Do you own a deep fat fryer?

If so, you could have a weekly chips and fish supper, served in free newspaper, with no dishes to wash afterwards! You will die sooner, but much much happier. No Greater Joy! And no plumbing line needed to persuade your entire family to take a nap after their incapacitatingly heavy dinner.

I even found a photo of chips and fish with ketchup for you (although I don't approve of this combo). 

Also, newspaper is good as a mulch in a dry summer. Dig it into your soil and it will help with water retention for your new pink lilac friend.

(I won't upset you further today by mentioning that pink and lilac are different colours and are also different common names for plants of entirely different sizes.  I will pray for you, instead). 

In other news, I took the IBLP spiritual gifts test again today and this time, my top three gifts are: Irreverence, Irrelevance and Irrefutibility.  Please consider me to be always at your service, as the Lord is willing.

5 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

Do you own a deep fat fryer?

If so, you could have a weekly chips and fish supper, served in free newspaper, with no dishes to wash afterwards! You will die sooner, but much much happier. No Greater Joy! And no plumbing line needed to persuade your entire family to take a nap after their incapacitatingly heavy dinner.

I even found a photo of chips and fish with ketchup for you (although I don't approve of this combo). 

Also, newspaper is good as a mulch in a dry summer. Dig it into your soil and it will help with water retention for your new pink lilac friend.

(I won't upset you further today by mentioning that pink and lilac are different colours and are also different common names for plants of entirely different sizes.  I will pray for you, instead). 

In other news, I took the IBLP spiritual gifts test again today and this time, my top three gifts are: Irreverence, Irrelevance and Irrefutibility.  Please consider me to be always at your service, as the Lord is willing.

I agree it's one of the few things I'd leave the ketchup off.  Vinegar though - yes.  And some tartar sauce would be okay. 

The fish sauce of my childhood which I may or may not have made last night for the awful fishsticks Mr. Buffy made for dinner...I won't put the secret family recipe here but in Step Brothers they call it Fancy Sauce (although I'm sure they use regular mayo and not Miracle Whip as nature intended.)

And I know lilac and pink are different colors, but this kind of lilac is pink?

http://www.michiganbulb.com/product/Josee_Reblooming_Lilac_Hedge/sun-plants

It's slightly smaller than the regular dwarf lilac of the traditional purple.   I mean black cows aren't really black because root beer is brown. You should pray for me as I'm very confused.

And it's named Josee...like a misspelled Duggar.  

We have two absolutely gorgeous...bushes?  They are crazy tall - like 12+ feet, but not a solid trunk like a tree so that's like a giant bush?  Anyway the prettiest blue and purple flowers and I thought I found the name of it the other day, but I was wrong so as soon as they bloom the mission will be to find out what they are.  

It's like the plant thing is sucking me in and I don't like it.  

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

It's like the plant thing is sucking me in and I don't like it.  

I know exactly what should go in that 3 x 3 corner.  We'll make a gardener out of you yet -- you just have to find your niche...

21 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

Do you own a deep fat fryer?

If so, you could have a weekly chips and fish supper, served in free newspaper, with no dishes to wash afterwards! You will die sooner, but much much happier. No Greater Joy! And no plumbing line needed to persuade your entire family to take a nap after their incapacitatingly heavy dinner.

I even found a photo of chips and fish with ketchup for you (although I don't approve of this combo).

This is the worst best ever use for extra newspaper!

I found the bushes we already have - I was right the first time.

We have two of these - one on either side of the patio. But our are tall - they are each about 12'.   They are called Rose of Sharon the blue chiffon variety (although there is def a mix of blue and purple flowers.)

19 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

I know exactly what should go in that 3 x 3 corner.  We'll make a gardener out of you yet -- you just have to find your niche...

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This is the worst best ever use for extra newspaper!

LOL!  Loves!  But...lot of work to maintain.  I have a feeling she'd end up unrecognizable after the first pruning.

Rose of Sharon and now this song is in my head...sorry for the ear worm.  It will never leave.  

4 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I have a feeling she'd end up unrecognizable after the first pruning.

get a silk version

@HerNameIsBuffy Have you considered pink heather? It should provide weed suppression after a while if you have a creeping one. And it must be nearly the right shade of pink.

2 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

@HerNameIsBuffy Have you considered pink heather? It should provide weed suppression after a while if you have a creeping one. And it must be nearly the right shade of pink.

Doesn't that spread out, though?  the little patch is only 3 x 3.5 feet approximately.  

Please remember that this is an international forum. I am obviously more mature than the average British snarker, but some readers may be sat behind their screens sniggering at you all holding a public discussion about pruning your, ahem... bush.

I will pray for you. 

Probably. I'm no good with sizes. You can probably cut it into submission.

I need a heather growing guinea pig so I know if I can utilize it in my garden. 

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Doesn't that spread out, though?  the little patch is only 3 x 3.5 feet approximately.  

This is the little patch - sometimes those things have orange flowers.

Don't stalk me.

4 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

Please remember that this is an international forum. I am obviously more mature than the average British snarker, but some readers may be sat behind their screens sniggering at you all holding a public discussion about pruning your, ahem... bush.

I will pray for you. 

That's an american thing to...but anyone of that frame of mind wouldn't be wasting time reading my nonsense when there is a whole internet out there.

I was teasing. And my inner teenage boy was sniggering at "bush".

If I ever stalk you and send you creepy gifts in the mail, you will get advance notice from the mail delivery people, I am sure.  Fish and chips smell bad when they have been in a jiffy bag and a UPS van for any length of time. 

(Ask LaPapessa after hers arrive to her imaginary Roman villa later this week...  )

Heather needs good acid soil.  It does not spread uncontrollably. It is kind of ugly on its own, once it is "spent" for the season though. I would tend to put it in a mixed border.

I would put a strong pink coloured fuschia there, myself.  From the photo, it looks very Homes and Gardens, as if there is an unwritten "NO WEEDS PLEASE" sign at the front gate.

Thanks Buffy! You just inspired me to take on another project this summer. This one will be offline.

I think I'll plant flowers. I've never done it before, but I realize now that I can do some sort of blue/orange combo and annoy my cohabitant (who is a Green Bay fan.) He may or may not notice. (He'll notice.) I've never grown flowers before. I usually just throw some potatoes in the ground and some other vegetables, forget about them, and come back in the fall to tons of potatoes and not much else. 

Fish & chips are the best but you have to serve with vinegar and/or mayo. 

I use the free papers to put on the floor under the bird. He don't really aim for the paper though. 

@blessalessi! What a mind! Now I will have to pray for you!! 

@HerNameIsBuffy, how did horticulture give you The Grapes of Wrath as an earworm? (The video was cute, but it's a little weird to see it without hearing Pa, Ma, Tom, and Rosie's voices.) 

Our lilac bush was free--a volunteer plant from a relative's house. It's done blooming, but I think the flowers were purplish--lilac colored, I suppose. 

6 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

I was teasing. And my inner teenage boy was sniggering at "bush".

If I ever stalk you and send you creepy gifts in the mail, you will get advance notice from the mail delivery people, I am sure.  Fish and chips smell bad when they have been in a jiffy bag and a UPS van for any length of time. 

(Ask LaPapessa after hers arrive to her imaginary Roman villa later this week...  )

Heather needs good acid soil.  It does not spread uncontrollably. It is kind of ugly on its own, once it is "spent" for the season though. I would tend to put it in a mixed border.

I would put a strong pink coloured fuschia there, myself.  From the photo, it looks very Homes and Gardens, as if there is an unwritten "NO WEEDS PLEASE" sign at the front gate.

LOL!  Then that is the best photo that will ever be taken of my house since no other part of it screams Homes and Gardens at all.  

I've come to terms with the fact that the whole "dream home" thing will never happen for me.  Like millions of other people it's just about settling for something we can reasonably afford in an area where we need to stay due to our jobs.  

In our case that means a dated split foyer which looks like every third dated split foyer in the subdivision.  (They used 3 basic models for the neighborhood - the epitome of cookie cutter architecture.  Houses here weren't built for character.)

Funny thing is, I like our house.  When I was a kid my aunt and uncle had a similar layout and I looooved their house...was so jealous of my cousins because of their foyer.  When we did our first walk through here it slammed me back to that and it made me happy.  I know that everything you read is that they are less expensive because no one wants them - the stairs are a pain in the ass...difficult for people with mobility issues, etc.  So to the people who know the housing market they scream "as much space as you can get per dollar because most people would rather have Carol Brady's kitchen than one of these."  

But it is what it is...and while the lot is too narrow and the stairs are a pain in the ass sometimes...and the far corner of the backyard floods so much I'm waiting for Michael Phelps to come and take a swim after a rain...and the master bath was designed by Satan...and there is something wrong with the utility sink so we need to call a plumber...and the garage door opener spring thing broke and my husband has to burn a day from work to get the guy out...it's the best we can do so I just focus on what I love and try not to think about what I can't have.   

I'm getting very zen in my old age.

19 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Thanks Buffy! You just inspired me to take on another project this summer. This one will be offline.

I think I'll plant flowers. I've never done it before, but I realize now that I can do some sort of blue/orange combo and annoy my cohabitant (who is a Green Bay fan.) He may or may not notice. (He'll notice.) I've never grown flowers before. I usually just throw some potatoes in the ground and some other vegetables, forget about them, and come back in the fall to tons of potatoes and not much else. 

Fish & chips are the best but you have to serve with vinegar and/or mayo. 

I use the free papers to put on the floor under the bird. He don't really aim for the paper though. 

He will totally notice - if you come home to find your house covered in cheese you will know he's been displeased.

Your house sounds delightful!

Though, tbh, you all live in versions of the Max compound houses in my head, or in apartments like the ones in Friends, because that is the entirety of my experience.

Ooh, no, there are the ones in Orphan Black too, because Canada is in America really, right?

Yeah, I could see you in a house like Alison's in Orphan Black, with a dedicated craft room, and a million organised cupboards.

5 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

it's the best we can do so I just focus on what I love and try not to think about what I can't have.   

Remember, we don't own stuff, stuff owns us.

9 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

Your house sounds delightful!

Though, tbh, you all live in versions of the Max compound houses in my head, or in apartments like the ones in Friends, because that is the entirety of my experience.

Ooh, no, there are the ones in Orphan Black too, because Canada is in America really, right?

Yeah, I could see you in a house like Alison's in Orphan Black, with a dedicated craft room, and a million organised cupboards.

 

Remember, we don't own stuff, stuff owns us.

I do not craft.  Any attempt looks like it was made by a 5 year old...and that's probably being generous!

I can cross stitch - but if I did something productive like that with my time you guys would miss me too much.  Right?  

My biggest quibble with Friends was that for someone as OCD as Monica was portrayed to me that kitchen was a nightmare.  The open cabinets and food stuffs stored on shelves and counters...dust magnets and in a kitchen nothing protecting the stuff from the grease mist from frying.  No way Monica would have had time for a job, much less hijinks with her friends, since she'd have spent all her time wiping all that crap down.

And I actually agree with the stuff part - it's not material stuff I want (except for the faucet attachment I'm going to blog about later -  oooooh stay tuned!) but space.  A little land so I don't have to pretend to be on a call as I walk into the house to avoid saying hello to the neighbors.

Oh, and a laundry chute.  Haven't had one since my childhood home, but finding out that our current house used to have one but was sacrificed to put in the bathroom from hell...it haunts me.

A laundry chute?! That just sounds like it would be a terrible thing to get stuck in. Potentially. On tequila slammer night!

Monica's apartment bothered me for opposite reasons.  Messy people need more doors to close, in order to hide some of the mess.  I liked Monica's secret Crap Cupboard, but the open plan-ness. Just, no. 

2 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

A laundry chute?! That just sounds like it would be a terrible thing to get stuck in. Potentially. On tequila slammer night!

Or as a little kid with an older brother...yeah, but I survived.  

And ftr all British people live in Jean and Lionel's house on as Time Goes By...with the tiny little fridge and the fabulous yard.  Or garden, as you people call them, right?  

50 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@blessalessi! What a mind! Now I will have to pray for you!! 

@HerNameIsBuffy, how did horticulture give you The Grapes of Wrath as an earworm? (The video was cute, but it's a little weird to see it without hearing Pa, Ma, Tom, and Rosie's voices.) 

Our lilac bush was free--a volunteer plant from a relative's house. It's done blooming, but I think the flowers were purplish--lilac colored, I suppose. 

I didn't realize that was an instrumental....who needs an instrumental of THAT song? Is that the karaoke favorite now?  

Because those are Rose of Sharon bushes...and the girl in the Grapes of Wrath was named Rose of Sharon after those flowers.  So Grapes of Wrath > Veggie tales....we never take a bath!

5 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 A little land so I don't have to pretend to be on a call as I walk into the house to avoid saying hello to the neighbors.

You need to move to Britain.  Seriously, your people are too friendly. You were born in the wrong place.  Your national anthem and your President are cool, and your fabric shops are bigger than my town centre  by all accounts,  but all this "Have a Nice Day" business is deeply problematic. In a country with so many lawyers, I'd have thought someone would have knocked that cheery shit on the head by now, honestly!  

Come to Britain. Head North. A few summers of driving rain and winters of discontent will have you feeling like a new woman in no time.

9 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

You need to move to Britain.  Seriously, your people are too friendly. You were born in the wrong place.  Your national anthem and your President are cool, and your fabric shops are bigger than my town centre  by all accounts,  but all this "Have a Nice Day" business is deeply problematic. In a country with so many lawyers, I'd have thought someone would have knocked that cheery shit on the head by now, honestly!  

Come to Britain. Head North. A few summers of driving rain and winters of discontent will have you feeling like a new woman in no time.

 

Can you see if Noel Gallagher needs an IT?  Because this doesn't sound half bad.

He most likely is open to offers from It Girls, but I am not sure if that is what you are offering? Perhaps Jason DeRulo can help us in this matter?

I also don't know how this would look on a visa application.

56 minutes ago, blessalessi said:

You need to move to Britain.  Seriously, your people are too friendly. You were born in the wrong place.  Your national anthem and your President are cool, and your fabric shops are bigger than my town centre  by all accounts,  but all this "Have a Nice Day" business is deeply problematic. In a country with so many lawyers, I'd have thought someone would have knocked that cheery shit on the head by now, honestly!  

Wait, this is seriously an option? Can I move in with you Britain? Someplace where I wouldn't have to bother with all the fake politeness shit would be so awesome.

I don't mind "Have a Nice Day!" as long as that's it. One surface politeness, then no more conversation. Easy, simple, done. (So then why, you may ask, did I marry a man who knows freaking everybody and has to talk to them everytime he sees them and expects me to recognize them and remember their names? Opposites attract?)

5 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I don't mind "Have a Nice Day!" as long as that's it. One surface politeness, then no more conversation. Easy, simple, done. (So then why, you may ask, did I marry a man who knows freaking everybody and has to talk to them everytime he sees them and expects me to recognize them and remember their names? Opposites attract?)

THIS! Mister Destiny is the same way, and I'm like, dude, no one cares about the weather or whatever random shit. Can I go now? I'm not good with people, especially if I don't have a keyboard between me and them. I have very few friends IRL, because leaving the house and being social is too much work.

Oh, of course @Destiny! You can even help fight in the War on Wanton Happiness.

@WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?  My life verse is Romans 5:3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings. My spiritual gifting is Irrefutability, so there is that too.

Some of your contemporaries have already infiltrated our country to sow seeds of contentment and, on this occasion, I don't just mean the Vandenhurks to England!

There is some dark stuff going on in places like Starbucks and Gap in every town centre in our land.  Embarassed teenagers are beginning to be made to mutter terrible things like "enjoy the rest of your day" as they hand over change and receipts at the till.  As of now, we can steer the situation into a grumpy exchange about the mandatory 5p charge for carrier bags, and so we can usually part on traditional frowny terms.

We need to be on our guard against the slow creep of organised happiness though. We can never be truly free unless we are free to be grumpy.

Although I am not a monarchist, I appreciate our Queen's example to us all at this time: