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We've missed some holidays...


HerNameIsBuffy

5,799 views

I've been behind on posting the holidays because...I get bored and find other mindless things to amuse me.  So a quick catch-up:

March 20th - National Ravioli Day

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March 21st - National Common Courtesy and French Bread Days

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March 22nd - National Bavarian Crepes and National Goof Off Day (so like every day, sans crepes?)

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shut up voice in my head..

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March 23rd - ooh - big day - needs bullet points

  • National Chia Day
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  • National Near Miss Day
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  • National Chip & Dip Day
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  • National Melba Toast Day
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  • National Puppy Day - no spoilers on puppies
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March 24th - National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day (which I'm renaming to National That's Freaking Gross Day.  Covering raisins in chocolate doesn't make them food.  You fool no one, raisin people!

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If you have to market it as animal poo to make it more appealing then maybe people shouldn't be eating it.

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March 25th - National Lobster Newberg Day - Edited to add a rant since I looked it up.  Lobster is one of the few foods that needs nothing.  Okay a little garlic butter can come to the party, but it's a sacrilege to bury the perfect flavor in sauce.  Look what they have done...

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How is this abuse of lobster legal?

March 26th - National Nougat and National Spinach Days.  I don't recommend combining those two celebrations.  

Sorry but this was the best I could do - the nougat jokes don't exactly write themselves...

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March 27th - Easter and National Joe Day.  Most guys named Joe are awesome, and usually great looking, which is why I was SO angry when the Grandpa in Willy Wonka was named Joe.  My depth of hatred for that character is near hard to contain...really just fuck that guy!!

March 28th - National Black Forrest Cake Day and National Something on a Stick Day.  It is also national weed appreciation day - but in the lawn context.  Otherwise why wouldn't that be April 20th, am I right?

Not sure what kind of food it is, but it's definitely on a stick

.

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  • Upvote 3

28 Comments


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clueliss

Posted

Another meme free blog?  

There was a second chip day and we missed it!

Chocolate on raisins is just as bad as raisins in cookies loitering about looking like chocolate chips.

 

  • Upvote 3
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blessalessi

Posted

"March 21st - National Common Courtesy and French Bread Days" is problematic.  It is surely a common courtesy to keep breadcrumbs firmly within your own personal bubble, but French bread breadcrumbs are the sort of thing that is hard not to "share", especially if freshly baked for the occasion.

Who is in charge of the National Days diary?  It needs some better coordination.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Just now, clueliss said:

Another meme free blog?  

There was a second chip day and we missed it!

Chocolate on raisins is just as bad as raisins in cookies loitering about looking like chocolate chips.

 

Yes - raisins know no one wants them so they have to stowaway inside other things, feigning deliciousness and basically living a life of fraud as food impostors.  

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blessalessi

Posted

But more importantly, why the loathing for Grandpa Joe?  Are you talking about the book character? I am shocked! :my_dodgy:

  • Upvote 2
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Just now, blessalessi said:

"March 21st - National Common Courtesy and French Bread Days" is problematic.  It is surely a common courtesy to keep breadcrumbs firmly within your own personal bubble, but French bread breadcrumbs are the sort of thing that is hard not to "share", especially if freshly baked for the occasion.

Who is in charge of the National Days diary?  It needs some better coordination.

Idk, but if I find out I'm applying for a job there.  It looks like a pretty cushy gig.  Without even turning my head I can come up with:

  • National lined post it note day
  • National white and pink travel mug of coffee day
  • National USB wireless converter for a cancelled data plan day
  • National Weird Staple Remover Day
  • National Keys to the PBX Room day
  • National Unopened Box of Endust for Electronics Wipes Day
  • National Ream of Paper Being Used In Lieu of Monitor Stand Day

 

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blessalessi

Posted

I would stay in bed on National lined post-it note day.  The people with itty bitty straight-line hand writing should not be allowed to act as though their behaviour is normal and acceptable.  

I would of course bring French bread and dips to celebrate National Scrawly Handwriting Acceptance Day.  And it would coincide with National No Smaller Than 3" Square Post-It Note Day.  

 

I am still upset about Grandpa Joe.  But I suspect our differences might be fewer if we had introduced during your childhood the National No Entry To The Cinema Unless You Can Prove You Have Read The Complete And Unabridged Literary Version Of This Story Day.

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OnceUponATime

Posted

"March 28th - National Black Forrest Cake Day" I can't believe I'm just finding out about this now! Maybe in 2017 I'll make my NY's resolution to meal plan based on National days.
 

I want National Can't Read My Own Handwriting Month

 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Just now, OnceUponATime said:

"March 28th - National Black Forrest Cake Day" I can't believe I'm just finding out about this now! Maybe in 2017 I'll make my NY's resolution to meal plan based on National days.
 

I want National Can't Read My Own Handwriting Month

 

I can't read mine either - and black Forrest cake is one of my favorite cakes ever.  One of tiers in my wedding cake was black forest, which I got none of because was too caught up to eat and knew I would get cherry stain on my dress even if i could choke it down.

The next week back at home in sweats and comfy socks we bought one and finally had our "wedding cake."  Tasted way better that way, I'm sure - without all the stress and people.

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blessalessi

Posted

In poor, misunderstood Grandpa Joe's honour, I am going to dress up as him for National Book Day. And hand out copies of CATCC to all the local children. As long as Book Day doesn't coincide with National Don't Accept Books From Strange Old Men Day.

Also:

please, oh please, we beg, we pray, 
Go throw your TV set away, 
And in its place you can install 
A lovely bookshelf on the wall. 

  • Upvote 4
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OnceUponATime

Posted

3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

black Forrest cake is one of my favorite cakes ever.

Mine too. This is what it looks like when no one is selling it in cake form and you are forced to get a sundae instead

blackforest.jpg

It was good.

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crazydaffodil

Posted

How did you let me miss national ravioli day!!!!  Dammit!  :Grrrrr:

  • Upvote 1
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 hour ago, clueliss said:

Another meme free blog?  

There was a second chip day and we missed it!

Chocolate on raisins is just as bad as raisins in cookies loitering about looking like chocolate chips.

 

Edited - couldn't let you go memeless.

  • Upvote 2
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blessalessi

Posted

We should get to add a second upvote if we want, when a post gets edited. :)

  • Upvote 1
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

4 hours ago, blessalessi said:

But more importantly, why the loathing for Grandpa Joe?  Are you talking about the book character? I am shocked! :my_dodgy:

He hadn't gotten out of bed in 20 years before the ticket - then he's completely ambulatory and good to go.  

If he hadn't gotten out of bed in 20 years that means either his daughter/dil or son/sil had to deal with his elimination, bathing, etc for TWO DECADES when he was perfectly capable of getting up if there was something interesting to do.  

They did this in addition to supporting him financially.  

I am all about caring for family but if someone was so lazy they would rather I attend to their intimate care when they were perfectly capable of doing it themselves ...there would be issues.  

And the tobacco thing.  He had no business letting others spend a penny on tobacco when they kid didn't have enough to eat.  (shitty financial choices on behalf of the parents Bucket, but he could have refused.)

although Charlie was shitty himself - playing favorites with his grandparents.  

Between this and Matilda - the only Dahl works with which I'm familiar - you couldn't pay me to spend two minutes inside that guy's head.  Roald Dahl's psyche seems scary as fuck from here.

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blessalessi

Posted

He's British. We enjoy dark humour. :P

I fear the problem started when we first let young Chris Columbus play around with sailboats. It's all spiralled out of control. First you started adding too much water to your butter, then you invented Cool Whip instead of mayonnaise, and it probably isn't going to end until we have mandatory comedy lessons taught in schools in all states, starting in kindergarten.

The bottom line: in your country there's no "u" in humour!

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

1 minute ago, blessalessi said:

He's British. We enjoy dark humour. :P

I fear the problem started when we first let young Chris Columbus play around with sailboats. It's all spiralled out of control. First you started adding too much water to your butter, then you invented Cool Whip instead of mayonnaise, and it probably isn't going to end until we have mandatory comedy lessons taught in schools in all states, starting in kindergarten.

The bottom line: in your country there's no "u" in humour!

Ahem.

Miracle Whip in lieu of mayonnaise.  

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Cool Whip in lieu of whipped cream.  

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If you are going to mock us...

And we don't need comedy lessons because you have the genius that is Ricky Gervais as the ambassador of all that is funny.

 

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blessalessi

Posted

I am going to assume that you are serving up a side order of Best of British self-deprecation and irony with that Miracle-you're-still-alive Whip photo.... ;)

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Maggie Mae

Posted

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

He hadn't gotten out of bed in 20 years before the ticket - then he's completely ambulatory and good to go.  

If he hadn't gotten out of bed in 20 years that means either his daughter/dil or son/sil had to deal with his elimination, bathing, etc for TWO DECADES when he was perfectly capable of getting up if there was something interesting to do.  

They did this in addition to supporting him financially.  

I am all about caring for family but if someone was so lazy they would rather I attend to their intimate care when they were perfectly capable of doing it themselves ...there would be issues.  

And the tobacco thing.  He had no business letting others spend a penny on tobacco when they kid didn't have enough to eat.  (shitty financial choices on behalf of the parents Bucket, but he could have refused.)

although Charlie was shitty himself - playing favorites with his grandparents.  

Between this and Matilda - the only Dahl works with which I'm familiar - you couldn't pay me to spend two minutes inside that guy's head.  Roald Dahl's psyche seems scary as fuck from here.

The Witches was also really weird. And the movie has a very different ending, and Roald Dahl apparently hated it. 

I like Roald Dahl, though. Even if the books are completely weird. Grandpa Jo was a jerk, but Charlie Bucket's dad worked in a factory where all day he screwed the tops of toothpaste on. Not a lot of job security there. 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Just now, blessalessi said:

I am going to assume that you are serving up a side order of Best of British self-deprecation and irony with that Miracle-you're-still-alive Whip photo.... ;)

Tough talk from the culture that brought us something called brown sauce.  

I love BBC tv - I have heard of it 100x - what the HELL is brown sauce?

Also beans have no business near toast of any kind.  And I spent 6 weeks in England as a teenager and not one hotel or restaurant knew how to scramble eggs.  

And the fact that your entire country keeps ketchup locked up like it's some kind of currency...you have to beg, give a reason, sign over your life to get some in the 80's.  Hopefully things have improved for you, or you're all still suffering from a nutritional ketchup deficiency.  

although I will say...all was forgiven when i tasted fish and chips with vinegar for the first time over there.  That is happiness wrapped in newspaper, let me tell you.  

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blessalessi

Posted

Brown Sauce?! You mean HP Sauce, obviously.... Pah!  You can always ask for "red sauce" or "tomato sauce" as an alternative, you know.  In the 80s, we were only just being infested with McDonalds franchises, we probably hadn't been ketchupped yet by then!

 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Just now, blessalessi said:

Brown Sauce?! You mean HP Sauce, obviously.... Pah!  You can always ask for "red sauce" or "tomato sauce" as an alternative, you know.  In the 80s, we were only just being infested with McDonalds franchises, we probably hadn't been ketchupped yet by then!

 

Is that like steak sauce?  Like A-1?  (Can anyone help bridge this cultural divide and tell me what this is in condiment terms this insular American would understand? :) 

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blessalessi

Posted

I would say I couldn't care less what you think of our cuisine, and flounce from your blog in disgust but..... wait, WHAT? 

 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

This was awesome...kind of reminds me of the style of the Grumpy BBC which I love.

What do you call sidewalks?

And ITA is on couldn't care less!

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blessalessi

Posted

Pavements.  Yeah, I don't know why, either. :my_blush:

OK then, in the interest of maintaining international peace and goodwill, I will wave a white flag and offer you a fish and chip supper, both with traditional newspaper wrapping AND on a compartmentalised platter!

 

Screenshot_2016-03-28-23-34-33_kindlephoto-8844154.jpg

If you don't fancy the mushy peas, tartare sauce or grilled lemon (never seen a grilled lemon before, but it is the price you pay for needing your food items not to touch!)...

Here is a link to the HP Sauce wiki, as I am sure you will want to check the ingredients. The tl:dr version:it's brown.

You won't find it in a chip shop but you will usually find a bottle in a pub or greasy spoon cafe. With semi-dried sauce around the neck of the bottle at no extra charge. You're welcome! :)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HP_Sauce

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