I've come up with a great new diet that allows you to lose weight without reducing the amount of food you consume or even having to exercise. Eat all the garbage, sugary food you want and sit on the couch all day! You'll never have to worry about stepping on the scale again and worrying about how high or how low the numbers might read!
It's all quite simple. Your weight is determined by the amount of force being pulled to the earth by gravitational pull. Rather than focusing on the force, let's focus on the gravitational pull! Just send us $99.99 and we'll send you this complete set of restraining belts to hold you onto your furniture so that you don't drift away!!! Call now and we'll send you a second set for just the price of shipping and handling!!!
(Bolts and tools for securing furniture to the floor not included. Degrees of success may vary.)