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Buffy's Commentary

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Random Neural Firings...


HerNameIsBuffy

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tm Dave Barry on the title.  Just some thoughts that passed through my head today...

  1. I hate my master bathroom so much it's like an abusive relationship.
  2. I don't know why tub treads are marketed for people with kids.  They are the perfect solution for everyone who loves baths.
  3. I hate the color beige
  4. Vertical blinds were designed by a committee of demons
  5. I have no idea what my style of kitchen sink is called
  6. Why does the igniter on my stove click when the outlet in the main bathroom is used?
  7. I need some of those storage bags where you can suck the air out with a vacuum and store extra bedding and out of season clothing flat.  I've needed them for years and just keep forgetting to buy them.
  8. I'm afraid of fireplaces and pools, but I like the concept of both in theory.
  9. I do think Boston Rob was the best contestant ever to play Survivor
  10. The two side back cushions on the living room couch are sagging, the middle one is not.  How do I encourage the cats to rotate their napping so as to ruin the couch evenly?
  11. I hate coffee tables, but I have to begrudgingly admit their utility.
  12. The fact that I do not have a canopy bed is proof my husband doesn't love me.
  13. I have lived carpet free for the last 9 months and it's been life changing.
  14. I am thinking of putting a curse on whoever installed the tub for putting the motor where it can only be serviced by Borrowers.
  15. Hampers are apparently more complicated than they appear.
  16. There is no upper age limit on Easter baskets.
  17. When barefoot my feet look smaller than they are due to my extremely high instep.  This is a common trait among people of Penna-dutch ancestry.
  18. Peeps are hands down the cutest candy
  19. Razzles (it's a candy!  It's a gum!) were awesome in the 70's - the current version is an affront to decent people everywhere.
  20. One of my sons came into my room yesterday before 6:00 am to tell me he hated those erasers from when he was a kid that smelled like fruit, but just tasted like eraser.  Random thoughts might be hereditary.
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Maggie Mae

Posted

1. I hate our master "bath" too. Some designer or "architect" or builder decided that the bathroom attached to the master bedroom would be a great place to put in a 1/2 bath. So we get a sink and a toilet attached to the bedroom. Still have to put on a robe to go take a shower -- down the hallway. I suppose guests might want to shower as well. But why not just leave out the 1/2 bath? No one ever uses it for anything. We tried to make it the "#2 room" but that also didn't work out. 

2. Agreed! 

3. Do not get me started. I have slowly started to remove all traces of the "sand" color this house came with. It makes everyone look ill. 

4. I hate window coverings, period. I always leave my blinds all the way up. 

5. me either! double, maybe? 

6. You probably want to get that checked by an electrician. 

7.   They make things wrinkly and usually puff up after a week anyway. Spend the extra money for the "nice" once, they last longer. 

8. I find this to be very strange about you. I like you anyway. 

9. Never seen survivor. Dated someone who was on a different competitive reality tv show. Never saw that one either, though I did look up those episode later and was horrified. 

10. Can you rotate the cushions? Or do what I do and leave something on the other side for a week or two until pet & friends learn to rotate their seating. 

11. We use our coffee table for dining. We put cushions on the floor and sit cross legged. It's not because we care about our posture or core or have an affinity for Japanese architecture. It's because the dining room table is full of plants and and random items that don't belong there. 

12. I had a canopy bed as a child because my mom liked them. I was indifferent but would have preferred to have input on which bed I would be sleeping on. 

13. I hate carpet so so so much. 

14. You have a tub with jets! Nice. 

15. Are they, really? 

16. agreed. I debated buying myself one. Held out hope mom would stick one in the mail. I think she finally decided she had enough of my whining about being "too old" just as I decided I wasn't too old. : ( 

17. INTERESTING! Is that short for Pennsylvania Dutch?

18. I like the ones with the crunchy chocolate. 

19. Not sure I've had that. I might have. 

20. They still have those erasers? 

  • Upvote 2
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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

4 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

1. I hate our master "bath" too. Some designer or "architect" or builder decided that the bathroom attached to the master bedroom would be a great place to put in a 1/2 bath. So we get a sink and a toilet attached to the bedroom. Still have to put on a robe to go take a shower -- down the hallway. I suppose guests might want to shower as well. But why not just leave out the 1/2 bath? No one ever uses it for anything. We tried to make it the "#2 room" but that also didn't work out. 

We apparently live in the same house,  WHAT were they thinking?  Less room in the hall bath, less room in master closet for a small powder room with no utility unless I want our rare company traipsing through our bedroom pissing off the cats (who hide there when people are over.)

I figure it will come in handy if, and only if, I'm ever taken hostage in my bedroom and nature calls.  I would risk that in a second to get the original closet space and laundry chute.

Yes - just found out a month or so ago from a neighbor that the hall bath had a laundry chute before the remodel.  Knowing what once was enflames my rage.  We have a litter box in there and call it the cats' bathroom.

2. Agreed! 

3. Do not get me started. I have slowly started to remove all traces of the "sand" color this house came with. It makes everyone look ill. 

4. I hate window coverings, period. I always leave my blinds all the way up. 

I know this about you, let I like you anyway. :)  One of our neighbors is always looking out his window.  Since we live on a sedate street where the wildest thing that happens is an errant basketball escaping a driveway it's gotta be pretty boring for him -  I'd just as soon he not be able watch me keep my couch from hitting the ceiling.  

We moved in last summer and I still haven't gotten around to swapping out the window coverings in the living room.  I suck at that kind of thing.  

5. me either! double, maybe? 

No - it's single (my first) and super deep with a great faucet.  I love it and thought it was called a farmers sink, but someone here posted pics of a farmers sink and those are a lot wider.  Guess it doesn't matter as long as I like it.

6. You probably want to get that checked by an electrician. 

Yeah - I know.  

7.   They make things wrinkly and usually puff up after a week anyway. Spend the extra money for the "nice" once, they last longer. 

8. I find this to be very strange about you. I like you anyway. 

Fear of fire and drowning are primal and universal - I just am a little excessive about it.  Every time Mr. Buffy wants to use the fireplace I say sure, as soon as we call a chimney sweep out to make sure it's safe.  He kept forgetting to call which got us through last winter.  I'm hoping to use his penchant to procrastinate to get through next one.

9. Never seen survivor. Dated someone who was on a different competitive reality tv show. Never saw that one either, though I did look up those episode later and was horrified. 

That is fascinating...and I think we'd could all horrify people if reality cameras caught us at the right moment.

10. Can you rotate the cushions? Or do what I do and leave something on the other side for a week or two until pet & friends learn to rotate their seating. 

No - they are the kind that are part of the couch...attached.  Not a fan of the furniture, so will replace it eventually - just have had other things to throw money at lately.  And I'm aware having to fluff up two cushions a few times a day is the ultimate first word problem.

11. We use our coffee table for dining. We put cushions on the floor and sit cross legged. It's not because we care about our posture or core or have an affinity for Japanese architecture. It's because the dining room table is full of plants and and random items that don't belong there. 

I find people who can keep plants alive to be almost a separate species of human than I.  I've never met a plant that didn't hate me.

12. I had a canopy bed as a child because my mom liked them. I was indifferent but would have preferred to have input on which bed I would be sleeping on. 

I had one as a kid and loved it.  It never occurred to me it was a grown up option until I saw Erin Paine's bedroom...which no, on the style, but got me looking online to see some adult options and now life feels incomplete.  It doesn't help that when it comes to decorating I'm stunted at about 12 with a deep and abiding love of pink, eyelet, florals, lace, etc.  The more cloyingly feminine the more I love it.  I embrace my inner tackiness but do try to keep it contained.

13. I hate carpet so so so much. 

14. You have a tub with jets! Nice. 

It would be if you didn't have to hold the button in to keep them on.  It's a $17 part my husband can swap out, but no way to access without breaking through our closet wall which is just on the other side.  When he has the time to do it right and build an access panel we will - in the meantime I just sigh loudly after every bath to remind him of the depth of my suffering.

15. Are they, really? 

Judging by the difficulty the other intelligent adults in my house have with them I'd have to say yes.

16. agreed. I debated buying myself one. Held out hope mom would stick one in the mail. I think she finally decided she had enough of my whining about being "too old" just as I decided I wasn't too old. : ( 

I have one who has become the expert eye roller over Easter baskets, Christmas stockings, etc. because he's too old for that kind of thing.  Too bad, he can suffer.

17. INTERESTING! Is that short for Pennsylvania Dutch?

It is - a couple of my family lines on my mom's side were Pennsylvania Dutch arriving in the early 1700's.  They dropped the Mennonite deal 1st generation, I neither quilt nor know how to bake a shoo-fly-pie...but everyone in my family has the feet.

18. I like the ones with the crunchy chocolate. 

19. Not sure I've had that. I might have. 

20. They still have those erasers? 

I don't know - our dentist used to give them to the kids after each appointment when they were small.  Apparently it just jumped into his memory before dawn for no reason.  

 

  • Upvote 1
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clueliss

Posted

Number 3.  As an apartment dweller for a huge chunk of my adult life I have decided that hell.is decorated with beige walls and taupe carpeting with matching bland mini blinds 

  • Upvote 2
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Maggie Mae

Posted

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Fear of fire and drowning are primal and universal - I just am a little excessive about it.  Every time Mr. Buffy wants to use the fireplace I say sure, as soon as we call a chimney sweep out to make sure it's safe.  He kept forgetting to call which got us through last winter.  I'm hoping to use his penchant to procrastinate to get through next one.

I get it. 

I had the chimney sweep come out for my rental - there was a bird nest - and he explained all the different types of fireplaces. Apparently the kind we have at the rental doesn't need much maintenance at all. The one at our living house, however, does. It was cool how he explained how it works, and why some fireplaces are more dangerous than others. 

Also, my parents have a "gas log" which was no more dangerous than the gas stove, supposedly. 

As for pools, I've never had that fear. I could swim before I could walk. If i could swim to work, I'd be a happy girl. :) Although I am starting to develop a fear of open water, which is new. I don't think I like it. 

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

3 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I get it. 

I had the chimney sweep come out for my rental - there was a bird nest - and he explained all the different types of fireplaces. Apparently the kind we have at the rental doesn't need much maintenance at all. The one at our living house, however, does. It was cool how he explained how it works, and why some fireplaces are more dangerous than others. 

Also, my parents have a "gas log" which was no more dangerous than the gas stove, supposedly. 

As for pools, I've never had that fear. I could swim before I could walk. If i could swim to work, I'd be a happy girl. :) Although I am starting to develop a fear of open water, which is new. I don't think I like it. 

You should have a fear of open water.  Have you taken a look at the specs on a giant squid?

  1. Hundred of suckers on tentacles - each lined with razor sharp 'teeth' 
  2. 3 foot long prehensile spermatophore-depositing tubes on the males.  That's a 36" long squid penis.
  3. They will use their razor sharp beaks to start eating you before you're even dead.
  4. You're underwater while all this is happening

so you're drowning while being sliced, eaten alive, and worried about a 3' penis.  

That has topped my list of ways I'm most afraid to die for decades.  

You may not meet a giant squid in open water, but you absolutely won't meet one sitting in your living room.  Caution is warranted.

Spoiler

15-giant-squid-pictures.jpg

Quote

A squid's razor-sharp beak is a merciless weapon against its prey, allowing it to chomp tasty bites out of its victims. Here we see a close-up of a Caribbean reef squid's beak.

Why is everything on these guys either gelatinous or razor sharp?  That's not right!

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blessalessi

Posted

The storage bags are a lie.  

1.  They don't store things flat, they store them in a weird air-sucked-out-of-bag shape.

2.  If they fall out of the cupboard and land on your head they really hurt.  They should really only hurt as much as the sum total of pain that the soft sweaters inside would inflict, if a pile of sweaters fell out of the cupboard, but this is not the case.  The bags must be made of deceptively heavy plastic.

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