at the far side, walkway to porch on near side, driveway to right, porch to left. It's too small for a bush and flowers are a pain in the ass since I hate gardening and no one else will weed without my nagging.
He wants some kind of flower or growing thing. I say we put some kind of paving stones on it, and call it a day. If he needs decorative we can commission a statue and plunk it there.
At least my thing won't require ongoing maintenance. His plan will have this summer a repeat of last where I'm pulling weeds when I get home from work and swearing quietly under my breath at that my family can walk past stuff that needs doing and not even see it.
And anger weeding without gloves is dangerous...why do weeds have those little sticker things on them? Ouch! Seriously - what purpose do those serve?
And while I'm on the subject of selective blindness of my people...thank you Chicago Tribune for deciding to start delivering a free paper for some dumb-ass reason. My family is apparently all color blind to the particular blue hue of the plastic wrapping so I need to pick it up, divest it from his plastic, toss the paper in the recycling bin.
Give it up, Trib. Your only use is for packing breakables when moving and since we can buy blank newsprint rolls we don't even need you for that. You've been replaced by the internet...I'm sure that hurts but littering my driveway and porch with your printed nonsense isn't going to be your comeback.
It's not going to happen.