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In a fairytale world

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Who let the dogs out?

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OnceUponATime

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I love animals. I also like pets. We currently do not own any pets. I have had many pets in the past. We have a neighborly cat that I am trying to tame, which is one of about 10 cats I have seen in my garden in the last 4 months.

While my BF would like a pet, I'm a bit more hesitant. I have a few things that need doing before we get any pets that will come inside: paint the rest of the inside of the house, get me allergy tested and create a good way of being able to fully shut off the kitchen. There will be NO pets in my kitchen!!! It's bad enough when my hair gets in the food, we don't need any more hair floating around.

We're currently pet sitting at the moment. We have a lovely border collie living with us. While I love her to bits, she is also giving me a reality check. Yeah, totally not ready for the level of energy draining and responsibility that pet owning comes with.

Ah the responsibility, annoyances and joy of having pets.

  • I have to make sure she has adequate water inside and outside every single day.
  • She needs to be fed every single day (and she is eating a lot more this visit, so now we need to refill her feed supply). I guess she is feeling more at home now.
  • I have to get out of bed on time to put her outside so she doesn't pee inside (it hasn't happened here yet, but I know with her that it can)
  • To try and keep the neighbors happy I'm trying to teach her it is not OK to bark all day long when she doesn't get her way. Trying but failing. At least if I open the door she stops howling at the sirens.
  • If I put her outside, even if she has asked to go outside, within 5 minutes she will be at the door whining. And she can whine for a very very long time. Telling her to stop works, but only for a minute. It is high pitch and annoys me, after half an hour she usually starts whine-yapping. I give in. 
  • If she is inside and I'm busy that is pretty much a guarantee that she will start to climb on me. As far as I know, I am not a jungle gym but apparently she didn't get that message.
  • If she is happily lying on her mat (good girl!) and I move or make any sound, she thinks that is an invitation to play.
  • Doggy-abuse. She socks me in the face if I don't pay enough attention to her. If I don't let her put her wet nose in my face she will use her paws to try and hold it down. If I'm holding a hot drink and can't pet her she will try to nudge it out of my hand. She will climb onto my lap and lie down making sure I can't see my lappy screen, thus keeping me from FJ ;) The ultimate punishment. She sticks also her tongue in my ear. I mean really. How rude!
  • Holding a pair of socks is apparently my way of telling her it's time to go for a walk. Her excitement meter breaks if she sees me grab a hoodie or a jacket. Amusingly she really does know the difference between items of clothing. If I grab a t shirt she looks at me, sighs and goes back to whatever she was doing. Usually me grabbing such things doesn't mean she gets to go for a walk. Cue the whines and yaps.
  • I swear this dog is half human. She has the whole disgruntled act down pat. Even groans, sighs and grumbles as if she is human. You'd think I was telling her to go scrub the toilets, but no just to lie down and be quiet and stop bumping my damn arm!
  • She is selectively deaf. If I tell her to play dead sometimes she will. Sometimes she won't. If she does and you do not scratch her belly she will try and paw you. If you are too far away she will try and jump off the ground from her back (I guess rolling over is too much work). It is quite amusing.
  • She knows what "stay" is, but if she doesn't want to she will commando crawl up to you as if you can't see her (but she still expects attention). If you send her back to where she was, or point, or make a loud noise expect her to mope away like a forlorn kid who didn't get a jellybean.
  • There may be a difference in opinion as to the area of the house the pooch is allowed in. Someone thinks she should be allowed to run into the kitchen if someone comes in the door. I strongly disagree! she knows the magic line. I just need to clear my throat when she is over it and she will come slinking back into the safe zone ;)
  • I lock the gate when I leave her (because it is possible she could learn to open it herself). If I hear any dog closer to where I am than she should be I get worried that she escaped. We didn't used to call her Houdini for nothing ;) I don't like leaving her for long because of this, I'm always half expecting to have a crazy happy dog sprint up to me, spring onto my back making me face plant into the sidewalk, all while she is  in the process of telling me just how happy she is to see me again (cue the dog kisses).
  • The dirt. OMG the piles of dust she creates (part of why I have a kitchen rule!). I have swept the living room (where she stays) three times today. It is still fully of dust and grrr I don't want to clean properly because it'll just get straight back how it was once she comes in again. We have a few ditches that need filling up in our back yard. She loves running through them :( mudfest
  • When I take her for a walk she insists on peeing on every piece of dog shit along the way. There were a lot. She didn't like me making her move on. I just wanted to get my windy walk over with. And no doubt she'll be ready to go on another one in a few minutes ;) I won't be.
  • Having to find dog sitters must suck. I don't know because I've never tried but it is one of the reasons I don't really want to get a pet. If you're gone for a bit you need to have someone take care of them. Now we can just go away for a few days without really caring about all that stuff.
  • She has a boyfriend ;) he lives next door. Thankfully they run a lot of energy off together running up and down the fence line. She has been acting a bit weird towards him lately. I hope she isn't gearing up for a visit from aunt flo.

Dogs/pets to me are a bit like kids. I mean I usually like them and get on fine, but at the end of the day I sure am glad when I can give them back.

This blog comes to you because I'm dog sitting. Just as well that damn dog sleeps better this time and is so damn cute

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